Posts by BIRDBONES

It had been a long trek, and whilst the herbs that Birdpaw had recommended for she and Duckthroat to ingest had been probably the worst thing she had ever tasted in her life, they had certainly helped stave off the hunger she knew she was going to inevitably face. It was only now she was starting to get hungry, which was good timing since it was about now that Mistralhowl's successor would be entering Mothermouth, and at his question, she would nod, answering him with a shakier voice than she had intended. "Yeah, I'm- I'm fine." she said, a smile in her voice though her face was fairly neutral. Her features were permanently scared-looking, so he shouldn't be concerned for her belief in him.

The ebony apprentice was caught off guard by his words, thanking her for her speech to him at his ascension. She found herself flattered he had been so affected by her words... she had only meant to encourage him, aware of his insecurity that she recognised only because it was an emotion she was entirely familiar with. "I really meant what I said. I... I believe in you." There was sincerity spilling from her voice and hope in her honeyed eyes, for she truly knew he was the right cat for the job.

And as they stepped inside, and he touched his nose to the Moonstone, she closed her eyes, sending a prayer to the stars- good luck, Duckstar.

The journey to Mothermouth had been hard, gruelling even- it had been hard for Birdpaw to stave off the hunger in order to keep her duty to the stars, but she had managed it. And it had all been worth it now to see Duckstar standing before them, commanding WindClan as a kind leader as his destiny had always told him to. He would bring faith back in StarClan, and under his leadership WindClan would thrive... they were the Clan closest to the moonstone and they would embrace that. Though she was much younger than he, the prideful smile on Birdpaw's face was a dead giveaway. Settling amongst her fellow WindClanners, her gaze of sunshine befell their new leader upon his first meeting... ah. It was the end of an era, the beginning of a new one. Birdpaw couldn't wait.

Eyes of yellow, dulled by tiredness, lit up the exit of the medicine cat den and fell upon the three cats. Whitelightning, Thornstep and... Patch. Yes, those were the figures stood before her in the cold, and the air that masked the air around them was freezing enough to make Birdpaw worry for their wellbeing. Still, she found herself... nervous to approach. It was typical of a medicine cat to be worried for them, a rather generic quality she had to admit, yet her worry did not stave away the thought that they might not want her there. Uncertain paws carried her feathery form to the gathering of tomcats, her bright gaze looking from feline to feline, a spark of curiosity in her gaze.

"Um... are you all... alright...?" she asked, brows furrowing slightly in her concern. Her breath drifted into the air as wisps of icy cloud, pluming to surround her face.

Birdpaw too was shivering. It was a bitterly cold day, and it was hard for her to even breathe- wheezing breaths left her maw, but she still managed a fleeting smile to the SkyClan cats as she drew up behind Thornstep. The earthy smell that often clung to her pelt had faded in the frigid air, and herbs were becoming increasingly difficult to find... usually when visiting the border patrols she would have marigold or something clasped betwixt her jaws, but not today. The concern on their faces was... hard for her to deal with, so her smile was short despite being genuine; there was no way she could sit before them with a gentle smile whilst they looked so worried. The sheer solemnity that the cat at the front of their small patrol gave was enough to throw her off and fragment her words out of awkwardness. "Is, um, is everything... uh, okay?"

Weekly tasks... she'd barely ever done them, yet she kept coming back and getting more. Oh, she felt so bad about it...people were nice enough to give her things to do but she ended up being too busy for it! Internally, she cursed herself. "Uh... if it's alright, Duckstar, can I have one?" she asked, a hopeful smile curving her lips.

Much like her brother, Birdpaw had not heard of her fallen uncle. Her BloodClan heritage was not something she tended to dwell on- she was a WindClanner through and through, bound to them by the stars and the familial bonds of her parents. Even if she had not been born a WindClanner, she was their medicine cat nonetheless... she was loyal to them through the orders of the silvery stars above, and she would forever abide by those threads of moonlight, no matter where she came from. Her mother's withdrawn demeanour did not go unnoticed by her, though; a sympathetic soul Birdpaw had always been, and grief dripped from Stormfeather's form like another coat of fur. Her approach was tender and cautious, and she brushed her feathery pelt along her mother's other side, a glistening look of pity in her honeyed eyes.

She would say nothing for now, not having enough faith in her words to offer any more condolences or questions. She too was unsure of the reason why, but Bearpaw had always been better spoken than she. The night-hued femme's own words would come later, she decided.

