Posts by FLAXENSUN

“Apprentices shouldn’t be out on their own" Flaxenpaw would say crossly, coming up behind the two girls. He’d look between the two, his gaze resting on Russet’s broken smile, and he’d snort, “Lucky for you two three should be enough to keep us from getting into trouble" He thought Russetpaw and Pumpkin were both foolish for letting Sorrel get under their skin. I mean, have neither of them been in trouble before? It really wasn’t THAT bad. Though of course the reason for getting into trouble really sucked. Why’d they have to get punished when Darkclan had clearly asked for it? Honestly...

“Finding some food for your dumb ladybug friend?" he asks, not understanding that ladybugs weren’t the same as bees and butterflies. What did ladybugs eat? He seriously couldn’t care less.

Sitting a safe distance from the two girls, he’d stare warily at Zaeya. Like any new joiner, he didn’t particularly trust her.

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

Flaxenpaw didn't particularly like loner joiners. He just couldn't bring himself to trust a cat that wasn't raised with the code since birth, or had undeniable loyalty to friends and family she had grown up with. Loners, no matter how loyal they seemed at first, had no actual ties to clan life and thus would always be a flight risk. Or, in the very least, they would have to make up for moons and moons of lack of training and cultural integration that, if they DID prove to be a flight risk, would be moons and moons of wasted teachings.

But, unfortunately, the gene pool had to be updated, so Flaxen wasn't about to win any battles advocating for Zaeya's banishment.

"I can teach you" Flaxenpaw would answer Zaeya's inquiry, looming behind her like a shadow come to life. He would stare her down with crisp lemon eyes, looking her up and down. Always judgemental, but his verdict, this time, was not a terrible one. Of all the newbies to have joined Shadowclan, Zaeya...well, she wasn't so bad. Flaxenpaw liked her enthusiasm, appreciated her hard work. She was more of a warrior candidate than most of the actual pure-blooded apprentices here! She...was unique.

And thus Flaxenpaw offered to teach her, to see what she was really made of. Perhaps she had more surprises in store, though he was mostly certain she'd disappoint him. But he could never tell until he actually got to know the girl a bit.

"I notice you're trying to ask for advice from a warrior, but since we're the same age and rank, I figured you'd be better prepared for your duties here. What do you say?" he asks, raising a brow, almost patiently challenging her to try and give him a reason why he'd make a bad teacher.

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

Maybe in another world, Flaxenpaw would feel bad for this mother bear. To have to lose it's own child - a member of it's family...It's indescribable, that kind of pain. This was something Flaxenpaw could understand, if he let himself see the bear as anything but a faceless, soulless, monster. Rather hypocritical of him, sure, considering the only family he'd ever lost were a mother that was basically immortal for seven more lifetimes, and a mom he ruthlessly continued to shove away and away. Maybe that's why sympathizing with the bear was impossible. Flaxenpaw didn't truly know the kind of grief that poor ursine had gone through, for even though he'd heard of his mother's deaths, and even though he kepts pushing his mom out, he always knew they'd come back. They'd never truly be gone. The same went for his siblings - Ravenpaw, Crowpaw, Dahliapaw. They were just as everlasting in life as he was, and to imagine a world without them...impossible.

So Flaxenpaw would feel no sympathy for this bear as he paraded beside his clan-mates, nerves running up and down, electric with fear but igniting his expression in a look of wild exitement. Hunting down an actual bear. How many cats could say in their lifetime that they'd done that? Suck it butterflywatcher - THIS was a story cats would want to hear!

And one day, when he became leader, his story would go down in history! Maybe his warrior name would even be Flaxenbear!

Of course, that was just a fantasy. In reality, Flaxenpaw was just on a hunting patrol for prey, not bears. While the nervousness was real, and the thought of running into the beast of legends was just as grounded in reality, his wishes would surely not be granted today. Like a child who begs starclan to have a different brother, Flaxenpaw didn't truly mean this wish, but in the moment it was all he could think about, hope and pray for. What a cruel thing his fate was. What a cruel outcome for such an innocent wish.

