Posts by .Mothshine.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― The wellbeing of her clanmates was so often on Mothshine's mind. Well before she earned the title of senior warrior, it was for their sakes that she worked so hard. She adored, to some degree, even those she did not know all that well. She did all that she did for them. Her clanmates, those she had learned to love and to consider family. It was a type of intense love she must've learned from Lavenderstar. She saw the way she cared for each and every one of them, how she always managed to consider all of their best interests. Even before she carried star at the end of her name. Perhaps this had something to do with why she loved her son most of all. Especially since his promotion, she thought of his well being often. It wasn't a worry for his bodily health. No, Juniperthorn was one of the most capable cats she knew. He carried strength in him from nose to tail tip. She didn't doubt that for a heartbeat. Still, she knew his mind, too. At least, as much as he let her know--which was likely a hell of a lot more than most. She had known the way he was plagued by nightmares and how even today it changed him. She shared his grief that came with the loss of his mother and her mentor. She knew his love the way he knew hers. So, she worried. Quietly, most of the time. She worried in gentle touches that were fleeting and a force of habit, in the way she looked to his nest the moment her eyes opened, in the way she was at his side for most patrols. Tender words weren't often exchanged between the pair. Sure, they were when it really counted. But she knew better. Actions always spoke louder between them.

She returned from camp when she smelled him before seeing him. Always up and working before even she often was. Always pushing. She ought to steal him away. Only for a moment--she knew their jobs didn't allow for much more. They could share breakfast in the orchard. She could pick his brain about that night at the river, tease him about Arcticwind. It'd be as easy and wonderful as it always had been and as she always hoped it would be. "Juniperthorn," She called his name in a bright, sing-songy voice. Whatever was meant to follow got caught in her throat. Or maybe it had gotten lost on the way out. Her eyes found him and she heard the sounds he made and she was suddenly very sure that her heart must've dropped to her belly. She knew fear like this. She hated fear like this. That same, uncontrollable feeling when she had seen Lavenderstar killed the first time. An echo of what she felt when she saw her friends injured. It was consuming. "Juniperthorn, Juni--!" She was upon him in an instant with his name spoken like a desperate plea. Not him, not him. She'd beg whoever she had to.

A forepaw pressed helplessly at his flank, as if trying to steady him. As if she even understood for a moment what was happening. If the fear hadn't been enough, guilt seized her chest. She should've checked in. She should've asked. She might've known better. Her eyes stung when she looked at him and he felt like a stranger like this. Quaking and helpless and nothing like she had ever seen him before. "Help! Someone, someone...Charcoalsmudge!" It was near a shriek when she asked for anyone who might hear. Unreasonably angry that someone hadn't stepped in sooner, as if he may have been lying here for ages. She was furious and terrified and the idea of ever losing her best friend was a thought she refused to entertain. To see him suffer might be more painful than anything. If even she couldn't help him now, who could? If she couldn't be there then who else could manage it? Loving someone this much felt like your heart lived halfway outside of your body. It was no wonder she felt like she might crumble right there if she no longer had him beside her.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― The approach of her clanmates should've soothed her. After all, they usually did. Sedge offered words she couldn't hear--or didn't want to hear. The cat Juniperthorn loved, the presence of his friends and clanmates. Sharing suffering had always been a comfort to her. But how could she feel anything but panic when her best friend was convulsing before her? Out of control, unable to speak. She didn't know whether he could even hear any of them. Perhaps later she'd wish that he hadn't been able to. Arcticwind and her exchanging whispers, her terrified yelling. It might be best if it had all faded into the background for him. She scarcely recognized that his mater was addressing her until she leaned in close. Give him room, give him room they were telling her. They had never been good at space, had they? When Mothshine was confined to the medicine den she felt all out of sorts if she wouldn't see him for a day, even if only in passing. Maybe when she loved something she didn't care much for space. She swallowed the hard lump in her throat, eyes never moving from him. Still, she managed the faintest nod at Arcticwind's words that were meant for her. Blame might not be the right word, and still here they both were taking it on. "No running." She agreed, voice barely audible perhaps even to her. It didn't matter. Burning gaze snapped to Tawnypaw finally. What had started as relief only furthered her panic when she saw his uncertainty. Inexperience she couldn't blame him for. If it weren't for the fear seizing her heart, she wouldn't have. "Pass? Let is pass?! Is that the best you can do? You're supposed to help him! What if he--" She spat it with a venom so rarely aimed at her clanmates. Her voice rose with each syllable. Shrill and with every bit of fear she felt plain to hear. Bisonpaw and Tawnypaw were only doing what they could. It was unfair of her to ask for more and she'd see that later. But not now. Not when they were in the thick of it. Helpless, helpless, helpless. There wasn't a damn thing she could do.

