Posts by EMBERTHROAT

As they stepped forward he looked upon all of them and his gaze became heavy lidded as if he was about to pass out or something of the sort. But he was contemplating the weight of the situation, the idea of it all. That this was a step they were taking which they could not walk back from or face death. Flicking his tail the injured demon got to his paws and made his way over to them, missing one currently but this would have to do for now. He would get to the other individual if he showed up. "You all know that this is an important step within Bloodclan as a whole. This is where you stand your ground, you do not falter and you show that you have the utmost loyalty to those that you have come to call your family. You will not betray them, nor harm them and you will die here within the folds of Bloodclan. In taking this oath you pledge your life and everything you have to this life and those that grow with you. Breaking this oath can mean death upon your head and you will not be able to return." His voice was low but moved with power as he stopped at Kronos, lifting the other's paw and carving an 'x' into the now member's pad. He moved on from Kronos to Lavendersouls and did the same before his large bulk came to stand in front of Nathanos. He was clearly troubled, there was a lot to be troubled by but he shifted his paw and moved to mark the other's pad with his claws. After this he stepped back and then turned to Bloodclan, lifting up his voice. "Welcome our newest members into the fold!" The echo and shouts that sprouted up made the leader feel something. But he was almost in a stupor as he moved on and perhaps it was because of his waning strength, the need to rest his injured body growing.

Swallowing he stormed forward, because he had other things he needed to go ahead and speak of. "For a moon we have been without a deputy but I have found in one particular cat who I think is worthy for such a rank. He has....been by my side for a long time." Hesitance. "Now I say this before all of Bloodclan that Bune will be the new deputy." His forested green eyes searched for the lilac tom for a moment as he released a breath and then shifted himself. Things were troubling but they were to get better he was sure and he curled his tail against his form as he slowly sat down. He had one other promotion to give as he searched for the persian among the crowd of cats. "Bianca you have proven that you have the skills to take charge and to help those before yourself. Thoughtful planning is what we need and thus I am promoting you to Head Guard along side Artemis. This leaves us without any guards and so that means that I will be watching with my deputy and head guards to see who is fitting for the position. This meeting is dismissed unless anyone has anything to say."

-- yeah you can go ahead and make a new thread for this so it can be public!

Days were slowly trickling by and things seemed okay. Seemed. But under the surface he felt like things were slowly cracking and breaking a part. He wasn't sure how he was going to fix it. How he was going to make things better and with what had happened with Artemis he was becoming more and more aware that perhaps he wasn't fit anymore to lead Bloodclan. A broken feline with a broken mind leading cats who needed a strong leader was something he saw in himself. A hindrance to what was necessary. He had long since left the church in a strange stupor, despite his wounds that were healing rather well now. He felt lost and out of touch and so much so that he just had to get away from camp. So he walked, a dusty path that led him closer to the Twolegplace before it curved off and he heard the soft trickling of water. His ears pulled forward slowly as he listened to it and he allowed his maw to take in the scent of the area. It was in fact water and he continued down the path till he saw it. Bright green leaves floated along the surface if the liquid and he drifted from the path to the water's edge, eyes of dull forest green shifting over it as he saw the fleeting movements of fish. His maw parted on a tired breath and he lifted a paw to his skull, feeling the throbbing against his head. "What can I do? I don't know how to make things better." Even his voice sounded hollow and he sat down there, still and withdrawn into his own mind.

"You blame us still for the crimes of cats that have long since passed from Bloodclan's threshold. Why?" He had no idea who this molly was that he was addressing, eyes squinted not because he was angered or upset over her words but because he was starting to have a strong headache marring his cranium. His wounds still bled freely and he struggled to even think about what she was going on about. His chest swelled as he tried to maintain a sitting up position despite the pain that ripped through his head and body. But he tried his best as he looked down to his own paws, closing his eyes for a short moment. "There is nothing I can do about the past and what those cats did to your clan. I wasn't even present during those times when your forest was burned or when your former leader was taken. And I doubt that most of the cats there would know personally those experiences and stories. But there are innocent cats there besides kits that are dying, cats that have broken limbs and we can not get to our greenhouse to help them because of the twolegs that broke our home over our own heads." He knew from experience that not every cat was a murderer, that not every cat wished to harm another unless it was the enemies that plagued Bloodclan. He knew this. He wished they did too.

He had no idea that she had lost her kits. But that still didn't mean she had the right to condemn his whole clan for the reckless actions of a single individual. His jaw was firm though and he realized that she didn't care about anything he had said. Whoever this molly was he supposed he would keep her in mind but there was nothing that he could do for her. What was done was done. Turning away from her he looked to another stranger, eyes searching over the young tom as he awaited for the verdict that he would give and relief funneled through his pain filled body as he lowered himself to lay upon the ground. Just that shock of relief had made him tired and he dipped his head in gratitude. "Thank you...."

