Please! Don't hurt yourself! Life is beautiful, and God is always there for you. I'm not sure if you are a christian, but I turn to God with my problems. He really DOES help, and its nice to have a friend like him to talk to.
Other than God, I think it really does help to have people to talk to. This website is great for that, and you can talk to others without getting judged for what you look like, who you are, and what you talk like.
Please don't hurt yourself. Life can be scary, and no matter what you do to stop it- the world knocks you down, and I know how hard it can be to get back up. Every time you get back on your feet, something worse comes by and tosses you around like the wind!
But things will look up, I promise you that. I went through some weird stuff a few months ago- nothing as serious as you are in, it seems, but still some weird stuff. I talked to my mom about what was bothering me nearly every day, and things got better. It took a few months, but I'm better, and the stuff that bothered me isn't bad anymore.
And for a note to bullying- bullies are stupid. And usually, they are the people who have had a rough life too. I'm giving them NO sympathy for their crap, because its NOT cool whatsoever to hurt anyone, physically OR verbally. But, aside from that, they have something against you because they are either jealous of you or they think their cool. And they aren't. Their stupid, and mean, and should stop.
I agree with Mini nyxie that there ARE people who care. That member of WCRPG and I will always be here to talk to you when you need help. I'm usually on WCRPG on the weekends, and I can help you.
Please, I'm begging you- don't hurt yourself. Think about better things. And when that dumb bully comes around, hold your ground. If they are physically hurting you, yell out to get help. I'm sure other students who care will come around. Its nothing to be embarrassed about. Its serious, and the bully should get into trouble, if not get expelled.
And that boy that your crushing on? Trust me, if you guys aren't even friends, its a lot harder on you. I had a hUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGEe crush on this boy in middle school. Well, found out that he was a jerk and was consumed with the 'popular crowd.'
One more tip~
Find something to relax your mind, and help you focus and move on! You could even find a new hobby, or something you really like. Drawing, doodling, painting, doing yoga, running/jogging/taking walks, collecting stuff, listening to music- hey, even typing books! I find that these are great ways to focus your mind, and they help with stress. Plus, they're fun! Or pets- hanging out with your best furry friend can lift you up and make you feel a lot better. Even talking to your pet can help. I talk to my dog all the time. They're great listeners, and they're always there for a hug or two.
I'm sorry sorry you're going through this, but things WILL get better. I know things look bleak now, but light will shine in your life again, I promise.
I'm very glad you came to WCRPG for help... Please, think of how much you have to look forward to in life, and hey! Once you get past this stuff (And I know, it's like you will never get past this and it just hurts, but you can do it, I believe in you!), once you get past this stuff, you can help others get through their pains.
Its scary, I know, but there ARE people willing to help, and wanting to help. You can do this! You will get better. :)