Going on patrols whether it be border patrols or hunting patrols always brought some joy to her life. Despite everything that happened to her while she resided in this clan, she still wanted to fulfill her duties. She had been born and raised to carry out these tasks, so doing them brought a sense of order to her life. That she was indeed doing something beneficial for this clan and that it would possibly protect many others. She couldn't complain about her duties considering it was nothing compared to that of Heronstar, Juniperthorn, the medicine cats, and the senior warriors duties. However, rest once in awhile was very much needed. Rest was always needed in one way or another. Whether you did it yourself or your own body forced itself to rest.
With her job done, she figured it would be best to simple wander. Sight see as some might say. It may have been boring, but she loved to see the changes the seasons brought. Change always intrigued her. Good and bad. However, one could only define whether the change was good or bad after it had already occurred. Change was never ending. One simply had to adapt to change and find their own way to cope with it. I'm still a mess, but things are okay. They aren't the best, but it's nothing compared to before. Just a little time. It takes time and that's okay.
"Help! Someone, someone...Charcoalsmudge!"
Of course, she would rush to the source. However, she would never be prepared to witness the reason for this call for help. It would forever be burned into her mind. She was sure that this scene would come to her every once and awhile in her dreams. A new nightmare to live through in the world of dreams.
To say she wasn't worried was beyond ridiculous. She may not have appeared that way to others, but she was beyond concerned. All this time she was weighed down with concern. However, now she was consumed by guilt. If she hadn't been so negligent. If she hadn't been so complacent. If she had pulled him aside and demanded answers this wouldn't have happened. How could one be so composed when their mate was currently a mess of limbs was beyond her. All she knew was that she felt like shit, but he was in an even worse shit hole than her. She always knew. He never had to say it, but she could tell. Even when they weren't together and doing their own things she was concerned for him. The nightmares that plagued him. The responsibilities he had as a deputy. Intrusive thoughts he had. The thought of losing her and mothshine weighed heavy on his mind. After all, he practically begged her not to die. Their first argument stemmed around the fact that she might have been killed by Creature of all cats.
Mothshine... She was always there for Juniperthorn and for that she was ever grateful. Even though she and Mothshine weren't close, she knew and understood the importance of their bond with Juniperthorn. She would never tarnish their bond. The cat he needs most is her right now. Even if she wanted nothing more than to wail and stay by his side, it would do nothing. He would continue to be a mess of limbs and he already had someone. No, he didn't just have Mothshine. While her mate was certainly proud he was equally insecure. He always thought and held on to the feeling that no one wanted to be with him simply to be with him. That he had no true friends or anyone who cared for him. What a fool he was. If that was the case neither her and Mothshine would be here for him. If no one cared they would have left him to die.
Death would not come for him. She would do anything in her power to do so. You promised me you wouldn't die either, so don't you dare croak on me. Croak and I'll come to Starclan to personally beat you to a pulp. Sedge had tried their best in reassuring them, but it wouldn't work. Not for her at least. This was her mate and she could do nothing for him. She couldn't even shed a single tear for him now. The truth of the matter was she was overwhelmed by this. Guilt, anger, concern, frustration, and fear struck her all at once.
All she could do was approach the other molly and place a paw on her shoulder, "Mothshine... If we could, we would save him ourselves. We can't. What we can do is give him room for now. I'm sure... Juniperthorn wouldn't want any of this to happen. Especially you." Then she leaned closer to the Mothshine's ear, "I know you feel it too. I blame myself for this too. When this is all over, he can't run anymore." These were words only meant for Mothshine to hear. With that, she gave a pat to their shoulder before giving Juniperthorn some space. Whether or not Mothshine wanted to sit next to her was their decision. Right now, they were united in their concern for Juniperthorn.
I've waited. Waited and waited for you to come to me and tell me how you really feel. Was that a mistake? All I wanted was for you to accept those feelings on your own. I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting this go on for too long.