The cries of the queen were not something Birdpaw could miss, and the warriors seemed to be quick to leap upon the opportunity to send out a search patrol. With her sensitivity, the medic noticed that there was no-one but Duckstar who had paid much mind to the poor queen who begged for her son, and pity surged in Birdpaw's gut like a violent sickness. With delicate paws she was quick to dash to the queen's side, pressing herself up against the slightly bigger femme (it was times such as now that she realised how much she had grown since being an undersized kit). "It's going to be okay," she murmured, attempting to guide the queen along with her feathery tail, her voice even more soft and gentle than normal. "Our best warriors will be on the job, and, um... in no time, he'll be back to you," she assured, and despite everything there was sincerity in her voice. Despite everything, she believed in WindClan and Duckstar's leadership, enough that Bumblekit would surely soon be found.

Unlike her larger brother, Birdpaw moved rather quietly- her steps had always been rather tentative and delicate, even before she was aware of how careful she should really be with her body. She'd never he'd much of an appetite, either, which was probably a factor in ensuring that she didn't grow too large. At Bearpaw's call, the ebony femme's large ears perked up, and briefly she went through everything she had to do... ah! Her schedule was clear, and at realising such a thing, a smile spread across her maw.

Attempting to press her flank against Bearpaw's as a greeting, Birdpaw chimed in her gentle songlike tone, "I'll practice with you, Bearpaw," she offered, eyes of gold-turning light bright with the enthusiasm she could not convey through her soft voice.

It wasn't often Birdpaw went on patrols- it wasn't her job, after all. But sometimes it was interesting (for lack of a better term) to experience the path she might have been able to take. Really, she never could have been a warrior even if she'd wanted to be- her ost-e-o-por-o-sis (a word she still found hard to say, both because it was long and because it hurt her emotionally) had ensured her fate as nothing more than a nursery-helper was sealed. But Hawkmoth had offered a light in the dark, the time when she had been practically dragging around her back leg and the medicine den had become more familiar to her than the nursery- an offer to be his apprentice. An offer, not a prophecy or an instruction. To become a medicine cat... that had been her interest, the only thing she'd ever been excited about up until then. She had become Hawkmoth's apprentice not because she was forced to, but because she wanted to.

That didn't prevent her from (albeit awkwardly) making her way over to where Brightshine and Whitelightning stood, a slight apprehensiveness to her demeanour despite how much she wanted to hide it. "I, uh..." she started, making eye-contact with Whitelightning as she hesitated; ah, he'd always told her to... just be confident, hadn't he? And he'd helped her become more assertive when it came to conversation- she'd hate for him to see his lessons go to waste. "I'd like to go, please."

It was a miracle that her voice did not shake... ah, perhaps Whitelightning's advice really was good. The medic couldn't help but let a gentle, proud smile conquer her face.

The commotion indeed grabbed Birdpaw's attention, her intrigue soon replaced by pure, unbridled horror upon the sight of the poor kitten. Her mother was undoubtedly feeling maternal right now, so it wasn't good for her to be in here- yet, he brain did not assess the risks `nd wellbeing of every other cat within the den, only the poor stranger whom had been brought to the medicine den's domain. What monster would do this to a kit? The thought of someone harming a mere child this way... it was boundlessly sickening to the point where she doubted she could stomach it. But she had to- her pelt carried the earthy scents of herbs and it was her job to heal and nurture. That she would.

A gentle voice soothed the child as she assessed the wounds. The kit looked old enough to take a small dose of poppy seeds, and with her heart beating furiously in her ears, she pushed forward a small leaf with only three tiny seeds on it. "Lavender, is it...? Um, please eat these... it will help the pain stop." The wound upon her throat was the most concerning, and the eye was horrific to look upon- Birdpaw doubted even Hawkmoth would be able to save the latter. "I'm just going to give you some marigold, okay sweetie? It might sting a bit but I promise it will help you," she assured, voice as soft as she could make it. With said words, keeping herself calm, she would apply a poultice of marigold and chamomile to both of the wounds, wrapping them both tenderly in cobwebs over the top of the treatment.

RiverClan scent was not something highly familiar with Birdpaw, so when she sensed it in the cold air of leafbare. Really, she shouldn't have been out on her one- her bones ached in the cold, and one fall could be detrimental to her health. Nonetheless, she was here, eyes settling upon the small group of Riverclanners who stood at their border. She focused intently upon them, nervous to approach- her paws felt almost numb in her apprehension, or... maybe it was just the cold.

