Posts by Skairipa#1899 (discord)

Okay lets try this again lmao

EDIT: gimmieyourkidneys okay here she is again haha, i wasn't sure about the rp post so i just left it?? I can totally go find a post if it's something u wanna see. i just wasn't sure since it's just a moderate thread tho haha

tiny boop

gimmieyourkidneys Okay I edited it in!! Hopefully it's good this time haha. The last couple months I've really developed my writing so I'm crossing my fingers lmao

A quick question tho, so yeah this an advanced thread so I'm just curious, in the even of low Muse what's like the minimum so I know what like, a threshold is?? If I get accepted that is haha

Gold and silver light spilled over the blonde as she walked in line with seven other men ahead of her. Today was the beginning of their training as part of the kings army. How she had ended up here, she wasn't entirely sure. She wasnt meant to fight on the front lines, and she was pretty certain that Couver would not approve. Unfortunately, Couver was gone, and the king had grown tired of her sitting around his palace. Was is possible that it could get colder the further they got inside the massive structure? She was chewing her lip as they emerged outside again, into the training hall where two captains were standing to meet them. She took in the men surrounding her and swallowed. She'd be seeing the healer after today.

Not for the first time today, Safira found herself knocked to her back into the cold snow. Okay, brute strength wasn't working. She wasn't the smallest Azgeda woman, but she wasn't as tall as most. She needed to be smarter about this. She came from nothing, lost her brother, her brothers best friend had abandoned her... she was alone. Nobody was calling this off. Best she could do was stop overthinking this and just feel the battle, her warriors blood pumping through her veins. Pushing herself to her feet, dusting herself off, she twirled the wooden sword in her hand and took a breath, shooting her opponent a challenging look. Her father had once been a Captain in these very halls, she knew many of the combat tactics that were being used here. Maybe it was time she made up some of her own.

As midday approached, the sun beating down on them, sweat glistening in her body, the warriors were tiring more quickly. By now, she'd bested two warriors, and her perceptive eyes had caught on the young prince watching from the doorway more than once as she locked blades with these warriors, born and bred for this. Her current opponent was determined to catch her off guard, break through her defenses. As he lunged forward again, she ducked beneath his blade and swept a leg out to catch his ankle, effectively knocking him to the snow where she pointed her sword at his chest. He was infuriated, she could see, but she didn't say anything, just backed off and went to go get a drink of water and take a break. The fact that she was here was not appealing to her, whatsoever. She got the feeling she was little more than their target practice.

There he was again, the younger prince, his brother at his side. She hadn't seen them around much, but then, they were royalty, she wasn't. Her head shot up when she heard her name called for a spar. Against... Hardin? Swallowing, she turned her eyes to the massive boy waiting for her. All six-foot-five of him. The look on the captains faces told her that there was no way she was getting out of this, so she ducked her head and approached the square marked out in the snow. Great, so not only would she be humiliated, she would be humiliated in front of the princes. A great day this was turning out to be. Her stance was solid, sword in hand, eyes watching for any tiny movement that the oversized male before her made. There, his left foot, then he attacked. Like a raging bull, he charged ferociously, but all Safira did was calmly step aside and smack his rump with the flat of her training sword. Her tactics were different than most Azgeda. She utilized her small size, her quicker, more nimble body and evaded her enemies as opposed to a head on attack.

Hardin's rage only grew the longer the fight went on. She continued to evade him. Her confidence was growing, she stood in a relaxed stance across the square from him. She could see him thinking. Good. Maybe he's not just a blind fighter like most of the idiots here. She didn't even see his next attack coming. He feigned right, and moved left and her icy eyes widened as his arm shot out and made contact with her chest, knocking her flat on her back with an explosive gasp. The female didn't move for a few moments as she caught her breath, coughing as oxygen fought it's way into her lungs. The young woman forced herself to roll over, then slowly pushed herself onto her hands and knees, breathing shallow. She wasn't giving up, however. She could beat this guy, she knew she could. She nearly had. Only now, her sword lay broken on the ground. Great. Taking on a bear sized male with only her fists and no weapon, yeah, simple right? Her body protested with every move she made to avoid taking another hit like the one she just had. Her chest and lungs burned, mind working on overtime to find her a way to beat this monster of a man chasing her.

A weakness, he had to have a weakness. She ignored his taunting. She was better than that, she knew that much. He was just a jerk who enjoyed seeing people suffer, he was too cocky for his own good. Maybe she could use that. Before he could attack again, Safira straightened and looked right into his jade green eyes."Hey Hardin, do your pals know that your little sister beat you up last week because you brought one of your girls into her bed? What did you tell everyone else? That you saved a little girl from some creep? You know, a dishonest warrior is a foolish one." Hardin blinked, stunned to silence for only a moment before he charged at her again with a roar. She fought the instinct to laugh. Too easy. When she slipped behind him she kicked the back of his left knee, which he'd been favoring all morning, and then when he was down, drove her knee right to his chin, putting him on the ground, unmoving.