When she spotted Heronstar, she looked to her like a petrified kit. Asking for guidance she knew even she couldn't give to her. She couldn't even ask. She allowed for and welcome her touch, pressing her flank to her and grasping for what little comfort she could give. If Mothshine ever felt out of control, it was when she didn't understand something. If she ever lashed out, it was out of fear. What must've only been a few moments felt like a lifetime. If you asked her later, she'd insist it must have been an hour. The seconds dragged. Then he was still. He was still and Mothshine wasn't sure if he was--

Whatever unbearable thought that had threatened to overtake her entirely, it was washed away as quickly as it had come. They he was, with his seafoam eyes wide and looking back at them. Alive. She wanted to rush to him. She wanted to bury herself into his fur and ensure he really was fine. Instead, she looked back at him for a moment. Juniperthorn had never been fragile. But for a terrible moment, she felt as if he might disappear if she touched him. It wasn't until she heard his voice that she felt they might truly be in the clear. If it weren't for the awfulness of it all, she might've laughed. "Juni." She breathed out, on her paws again. She moved from Heronstar's side only to approach his. She leaned down, pressing her forehead to his briefly and allowing her own eyes to fall shut for only a second. "Tell me what you need." She offered when she pulled away. Anything. Please. Talk to me. Only she hadn't considered that he might not even know the answer himself.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― In the moments and hours following Juniperthorn's seizure, it had felt as if everything was made of glass. Herself and him most of all. Like if she moved to suddenly, or even dared to breathe too hard, she'd shatter some delicate balance between them. She'd have to see him fall again. She'd find him hissing at enemies that weren't there, searching for herbs he grasped at as a last resort. Mothshine hated to waste what precious little time she had on guilt or regret. But if she thought about it (like she so often did these days) how could she not feel responsible? He had never asked for her to take care of him. He never needed someone looking out. Mothshine had done that willingly. There wasn't a question in her mind that he would do the same. Then, somehow, when he might have needed her most of all she hadn't been close enough. Now she couldn't figure out whether he had done something to lock her out, or if she simply hadn't looked hard enough. Dealing with injuries of her own, her own swirling feelings of grief. Still, she would have been there. Without question, without hesitating. The way they'd always been there for one another. She'd been planning on stealing a moment with him. Maybe she'd ask him to go to the orchard, or they'd walk near the southern border. Maybe they'd take the same path they had the night after their vigil. Walking together always did seem to end in some confession. They must bring it out in one another.