His eyes widened suddenly as he listened to the next individual that came forth to speak and he knew very well that those were lies. His eyes shifted to Moonstar who didn't seem to be changing her mind and still would like to help his clan but he couldn't believe that Thunderclan would speak such lies out in public like this to slander his own clan. His trial curled against his own body as he watched Moonstar walk to him, heard her apology and he felt almost as broken as he did when the home that he couldn't even remember properly had fallen on him. "But she's speaking lies about me. I never gave permission for any one of them to do anything of the sort. If she isn't coming to help those in need of it then she shouldn't come at all. I won't have the death of someone on my paws because she decided they weren't worth her effort." If he had to help and struggle through his own pains and wounds to make sure that Viperpaw had all the help that he could get then so be it. But he wouldn't allow someone who was able to tell lies so confidently to come to his clan and pass judgement over those who were injured. "I'm ready to go when you are but she stays here."

His eyes opened up and he allowed them to travel over where he saw the large black shadow of bloodclan. The kit that often seemed to keep to himself then to allow anyone to really get to know him. He...didn't remember his name and that just seemed to make him feel worse than he did. His jaws parted as if he was about to say something but he stopped there and snapped it shout, looking apologetic before he beckoned with his tail for the other to come closer and sit with him and if he did he would give a soft sigh, a tired breath. "I'm sorry..." He was sorry for everything, for forgetting his name. For not being the leader that could protect he and his family. He was trying but he didn't think it was going to be enough. "Things are tough right now...and I'll do what I can to make things better." His ear angled back though as footsteps approached and he turned to look at Nova, another face that he was struggling to remember but he took in her words. Be the leaf. Survive, and float. He felt as if he was indeed suffocating, thrashing to hold himself up and he gave a small chuckle. "Everything is usually easier said than done but I appreciate the words. I'll take that advice going forward."

His eyes looked to both Wick and Nova as they both spoke up on the circumstances and he gave a light nod for he was marginally in agreement with the both of them. What as an alliance worth if there was no trust? Yet, this statement also had him thinking on Thunderclan and his friendship with Moonstar, so recent that his mind didn't allow for him to forget it. His jaw became tense before he released the breath he was holding. Things were tricky enough and he flicked his tail almost thoughtfully. "To me it's sudden...I don't remember who she is really. But I've been told that her behavior has been going on like this for some time, during my early moons of deputyship. And if Minnowstar doesn't know by now then she's blind to what her deputy has been doing against her. But if you want I will go there and speak to Minnowstar in private and see if she wishes to do anything about it.

Stepping forward with a small limp in his step the male would go forth with his thoughts. It had been for a long while he had to admit, something he struggled to understand but he also knew dangerous. The large somali would pause upon the step of the church, not bothering to actually enter the place because he was sure that with the comings and goings that his message would be heard one way or the other. Lifting his voice up he would call out. "Bloodclan, I have something to say!" With that the monster would sit, eyes gleaming in the fading light of dusk. His jaw was clenched as he curled his tail around his body, chest rising and falling gently. The fading sun cast his body in such deep red that it looked as if his form was coated in blood. His maw parted as he curled his muzzle, eyes narrowing with many different thoughts before he moved on as he watched figures emerge from around him. "For a while now we have been without a healer. I know these times are rough and I'm sorry but Aurora is no longer fit to be our Healer. From today forward we will be looking for someone to take her place. Who will dedicate themselves to teaching Viperpaw and helping our sick and injured."

The rain pelted down, a steady stream of tears from the sky. Reflecting his own madness, his own despair. Move faster, he should have moved faster should have been quicker. Jerked harder, thrashed like the mad wild animal that he was but he was weak. He was nothing compared to them and it showed how ruthless that they were. Those creatures that walked upright and had no fur upon their bodies. Twolegs, and their depraved dogs. It was always them wasn't it, they ruined everything and never thought once about what they did to their own lives. He was soaked to the bone, thick and long fur dragging him down and causing more weight then he needed right now but he couldn't stop because if he did he would surely break. And there would be nothing left, everything would be sucked out of him and he would become nothing more than a hollowed husk, a walking corpse himself with no mind. Nothing. The world had grown cold and bleak yet he marched on dragging the body with him. No, not a body. She was still with him, ha. She had to be right? Yes. She was still with him and would always be with him. They would fix her up, patch her up. Thing would be normal again and they would be happy again.

