Posts by goldenteddybear

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guess who's engaged?!??!
[also britt i love that clan it looks so cool]

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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; letter-spacing:3px][color=gray][sub][font=arial]you're the apple to my pie, you're the straw to my berry[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px][hr][glow=black,2,300][color=black][font=georgia][size=26pt]GETTING MARRIED[hr][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; letter-spacing:3px][color=gray][sub][font=arial]you're the smoke to my high, and you're the one i want to marry[/fancypost]

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[size=6pt]★ trek

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i am getting married trek get your mind out of the gutter rudy and carlisle wouldn't be a wedding it would be a trainwreck and you damn know it xD

i would very much like to be beautiful.
i'm not sure why,
because beauty is a social construct,
it's what's on the inside that counts,
and there's no real image of what's pretty.
but all the same,
i think that if i had a wish,
i would like to look nice.

i would rather be anyone but me.
i would like to be jake, because he's adorable.
i would like to be britt, because she's beautiful.
i would like to be felix, because he's gorgeous.
i would like to be nycto, because she's so pretty.
i do not want to be me,
i am disgusting,
i am vile,
i look in the mirror and all i can see,
is all the flaws that i know are there.

i know there are more important things,
it's better to be clever than cute,
it's better to be funny than f.uckable,
it's better to be loyal than lovely.
but i just wish,
that i could maybe,
just maybe,
be looked at like i'm someone nice.

and i can't make up my mind,
because half of the time,
i say 'i'm so perfect!',
but the other half of the time,
i'm stood in front of a mirror,
squeezing fat that isn't there,
on my chest, my legs, my neck.
who squeezes their neck?
i do.

if i could i would cut it all off.
i wouldn't mind doing that,
i could take a knife,
and slice off the pieces of flesh that are wrong,
i don't mind blood,
i quite like it,
i'm familiar with it by now,
salty metallic scent in the air,
bright red colour dripping into sinks,
it's normal by now.

i want to be beautiful.
i want to be someone else.
i'm weak for wanting that,
i know i am, i know it's silly,
but it's true.
i want it so badly.
i think i'd do anything for it,
and that disgusts me,
it makes me hate myself even more,
it's a vicious cycle, over and over,
i wish, i hate myself, i hurt myself,
i wish i hadn't hurt myself,
and it starts again.

they told us,
that if we got bad again,
we had to tell someone.
"we will listen!"
they insisted.
the first time round,
i believed them.
the second time round,
i was more hesitant.
the third time round,
i gave up trying.

friends told me,
"we are here for you!",
and they told me,
"you can talk any time!",
and they kept saying,
"you are not alone!".
but it is three in the morning,
and i am so empty,
and i haven't eaten for three days,
but i'm not hungry,
i'm just afraid.

i think i'm getting bad again,
i was doing so well,
i was eating the right foods,
i was remembering my meds,
i was smiling and laughing,
i was so happy.
i don't know what happened,
but i'm just not any more,
and this is worse than SSDIS,
this is worse than grey days,
this is the black days,
and i've nothing to light them up.

i wish someone would help me,
but these are people i don't want to burden,
i love them too much,
they're my friends,
they're my family,
i don't want to hurt them,
by telling them that i'm hurting myself.
so i'll just stay quiet,
i'm very good at quiet,
too good, perhaps,
too good for people to realize,
that i am crumbling.

i don't want to be like this,
i don't want to be me,
i want to be something else,
someone else, somewhere else,
instead,
i am forced to sit here,
a broken mess of tears and glass and blood,
and tell myself that i won't get bad again.

ten things i would like to be that i am not.

one: i would like to be funnier.
my sense of humor is twisted and f.ucked up,
and i don't properly know how to laugh,
so i just briefly crack a smile,
at my own terrible jokes.

two: i would like to be thinner.
i do not like the weight that i'm at,
i don't like the way my body looks,
when i gaze into a glittering bathroom mirror,
all i see is ugliness.

three: i would like to be braver.
i can't yell back at people,
i can't show someone that they're hurting me,
i can't defend the people i love,
it makes me feel weak and useless.