Every thought that passed through her mind was interrupted by a voice she was glad to be interrupted by. Her name spoken from his lips was as familiar as anything. He had been there in the exact moment she earned it, the exact moment it had been given to her. He had been there all through the night and the morning following. And so they always found their way back to one another. "Juniperthorn," She sang his name back to him. The lightness in her voice betrayed by a smile that didn't touch her ember eyes. Something hung between them. Whether or not it was unpleasant, she wasn't yet sure. Time might tell. Something heavy and unspoken that sat in the back of her throat. A question, a plea. Both. The hoarseness of his voice frightened her and she wore fear more painfully than anything else. She'd always allow him to be weak with her, if he needed to be. Did he know that? He could be anything he wanted to be with her. She was already rising to her paws to meet him in their signature greeting. Easy. Easier than whatever she wanted to ask him about, or listen to him say. She worried and worried and worried. Surely he knew that too. Do you have a moment? "For you, always." She responded hardly before he had finished his sentence. Carrying titles that so many older cats bore, even she almost forgot how young they both still were. Grief might have aged them. They had so much life left to live. She might never forgive him if he didn't ensure he kept himself healthy enough to see it. "I had been meaning to come and find you anyways." She spoke this more quietly than before, some hint of what might be to come. They both needed this.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― If Heronstar's call hadn't gotten her attention, their deputy's sluggish body language certainly did. She was on her paws in an instant, concern crossing her face plain as day. Missing clanmates always filled her with dread. After finding Brookfur after he absence, no longer alive, it was sometimes hard to keep her mind from jumping to worse case scenario. Her heart ached for the fear Fallenkit must be feeling, if she was lost and on her own. She'd keep the faith that they would find her. At the very least, they wouldn't rest until they sorted out what might have happened. She nearly echoed Tawnypaw's words. She wouldn't put kit stealing past them. Not for a moment. Then Sedgeroot all but confirmed it...Well, half way. "I'll help." She said hurriedly, joining at Juniperthorn's side. After her weeks with an injured leg that left her confined to camp, she understood his restlessness better than others. It may also have something to do with the fact that she knew him as well as she knew herself. "I can check two places, if need be." She added, turning her gaze on the cinnamon tabby. "You need to rest." There was something stern in her voice when she said it, but you couldn't miss the worry underneath it. "I promise we've got this." She added to him for quietly, gentler this time. He was mistaken if he thought she wouldn't rather be doing this with him. But she'd rather see him better first.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― Mothshine was always up for a challenge. Perhaps she should be a bit more cautious. If there were a younger crowd here, she might have been. "Oh, ha-ha, Juniperthorn." She said it with sarcasm laced in her words, but it was clear by the shining grin she wore that she actually did appreciate his joke. Any time she could rope him into some harmless shenanigans, she was pretty pleased. She'd have to thank Dustdevil for his find later. She returned her greeting to Sedge, turning her gaze back onto the big rubber ring. Her eyes widened when he dared to touch it before she had the chance--but it wasn't fear the earned that look from her. Curiosity always did get the best of her. It moved! She almost laughed again at Dustdevil's inquiry. "Well, don't look at me. I'm as clueless as the rest of you when it comes to twoleg behavior." It left her baffled more often than not. What little she had learned had been passed onto her by Blackbird, former daylight warrior, before his passing. It didn't mean she found them any less strange. Were they going to find other monster bits in the territory? Big chrome panels, or more of these rubber monstrosities? Regardless, the one before them had entirely captured her attention. "Dustdevil--" It was unclear whether she was opening her mouth in warning, or perhaps she was about to encourage him. She only took a step back when he started spinning faster than she could keep track of.