And the wish went like this: a story - the story, the one that would begin his path to respect and admiration in his clan. It would go along the lines of every tale of heroism that every kitten dreamed of become. It would go that he would hear the sounds of commotion nearby, the unistakable roar of a clanmate jumping into danger like the foolish idiot they were. Flaxenpaw would hear it, abandoning his certainty of a kill and rush to the scene. He would've wasted no time, watching the speckled apprentice flee mother was thrown to the ground with the bear advancing on her. And Flaxenpaw - one day Flaxenstar - would waste not a breath as he ran into the fray, just as he'd done when the bear attacked Oliveslip, and he'd bite the bear's ankle, rip off it's tail, distract it and lead it to a cliff or a river or the thunderpath and he'd kill it with his genius. He'd be made a warrior early then and there. Sorrelstar would shower him with love and praise, and tell him "I knew you were destined for greta things, my son" and everyone would agree. Everyone would respect him. Everyone would love him.

Happily ever after, the end.

That's how the story was supposed to go.

And yet, the moment he pushed through the bushes and saw his mother thrown, winded and dazed, to the ground with the bear looming over her like the shadow of death itself...the story's pages were ripped from the spine of the book. And just like that, he felt like his own backbone was ripped off, stomped and clawed to bits.

Future leaders aren't cowards.

But Flaxenpaw could not bring himself to move as the bear stepped closer, closer. Three seconds felt like three days. Three moons. Three seasons. Three lifetimes and then -

and the scent of copper filled the air.

His mother's metallic life spilled into the breeze like mist from a river changing in an unnatural direction.

Immortality becoming mortality.

And all the while, Flaxenpaw just stared.

It took him three lifetimes to finally move. No - it took him three seconds but...what were seconds, anyway? What where they when every damned moment mattered?!

"Mother" he stepped forward, shaky, unsteady, a newborn learning to walk for the first time. Then three seconds and he was upon her, confident yellow eyes blown wide. His mother probably wished Flaxenpaw's ego would be dialed down a inch or two a couple of times - who knew her pouring her blood over his paws was just the solution she'd been dying for.

Aha, get it?

"Ill fix this - I can do it" he swore, quivering and stiff all at the same time. He'd look around - his movements so slow, too slow, and the world moved so fast around him - and rushed to gather moss, leaves, cobwebs, anything and everything. Rushing back to his mother, he'd slap all of it onto her belly - her guts, her organs, or blood her bones - "You'll be ok, ill make you ok" he promised her, promised himself.

Strange, how even though he knew this wouldn't be the end, it didn't make him any less scared.

And less ashamed.

"I-I'm sorry" he whispered to her, blurting the words out as if someone else had taken control of his vocal cords. He refused to be defeated, even as her blood overwhelmed his senses and coated his paws - she wasn't going to die, he wouldn't let it! But he apologized anyway. Quitter talk! coward talk! Shut up flaxen! SHUT UP!

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry" he pressed the hodge podge of foolhardy material against her side, wondering and screaming why wasn't the blood stopping?! Why wasn't HE stopping? She wasn't going to die, he had nothing to be ashamed for.

"I'm sorry, i'm so sorry" but what DIDN'T he have to be ashamed for?

His legs trembled, hs breath hitched.

He was no Flaxenstar.

He was just a tiny stupid idiot Flaxenkit. Always had been.

"i'm sorry, mamma" he chocked, trembling with guilt and shame.

What a failure.

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

Flaxen didn't really believe in the Dark Forest. He figured that if you were good, followed the code and were remembered fondly, then you would live as an immortal among the stars, while those disgraceful code-breakers faded to oblivion. Truly, worse than all that baloney elders and queens came up with. Living an eternity in a dark forest was nothing compared to fading away in darkness and obscurity - he trebled at the thought!

So of course, Flaxenpaw never suspected the dark forest's influence when he scented blood coming from the apprentice's den. Poking his head inside, he blinked in shock when he spotted valerian with a torn throat. "Starclan - what happened to you!?" he exclaimed, pushing into the den and coming to Val's side. He wasn't particularly familiar with the other male, rarely having spent any time with him before, but that didn't mean he was about to abandon a clanmate in obvious need. Ripping up some moss, he'd press it into Val's throat while he turned to a nearby apprentice and hissed, "Go get OLIVESLIP and Icefeather( Hanakosong )"

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

Flaxenpaw would roll his eyes at the elder's chiding, to which he responded, "I waited for you to finish, didn't I? Besides, just because my opinion isn't one full of praise and adoration doesn't make me rude. " Why wasn't he surprised that the cloud-nine elder would be offended by Flaxen's lack of approval of such a predictably boring story. "Oh yes, because I learned SO MUCH from your story. What even was your mate's name again?" he scratches his ear with his hind leg, snorting, "and no one said violence solves anything? " he enjoyed watching Butterfly's smile slowly die. serves him right for getting Flaxen's hopes up.

