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Name: Adina (means fragile) Stone
Age: she's 12 but always tells everyone she is 13
Gender: female
Looks: 
Personality: Adina is very outspoken in her opinions, she's used to surviving but while on the outside she's strong on the inside she isn't exactly what people expect. She's a bully especially to her brother because she believes it will help him become strong and able to survive on his own.
Class: Strength
Other/History: When she was little her parents abandoned her and her brother so for a time she was used to taking care of him but when her brother got caught up in a street fight trying to protect someone he hardly knew he was injured and for days it looked like he wasn't going to make it. She brought him to Starfall knowing it would be his only chance to survive.
Dorm Looks: Adina's room is completely black and built like a workout gym complete with a punching bag, a weight bench, a treadmill, and much more. But secretly covered at the top is a small window where at night she can see the stars and escape into her own world.
Name: Latif (means gentle, kind) Stone (his last name is registered as Jones so no one knows him and Adina are related)
Age: 10
Gender: male
Looks: 
Personality: Latif is generally quiet and shy but he's always looking out for others even at his own risk. He's gentle and kind in almost every circumstance.
Class: Mage
Other/History: Same as Adina's.
Dorm Looks: Latif's room is all white but is covered in drawings, whenever he has free time he draws on the walls. He has full length windows that have curtains but are barely covered because he loves sunlight to pour into the room.
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||øøƈ||.....I explained it to you twice... But okay one last time:
I give you three boring sentences and you have to make them more detailed.
Sentences:
The cat was afraid of mice.
My name is Rosemary.
Wilson jumped off the roof.
Then I gave you a picture: 
And you have to describe it to me.
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Name; Colton Trace
Age; 20
Weapons(Primary, Side, Meele); Primary: a crossbow that his dad had kept for hunting, Side: a small pistol Melee: a dagger
Gender; male
Apperance(Picture or Description is A-OKAY); 
Persona; Colton is normally a man of little words but the change in the world has changed him as well, he's strong, a music lover, and will protect who's close to him no matter what. He's a survivor.
Before the Virus; He was a very big gamer but loved to hang out with his friends and family. He had been going to college majoring in music and played electric guitar. He lived in a busy New York apartment which he obviously had to move from after the plague broke out.
Other; Strawberries and Cheesecake.
I was wondering if I could make one of the infected, if so:
Name; Rebecca (Becca) Trace
Age; 17
Weapons(Primary, Side, Meele); none, is infected
Gender; female
Apperance(Picture or Description is A-OKAY); [img width=510 height=413]http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/…ound-closeup-portrait.jpg[/img]
Persona; Becca is a bright smart girl who is always smiling, she is stubborn and a little hot tempered but she always means well.
Before the Virus; On a normal day Rebecca would normally be going to school and after that being outside, climbing trees or singing, she loves animals. Her life was pretty uneventful and she spent a lot of time with her brother, that is until the virus.
Other; Strawberries and Cheesecake.
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Name: Lynn Stillwater but everyone things it's Luke Stillwater because she's disguised as a boy
Years old: 16
Race: [Can be a mixture of any two of these; Human, Werewolf, Vampire, Elven] Half Elven half human
Looks:
Normal:
In Disguise: Her hair is tied back and hidden either under a hat or hood. Wears normal peasant boy clothes or armor.
Personality: Lynn is stubborn and very strong, she feels she can't make a difference as an elvin girl so often hides her ears and dresses as a boy so people don't look down on her.
Weapon of choice: Bow for long distance, short sword for short distance
Rank: (Specify which Kingdom please): Guard apprentice, for Emerald kingdom (since everyone would recognize her in her own)
Abilities: (Not over powering abilities please) Is a brilliant fighter and finds out later she has a knack for healing.
Other: Nope!
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||øøƈ|| Everyone can be a good writer but the point is you can always find ways to improve, if you don't want to do this anymore that's fine by me, I was just trying to help.
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||ıƈ|| "Just to have a small chat there's really no need for the weapons." Brianna's father spoke in a soothing convincing voice not one expected to be an enemy.
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||øøƈ|| First just give me an sample of your writing, about 3-5 sentences long so I can see what you need to work on most.
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||øøƈ|| He needs a name, can you guys help me come up with something?
||ıƈ|| Brianna's father slowly raised his arms, "Do I look like I would hurt you?" Then his soft blue eyes turned to Brianna, "You know I'm trustworthy, but if I must have proof..." He sighed then took a knife out of his pocket and laid it on the ground. A step backward later he smiled, "Is that enough? I laid down my weapon first, it's only fair if you would amuse me a little in a small conversation."
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||øøƈ|| Thanks, I guess I'll start rping.
||ıƈ|| Lynn had to try hard to put a boy's swagger into her steps as she walked and even though everyone hardly gave her a second glance she felt like they could see right through her disguise. Luckily, she was headed to the palace to sign up to be a guard's apprentice. Fighting was where she felt most at ease and Lynn knew she would fit right in. Sweat beaded Lynn's brow as she walked slowly to her destination until finally the palace was in sight and destiny awaited.
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||øøƈ|| Thanks for accepting me!
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~Adina~
Adina watched until the end from the sidelines, her lips turned up in a cold smile while her brain whirled with thoughts of escape. As her mind started to wander she thought about her brother; Latif and immediately silenced it. Her brother could fend for himself, it would teach him to be strong. But doubts played in the back of her head, his broken crippled form after the fight. The one that had forced them to come here.
~Latif~
Latif stirred slightly in his bed, he had a pounding headache as he slowly opened his eyes. The urge to draw was immense and he reached for the pencil on his bedside table but was surprised to realize he couldn't. Couldn't move his limbs. Couldn't control himself. He strained himself harder and sweat glistened on his forehead but he was frozen in place. Frozen for who knows how long.
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||øøƈ|| Sure, why not!
||ıƈ|| "Oh just this and that, it's not everyday you get to talk to famous criminals." The white of his teeth showed as he smiled his flawless smile. "I'm Brian."
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||øøƈ|| It was pretty good but here are a couple of picky things:
~smelt should be smelled
~you don't have to do this but it's a suggestion when you write thoughts italicize them so they are easy to pick out.
~in the last sentence it's eat rather then sleep.
But those are just simple edits, here's a challenge; write the same thing and try to write it better. There's almost always room to improve so see if you can pick up ways yourself.
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||ıƈ|| Colton looked down at the ruin before him, what was once a thriving city in New York now a place filled with destruction and chaos. He had finally decided to leave, the population of those infected now outnumbered what was left of the sane. The stakes were even higher and despite Colton's connection to the place there was nothing left for him but painful memories. Memories of his sweet sister being taken by the plague. Colton didn't know where he was headed now but he knew it was due west.
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||øøƈ|| See how much better that was?! To still assess you I'll give you a topic and you write about it, (this is to check if you can respond to anything), try to capture me attention. That's one of the main things in writing you want to hook the reader in and make them feel emotion.
Topic: A sunrise.
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I'll meet your characters in the next post.
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Ryder ran with a grace unmatched by a deer, his sprint was panicked but no one would be able to tell by his steady gait. He looked over his shoulder once and saw the familiar face of the hunter. She looked exactly like her brother, or did. He paused panting by a river, but he only heard silence and that sound he knew was the most dangerous of all.
Allison sprinted with her bow slung across her shoulder she may not have moved as fluently as Ryder but she was fast. Running with one goal in mind, revenge. She lost him as he weaved between trees but it was quite obvious where his destination would be; the river. A popular place for creatures like him. But Allison made her own path (literally) a short cut of sorts and there she would be waiting. The chance would be all hers and nothing was going to stop her.
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