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What your feeling is very normal. Everyone judges, it's just that some of us choose to keep it inside of themselves, some choose to say it loud as possible....but we're all human beings and this is just one of the characteristics we all have. If you're afraid of people to think of you as a nerd or a geek, you have to fix the image you have of yourself inside your mind. Learn to feel good about yourself, feel confident, happy, what you see of yourself is what those around you will be seeing you as.
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But that's the basics of the basics..isn't that what everyone says all the time? Fear makes us feel insecure, afraid, you may as well as to say that it's a terrible feeling to experience yourself with. On the same scale though, being afraid is never a bad thing, dear. If you don't know how to be afraid, you'll never learn how to be brave either. Realize something about yourself. In order to do that, look at your fears. The feeling of being afraid of them is not that important, but realize that fear points you to the direction of something that are important-something that you should face yourself with. Don't be afraid of them, they're present there within you to let you know that something's worth it.
Now out of all the emotions that are given to you, why are you only focusing on fear? Why not wonder, curiosity, interest, or even disgust?
You are yourself's biggest critic. Before anyone else can criticize or judge you, most of us have already judged ourselves, haven't we? Stop being your own critic, the image you see yourself as will most likely be the way everyone else sees you as. Look a little closer, point out the good sides of yourself and embrace them! Every first step is to open up, open up to yourself. Once you do, you'll find to easier to open up to other as well, the world is not always completely filled with 100% of cruel, judgmental people. All of us are likely to encounter a few of them throughout our lives of course, but don't let it kick you down the hill again, because they're all the same in the end. They're all afraid, sometimes brave, sometimes cruel, sometimes kind, and sometimes too bloated about themselves. Society is made up of every mixed kinds of people like so, there's nothing we can do about it unless you want to wipe everything off and start the universe over again.
There are choices you can make, you could choose to dare yourself to do something you've been afraid to do, or you could accept the fact and be okay with being by yourself. (being by yourself meaning not 'completely all alone', but meaning that being independent. Every depression roots and branches off from somewhere, so mostly likely....it's caused by all your stress and the amount of pressure you're being put on to. Don't be frustrated over the fact that you can't find why it happened, focus on the fact of getting rid of it first. Talking to a counselor/taking medications are a factor to help you of course, but don't let it shape your personality and who you are.
I'm taking a guess, (please do correct me if I'm wrong though.) that you're probably still in your early teens. You're young, you're inexperienced, and you're still very innocent from the rest of the world. Things will easily scar and hurt you, the effects will be greater than it would be for a grown up. Remember, you've still got a long way ahead of you until you fully understand everything about yourself and until you're ready to stand squarely on both your feet for your own self. Things will hurt, things will get you beaten and tears will come out. BUT, thing of them as experiences, something that will help you to chisel you into someone more greater in the future.
You're strong, don't convince yourself that another being is able to crumble you down of who you are. You are you, accept the fact and consider it precious. Because you're you, you're able to do the things that you're doing now and is able to feel those very emotions you're feeling.
( As for your parents- what you must understand here is that every parent wishes their child to grow up to be someone or achieve something that they themselves could never achieve when they were younger. They don't want to put you through the same hardships they may have gone through....but sometimes this pressure can overbuild and put you in stress.
Yes, work will be probably be getting hard for you as you age and grow older, but drop the expectations of HAVING to do perfect and marvelous on every single thing. If you pressure yourself into having to do perfect, it's just going to eat away at you and it'll just trouble you and that's never a good thing! Things will be better for you, I believe that you can pull through this darling : ), stay confident and believe in yourself! )