She might've been concerned if it weren't for the next words that left his mouth. Fun. She couldn't miss out now! Sedge and Dustdevil had both been brave enough to touch it. Or maybe brash. Mothshine liked to call it bravery. She eyed the tire, like she was sizing up and enemy, before moving backwards a few tail lengths. Her haunches wriggled for dramatic effect, preparing for what sure to be a similar whirlwind. "Here goes nothing!" She chirped, sending herself forward in a blur of ashen fur. Her claws clung desperately to the thing, certain for a moment that it wasn't going to hold. Then off she went spinning furiously, laughing before she even hit the ground. When she did it was in an only half-graceful heap, rolling off to the side with limbs splayed. She rose to her paws, eyes blinking furiously in hopes of easing some of the dizziness she was clearly experiencing. It took her a moment of bubbling giggles before she spoke, "Alright!" She huffed, turning to Sedge and Juniperthorn. "Your turns!" She insisted, smiling wide as ever.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― Dustdevil certainly knew how to keep things lively, even in leafbare. It was for that reason exactly that she quite liked the curly furred tom and the way he sought out mischief. It was all harmless, and that was the best kind. Mothshine had grown increasingly busy since her apprentice days. That was the way of things, wasn't it? It was nice to sit back when they could, in one another's company, and enjoy the things they would've when time allowed for it. "Count me in!" She chirped readily, coming up alongside Arcticwind and taking her place there.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― Mothshine wasn't far behind the tails of Sedge and Tawnypaw. There were plenty of reasons she enjoyed coming to this border, and plenty of times where she had come here in secret lit only by the moon and a pair of shining sapphire eyes. She had something of a soft spot for Riverclan, and a great deal of respect for them. For all of Mothshine's life in Skyclan, they had been their most steadfast ally. Steady and sure. They had helped them when their old camp had been destroyed by twolegs. They had stood with them in their gathering protests. And, although Mothshine often forgot it, it was true that their leader carried Riverclan blood in her veins. It was no wonder she liked them. Marigold eyes sought out the head of their patrol first. The only one on the patrol she recognized. "Tempestwing," She greeted the deputy with warmth in her voice. She had been in attendance back when their two clans had held a private gathering. She offered nods to the other cats in attendance, before giving a thoughtful hum at Tawnypaw's comment. Starclan must be happy. She certainly hoped that was true. A devout believer in their warrior ancestors, she hated the way talk of them made her so uneasy as of late. It had something to do with Heronstar's last warnings at their meetings. Surely the actions of one or two cats couldn't be enough to throw off the entire balance of things. She couldn't think on it too much now. "How've you all been?" She chirped. It had been some time since she had seen any of their ranks at their border. It'd be a nice opportunity to check in.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― This border certainly seemed a popular one as of late. Perhaps that's why Mothshine found herself here so often, and why patrols ran this way more frequently. She'd never get used to the way the smell of the city made the fur along her spine want to prick with indignation. She was glad to not have to travel any deeper inside, except for once moons ago when Skyclan had raided them. She'd be happy to never see the blacktop or buildings again. A warm breeze rustled her ashen fur. If it weren't for the unusual warmth, this walk would've been much more unpleasant. With how frequently Nathanos had been at their border, she half expected to see the massive tom once more. It certainly wouldn't have surprised her. Instead, she was met by a stranger. Her smell gave her away but she had never seen this feline before. She eyes her for a moment, marigold eyes intense. "Another visit." She said it absently, as if she didn't have time for whatever was about to unfold. She was young. And appeared to be alone. Her gaze flickered behind her for the briefest moment, as if expecting more company to emerge. She approached the border a little more closely, all while keeping some intentional distance between the two of them. "More news for Skyclan?" She asked it with uncertainty. Something sharp in the way she spoke. Perhaps it was someone asking for another favor. Stars, she was growing tired of these exchanges.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― Surprise crossed Mothshine's face plain to see. It took her a heartbeat or two before she cleared her throat and returned her expression to a neutral one. To say she was surprised might even be an understatement. It was such a very short time ago that the massive tom had arrived here himself, informing them of his ascent to leadership. News that had made her uneasy, despite the peace he had extended to them in following days. Keeping the truce intact, fully returning their land to them. It was second nature to her to question their motives. It would be no different today. Even she couldn't deny Nathanos was quite the presence. She hadn't expected for his leadership to be so painfully short lived. She exchanged glances with her clanmates. Surely similar thoughts must be passing through their minds. "Reja." She spoke her name like she was properly greeting her now, now that she'd been identified. "Forgive me for my bluntness," She began, "But how can we expect someone who knows nothing about the history of our feud to keep a handle on it now? Are we meant to just trust your word?" Perhaps they were questions that sounded hostile. But they were no less genuine. Someone who hadn't even known they existed, now at the helm of a clan who largely felt bitter towards Skyclan. That feeling was commonly returned among her own clanmates. She was no stranger to that feeling. Even in times of neutrality, they had still been on the receiving end of Bloodclan's violence. For their peace of minds, she wanted to believe their new leader. Still, she couldn't be sure if she could. At least not quite yet. Words were easy. Actions were much more likely to gain trust.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 16 moons

― I owe you an explanation, don't I? If Mothshine was surprised by his words, she didn't quite show it. She only offered a soft smile in return. Something that showed appreciation for the gesture. She hated the way this felt. Half hearted smiles exchanged, apologies she didn't want him to feel obligated to give. This was the wonder of her relationship with Juniperthorn--that even when everything around them was so terribly complex and felt so painful, they could come back to one another. It'd feel easy. For the first time ever, she felt the hint of a strain. Her worry had been suffocating. She knew he knew her well enough to feel it too. Her pain that came with carrying the weight of her worry, and his pain that came from admitting any weakness. She searched his face for something as he spoke, marigold gaze scrutinizing in their intensity. Like she was trying to see just by the look of him if he had truly been resting. A heavy breath of her own left her maw, pressing against his side for a moment. An excuse maybe to sort out her own thoughts. If he felt guilty for causing her pain, she felt guilty for not seeing his sooner. A sentiment likely shared by Arcticwind. If she had looked a little more closely, or talked to him a little sooner. If she hadn't spent weeks in the medicine den would she have seen in coming? Maybe hindsight was useless now. All it was good for was making the pair of them feel worse.