Entrails dragged across the ground, blood having long since stopped spilling and leaving trail behind the body. They had gone too far, much too far to get help and so this was the only viable answer. They were closer to them and he had to try, he had to try. He couldn't give up on her. He wouldn't. The border smelled freshly marked though fading now with the pattering rain that dripped along the needles of pine trees, crossed some ago. The bog of the marsh lifting up into the air. Help me. Help us. His mind was spiraling again as he carefully placed Ruth's body now growing cold upon the ground. "They'll help us. You'll be fine...you'll be okay. Just...rest for a bit okay." Rest, she needed rest. She'll wake up. Suddenly he turned into the forest of pine trees. "Help! Someone please! Please help us!" His voice was a harsh caterwaul into the night air before he turned to pressed his head against the disemboweled corpse of his mate. Ruth was long gone, the wounds had been fatal yet he couldn't let her go. He couldn't. "Please, please, you'll be okay my sweet bird. You'll be fine and then we can...we can start that family you always wanted to. That'll be great right. Like we planned....like we always planned...."

The appearance of a smokey grey figure made him turn to look at them, his eyes widening a bit as his jaws parted so that he could continue his pleading. But his name spilled from the molly's maw and he blinked once, though his gaze seemed like he was looking right through her but his voice came out roughly. "Wolf...heart?" Strained and weak he would try to collect himself but there was nothing to collect. All the pieces of him had been shattered back there in that ark pit the twolegs had created for their own amusement and entertainment. Yes, Shadowclan. He'd come here for help. He remembered that much, the direction he had traveled as he carried his fallen mate along the streets and pathways of Twolegplace. But he couldn't really remember names in this moment. Icefeather and Oliveslip. Regardless that meant more cats and that meant more help for Ruth. So he relented then and when she moved to Ruth he instinctively moved to help her, shifting his beloved across the ground with the utmost care and underneath the nearby tree. He couldn't help but watch her, his brain tricking him into believe that she was still breathing, that she was merely sleeping. She needed the rest after what she had gone through.

But he had to take his gaze off her, not wanting to, to look back to Wolfheart as she asked him what had happened. He almost felt like he was going to be sick and maybe he had already been but he swallowed thickly. Memories flashed of cages closing on them, not being able to run. Being carried to some basement of a twoleg house. The baying of the hounds was the worst part of it, fur rising and hackles raised. He didn't even know his own breathing was turning into sharp gasps before he clenched his eyes closed shut tightly against the memories. The sound of the cage being torn a part, the cries spilling from his lips. "I..I can't.... just please help her. Someone...." He breathed out harshly as he pulled his ears against his own skull. His mouth felt dry as he looked back to Ruth once again to make sure that all was well before he heard pawsteps and his eyes lifted up to see other cats coming into the area. Would they help? Why were they just standing there. Although he didn't have much time to react when Tansyface started speaking and he felt the rage bubble up in him. "Shut your craven mouth! She is not a that!" He couldn't help the sharpness in his voice before he turned away from the molly altogether, her words jumbled and meaningless. At odds with the situation at hand as she continued to ramble on, an echo on it's last ring.

His head pressed against Ruth's then, taking in her scent despite the blood that was too telling of the situation. His tongue swiped along her forehead, gently grooming her fur. Careful, careful of the torn flesh, the congealed blood. More cats were coming now and he allowed his eyes to look up, tears brimming along the edges of his emerald green gaze as he looked at the next feline that started to speak and now his heart finally cracked, shattering as he felt the world fall away from him. "No...no, no, no.... Don't tell me that....just don't. Please you, you can do something." The tears fell, like a small running stream down his cheeks to drop into the fur of the one that meant the most to him in this world. His voice cracked audibly in pain as he looked back down to the woman whom had given him everything and asked for nothing in return. His nose pressed against her neck as he choked back his own sobs. But he knew it. He knew it the moment he saw the dog go for her, effortlessly throwing her around. It was his fault. He'd been too late, not fast enough. Never fast enough. "Please....please just give her back to me. Starclan please..." Mournful whispering took hold of him as he stared down at the corpse now. It was a corpse, no longer was Ruth's soul gracing the lovely form and she was gone from him. On a different plane of existence. Rather with Starclan or the Dark Forest he didn't know. But he knew she was too good for the Dark Forest. Starclan had her.

His blurry gaze lifted up and he looked at the sky, feeling the rain slip down his face and it had hid his tears for the most part. Sorry for his loss. His loss. There was nothing left now but a broken tom upon the ground. Finality ringing in the air and he'd never again hear her voice, her soft teases. Her warmth would forever be a distant memory of what could have been, what they had held together. A pained whimper left his throat and he couldn't even fathom being checked out and looked over. He didn't matter, he never mattered. "I...b...I have to bury....her...." It was so hard to choke out that sentence, something he had never thought he would be saying right now in this moment. He struggled with the notion of even having to do the action and he would probably have to do it alone. All alone. Everything weighted so hard on his heart and he looked to Wolfheart then and the rest. Shadowclan.... they hated him he could guess one way or another. But would they help him...bury her?

so wild here is in deep deep grieving with his mate having been killed and he could do nothing to stop it from happening. currently i'm hoping he will be accepted into shadowclan though they may not see him around too often as he will be in mourning. he will be eating much less and hanging around ruth's grave, barely sleeping. patrols he will most likely do alone so that others don't see him break down. he won't be attending big clan stuff or large patrols, anything crowd related

but i wanted to open him up for plots as he struggles with his loss and develops on from that

he is open to having friends, new enemies, rivals, cuddle threads ahh, anything really

yeah! he would definitely be up for a little chatter if rat were to stumble upon him really since she will be the only one there

who makes??