Then, at last, Butterfly actually gets Flaxen's serious attention. "A clan that cannot work as a team is no clan at all - why was Shadowclan so at odds with it's own members, then? Unless you're just making that up to make your chick sound better" Flaxen would say, squinting at the male. He'd never heard of a story where Shadowclan had been so dysfunctional. Maybe it had been thanks to Flaxenstar's leadership that things were fixed?

"Tell us a story about that time, then ill stop complaining" he says, eyes sparkling with interest at his clan's history. But mostly, how HE could follow his grandfather's footsteps - if it had been he who fixed all of it.

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

Flaxenpaw had never thought he'd know the feeling of a life slipping between his paws. It was one thing, having heard of the way his mother died twice before but seeing her fine and healthy in the aftermath. No one had ever told him what it looked like, to be surrounded by a pool of ungodly amount of blood. To feel the way the pulse quickened just before it stilled forever. To breath in all that metallic blood and knowing, deep within it, that the scent of death was ever growing.

No one ever talked about that.

Flaxenpaw was numb, simply staring at his mother's body. Vaguely, he heard Ravenpaw's scream, and Ratshadow's attempts to comfort flax. Then he heard his mom, and his broke his gaze away to watch her mourn over Sorrelstar's body. It was a strange feeling, the way he found himself both longing to press his face into her soft black fur and to shove her away from his mother all at the same time. Love and hate, tied so closely to grief and loss.

"I can help carry her" Flaxenpaw would croak, voice strained with emotion as he pushed himself up. He was confused when the ground seemed to tug at his paws, begging him not to leave. But then he looked down and realized dizzily that his feet were sticky with his mother's blood, stuck to every blade of grass. He felt like throwing up.

"I can help" he mumbled.

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

“Dear Starclan Wolfpaw you clutz !" Flax would exclaim, after he managed to gather himself and shift fear into frustration. Yeah, Wolf wasn’t the only one on edge lately. Ever since he saw his mom...felt her...he hadn’t quite been the same. That in itself terrified Flaxenpaw, especially considering what he...

Fury bubbled forth in him, spurred by an intense need to cover everything else before either party here see it. “Stop asking stupid questions Zaeya," he snapped at her, which he regretted but only for a second before that, too, was washed away by his mounting anger. “Help me pick him up before he b-..bleeds.." he swollowed, confused when he couldn’t bring himself to say it, when thinking about it - about her- about what he -

Roughly shaking his head, Flaxenpaw would grab Wolfpaw’s scruff and yank him to his feet, “Seriously wolfpaw, howd you let this happen? If you bit off your tongue I’m going to laugh SO HARD" he sneered.

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

Flaxenpaw would step back as Firetongue approached, huffing and puffing like HE'D been the one to trip running from danger. "If anyone needs to take deep breaths it's you," he snapped at the warrior, irritated by the way he'd done the same to him. Ironic, how angry these two men were at each other when dealing with the same anxieties. Dodging the male's blood, Flaxenpaw bared his teeth at the younger boy, tempted to knock the boy's other teeth in but instead he hissed, "Don't start making excuses - the bear is nowhere nearby, you just got freaked by it's pitiful cry" he would snarl, but his ears would perk up, spinning this way and that as he suddenly wondered if the creature was nearby. "But because i'm so nice and I don't take orders from you" that was directed at Firetongue, "Ill take a look around, make sure your imaginary bear isn't still hiding behind trees to spook you over a root"

Whirling away from the rest, he'd pause only a moment when he met Zaeya's gaze. He was startled by the look of reassurance on his features, but it quickly fizzled into embarrassment - did she somehow know he was...Well, he wasn't! He was about to say that, but Zae was gone. Festering now in his own anger, the apprentice would spit furiously before leaping into the bushes to survey the territory. Stupid Wolfpaw and his stupid cowardice...Flaxenpaw wasn't scared. He was never...