While her approach was unconventional, she had won the fight, using the warriors weaknesses against him. It wasn't too hard. Hardin was far too proud, he painted a big, neon target on himself by flaunting his muscles and skills. He thought he was charming, she just thought he was disgusting, a predator looking for another innocent girl to devour. Safira was no stranger to guys like him. She'd been approached many times by numerous guys who thought they could handle her. She didn't want to be handled, she wanted to be loved, wanted. She didn't appreciate these brutes making her out to be an object to be won. No, her affections were earned, they would have to put on one heck of a show if she expected her to bat an eye in their direction.

Stars this man did things to her she never could have imagined. Quiet chuckles erupted from her throat as his fingers left fiery trails up her arms and pulled her down to him. He tasted just as divine as the first time she tasted his lips. It was hard to believe that all of this had started in that cave, that was fate, not coincidence. She wouldn't have had it any other way. She was here, in his arms, for a reason. Like Safira had said, they were destined for greater things. Maybe she was right, maybe their love could unite the clans, that love was not defined by clan or lack thereof. They were proof of this. Her mother had been Trikru, her father had been Azgeda. Now she was here with the Azgeda prince, falling in love over and over and over again with him, with his smirks, his teasing, his cocky smiles, the affectionate sparkling in his dark eyes. Those eyes that she could get lost in. She would willingly walk into his shadows and stay there with him. She already had, and she would do it again and again if it meant she could save him like he did to her.

She let him set a slow, passionate pace. This was different from the last time they'd come together like this. Last time there had so much spent uo aggression, anger, bottled up emotions. Now there was only love, their affection for each other. There was no king, no guards, no impending doom, just them and their fiery passion. Even when she tried to push him away, he kept coming back to her, he kept chasing her, even with the threat of his life. He never gave up on her. He could have. He could have left her to die, he could have turned around and done the same thing that Acher would have done, he could have left her in that cell, at his brothers' mercy, but he hadn't. He'd put his life on the line to save her, protect her. These moments spent in this little shelter could be some of the last they had alone for a while. She wanted to make it memorable. Once they reached Polis, they couldn't be this. If anyone else found out, if Caspian found out, there would be fatal consequences.

Her hands slipped under his shirt, feeling his toned stomach, smiling against his lips. "Ai hod yu in, mochof, Otan," she murmured as he sat up and she helped him tug his shirt off. She just wanted to feel him again, wash away the memory of Acher's tainted hands on her. Reaching back, she pulled her hair out of the half-braided style, letting the curls fall around her face. She grasped his hand then and guided it to the still healing marks of his on her chest. "Yours. Always."

I will try and get a post up tonight or tomorrow!!

A grin parted her lips as she gazed up at the man who addressed her. She couldn't help but feel a bit giddy with excitement that he took the time to come over and talk to her. A blush dusted her already flushed cheeks as she glanced down and brushed some blonde hair from her eyes. She'd been watching him from the distance his father put between them. He'd grown into a fine young man. Handsome, charming, he still had that impish sparkle in his brown and blue eyes. "And you as well, your Highness," she teased, chuckling a little as she met his eyes. Those eyes had captivated her since the moment he had brought her into the palace and saved her life. She sometimes wished he would have made more of an effort to maintain their relationship. She could understand, however. At that time, they had only been children, fourteen and fifteen years. She couldn't expect an energetic boy like him to want to sit still. Then there was his father to consider. That man terrified her to no end. She would hate to be trapped in a room with the Azgeda king.

She tilted her head at his inquiry. Was he really that surprised? Was it because he didn't think she was good enough, or because she was a girl? She could have made a smart comment to that, tease him, but she elected not to, and just shrugged, tipping her head back to down the half-empty cup of water in her hand. "To be honest with you, I'm not entirely sure myself. I... mostly just feel like I'm the Guinea pig here, target practice. I dunno that I'm warrior material..." she mumbled shyly, glancing down at her fur-covered boots. Safira wasn't the type of person who usually ended up here. She had no formal training outside of her father. Sure, the woman who had nursed her back to health had taught her quite a bit, but she didn't realize it had caught the kings eye. All she did was beat up some of the less- than-savory warriors who tried to pick on her former neighbors. Was that really worth noticing?

As the day went on, she got more adjusted into the fights, proving herself again and again. That is, until the last spar of the day. She was facing off one of the most skilled warriors in the group. He wasn't large, only a few inches taller than she was, nor was he bulky. He was lithe, reminding the blonde if a panther. As they circled, training weapons poised, sizing each other up, each watching the others movements with keen eyes. He attacked first, going right for her weak spot in her right wrist. She'd broken it as a child messing around with her brother. The sudden strain put on her weaker hand caused her to wince, struggling to hold him back as she lifted a foot to drive it into his knee. He was expecting that, somehow, and blocked it.

