Hurricanegaze was strictly confined to his nest. Even when he'd heard the male's call, he hadn't moved. It was only when Juniperthorn avoided the word "death" that he got up. Because this way, it wasn't because Lavenderstar was dead. It was only because the leadership was changing. Now he got out of the den and slithered in front of Juniperthorn, a blank expression painted on a bleak and hurting face. He wasn't sure who to go with or where. Riverclan was still a little creepy to him — water wasn't his friend — and Windclan was too painful. Rulindil was no longer the leader which meant he would be greeted by strangers he cared nothing about. He would be greeted by the people who dethroned and scared the guy he loved away. "I'll go wherever." The words finally rolled out and a few moments of trying to surpass the knot in his throat.

    Perhaps one day the dullness that Rulindil's absence was causing would fade, but he wasn't sure. Rulindil had made him happier than he had been in a long long time. It wasn't that Skyclan didn't give him that same joy — it honestly did — but Rulindil gave him romance. He looked up to see Heronswoop, a twitch of jealousy striking him as he realized that she had her forever soulmate. He thought he had found that. But then he reminded himself that she was very kind and that they made a great couple. "I'm doing okay." He admitted, after a brief pause. "How are you doing?"

    Strangely, Hurricanegaze was fully numb. He didn't understand anything that was happening. He had the lavender that he'd planted in her memory gripped tightly in his jaws. It was locked in anger, in confusion, but not in sadness. He wasn't sad. He wasn't feeling it. He had seen her body. But she hadn't seen him. She hadn't know that he was there for her. She hadn't know he loved her like a weird mix of a mother and a fun aunt. He walked up after Juniperthorn. "Lavenderstar." He stopped for a moment, a brick weighing down his throat. "You taught me everything I know. I... I probably wouldn't be alive today if you hadn't shown me that I had worth." He watched as the wind blew the trees in his peripheral vision. "I'm never going to stop thinking of you. You were my family. You were all of my family. Lavenderstar, honestly you were my life." He felt the tears now, straining his eyes "I'll see you later, you old lady." He smiled, the tears falling down. "It's not goodbye." He told himself before backing off, though he was still going to sit vigil.

    He felt nothing. From atop the bridge he could see the woman address his clan mates but it didn't mean anything to him. He knew Heronswoop would do good, there was no question. He just didn't understand why Lavenderstar had to die in order for her to lead. He didn't understand this. Lav didn't have his permission to die. He didn't say she could, he didn't tell her that he was okay now, he didn't tell her that he was totally fine, he didn't tell her that he didn't need guidance anymore. Who had let Death rip the last bit of life that his former mentor had? He didn't understand this. With a blank expression, he nodded to Heronswoop before finding his way back to his nest.

    Perhaps it was his sleepy quality — or perhaps habit? — that caused him to miss her death. Hurricanegaze would never forgive himself for the moment he realized that nobody else was around him. Somehow he found his way around then saw her lying there. He dropped to the floor, a few feet away from the others. Lying there surrounded by the clan, Lav's dead body near him, crushed him. He couldn't feel anything. What was happening? He didn't understand this. He didn't get why this was fair.

    The gray cat stretched, allowing the new sun to warm his pelt with a smile. The past few days had been confusing, especially after hearing that Rulindil had disappeared. He felt pain. Other than that, he guessed he felt fine. It really hurt him and he was slightly worried but only the future would tell what could happen.

    // heronswoop

    Hurricanegaze felt no overwhelming urge to spill his familial problems. They were already obvious so he was sure that Cobracry had heard of them. The difference was that Cane had chucked Foxgrin out the window, and now only considered his siblings to be his family. He thought of saying something but nothing would really make it work. Foxgrin still didn't even approve of what he was doing, even though being a mediator was so important to him. "Mind if I sit, you guys?"

    News spread quickly through the clans, though maybe not as quickly as Cane hoped. All Cane knew was that Rulindil was hurt somehow and he didn't even know to what extent. He also didn't know that the brown tabby had gone away on a mission. Cane couldn't even remember if they had a true or a neutrality or whatever it was. He couldn't tell if he was just here on friendly terms of concern or strictly because of the hints of feelings that were lingering into him. Sitting patiently, Hurricanegaze awaited the approach of windclanners.

    By the Skyclan and Bloodclan border lay a bouquet of gently tosses flowers. In the mix was some lavender —picked from Cane's tribute to Lavenderstar — some roses, and a few daises, Cane's favorite. Skyclan scent was littered on the bouquet but it wouldn't only be thought of because of how close the Skyclan border was. Though the flowers were on the Bloodclan side, they weren't placed as if they were a gift. To many others it would just be seen as some weirdly placed flowers, but Hurricanegaze knew that Bune would understand that they were. And so, they were left unbothered.

    // BUNE