//out

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

//Russet is precious and I love her

"What are you even doing?" Flaxenpaw would demand, pushing his way through the bushes to stare at the ball of trouble in red, now with a spiky...something on her head. It looked like fur, and it looked like it carried weight but none at all - I mean, it had no substance and yet it carried a shape, how strange. The young man would come over and push the hat back so he could see Russet's hopefully guilty expression as he hissed, "That thing reeks of twolegs. You shouldn't be playing with it."

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

"Are you planning to go home when you're finished?" if his voice wasn't surely so familiar to russetpaw, it might've seemed like it was a ghost's, seeing how it appeared to be emanating from nowhere. Should Russet spin around, she'd probably briefly brush her gaze right over Flaxenpaw, before his lemon hues brought her vision right back to him. After a blink or two, she might even see his silhouette, blended perfectly against a tree and bushes in all his dark tabby glory. Currently he was sitting, looking like he'd been sitting for a while, right there. Probably because he had been. You think he was just going to let the dumb red-head go out into the forest alone? After what that bear...Idiot girl.

Of course, Flax was no better, but much like she...he'd been wanting to find a way to get out of camp. Away from the sight of the medicine den...away from seeing his mother. Sure, she looked fine and healthy now but...Sometimes he saw the blood on her. At times it looked like a stain remained, and to his eyes that's what it was but...it wasn't. She was cleaned, crystal clear brown tabby and nothing else. But he saw the blood. He saw it on her, he saw it on his paws...sometimes he even smelled it.

The worst times where when he felt it, stinking and sticking his toes together, dragging him down into the dirt and suffocating him with rot and gore and-

And he just wanted a breather.

Russetpaw, and keeping an eye on her, gave him the perfect excuse. While he kept an eye on her, collecting moss, he made sure to swivel his ears, this and that, left and right, straining for any sign of bear and beast. He never got around to anouncing his presence though, not particularly in the mood for Russet to throw his own mantra back at his face or demand he not come with her at all. So silence, listening, and breathing was all he did while Russet gathered moss and escaped the prison of home.

But after a while, he spoke up, mainly because after her task was done she had no more reason than he to be out here. And this was long enough. He didn't want to risk either of them getting caught. Not by their clanmates...not by a killer beast.

But...he hoped she'd tell him 'no'.

He hoped she'd turn around, face him with that typical snotty smirk of hers, lift her chin and say 'of course not. I'm getting a breather and I'm not going to camp until my lungs are filled'.

Because that way Flaxen could also have an excuse to wait, breathe and fill his lungs.

He hoped she wasn't ready to go back.

Because he wasn't either.

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx

The fact that she didn't right away tell him to buzz off was a good sign. He had been certain that the girl had gotten to know his...less than perfect reputation. Irritating clanmates ruled the majority of disliking him than respecting, and while in most cases he didn't care, it continued to bite him in the tail in multiple occasions. But her particular smile pleased him. She seemed to know her place, with that humbleness in her grin, promising that she wasn't going to be a know-it-all or someone who'd take his teaching for granted. Her words only emphasised that, and for once Flaxenpaw genuinely smiled back, "I actually believe that. Shocker" he said aloud, amused with himself and this odd situation.

He was so used to dealing with idiots. Oh, here comes one now.

"I doubt she'll ask 'how to be loud in a forest' and 'what twoleg objects can I put on my head', so I'm afraid you won't be able to provide her any helpful answers" he sneers at her.

Then Firepaw asked her question, and Flaxenpaw's eyes would briefly light up. "Good question! The warrior code is every clan cat's backbone. Tjere are sixteen official rules and a couple more unspoken ones, like apprentices not being allowed to leave camp and clans not being allowed to force another clan to share territory or be driven off"

Sitting down before Zaeya, Flaxenpaw would continue, "The first code is to defend your clan, even at the cost of your life, and to not put any friendships you have across borders above your loyalty - in other words, always keep them at a distance. Or just don't have cross-clan friends at all! You only need your clan"

He would turn his gaze to russetpaw, deciding to open the table for the red-head to have some fun playing teacher's assistant, "Do you know what the next two codes are, Russetpaw?"

"Speech"

code by xredxpepperx