They remained locked in battle for quite a while, both seemingly evenly matched, but to an experienced warrior, anyone could see that he was merely toying with her. He began pushing an offensive stance, and Safira took a few hits to her sides. Then he would dance away from her in an almost dare to come at him. She was getting frustrated that she couldn't land a hit on him. Every swing of her sword, he dodged and struck her again. She knew she was losing her grip on this fight, making mistakes, but she kept fighting, even when he grabbed her wrist in her attempt to hit him and he smacked her wrist, disarming her. The next hit came to her ribs, then he jabbed his elbow to her mouth, knocking her to the snow.

Landing with a grunt, the blonde lied there for a few minutes, catching her breath before rolling onto her stomach and starting to get to her hands and knees. She didn't get the chance to stand up as a boot smashed into her side and knocked her right back to the ground. She was already down. The fight was over. "I didn't hear you yield, w*nch," Safira recieved another kick to her ribs, and when she was allowed to stumbled to her feet, he dropped the wooden sword and smashed a fist to her jaw, spinning her a one-eighty before she tumbled to the snow again. Stars flickered in her vision as a groan left her bloody lips, body aching, lungs burning for the oxygen was knocked from her body. She didn't move, and the other males snickered before dispersing as training was dismissed. Coughing, blood dripping from her lips, the blonde managed to slowly push herself to her hands and knees, just sitting back, an arm wrapped around her aching ribs. She spat blood into the glistening whiteness beside her and gazed down at her hand setting limply in her lap.

That was probably the most humiliating thing she'd ever experienced. Tears burned her eyes, the salty droplets burning the open scrapes on her cheek. Her free hand moved to clutch the silver pendant around her neck. Her brother had made it for her. The leather cord was attached to a small, rectangular piece of metal that had a bird forged into it. He'd always said that if she ever felt alone, look to the brids, and feel his spirit with her. Sniffing, she released a shaky breath and squeezed her hand around the cool metal pendant. She'd never forget him, but oh how she missed his encouraging words, and his hugs. She always loved her brothers hugs. Sitting here in the snow, alone, only reminded her of how alone she truly felt. She had no one to defend her honor like Couver had. She didn't expect Aedric to, he was a prince. He didn't have time to be saving damsels in distress, and even then, she didn't want to be considered a damsel..she wanted to take care of herself. With the warriors here, their skills... she was beginning to wonder if that was even possible.

Bella Quinn|16|Transfer Initiate|Amity

Ghost's words only seemed to cut deeper than he intended. Friends were overrated? She doubted that. Her friends and what little family she'd had in Amity were what prompted her to survive, to push forward and thrive on her own terms. Ben, Griz... while they didn't know what she'd been going through under her father's hand, they inadvertently gave her a reason to keep living, make her own path. That's what had led her to Dauntless in the first place. Many people disregarded her as the shy wallflower who didn't have the guts to stand up for herself, and while maybe they were right, the longer the redhead remained here, the more angry she felt at being treated this way when they were all on the same side. They all wanted to survive, make it to the next level. She supposed she couldn't blame the others for wanting to come out on top, she had no desire to end up Factionless either. Her Amity-conditioned mind pulled her towards making friends and allies, but the logical part was warring within her, telling her that there were no allies here, not now, not until she proved herself worthy of the Dauntless flame.

The dark-haired male's question seemed to catch her off-guard. What was that supposed to mean? A dog in the middle of the road was completely different than standing up for an initiate. Wasn't it? The instinct inside her knew she would stop the car and help the poor creature to safety, maybe even find its owner. She was quiet as he continued and explained his position, slowly making sense of her confusion. She hadn't meant to offend him, he just came off as cold and jaded, while she was sure he was both, she hadn't spent enough time with him to really make a proper deduction on his character. She was usually great at determining who people were, but he was a mystery, he shrouded his intentions well, he was one of the few people she couldn't get a read on and she found that both alarming and intriguing. She'd noticed how he watched Charlie walk away, and curiosity had pricked at her. Was there something going on there? He seemed somewhat... concerned? She wouldn't quite say upset, but then, his facial expressions were hard to decipher. Eventually she just tucked her curiosities away for another time.

She'd been distracted trying to catch Maverick's eyes, brain running like a jackrabbit over yesterday's events and everything he'd shared, she nearly forgot that Ghost was still talking. A blush darkened her cheeks as she tore her gaze away from Maverick and avoided the mans intellectual gaze in front of her. She was trying to hide it, hide getting caught with a longing gaze at the tall instructor. Well that was stupid, staring at Maverick when Ghost is sitting RIGHT HERE, swallowing, teeth grazing over her bottom lip, she considered his question with panic rising in her chest. What did he expect her to say? What did he want her to say? Was there a right answer, how did she even reply to a question like that without offending him further? "I-I... um..." she stuttered at first, heart pounding like a hammer to an anvil. She almost burst with joy when Maverick approached and clamped a firm hand on the smaller man's shoulder. That nickname, she sensed, would grant a sour reaction, from the change of expression on Ghost's face.