There was nothing for him to do. He had to succumb to the fate that he was given. he couldn't reverse time, take back what happened. Nothing, there was no solution for him to go through but move forward. Without her. The idea of it tore him a part, he had always thought they would grow old together, with white hairs growing around their muzzles. That they would have their family and be able to live together peacefully. But all of that was shattered, a future pulling away from him and something he would never had. It hurt like claws digging into his heart and he closed his eyes before he swallowed thickly. Wolfheart would help him bury her, Icefeather said the same but the notion of having to do it at all was torture. But he spoke, after hearing another volunteer to help with the deed. "Al...alright. I, let's take her over there..." It was a different spot, one that he had moved quickly through that he motioned with his tail. A tree billowing with hanging limbs that dragged against the ground. He wanted her buried underneath there near the border. Closing his eyes he turned to look at her body before he gently grabbed her scruff and began to carry Ruth over there and once there he slowly, taxingly began to dig through the mud and muck to put her in the ground.

Since being here, joining, whatever this state of being was he had been keeping to himself. Hanging more often then not around the willow tree where his beloved had been buried. His heart ached and everyday he was reminded that he would never hear her voice or feel the warmth of her body against his own. The wound felt so raw and some days he didn't even leave the grave at all. Merely watched it with blank eyes and a stare that could go on for miles. He knew that there were warriors watching him. Keeping an eye on him but he never paid them any attention. Because they didn't matter. His world had grown so small now and he sat and he watched. So the things that had been happening in the past few days he knew nothing about and he had yet to even step one paw into Shadowclan's camp. Slowly breath eased from his throat and he pushed himself up from where he had been attempting to semblance if sleep. His stomach had long ago stopped warning him of starvation. But he knew he had to eat something. To hold on to this life he had. Swallowing he stepped away from the grave, hesitation drawing him up for a moment before he looked back. "I'll be back..." His voice was a soft murmur before he moved.

The scents of others were there and he lifted his dead emerald gaze to see Shadowclan warriors watching him. What did they hope to find he wondered? A withering fool that was slowly wasting away? But his mind was pulled back to hunting, food. The want to eat barely there and he sighed as he lowered his muzzle, pulling in the scents around him. Something was nearby and he dragged himself to go and find what it could possibly be. Maybe a frog, or a lizard.

Rasping breath, eyes slightly open that peered into nothing set into a face that held nothing but grief within it. He hadn't moved in days it seemed and he wondered if he ever would again. His body was still, curled up on top of the dirt that had been disturbed days before. The grave of his beloved that he had no intention of abandoning. His ears pulled slightly to the side though when he heard approaching pawsteps, the soft brush of steps against moistened grass and he lifted his head up to see who it could possibly be. At first he merely thought it was some type of change in shifts though it had already happened recently. They always monitored him anyway and he didn't find reason to be insulted by it. He found little reason with anything anymore. But the feline that looked upon him now made his head tilt slightly. His ears pulled away then and he turned his head away to rest them back on his paws where he laid. But her words greeted him just the same. He had little energy in which to find to care and his eyes closed as he remained where he was. "Fit in?" He began sluggishly as he tried to convey some type of meaning to his words. "I didn't come to fit in. Not something I expected." Low toned voice was much like that of a ghost's whisper before he turned slightly to look at Tansyface then. "Did you need something? Or...just to make me feel something?"

He's been out here quite a while and actually he hadn't left. The whole time since he had to put her in the ground he had not left this grave. He couldn't force himself to do it. So he just didn't. Everything else became second nature. The need to eat had long since been subdued and he hardly moved. But now that someone's voice cut through the silence that seemed to stretch on forever the male shifted himself. Stiff limbs shaking as he tried to get them to move but he felt tired, as if he had collapsed in on himself and he just didn't want to go anywhere. But he did. He forced himself to sit up from where he had been laying and he allowed his gaze to turn and focus on the black feline that had approached him. Slowly he narrowed this dulled emeralds of his and he tried to put a name to the face he was seeing. She had helped him with burying Ruth. That much was certain and then he suddenly blurted from his maw. "Thank you..." His voice had taken on a rasp from disuse and he had to clear his throat for a moment before shaking his head a little. He was sorry for the way he appeared he supposed but he didn't try to sugar coat anything. Glancing to one of his guards he was given a light nod before he moved away from the grave. "What brings you all the way out here?"