"You know you're the strongest cat I've ever known, right?" She said it suddenly, and as if it were the easiest thing of all. Matter of fact, even. He was frustrated. He was sorry. Was it possible she felt those things right back, even if the cause was entirely different? Even in all of their differences they managed to mirror one another like this. "But I want you to know you don't have to be. At least...not all of the time." If he needed a place to go when he needed to be weak for a moment, she had meant it when she said she always had time for him. "You know I'm here, whatever you need. And I'm sorry if I hadn't made that clear enough in the past. I should have--" She was speaking more hurriedly now. Words tumbling from her lips as quickly as they entered her mind. She shook her head for a moment. Something to gain some clarity. Her chest ached for the pain he must be in. She'd take it from him if she could. She'd carry the burden. She was swallowing hard against the building of emotion in her throat. That same helpless feeling she'd had when she saw him on the ground. "Juniperthorn," His name was spoken like the plea. "I thought for a second that I might--" She was scowling against the words. Like it took some great effort to get it out. "I might lose you." Of course that was why she had been as hysterical as she had been, shouting and biting poor Tawnypaw's head off for simply doing his best. He had to know that. She wore it all so plainly, especially to him.

"I can't, okay? Not you." She'd barely recovered from the losses they'd already suffered. She knew he was right there with her. She was never quite the same after Lavenderstar. She'd be okay again, but different. She was very much certain in her mind that she wouldn't even manage the okay part if he left her too. She hated to feel this desperate. She looked at him like she was begging for something. "Please, please, you have got to take care of yourself." She struggled to keep her voice level. She didn't need to draw any attention this way. But Mothshine had never been subtle, had she? "If you're not doing it for you then at least do it for me, okay? I need you here. I need you around." She'd felt that way since their friendship had been solidified so early in their apprentice days. Maybe he just needed to hear it. He had surely speak this way before--as emotionally as this. Often times Finchblossom was the subject. Or those who were no longer with them. "You're my best friend." Of course she spoke about him like this. Of course he brought this out in her, after everything that had happened. She nearly felt bad for swallowing him up with her words like this. She might've, if she didn't feel it so desperately needed to be said. She drew in a sharp breath. "You're my best friend, and I'm never going to forgive you if you die on me because you were being too stubborn to look after yourself, alright?" This might be the closest she'd ever gotten to speaking to him harshly. She wasn't angry with him. Maybe just at the situation, and a little bit at herself. This just must be what it feels like when someone you love this much is hurting. Like you'd give every last bit of yourself to help make it better.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 17 moons

― For Juniperthorn to act in any way that might indicate he needed help seemed so rare to here. Now here he was, directly asking for it. Mothshine looked almost as if she were amused when she listened to him speak, approaching more slowly behind her clanmates. Maybe she felt a little bit proud of him, and maybe it seemed a silly thing to be proud of someone for. But the Juniperkit she had first met, and then Juniperpaw, likely wouldn't never stood in the clearing and asked for advice in such a way. Certainly it was progress. It meant he at least wanted to do better for himself, and that gave her a great sense of relief. She drew up alongside Kestrelpaw, beaming brightly. "Kestrelpaw, when did you get so wise, huh? It must have been passed on from me." She chirped playfully, flicking her shoulder lightly with her tail tip. Mothshine most often leaned on the family and friends around her when she needed support. When she needed to relax, she needed to burn energy. When she needed clarity, she spent time with those she loved. Although truthfully, Juniperthorn probably already knew all of these things about her. Before she interjected with her own tidbits of advice, she looked at him expectantly. A gentle smile still present on her maw, waiting for his response to the words already offered by Tawnypaw and Kestrelpaw. He truly had something of a small army behind him. She just didn't think he even realized it most of the time.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 17 moons