She offered a small, shy smile up at the dirty blond instructor, hoping he would see the apology in her eyes. The smile he gave her in response, though, cracked her momentary confidence and her smile fell as confusion wrote its story over her expression. I'm sorry... I do care... I couldn't get you off my mind all night, please understand... I just panicked... no guys have ever pursued me like this... she wished she had the courage to speak those words to him. Maybe... maybe she should go talk to him after simulations today? She hadn't ever encountered someone else who had endured what she had, she wasn't entirely sure how to process that someone else might actually understand her pain. She needed him to know that. If she could just gather up her courage... "Can I talk to you... after the sims..." The words flew from her mouth before she could stop them, and the panic that ensued when she realized sent her eyes widening to the size of half-dollar coins and her heart plummeting to her feet like she'd just been dumped in a frozen lake. Ghost was right there. He was probably wondering, no, probably knew what exactly was going on here. Part of her hoped he was just oblivious and let it slide. She wasn't meaning for anything to happen, really. The small girl wished she could become even smaller as the shocked expressions of both males fixed on her. THAT WAS SO STUPID, yes, she was aware.

Interaction: Maverick jacksonwhittmore Ghost Flyers

Mentions: Ben, Charlie

That's fair! haha would you like me to start??

Her head tipped back as he lavished her with affection, quiet moans escaping her lips as her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. Every touch drew her deeper and deeper into a beautiful fantasy where they could dwell, safe, together. The emotions that fogged the tent were intoxicating like the finest of wine, she wanted to drink it all in. She wanted to fall deeper into every sensation, kiss and whispered word of seduction and affection that left his lips. She was his, they'd claimed each other souls, and she would gladly give in to him over and over again. With every murmured love, every layer of clothing removed, her passion for him only grew, it felt just as perfect as it had the first time. Their situation wasn't perfect, but he was to her, he was her focus.

Time was irrelevant for the two lovers. Energy spent, she stayed draped on his chest, her head rested beside his against his shoulder, nose brushing against his jaw, a hand draped over the other side of his neck. Her body was relaxed, despite the earlier pain in her wounds, she was peace, here with him. A smile tugged at her lips as she began to wake, registering the warm body beneath her. Her fingers lightly scratched at his hair as he brushed away hers, sleepy giggles leaving her lips as the prince claimed them in a few lazy, sleepy kisses. She wished they could wake up beside each other like this every morning, but every time they came together, they were pulled even further apart by an outside force.

His words drifted into her mind like a ribbon in murky waters as her tired body slowly pulled itself out of that sleep-ridden wonderland. Humming softly, she smiled again as his lips showered her skin with more kisses and affection. That smile faded a little as she listened to him, however and she lifted her head a bit. They couldn't be seen together... at all? What was the big deal if they arrived together? She winced as she shifted atop him to fold her arms over his chest, resting her chin on them so she could meet his eyes. "Is it really that big of a deal if we arrive together? When will you be there? I... I don't want to be away from you, again..." her eyes drifted away from his as her fingers lightly traced the scars she'd left on him. She wished so dearly that there was somewhere they could go where they could be safe, where they could just be together without death looming over them. "I don't want his protection... I just want you, Otan... why does it seem like every time we finally have a moment to just be us, it gets snatched away, I'm tired of these... games... isn't there somewhere, anywhere else we could go where we won't be alone..." she bit her lip as her eyes remained fixed on her fingers movements over his skin. There was a reason why Caspain was Heda. He was every bit as powerful as Aedric, if not more, and possibly even more dangerous. If he found out, they wouldn't just he betraying him, they'd betray every clan and he would make sure they knew it.

His sister intrigued the blonde at his side. She was so confident, she reminded her a little of Cass, actually. The Indian beauty had boatloads of confidence that Bella lacked. That was probably why they became such good friends. She encouraged Bella to push her limits. The blonde woman probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for her best friend. She still remembered the first time they'd interacted on her first day at the cafe. Cass had legitimately been concerned that the small blonde couldn't talk. Bella had always been shy, and Cass helped bring her out of her shell a little, as did the tall Australian beside her. The past couple weeks had been almost magical, everything she'd ever dreamed to have in a guy and here he was. Admittedly, she could sense some hesitance in him every time they had the chance to just sit and talk like normal people. She'd always assumed he was just adjusting to being in a committed relationship, but maybe there was something else... he hadn't really shared much about his love life aside that she knew he had countless hookups. That kind of knowledge made her wonder if he had gotten bored of her yet and ran off with some other girl who would give him the physical satisfaction he wanted.

As Ashley flounced away, Bella turned her eyes to her date, feeling the blush growing across her cheeks at his bright smile. The effect this man had on her was unlike anything she'd ever felt. The butterflies that set her heart aflutter, like she was the only girl in the room, like that smile only belonged to her. He had a way with women, she would admit. He always seemed to know exactly what to say or do to make her melt. Whether it was making out in the bathroom before a gig or cuddling on the couch, she had to believe that there was something else here. Why else would a playboy like him stick around for as long as he had?

