"Great! Join me for a walk?" He asked,
Posts by JumpinBee
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(I PMed you)
"I am at your command." She meowed with a smile.
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"Great! Join me for a walk?" sawyer asked Karmadream -
Sawyer purrs and walks to the forest, waiting for Karmadream
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"We could just hang around here and have some fun. We could go hunting." She offered sweetly.
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Sawyer smilled and looked at her. "Have you ever had a mate?" He asked,
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"Whihc one?" Hs eased, rubbing against him.
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"Stay here or go hunting?" She asked again
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She purred loudly and rubbed against him. "Okay master. What do we do here?"
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Picking up her pace, Silverwing headed towards the Shadowclan and Thunderclan border, hoping to find prey there. She kept silent, placing her paws neatly untill she stopped suddenly as she heared the scury of a mouse a few tail lengths ahead. Lowering into the stalking position, she crawled forward slowly.
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She purr and layed down on the ground in front of him.
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Casey closes her eyes and purrs, laying close to the ground.
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Casey sighed and purred as he stayed on her. "Hmmm, not sure. Maybe we should see them first. But I like Scar." She meowed softly.
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Caey purred as he stayed on top of her longer and longer. "Do you want kits with me? Your slave?"
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(no, sorry!)
Casey purred. "Why though?" She asked still purring and laying down under him.
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Casey purred and closed h eyes, enjoying there bodies together. "Don't leave me please." She whispered.
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Casey purred and finaly slipped out from under him enforce rubbing against his side happily. (Should we skip to kits being born?)
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(Time Skip)
Casey woke with a yowl to a sharp pain in her side and began to pant hard.
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Silverwing staggered backwards, her head ringing, as something slammed into her. As her vision returned to normal, she noticed a Tom, a Shadowclan Tom! Hissing, she unsheathed her claws. "Why are you on Thunderclan territory?" She snarled.
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[font=georgia]Looking better, but there's still a few more things you'll need to do:- You have lots of choppy sentences.
- I still see some spelling/grammar mistakes.
- I don't see how her scar is a weakness.Edit and bump! :]
I haven't posted the edited version of this yet. That is why thoes mistakes are still there. I will explain the scar when I update this.