― It was in these moments that Mothshine was especially grateful for the faith she had in the clanmates around her. That, even after the initial fear the commotion caused, she wouldn't question their capabilities. Rage surged in the back of her throat and threatened to come spilling out in barbed words. Maybe there wouldn't be any time for it now. She was on Juniperthorn's heels in a heartbeat, the fur along her spine pricked. This was perhaps the small price of loving your clanmates like family, the way Mothshine so often did. That the thought of Heronstar lying dead somewhere (however temporary) was nauseating at best. That someone felt entitled enough to steal something from her, from Skyclan. To threaten their home and the people in it. These are the exact moments she trained for. However prepared she might be, it certainly felt awful when they arrived. When all Lavenderstar had taught her had to be put to the test for the sake of their home. Amber eyes ablaze, her gaze found Sedgeroot and Tawnypaw. To see them act without question, without hesitation. She'd be thanking them all for it later, that much she was sure of. Then there was the voice of her best friend pulling her back in. Fueling a fire that was already well lit. Don't hold back. He certainly wouldn't have to tell her twice.

"You're going to regret ever coming here in the first place." She spat it when she joined along the cinnamon deputy's side, prepared to bolster his attacks. She wanted to catch his gaze for a moment. To make good on that silent promise they'd made so long ago--that no matter how bad things god, they had one another's backs. That in every battle where they could be seen, they would most often be seen together. For Heronstar, for Lavenderstar, for every cat that came before them. They owed them this much. To put everything on the line when battle called. Stars, if Juniperthorn made her feel invincible outside of battle, there was nothing quite like fighting at his side when they shared an anger like this. A fury at what had been done to them. She had known this pain before at the paws of Bloodclan, and had seen his rage because of it. It was dangerous. It was consuming, if they let it get that far. It was what likely made the deputy so deadly in battle. Should his attack be successful, she attempted to throw her weight against Daisy, claws extended. She'd get in any licks she could in what little time she may be allowed. She would protect this place with everything she had. This fight would be no different.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 17 moons

― Juniperthorn had always been rather private in his relationship with Arcticwind. Not in the same way Mothshine had to be in hers--a decision she was left no choice in. A love she shared with only a select few, and Juniperthorn had been one of them. She should've expected that if he were ever to fall in love that he would be this way. Still, quiet or not, she knew the ferocity of his feelings. She knew it in the way they loved each other. She knew well what his loved felt like, even if it was a different kind. She saw it in how he came home to his shared nest with Arcticwind every night. They hadn't needed to waste much time explaining things. Mothshine knew him well enough to know without it being said. He'd found a partner in Arcticwind, and for that she was glad for him. Mothshine never thought for a second that he deserved anything less than the world. Now, she might've guessed the arrival of a potential new family member would have him like this. Sitting in the glowing light of camp, contemplative. She might've snorted in amusement if she didn't think it would be rude. Juniperthorn's gonna be a dad. Butterflydawn and Lavenderstar must have been perfect examples to him. A kit raised by Juniperthorn would be lucky in her eyes, although she doubted he felt the same.

She approached the group in the midst of the deputy's laughter, her own eyes sparkling. Stars, he must be mortified. Truthfully, she didn't know if congratulations were in order. It was for these reasons exactly that Mothshine sometime forgot how young they both were. It felt like they'd done enough living for a few life times, and yet they were no where close to finished. Could he already be on his way to starting a family? If she'd had guessed as an apprentice, she'd never have thought he'd beat her to it. "Your mind must be absolutely reeling." She said it gently, voice teasing. The comment was accompanied by a bumping of their shoulders. The same silent way she always gave him her support. It must go without saying by now that, whatever came of this, she'd be with him every step of the way. Surely he'd have Arcticwind for that too. She had shown Mothshine before that her support for the tom was as unwavering as her own.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 17 moons