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*puts head around door*
how has everyone been lately
what's been up lately
any new members
anyone been killed
everyone still doing okay

@coffee's heart
s t o p

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i'm extremely talented em
i'm very evil and very dark and i am also very passionate about rights for all
#tinkforpresident

and god teen wolf
i gave up when stalia became a thing
i can't watch ships be burned before my very eyes
i'm too cute for that s.hit

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you may use your own form but it must have the following:
- at least one picture
- name
- age
- gender identity
- crime/s
- mental illnesses/disorders
- personality/personality traits/both
- history
- sexuality
- at least one theme song
you must have a faceclaim, this is not optional[/fancypost]

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[align=center][img height=160]https://33.media.tumblr.com/0f…vf3zpBoA1uqghkvo1_250.gif[/img] [img height=160]http://38.media.tumblr.com/98c…ine_mqpb66t1Sq1qz4rgp.gif[/img] [img height=160]https://33.media.tumblr.com/af…vf1jE1Ak1uqghkvo1_250.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; margin-top:-14px][glow=#8C8C8C,2,300][size=25pt][color=#D4F0FF][font=arial]★ [b]AARON SUTTON[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; padding:0px; height:1px; background-color:black; width:488px; margin-top:-8px; opacity:0.6][/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; padding:0px; height:1px; background-color:black; width:488px; margin-top:-5px; opacity:0.6][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; padding:0px; width:488px; color:black; font-size:8pt; text-align:justify; margin-top:3px]TEXT HERE[/fancypost][align=center]
[size=6pt]★ trek

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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; margin-top:-14px][glow=white,2,300][size=25pt][color=#820BBB][font=arial]★ [b]FRANKY X[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; padding:0px; height:1px; background-color:black; width:488px; margin-top:-8px; opacity:0.6][/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; padding:0px; height:1px; background-color:black; width:488px; margin-top:-5px; opacity:0.6][/fancypost]
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[size=6pt]★ trek

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//tracks

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: Georgia; color: black; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 95%; text-align: left;][b][i]BASICS&&[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; border-top: 1px black solid; width: 400px; margin-top: -6px;][/fancypost]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; color: black; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 95%; text-align: justify;][b][NAME] renn ivy peshlakai - her surname is a navajo one meaning silversmith
[NICKNAME(S)] none
[BIOLOGICAL SEX] female
[AGE] seventeen
[RANK] the skinwalker
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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: Georgia; color: black; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 95%; text-align: left;][i]APPEARANCE&&[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; border-top: 1px black solid; width: 400px; margin-top: -6px;][/fancypost]
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[b][HAIR TYPE] thick, wavy, and generally tangled or held into natural loose curls
[i]HAIR COLOR: bright red hair, an extremely distinctive color that marks her out from most crowds
HAIR LENGTH: extremely long, as she doesn't cut it much; falls down to about her waist
[EYE SHAPE] large and rounded, turned down at the inside corners which gives her a catlike look
EYE COLOR: naturally a bright emerald green, but this is masked by the glowing gold color that show her up as a skinwalker
[BODY TYPE] lithe and slender, with narrow hips and wiry muscle built into her legs and arms - renn is a malnourished girl
HEIGHT: five foot three and a half inches
WEIGHT: an underweight forty three kilograms
[BODY MODIFICATIONS] renn has two scars on both her cheeks, marked out like whiskers, and a burnmark on the back of her left hand, put there to mark her as an outcast
[CLOTHING STYLE] renn wears a ragged pale grey dress that falls down to a few inches above her knees and has extremely short sleeves that just about cover her shoulders, and is torn in multiple places. she goes barefoot, and has a mask that covers the upper half of her face - it's like a masquerade mask but with animal ears; this means you can't fully see her eyes and are thus less likely to be frozen from the fear that skinwalkers instill in people. renn wears streaks of blood on her face, and will always have at least one thing belonging to an animal on her. often it's feathers in her hair, sometimes it's the blood of that animal, and sometimes she will wear their pelt. when she gets cold, renn has a cloak she wears.
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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: Georgia; color: black; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 95%; text-align: left;]DIGGING DEEPER&&[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; border-top: 1px black solid; width: 400px; margin-top: -6px;][/fancypost]
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[b][POSITIVE TRAITS] intelligent, capable, smooth-talking, persuasive, quick-witted, ambitious, bold, shrewd, canny, observant, good at working on her own, adaptable, independent, not afraid to speak her mind
[NEGATIVE TRAITS] answer here
[HISTORY] answer here
[i]BIRTHPLACE: answer here
PARENTS: answer here
SIBLINGS: answer here
PAST RELATIONSHIPS: answer here
PRESENT RELATIONSHIPS: answer here
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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: Georgia; color: black; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 95%; text-align: left;]THE QUESTIONS&&[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; border-top: 1px black solid; width: 400px; margin-top: -6px;][/fancypost]
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[b]LOOK AT THE IMAGE AND TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT
[i]HAPPY OR UNEASY?:
DOES THE SCARECROW MAKE YOUR UNEASY? OR SOMETHING ELSE?:
WOULD YOU STAY THERE A WEEK ALONE?:
WHAT ABOUT IF THE BARN WAS HAUNTED?:

WHICH ONE MAKE YOU MORE ANXIOUS
MEN WORRY YOU OR WOMEN WORRY YOU:
PLANES SCARE YOU OR CROWDS SCARE YOU:
YOU HAVE A FEAR OF HEIGHTS OR A FEAR OR DROWNING:
SNAKES SCARE YOU OR RATS SCARE YOU:
GUNS ARE SCARY OR KNIVES ARE SCARY:
SNAKES SCARE YOU OR YOU FEAR COCKROACHES:
CLOWNS SCARE YOU OR SCARECROWS SCARE YOU:
GORE DISGUSTS YOU OR YOU ARE SCARED OF CROWS:
YOU FEAR COCKROACHES OR SPIDERS ARE CREEPY:
GORE DISGUST YOU OR YOU FEAR NEEDLES:
CLOWNS SCARE YOU OR ZOMBIES SCARE YOU:
YOU FEAR NEEDLES OR YOU FEAR CANINES:
YOU FEAR NEEDLES OR YOU ARE SCARED OF STORMS:

BE FULLY TRUTHFUL TO THESE QUESTIONS
DO YOU FEAR THE SUPERNATURAL?:
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF THE SUPERNATURAL?:
IF YOUR FRIEND HAS A FEAR OF ISOLATION WOULD YOU PITY THEM?:

LETS GET MORE IN DEPTH WITH HOW YOU FEEL TOWARDS OTHERS
WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT IN A PERSON LOYALTY OR HONESTY:
WHAT ABOUT HONESTY OR CHARITY:

LETS SEE THE PEOPLE YOU LIKE MORE THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW OF
THE RICH BOY OR THE JOCK:
THE INDEPENDENT ONE OR SMART A.SS:
THE SHY ONE OR THE IGNORANT PR.CK:
THE QUEEN BEE OR THE JCOK:
THE RICH BOY OR THE INDEPENDENT ONE:
THE SMART A.SS OR THE QUEEN BEE:

NOW WHO DO YOU MOST DISLIKE
THE INDEPENDENT ONE OR THE QUEEN BEE:
THE RICH BOY OR THE JOCK:
THE SHY ONE OR THE IGNORANT PR.CK:
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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: Georgia; color: black; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 95%; text-align: left;][i]LOVE LIFE&&[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; border-top: 1px black solid; width: 400px; margin-top: -6px;][/fancypost]
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[b][SEXUALITY] answer here
[RELATIONSHIP STATUS] answer here
[LOVE INTEREST] answer here
[BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND] answer here
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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; font-family: Georgia; color: black; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 95%; text-align: left;][i]OTHER&&[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px; border-top: 1px black solid; width: 400px; margin-top: -6px;][/fancypost]
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[b][PLOT IDEAS] answer here
[OTHER] answer here
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[fancypost borderwidth=0px; border-top: 1px white solid; width: 500px; margin-top: 0px;][font=georgia][size=5pt][color=white]TEMPLATE ©BOKEH | PREMADE FORM TEMPLATE | #BOKEHFANCY[/fancypost]

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tfw ur computer dies so even tho u want to be sinning casually on the skype chat, u have to use a really old ipod #i cry xD