The blonde discarded her doubts as she followed him, hand clutched in his. Tonight was about him, seeing a sneak peek into his world. So far, she was impressed, but the amount of input from the orchestra and the people socializing and just the crowded room in general, was starting to get to her. She didn't say anything, however, and took his offered drink, taking a sip. She paused a moment and smiled. "Wow... this is um... really good champagne." It wasn't her first time having champagne, but she obviously couldn't afford the fancy stuff. This was far from fancy, beyond it, in fact. She smiled up at him behind those dark lashes and shroud of blonde hair that hung in ringlets around her almost angelic face. "I um... admit that this is definitely not my forte... I've never been one for large crowds..." she mumbled, glancing down the glass in her hand, then at the people around them. She'd always been the one to go hide in a box whenever there was a large group gathering involved, but somehow, with Oliver, it made things a little better.

Sage could feel the life inside her ebbing. No... she couldn't lose this child. Tears pricking at her eyes, she followed his massive red form through the halls, stopping at the keypad, then glancing at the key card in her hand. Swallowing back a groan, she swiped the card with a shaky hand, a exhausted smile touching her lips as she heard the door click and she pushed it open with a grunt. They needed to get back. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost this child. How they even knew was beyond her. Nobody else knew, nobody that was connected to hunters. Did they have some kind of device, technology that told them that while she was unconscious?

Once they were outside, she paused to lean on the outside wall, whimpering as her stomach cramped painfully, like knives being stabbed into her repeatedly. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out. Her hand brushed over his fur with a soft smile. "Are you strong enough to carry me? I... I won't make it back on my own," she admitted quietly. Adrian's direwolf form was massive, he should be large enough to carry her back to camp on his broad back. If they didn't figure out something soon, she'd lose the child that was growing inside her. Keep fighting, little one, she pleaded silently, clutching at her stomach with a grimace on her face. Her and Adrian finally had a chance at happiness with this child, she couldn't lose it, lose this life, this hope. Her child would give her pack hope, and it would give her hope as well. Hope that things would be okay, that she didn't have to be looking over her shoulder, that she could have a future. This time, though, this was something she couldn't fight. She couldn't see the threat, it was internal, and that scared her ten times over.

Thorn had been about to leave, head hanging low in defeat, when he heard the door open and his head snapped around to gaze upon the woman he loved. Ears pricked and tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, he bounded to her, whining softly as her arms wrapped around his furry body, her face buried in his neck. He nuzzled her hair, breathing in her scent again, eyes shining. He had missed her, missed smelling her wildflower scent, feeling her curl around him. He sat down with her after a moment and curled his fluffy tail over her legs, sitting alert now, letting her hang onto him as long as she needed. He had crossed so many paths to come back to her. He would gladly do it again if it meant looking upon her beautiful face again. He turned his head and lapped at her cheek, tail thumping softly against the wooden surface beneath them.

The wolf sat quietly in the living room while she went to retrieve clothes for him. Though, a part of him wanted nothing more than to lay her out on the couch, against the wall, anywhere, and make known just how sorry he was, how much he truly loved this woman. He came back from changing, smoothing the tshirt he'd been given. His expression, despite the small, soft smile, was hesitant, almost fearful as he stood a few steps away from her. He didn't want to hurt her again. It would break him if she pushed him away again. He didn't move as he began to speak, eyes fixed on the floor in shame. "Lily, I... I'm so sorry for everything. You didn't deserve to be blindsided like that, or see... any of that. I... I should have told you what he'd done to me, I should have fought, protected you and I... i froze and... i failed you... i failed Rhys. I understand if... if you'd rather i just leave... i wouldn't blame you either..." Tears pricked at his eyes, his voice wavered as he spoke, not looking at her for fear of the disappointment he'd see there. He'd failed her on a massive scale. He didn't expect anything from her, just for her to listen.

Omg I'm sorry for ur loss Nerdy. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

Ooc: Okay!! Might find a fancy later but idk, I mainly use my phone haha

Ic: It had been approximately twelve rotations since her escape of Raxus. The not-so-secret Jedi had caught a ride and stowed away on a transport ship en route to Kessel. Kessel was the last place she should be going, she knew. The place simply crawled with bounty hunters and mercenaries, but she had a feeling she's fit right in. She had the assassin kind of look with her black, hooded jacket, navy blue tank, dark red pants and black boots. Her lightsaber was properly tucked on the inside of her jacket, hidden from any outside eyes. She had one mission now that the Empire had caught her scent. Survive. Don't fight, survive. Run. She was good at that. She watched her mentor die after all, her best friend, she'd lost most everyone she cared about, and instead of fighting back to avenge them, she ducked her head and disappeared like a coward. Fine, if people wanted to hunt her down, go right ahead. They would need one heck of a tracked to find her.

When they arrived on Kessel, she slipped out of the cargo hold before anyone noticed she was even there, and slid into the crowd like a Wraith, pulling her hood over her braided hair. Camrjan was no stranger to being on the run. By now it was like second nature. She was good at it. She knew what to look for, how to act, how to slip in and out of the shadows as if she were a part of them. Any hunters who dared to challenge her skills would be in for quite a ride. While she would rather not fight, she would defend herself to the death if she had to.

