[align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; border-left:none; border-right:none; border-top: none; border-bottom: 2px solid #F2473F; color:#4682B4; font-family:ms pmincho; font-size:19pt; text-transform:lowercase;]This situation's becoming dire
My treehouse is on fire[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0; overflow: hidden; height: 350px; width: 400px; text-align: center;][fancypost borderwidth=0; color: black; font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; overflow: auto; height: 352px; width: 402px;][color=white]So I'm not dead. I know I have been inactive for a while. This has been an ongoing thing, actually, but here we are...
I've been on this site for a little over three years, and WCRPG has really added to my life.
I've been in many roleplays. Some ended too quickly, others I couldn't let go of and we kept them going for as long as possible until one by one we all moved on.
I won't forget the amazing stories I've lived on here. Many of them still exist in action through my memory, paragraphs replayed like a broken record I don't want fixed.
I've had to leave roleplays and roleplays have ended on me, and I still don't know which is more painful.
I remember thinking about when this day would come when I first joined this site, hoping that I'd never come to the point where I would be finished here. I knew it was coming. I dreaded it.
I always thought my official "goodbye" would be more elaborate and sprinkled with tears.
I guess the truth is that I just didn't want to grow up.
But I'm in that process now. I'm definitely farther along the road of life than I was, even if it happened a little faster than it should have, or than I wanted it to, within reason.
I thought I would have a lot of goodbyes to say. I remember thinking about how I'd have to do dedications because I'd feel bad if I didn't.
But most of you are gone.
On another site.
Done with this one.
Long gone from communication with me.
And I miss that. Though I'm sure you all do too, at least to some extent.
Anyway, this is it for me. I need to accept that I'm no longer interested in this site and it's time for me to retire. Do what you want with my characters, but don't do something I wouldn't.
Respect them, please.
And please, keep me with them. They are all a part of me, and I carry them with me everywhere.
I didn't want to go on my last active threads and say goodbye. I know this is selfish, but it really is too hard for me to do. And I'm really sorry for putting you all in the position of me being inactive when you needed me, I truly am. I feel absolutely horrible for it, which leads me to my next topic...
One of the reasons it has been so hard for me to be online over the last year or so is lack of interest and motivation. I've been suffering from depression for almost three years now, and honestly it's just been getting worse. So I truly apologize. Sometimes I wasn't here out of fear of hurting someone, or because my depression wouldn't let me do the things I like. College-level high school courses and extracurricular activities also play a role, but I feel like my depression is what really killed my muse many a time.
Also, like I said before, I've grown up a bit. Not that everyone on this site is immature or anything. But this site is a major part of my life that happened in the past, a big theme in the previous chapter of my life.
I'm a super clingy and emotional person, so I've been holding onto that chapter with my nails dug into its skin, tears eroding water gates and blood picking up speed.
All of my closest friends graduated, and I'm here with my last year of high school with them being anywhere from a 2-hour drive to all the way across the country from me. And I'm still having trouble with that as well, considering they're one of the main reasons I am still here today.
So I think an important step needed to move onward into the next chapter of my life is to recognize the past. And this is it. WCRPG is in my past now, and I need to pry my arms away and look towards the future.
Again, I am deeply sorry for any trouble I may have caused for being inactive. I'm not trying to get attention or pity or anything, but this is all something I feel needed to be said.
I'll still be getting online every once in a while, but only to chat with someone I wouldn't be able to talk to otherwise who I literally cannot bear to lose contact with. So if you message me, I will see it eventually and respond. But there's a 99.999999% chance of me not roleplaying again.
So that's it.
I wish the best of luck to all the roleplays I am leaving, and I send my love to any roleplay I have ever contributed to.
Bitter-sweet is my least favorite emotion. [/fancypost][/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; border-left:none; border-right:none; border-bottom:none; border-top:2px solid #F2473F; color:#4682B4; font-family:ms pmincho; font-size:19pt; text-transform:lowercase;]And for some reason I smell gas on my hands
This is not what I had planned[/fancypost]
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