Willowgaze was struck once again by his honesty. She found his markings both tragic and beautiful, but she wasn't sure what to say. His life was mapped out on his pelt. He could never hide from where he had come from. It seemed sad to her that, his boldness in sharing his scars with her, Ottertail seemed ashamed. An elder had once told her that those who are the most forward are those who trying to ease their own pain. She wasn't sure she had believed him until now.
Your first warrior name... You have so much to tell.
When he described her, she felt his words caress her pelt. She felt a tingle, like when a storm was rolling in and the impending lightning made her fur stand on end. What was this? She tried to brush the implications of emotion that she felt strangely lingering in her belly away. Her curiosity had to be getting the best of her once again.
Willowgaze wanted to offer him something in return. She wanted to give back something deeply personal to make him know she understood -- or at least could empathize -- with him.
Her eyes followed the half moon shapes on Ottertail's side over and over as she thought about what she was going to say. She didn't want to say it. She knew it would open a floodgate she had closed long ago. She took in a deep breath.
"My mother died." She said in a low voice. "I killed her." She winced as the words came out. "I mean, she died kitting me. I had a brother and sister, too, but I was stuck... Our Medicine Cat told me later that it was a matter of saving me, or losing all three of us." Her tail wrapped around her feet as she sat. "I guess it was too late for her already." The only thing she gave me was my name.
It had been so long since she offered that piece of herself to anyone. She felt better to ignore it and remember the queen who had nursed her and made sure she was strong and healthy. Honeystare had been nothing but the perfect fill-in mother to her, but she always knew that it just wasn't the same. Honeystare would never have said it, but her own kits always took precedence.
Her eyes lingered on her paws.