Ducking her head, her sapphire eyes watched a few Pyke's as they slinked by, their beady eyes burning holes in her, but they didn't stop. She wouldn't be the first person to come through here on a stop to find a better life. The lean female slipped into a tavern, plopping down on a stool at the counter, shifting her bag into her lap as she ordered a simple spiran caf (spiked coffee), taking a long swig as her eyes took in her surroundings. The place was pretty full. She could feel eyes on her, but everywhere she looked, others were preoccupied with their own conversations, or busy looking at other targets on the monitor. So why did she feel so uneasy?

She didn't even finish her drink before she laid a few credits on the counter and slipped out, moving purposefully down the street towards a more populated area. She still felt her senses on edge, setting her on high alert, but when she made the mistake of turning to look over her shoulder, she saw no one. What was going on? Was her connection with the Force really that weak that she was now becoming paranoid? Impossible. Something was very wrong here. Turning away again, she slipped into an alley and pushed her hood to her shoulders, running a hand over her hair to push loose strands from her eyes. Ever since Raxus, she'd barely slept. Maybe she was just imagining things, the chances if someone following her here were slim. Surely the Empire didn't care enough about one rogue Jedi to utilize a planet full of liars, cheaters and mercenaries, would they?

Crimsonwolf Yeah! They prolly wont actually talk til after the training but yeah! Go right ahead! :)

She hated that he was right, that all of his points were valid. But how long was this supposed to last? Did he expect her to just roll over and accept these terms, be separated from him for who knows how long and by that time, another man might have set their eyes on her. She knew Caspian did. How long did Otan think she could wait, play this game with the Heda's mind? Surely he realized that Caspian was no fool. It wasn't a matter of if, but when he found out about the forbidden relationship between the Azgeda prince and the Trikru warrior. If she went to Caspian for protection, how far would he take that? They both disliked each other, and Caspian was a man of honor, he cared for River, she had no doubt that he'd go as far as to kill Otan if he had to, if he ever got the sense that he was threatening her. She wouldn't be able to stop it without revealing her feelings. It didn't seem like the man beneath her realized what kind of position he was putting her in.

She just watched him for a moment before she rolled off of him and sat up, pulling on her torn shirt, followed by the rest of her clothes, slowly, as her back was now growing stiff as the wounds healed. She didn't say much to him for a bit, even when she finished dressing and sat there, partially covered in furs still, her eyes were fixed on her hands in her lap. "I just... finally found something that's worth surviving for... and you want me to walk into a place that could compromise... all of it. And you just expect me to be okay with it? Do you even realize what you're asking me to do?" Her blue eyes met his for a moment, seeing his confusion at her frustration. He didn't understand, of course he didn't. She wouldn't expect him too.

He could parade around with his secrets of her all the live long day but River... River had to seek out protection from a man who desired her just as much as the prince did. She couldn't do anything about it if feelings got involved because if she ever said no to the Heda, her facade would crack and he would realize her feelings for another. It was no secret that the Azgeda prince had taken a certain... liking to her during the gladiator fights. She doubt it would take long for him to put the pieces together and when that happened, death would follow... again. She just wanted to make a break from this life. Anytime she tried, she was pulled right back in. They had a chance to run away, to disappear, and Otan wanted to run right back into danger like it was no big deal. By going to Polis he wasn't just putting his life on the line, he was risking hers. More than that, he would risk their relationship for these stupid clans, these stupid wars, it wasn't fair. All she'd ever wanted was to feel meaning in life, she had a shred of that with him, and now he was asking her to throw it all away to be an ambassador to a Heda who hated him.

smol bump??? ☺️

His fists clenched at his sides. She just didn't understand. He couldn't just let it go. He couldn't just move on and forget about the trauma he'd been through. He couldn't just drop the walls he'd erected and spill every detail to her. It wasn't that simple. It was messy, and dark and some of the things he'd been through, he had no desire for her to know. There were some things she would never know, and she needed to understand that some things, some secrets, were his to bear alone. The trauma Fenris had put him through... it wasn't easy to talk about, it reopened old wounds and while he was confident in her love for him, he wasn't sure she would stay if she knew every detail. He'd seen, experienced, done horrible things in his relatively young life. Some of those experiences were best left in the past. Digging it all up would do neither of them any good, she had to realize he was trying to move on, but he couldn't if she kept pushing this. She did have a right to know some, but he also a right to keep his pain to himself. She deserved to know the truth, but some truths were better kept hidden.