― Mothshine never thought for a moment that she'd miss the river. Water scared her. She sometimes forgot that Heronstar probably felt at home in the water once. Maybe she still did. She couldn't imagine it. She had only tried it once, under moonlight next to her love. Guided by Finchblossom and the excitement that she might just impress her simply by trying--even through the fear of it all. Now she missed the water. The sound of it, the stars reflected back at her, the sound of Finchblossom's voice floating across it. Now she came on patrols that were largely unpleasant with the peculiar heat. She should be grateful for the strong alliance they'd cemented with Riverclan. It meant she could frequent this place without much question. Amber eyes narrowed against a strangely harsh sun, thoughts as busy as they always were when she came here. Constantly looking for something she wouldn't find. Certainly not in daylight. Instead, she was met by the sight of a stranger. A Riverclan warrior? She approached the bank with an easy smile, something relaxed in the way she moved. It was always that way here. Often speaking with allies, friends. "Hey there," She called out to him, eyeing him like she was trying to decide whether she had ever seen him before at all. It was sympathy she was feeling whenever speaking with other cats of the forest lately. Surely they were all feeling the pain of this heat. The prey issues, the rogues that were terrorizing her home currently. What a state they had all been in, after things had finally settled for a moment. A brief moment. "Can we do something for you?" She asked this after deciding that he had indeed come here alone, no patrol in tow. Solo visits always seemed to have a reason behind them.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 17 moons

― The tree tops might be where Mothshine felt most at home--perhaps second to being at Juniperthorn or Finchblossom's sides. She had learned the art of climbing as quickly and as eagerly as possible. When she came upon her clanmates, her eyes found Mothpaw first. A gentle smile crossed her face. She had been so honored upon his birth, for her name to be shared with one of Lavenderstar's kits. In the moons following her death, the thought of it made her stomach turn with grief. That feeling was more of an echo now. Something more bittersweet. Now, she was simply glad to see him learning as his apprenticeship progressed. "A bird?" She echoed in amusement, joining alongside Sedgeroot. It wasn't the first time the comparison had been made between Skyclanners and the winged animals. She supposed it must feel something like flying. It was Bisonpaw's question that really got her thinking for a moment. If she was climbing for sights, you'd probably find her in the orchard. Juniperthorn would likely be in tow. She glanced towards the medicine cat apprentice for a moment. She could never quite imagine what it must be like to be in his position. She supposed she was privileged in the sense that she never had to. Climbing had never been a challenge for her, for any reason or another. "I think for me...it's more about the feeling than the sights." She began. Perhaps it had a little something to do with her ego. To rule a domain where most other forest cats were so uneasy or unable to go. "Being in the trees, wind in your fur...It makes me feel sort of invincible." She said it with a laugh in her voice, and you could nearly hear the excitement in her tone from so much as talking about it. She really was a Skyclan cat through and through.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 17 moons

― Juniperthorn made her feel proud to fight alongside him. It made her feel powerful to see how deadly the pair could be in battle when the situation called for it. They pushed Daisy back together, they showed her that Skyclan truly was a force to be reckoned with. Not a single one of them would go down easy. That much could be heard in the battle cries, could be seen in the ferocity of all of her clanmate's in their fighting. They would protect one another before anything else. A growl rose in the back of her throat when the rogue readied herself for another attack. An attack made on their deputy may as well be an attack on her. She moved to a crouch, ready to finish things the moment she was distracted by Juniperthorn. Instead, the voice of their leader caught her own attention. Her call ringing out in the clearing like it had so many times before in the moons of her leadership. With it came a great surge of pride in Mothshine's chest--the feeling of seeing her return to them, still leading, still ready to fight for them. Battered yet determined. It was for exactly these reasons that Mothshine had not questioned for a moment whether she would go to battle for Heronstar. For all the times she would have done the same for each and every one of them. Skyclan would see another victory today. Mothshine could see the way things had begun to turn, in the way Daisy limped away from them and in the blood that did not belong to Skyclanner's the littered the ground around them. A call for retreat. A great feeling of relief. She turned to Juniperthorn with a grin so wide it lit her entire face, chest heaving from the efforts of their fight. They'd seen the other side of another battle together.