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i'd be down to plot, but of course there's only so much we can actually discuss cos renn's not a part of the group
still, any plotting you want to do, hmu lixxy :3

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track-a-lackin'

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britty
i'm thinking of also making the independent one and then killing her off
so if you could reserve me that spot, that'd be great babe ^^
but if we can only have one character, i'll stick with renn

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creeps the f.uck in here
sits the f.uck down

[align=left][color=white][size=16pt][font=georgia]HARD LIKE A ROCK, COLD LIKE STONE
[align=right][color=black][size=16pt][font=georgia]WHITE LIKE A DIAMOND, BLACK LIKE COAL

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[font=georgia][color=black][size=12]❝ talent hits a target that nobody else can hit; genius hits a target that nobody else can see ❞[/size]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:350px][hr][hr][justify][sub][color=black]NAME → pandora arigani cartwright

NICKNAME(S) → dirty angel is one generally applied to her instead of her real name.

GENDER → female

AGE → nineteen

HEIGHT/WEIGHT → five foot three and a half inches, and a healthy one hundred ten pounds.

DISEASE → pandora suffers from atelophobia, the fear of failure and of not being good/perfect enough - this is so extreme that when she fails at something or is struck by the paranoia that she isn't good enough for what she's doing, she will freeze completely solid.

TALENTS → pandora is trained intensely in combat, and has been taught from when she was a very young child. she is very good with multiple weapons and at hand-to-hand fighting, and is extremely fast and agile. she's also very intelligent and picks things up very quickly, and has an excellent memory for numbers and solid facts.
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[align=left][color=white][size=16pt][font=georgia]CUT LIKE A JEWEL, YEAH I REPAIR
[align=right][color=black][size=16pt][font=georgia]MYSELF, WHEN YOU'RE NOT THERE
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:350px][hr][hr][justify][color=black][sub]DEFINING TRAITS → intellectual - hardworking - cold - apathetic - lonely - difficult - serious - calm - businesslike - rarely expresses herself - natural leader - not comfortable with those her own age - polite but not friendly - distant - competent - independent - feels the need to constantly prove herself - high class - precise - analytical - practical - burdened - vulnerable - ladylike - never swears - eloquent - well mannered - mentally unstable - paranoid - meticulous - pushes herself - mature beyond her years - regal - dangerous - delusional

PERSONALITY → pandora is an extremely fragile girl. unfortunately, for her entire life, she has not been treated as fragile, nor as a girl. from birth, pandora was always set to be one thing and nothing else - a weapon. she was taught that that was the reason she was alive, and that was what she had to become, and that she didn't have a choice in the matter, and the innocent, easily manipulated young girl was perfectly willing to believe that she wasn't human enough to ever be treated as such.

HISTORY → answer here

FLAWS → answer here

STRENGTHS → answer here

THEME SONGS → answer here
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[align=left][color=white][size=16pt][font=georgia]SOLITAIRE, SOMETHING YOU CONSIDER RARE
[align=right][color=black][size=16pt][font=georgia]I DON'T WANT TO BE COMPARED
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:350px][hr][hr][justify][color=black][sub]SEXUALITY → answer here

TURN ONS → answer here

TURN OFFS → answer here

LOVE INTEREST → answer here
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[align=left][color=white][size=16pt][font=georgia]WITH THAT CHEAP SHIMMER AND GLITTER
[align=right][color=black][size=16pt][font=georgia]SOLITAIRE, SOMETHING YOU CONSIDER RARE
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width:350px][hr][hr][justify][color=black][sub]YOUR NICKNAME(S) → answer here

MUSE LEVEL → answer here

ACTIVITY LEVEL → answer here

OTHER → answer here

ROLE PLAY SAMPLE → answer here
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[align=left][color=white][size=16pt][font=georgia]HARD LIKE A ROCK, COLD LIKE STONE
[align=right][color=black][size=16pt][font=georgia]WHITE LIKE A DIAMOND, BLACK LIKE COAL

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[size=6pt]★ trek

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anyone wanna sort of
*waves hands vaguely*
plot with renn? xD
it's probably pretty difficult since she's not in the actual group
but any kind of discussion about how you guys' characters would get on with her is cool with me ^^