He stepped forward, slowly, hesitantly, putting his hands, ever so gently, on her shoulders. After a moment, a hand lightly trailed up her neck and brushed her hair from her face, tipping her head back to meet his own tear-filled gaze. "I'm not leaving again... not unless you ask... but Lily... I'm going to be honest with you, there are some things I won't tell you about my past. I... confess that I should have told you some, she'd some light on what Fenris told you... you shouldn't have found out like you did. But... I need you to understand that my trauma runs back to my childhood, alright? I won't tell you every detail, and there are some things I won't tell you at all because I'm trying to protect you, Lily. Some of this pain needs to remain buried, in the past. Some of it I need to bear alone." He bit his lip before slowly pulling her against his chest, hugging her gently, but firmly, tucking his face into her neck, breathing in her sweet scent. "I love you, Flower... I need you to trust me... i need you to believe that I'm only protecting you."

After a bit of silence, he left her to go sit on the couch, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, hands dangling between his legs and eyes downcast. He took in a slow breath as he began. "My parents were killed when I was pretty young. My father was... he was human, a farmer, my mother was from a pack far up North. She was in an arranged relationship with another male. He was horrible to her. She met my father one night when she was out on a midnight run. One thing led to another and they had me. She had run away when she found out she was pregnant... her former pack found us when I was only a few years old." He clasped his hands together as his jaw clenched, doing his best to keep his voice steady. "They killed my father first... then they did unspeakable things to my mother... before they ended her life beside him. I watched it all from the kitchen closet... I hid. And when they were done, they burned the house down, I almost died. I wandered, after that. I was alone, becoming a bit of a rogue until I was caught trying to steal food from the healers cabin here." He smirked a little up at her. He remembered seeing her sleeping form that night. He'd been only a boy then, but he'd still thought she was the most beautiful and innocent creature he'd ever seen. "The Alpha back then was Rhyss, Sage and Fenris' father. He took me in, gave me a home, a family. Fenris took a... fancy... to me pretty quickly. I became a target. At that age... I didn't know that what he was doing was... wrong... it didn't feel good, or spark any feelings, but I didn't struggle much... maybe I should've... but... his voice, it could seduce even the most hardened of warriors. It's just how he is. I was vulnerable, he took advantage of that, more than once and I was helpless to stop it." He bit his lip, looking down at his hands again, shame once again entering his features. "The things that happened while Fenris was Alpha... I'm not proud of... I could have stopped them, I should have... but your life was on the line, Lily. Fenris would threaten to come here and make me watch as he did the same to you over and over and over again until you fell dead at his feet. I... I didn't know what else to do... I just wanted to survive, get back to you. That was the only way I coped. Thinking of you, the guilt... I would have done anything to stop of if I had the chance but... being subjected to that for as long as I had been Lily... you have no idea how hard it is to break that cycle, break that control someone like him has on your mind. Before I met you... I had no sense of identity. You gave me back a piece of me that I'd thought I'd lost, you made me feel something. I... I just wanted to survive to see you again... I know that's no excuse, though... I wish I could change it... but I can't." The dark-haired male swallowed hard, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "But I can move on... I'd like to move on, start over... with you, if you'll have me..."

River was silent as he helped her onto her horse after packing up camp. She had no idea how to answer that. It was this moment, watching him quietly, that she realized how little they actually knew about each other. They'd spent more than one intimate nights tangled in each other, left their marks on each other, but as for really knowing each other, she found that knowledge was lacking. She bit her lip as they began their ride again, cursing herself for feeling pressure building behind her eyes. Why was she so against going back to Polis? Because with Otan, she could be herself. She was free, her life had meaning, she could let her guard down. When they got back, she'd have to act like she hated him, they'd have to push each other away in favor of surviving. She didn't want to compromise herself again, her life would be empty. She'd have to slip back into old habits, only this time she'd be hiding, from Aedric, from her clan, from her family... they wouldn't want her back after she lost in that arena.

Her raging emotions sent a tear sliding down her cheeks and she kicked the steed below her into a canter, leaving Otan behind until he cried out to her and caught up, pulling on the horse's bridle himself. "I don't know, Otan, and that terrifies me! But at least out here we know we have each other. We have a chance. By walking back into Polis we're risking all of it all over again after we just escaped from you father! That's just... that's insane... we keep putting ourselves through this and I... i don't know how much more of this i can take... i just... i just want to be free... i just want out of that life..." Her hands clenched in her lap, eyes fixed on the neck of the horse below her. "If we go back, I'll be nobody. My family won't take me back after I disgraced them through the loss in that arena. I'll only be a source of humiliation, and as for Caspian... how am I supposed to just walk right in there and beg at his feet, huh? You know he fancies me, if he ever pursues me, how am I supposed to tell him off? He's not an idiot, Otan, he'll figure it out, and then we'll die. How... how can you ask me to pretend that what we have doesn't exist?" Her eyes met his now as tears began to trail down her cheeks.