She turned towards the faint voice of Heronstar once more, paws carrying her towards her without thinking. "Heronstar," She breathed her name with all of her relief plainly heard. It very quickly occurred to her how rarely she saw her like this. Reduced to anything but the picture of strength. Skyclan may have won, but now their leader stood before them clearly beaten. Watching her sink to the ground sent Mothshine's heart into her stomach. "Heronstar..." Her named spoken more like a plea this time, moving closer to her. She was asking for them, all of them. Of course they'd always answer. She could feel the panic rising in the back of her throat, the same fear that had gripped her when she realized Lavenderstar had been about to leave them. The same urge to plead with no one in particular, to beg for one more moment. Not yet, not yet. Not again. Her heart had broken nine times over for Lavenderstar--a grief from which she still hadn't quite healed. How was she meant to do this a second time so soon? Heronstar would die surrounded by those she loved. Surrounded by family. How did it still feel so unfair? There would be no way Mothshine could say goodbye to her that felt good enough. The words she spoke to Juniperthorn, her very best friend, wrung her heart so painfully she was furiously blinking tears from her eyes. If it weren't for their closeness, she'd feel like she was invading a private moment by simply being there.

Nothing felt worst to her than the feeling of fear. Fear she felt for losing someone she had learned to love so dearly, fear for what this meant for Juniperthorn. She was terrified. She believed in him long before anyone else might have. She had seen in him something it sometimes took others moons to see. Still, to carry the weight of a clan on your back all while going through grief--if she felt scared for him, she couldn't begin to imagine how he must feel. She watched his face a moment, and it was terribly hard not to reach for him for comfort. To lean on him in the way they always did. These moments of loss stuck with her so painfully, and for most of them he had been at her side. Only now this loss meant something bigger for him. A change she never could've expected so soon. Stars, he was so young. This can't be goodbye. There he was, speaking words that had been in her own head. Shared grief sometimes made these things easier. Other times, all it did was amplify her own to have to see him hurting like this. She touched her flank to his for a moment, hardly able to keep her body still. It all felt so terribly heavy.

Finally, she moved closer to Heronstar with the knowledge that these would be the last words she spoke to her. To speak around a throat filled with sorrow was not easy. When it had been Lavenderstar, she had pleaded with her. She wanted to do the same now only this time she realized what little good it would do. She leaned down, blinking past blurry vision, and touched her nose to their leader's cheek. "We're going to be okay, Heron." She promised, and though her voice shook when she said it she hoped she knew that she meant it. If she needed to know anything now, it was that she left Skyclan as best as she could have. That she set them up for a future that promised to be bright, through all of the work she had done. "Thank you for everything." It wasn't enough. Not enough time, not enough words. We'll miss you. We'll remember you. We'll see you again someday.Those things must go without saying. For every terribly pain she felt now, she had to believe that they would be okay after this. Standing behind Juniperthorn, carrying on for those they'd lost along the way. They'd have to make it. They didn't have any other choice. Heronstar's last moments didn't need to filled with the fear of the clanmate she was forced to leave behind. She wanted to leave her hopeful. She wanted her to feel like she could rest now, after everything. They would have to be okay.

She took her place back at Juniperthorn's side, and his cry of grief only brought forth more tears of her own. Perhaps it was selfish of her to wish so quickly that they could be alone--that she might take him away from the pain of this place even if only for a moment. She turned to bury her face into the fur at his neck. It was as much of a reach for comfort as it was a gesture for him. She hated to think of how long it might take to heal from this. They were changed for the better after having known Heronstar. That was what made the goodbyes so painful, after all.

MOTHSHINE ♚

Skyclan - Senior Warrior - Female - 17 moons

― The bustle of life both inside and outside of camp was a welcome distraction to Mothshine. She slipped from the warrior's den, expression more solemn and serious than you'd usually find. Lost in thought, perhaps. She had meant to find Juniperthorn upon her exit. She always had an endless amount of things to say to him. Especially lately, especially now. Instead, her gaze fell on Ryepaw. She paused in her tracks, before veering off in her direction instead. "Ryepaw," She chirped a quick greeting to the young molly, something like concern in her voice. She looked at her thoughtfully, as if she might place what was wrong by just reading her expression. "What's with the long face? How was your training this morning?" She inquired, tail tip flicking. She hated to see any of her clanmates feeling discouraged, and with everything happening as of late, she expected she'd be seeing plenty of it.