Nevertheless, duty called, and it pulled her toward the Riverclanners, golden gaze lingering upon them bashfully. "Uhm..." she hesitated, clearing her throat before beginning to speak in her gentle, honeyed tone. "Are... are you all alright? Nothing's wrong in RiverClan, right...?" she asked, voice quiet and withdrawn.

"Hm," she murmured in consideration, racking her brains about how she might teach another to be sneaky. There was no technique to the weightless way Birdpaw moved- it was simply how she naturally walked, with wispy, cautious and quiet steps. She did not believe Bearpaw was at all at fault for lumbering around- he was strong, brave, and she'd hate to face him in battle. But if he wanted to learn something from her, she would help, if only for the reason of getting to spend some time with him.

"Well... it might be better for a warrior to teach you, but I'll give it a go," she laughed, before crouching down and softening her voice. "So... I'd crouch like this. And.. um, pay a lot of attention to how I place my paws. Slowly, pawpad first," she murmured, doing so as she said it, her paws making barely any sound as she moved gradually forward.

Birdpaw was happy to see that Lavender was finally getting herself out there a bit, actively greeting people although shyly. Bearpaw had greeted her enthusiastically, and such a thing was amusing to see, though she hoped her gentle giant of a brother had not intimidated the poor little girl. A softened gaze of golden sunlight fell upon the sweet scene, of everyone treating this kit just as they would treat a Clanmate... Birdpaw supposed she was a Clanmate now. Quietly, the girl of feathered ebony would approach, her demeanour tender.

"Hello, Lavender... um, how are you holding up?" she asked, a sweet smile upon her face, hopefully reassuring to the child as she drew up in near-silence. Her large ears twitched at the question- what was a warrior...? Quickly, her gaze flickered from warrior to warrior, though she supposed the burden of a reply would fall upon her.

"Uh, a, uh... a warrior is a cat... a cat that has trained for moons to be able to care for their Clan, through, uhh... through hunting for food, or, or defending them in battle. Warriors make up the majority of the Clan," she explained, her face progressively heating up from the pressure of talking in front of everyone for such a long time.

"Birdpaw! Birdpaw hurry, Hollypaw is really hurt!"

She had done just that. The other apprentice, whilst on a hunt, had been scratched at by a rabbit across his chest. She was in such a hurry to get the right herbs together that the urges for her to speed up were only stressing her out and embarrassing her even more. When she had taken up the offer to be Hawkmoth's apprentice, she did indeed know that pressure would be highly involved in the job, but still... she couldn't deny the thumping of her heart, so vicious that it was sickening her. Deftly, she darted from the medicine den in the direction of the incident, panic in her eyes- Hollypaw's injured figure alongside another apprentice by the name of Cloudpaw, who had been the one calling her name, drifted into her sights, and she quickened her pace-

And then she fell. Hard, onto her side, and spent a few moments on the ground, stunned...

"Birdpaw, get up!" urged Cloudpaw impatiently, "You only fell like, a tail-length. Get up!"

She mumbled an apology, ignoring the pain that still lingered across her side as she cautiously made her way over. A headache, too, began to surge in her skull, but it wasn't because she'd hit her head... no, it was the kind of headache you got when you were trying to suppress tears.

- ✧ -

Later on that day, once Hollypaw had been treated, Birdpaw was found lingering around camp, a rather... lost look in her eyes. She was humiliated, and it still hurt where she had fell- it wasn't a burning agony, though. Just... a dull pain. She'd probably just bruised, but the fragility of her frame and her low pain threshold had probably made it all seem a lot worse. She sighed, looking toward the camp's entrance, the ground before her dusted with frost. She had never seen leaf bare before... it was rather beautiful, despite the suffering it brought for the Clans.

Her feelings were terribly conflicted... she was upset and angry at Cloudpaw for being so rude to her, firstly. They were friends- he knew of her condition, and how a simple fall could mean real harm for her. But... he was stressed, wasn't he? His friend had been hurt and she could have totally failed him by dawdling for too long after a minor fall. And he had too many good qualities to ever be bad in Birdpaw's eyes- he was so funny, and his fluffy cream pelt and blazing eyes of amber complimented each other so wonderfully well. She knew, later on, he'd make her laugh and he'd apologise for yelling. But for now... she would just sigh, idly pawing at the snow under her feet.