As she searched his gaze, she thought about what exactly she could tell him. He already knew her father died, her brother died, that her family was much like his... to be fair, they hadn't had much time to actually sit down and talk. Their ideals aligned, mostly. She seemed more terrified of this situation than he did. She wondered why. How was he so okay with risking everything all over again after they barely got out last time? If they went through with this, she would follow him, but what assurance could he give her that this would have a different outcome, that they would prevail, that he would stick with her. If they went through with this... for how long would she have to pretend? Weeks, months, years? She knew she would break long before then, her heart ached at even the thought of being separated from him for that long. "Tell me this is real... that we're real... that we'll make it, somehow... after everything we've survived, how can you assure me that I'm not going to lose you when all is said and done," Her voice was nearly a whisper as she gaze into his eyes. She was afraid, terrified of what was to come. She was willing to fight, but her time in the Azgeda kings clutches had nearly broken her. He had been the only thing that kept her going, that gave her a reason to keep fighting, keep living. He said he would fight for her, but how could he do that when they were walking right into a den of serpents who would strike at the first sign of hesitation.

All she'd ever wanted was to feel like she belonged, that she was more than just a brainless warrior. She always felt like an outcast in her own family, simply for being born a girl. Her mother hated her because of her father's traits in her. River had always strived to be better, live with honor, justice, like her father had. If she ran away with Otan... was she breaking that? Would her father still be proud of her? Chewing her lip, her eyes were fixed on their entwined fingers. He was giving her a way out. He was right, she didn't want to put at Caspian's mercy when she couldn't deny any feelings, of which she did not have, for the Heda for fear of getting Otan killed. He was no fool, she'd hate to see what his wrath looked like.

Even so, her father's memory lived on in her. He was counting on her to carry on his legacy, to make him proud. Reluctantly, she nodded a little, looking away from him as her jaw clenched. "If you feel the need to do this, then fine. I'll play your stupid little game," she snapped and touched her heels to the horse's flank, starting off again. She shouldn't have snapped like that, she knew, she couldn't help it. She was trying to get away from that life and at every turn it seemed like the universe kept steering her back into the cycle of violence. Was this all she was good for? Being fake, vicious, vengeful, brutal... a killer... she didn't want that anymore. Didn't he see that if they went back, that was the expectation that would he set for both of them? Not to mention... they'd be separate.

She rode silently until they stopped for the night again. She barely spoke then either, her back to him as she lied there, but she didn't sleep. Her heart was only growing in anxiety the closer they neared Polis. They'd reach the Heda's seat of power by midday. They'd decided on a plan, and she wasn't on board with it, but she'd follow him, because she wanted to try and support him. When they reached the point in their journey to part ways, her jaw clenched as she stared down at her hands, fighting the tears that welled in her eyes. "Ai hod yu in, leidon. Ste yuj," Then she urged her horse into a canter and didn't stop until she reached the Polis courtyard where her horse was stopped and she slid off into a guards arms, where he shoved her against a wall. She cried out as pain shot up her back, and told them she needed to talk to the Heda.

A few moments later she was being shoved before Caspian, who was in a more casual look today. Absent was the face paint and heavy cloaks. He looked less like a Commander, more like a regular guy. Surprisingly handsome too, she mused. He gave her a curious look and glanced at his guards to leave them. "What are you doing here, River? What happened? You... you look like you've been through hell..." he said, letting his guard down as soon as the warriors left, gathering her to her feet as he looked her over. She lightly pushed him away, swallowing. He wasn't that far off with his deduction. "I managed to escape, seduced a guard, stole his key... I've been riding for the last two days, king Aedric's warriors are after me please... I... i need help. I can't go back to my own clan. You're my last hope, Heda... Caspian..." The tall man seemed to puff up a bit in pride at her words. This was everything he ever wanted. As his dark eyes gazed down at her, his hands on her shoulders, he nodded slowly. "Of course you can stay. If you'd like I can provide for you your own chambers next to mine. I'd rather you stay with me but... I don't want to make things uncomfortable, not to mention it wouldn't be... proper." He chuckled a little, rubbing the back of his neck and River could have sworn he looked a little... uncomfortable? Awkward? She wasn't expecting that from the guy who had the balls to bring Otan to his knees in front of the whole Council.

A few hours later, River was cleaned up, braiding her hair carefully, in clean clothes, when she heard yelling outside. Otan. She rushed to the balcony and looked down into the courtyard, spotting his unmistakable broad shoulders and dark hair and hearing his booming voice demanding entrance. She missed him already. Pushing her long sleeves to her elbows, she jogged to the throne room where Caspian was waiting, in full armor again, awaiting the arrival of the Azgeda prince. When he entered, River was nearly a puddle on the floor. He looked like he'd made some effort to make himself look presentable at least and before Caspian turned around, she offered him a small smile and slight nod. The Heda turned to gaze upon him, the cloaks sweeping like a shadow behind him. "I know your father enjoys taunting me but even I wasn't expecting this. Rito was a good man, even I could see that. What hope do you have of filling his shoes that doesn't involve drawing the other clans into a war, Your Highness." The tone in the tall Commanders voice was clearly mocking the prince as he sank into his throne with an almost bored expression. He had to admit, sometimes his job really sucked. Sometimes he just wanted to be normal and not have this cursed Nightblood coursing through his veins.