"Oh, Larkkit..." hummed Birdpaw, a terribly sad look in her honeyed eyes, though she did not wish for anyone to pay attention to her own upset. It was Larkkit that mattered, wasn't it? And everyone knew why. The poor sweetheart was scared- and rightfully so, for kits just like her had been whisked away from their families in the bitter cold. It was terribly concerning, and in reality there was little that the ebony apprentice and the rest of the Clan could to to reassure her. Because there was no way of knowing, namely- they were stuck, suspended in theories and wondering, and a shiver skittered along her delicate bones, but not from the cold. "Every time I go and collect herbs, I look for them, listen for their cries. And I know... um, I know the rest of WindClan is doing the same. With so many people looking for them, there is no way we will let them... let them die." she soothed, voice tender and gentle.

Her mentor and leader, both here to check on her.. it was heart-warming, really, and maybe is she wasn't feeling so wallow-y she might have grinned. But, all that graced her lips was a half-hearted smile, a fluttering of her eyelids and a flick of her feathered tail in greeting. She drew a shuddered breath from the air, thin shoulders rising with said breath, and dipped her head only slightly in silent greeting. "Oh, Duckstar, Hawkmoth..." she said, her greeting quiet and gentle. "Um... yeah, I'll be okay. I just... I hurt myself earlier. Not badly but, but it really shocked me," explained the medic, folding her ears back slightly in embarrassment.

She kneaded the ground with her dainty paws, flustered, Birdpaw added hurriedly, "It's just.. Cloudpaw yelled at me and I want to be upset with him but I'm not... I guess... I'm just a little bit confused. Sorry."

As Duckstar talked about the missing kits, Birdpaw's ears would fold back in distress and sadness. First Bumblekit, then Patchkit, and now Doekit- poor Larkkit, the other day, had been worrying about it... something heartbreaking and unnecessary, for a kit to be thinking about such hardships. Worrying was for adults and apprentices, not little kits. Great sadness rose in her heart for the children, taken from their mothers to who-knows-where. It was deeply worrying- who would be so sadistic as to harm helpless kits?

Still, hopefully this meeting would bring happier news despite the heaviness of the news Duckstar had bore first. Announcements of senior warriors, first- oh, wow, there were a lot of them! Whitelightning, Sparrowflight, Brightshine and Stormfeather- a vibrant bunch, and a deserving one. A gracious smile weaved itself upon Birdpaw's gentle maw, a congratulations without words for the moment- she could not find the energy. And the deputy- ah, Thornstep. She grinned toward Duckstar, thanking him for such a wonderful choice- and it occurred to her that he was the first leader in almost two moons to have actually named their deputy. The stars were blessing them, today! Or... maybe it was just Duckstar.

"Thornstep! Thornstep!" she cheered, her voice still noticeably quieter than most.

Oh, so it was Boasong handing out tasks this week? That sure was a change of pace, but Birdpaw was up for it. With a gentle smile carved upon her face, the girl of night sky would make her way over, with a gait as delicate as a raven's feather falling to the ground. A generally bright look upon her face despite the dullness that leafbare brought, she asked in a sweet tone, "May I have a task, Buh-Boasong?"

Seeing Sparrowflight approach, a feeling of relief rose in her gut. Despite her shy nature, she quite liked crowds- she could easily hide away within them, and the more cats to support her the better. The only time she didn't appreciate a crowd is when she had done something wrong, and they set several colours of judgemental eyes upon her- then, she could still cower and hide, but in fear.

Despite the fact she did not know Sparrowflight well, she still felt comforted by the other femme's presence. She knew Bearpaw trusted his mentor well, and anyone who was her brother's friend was her friend, too. Offering Sparrowflight a withdrawn but sincere smile, she spoke in a voice that still wavered as if she was holding back tears. Stars, she always felt so embarrassed when explaining things when in company. Her constant stuttering and false starts made her often look a fool. "Well... when I went to help Hollypaw today, I tripped and fell. I got so scared I'd hurt myself, ah-and... um... um... he... he yelled at me to get up. Buh-But I know he was just scared for Hollypaw," she murmured voice refusing to stop dawdling. "I know he didn't mean it."

Birdpaw, too, had been nearby- she had never considered the concept of teaching another cat about herbs. She was barely confident enough in her own abilities, despite her good memory and nose. Such was her ego, though... non-existent. Though, she supposed... despite Boasong already volunteering, she felt enticed to also give it ago. She'd eventually have to teach her own apprentice about herbs, so having Thornstep as a test subject (for lack of a better term) would be ideal for Boasong and herself to get practice in that field. Speedwalking as fast as her dainty legs could carry her, the small apprentice of charcoal stopped beside her fellow medic, piping up in a voice more enthusiastic than her typical tone, "Oh, I'll help too!"