Posts by tansystar

"Yeah?" Tansyface replied. Perhaps just an acknowledgement of their observation, perhaps an invitation to continue speaking. She fell in stride by Shatteredsong, keeping careful pace next to the other warrior. Part of Tansyface wanted to ask why Shatteredsong even cared- but Tansyface knew that was unreasonable. Shatteredsong was her friend, of course they would care about who Tansyface associated herself with.

name: Tansyface

gender: She-Cat

clan: ShadowClan

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That blessed, thoughtless calm that took over Tansyface's mind disappeared, gone as quick as a startled fish in murky water. It was some feral instinct that made her lash out, gnashing what was left of her teeth at Turtlepaw and Eveningshade, missing Eveningshade by kitten-steps. The world crashed back into color and sound, understanding coming to Tansyface slower than sensation. First: her mouth hurt. Second: this was her fault.

She gasped, then fell into a sputtering mess, coughing until her lungs were clear of any blood that may have made it's way down. "Leave me be." She croaked out, then immediately followed it up with, "I can't be alone right now." She was aware, hyperaware, of how she had to move her mouth to speak. Every motion seemed to bring a new shock of pain, nudging her loose teeth just enough to be felt.

"There is nothing for Icefeather to fix," I am not broken. Tansyface had lied about the bald patches, now patch, on her leg, claiming it was as a result of malnutrition. That could no longer account for the scabs, how the patch was ever growing, and now, Tansyface had set her teeth to the wrong thing, and everybody would know.

name: Tansyface

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Tansyface was almost content to watch Moonfeather leave. Almost, almost, almost. There was a feeling, a small, nagging feeling, that pushed Tansyface forward, made her tail Moonfeather. "Sunspark is the dead alive again, you said? What of you? And of me? Surely you don't give that speech to all, and you said you- you see potential in me?" And like that, Tansyface was a kit again, one ignored, one who refused to let that continue. One who keened for any look her way, any acknowledgement, any proof that she was real and worth loving.

"I'd think myself smart, so that has to be the reason, doesn't it? I was part of whatever- I was part of your family before?" This opened a world of possibilities, another life that Tansyface didn't know. It was the only reason, the only true reason, why Tansyface believed she would be welcomed into the family. The only reason the offer was made in the first place, obviously. Tansyface had known all along of her importance, her merit, and now the pieces fell together. She had been looking in the wrong spots, searching the wrong life. Tansyface would learn who she was before, and from that, she could learn where to go from here.

name: Tansyface

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"I want a family." It sounded like a promise, like something binding, and Tansyface wished she could take the words back as soon as they left. She wanted time to think, but it appeared that her mouth had made the choice for her. Tansyface couldn't backtrack now, couldn't undo what was said, "If you are serious about this, I mean. I will not take kindly to tricks."

name: Tansyface

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Tansyface still felt confused of it all. This was not the night of a gathering, so there was no truce, other than the one held by the individuals, for Tansyface to honor. No reason, other than being supposed family, that stopped these cats from fighting. Who all was even part of this family? If it was only cats of ShadowClan, there was no need for these cats to make their way to fourtrees, so there had to be other clans attending. Just how far did this go?

The thought of being part of something so big excited Tansyface. Like an apprentice at their first gathering, Tansyface bounced about, oblivious to the more somber tones of her clanmates. "The truce is only on the full moon, so are we sure we are safe?" Without the moon's glow to illuminate the forest, the path to fourtrees looked different, felt new. Tansyface was looking at her future, feeling it creep up on her in the most welcome of ways. She allowed herself to feel hopeful.

name: Tansyface

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Oh, so that's where this was going. Tansyface stopped a moment to look Shatteredsong over, inspecting them for... something. Tansyface didn't really know what she was looking for, but she snorted when she didn't find it. "No, nothing like that. I was bored and flirted with Sunpelt? Sunflame? What's his name? Spark! Anyway, Moonfeather was pretty upset about it. He didn't seem all that upset, but Moonfeather wanted me to back off. I thought it better that I didn't get between a ready-to-pop queen and her mate." Shatteredsong wouldn't understand, and so Tansyface wouldn't tell them. Simple. She didn't want to cause a rift between herself and the one other that she trusted, and while Tansyface was typically one to speak her mind, she could see this was a conversation that would leave both of them upset.

"I don't see them as too far. They are strong of faith, as I am, more than I am in many ways. It has to be a good thing, believing so strongly in a cause and in StarClan. Even if I kind of really want to scratch Moonfeather's whiskers off." Tansyface bumped her hip into Shatteredsong's, the motion playful. Then, without so much of a warning, Tansyface took off, streaking forward and laughing as she ran.

name: Tansyface

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Tansyface found herself suddenly on her back, staring up at Shatteredsong's miss-matched eyes. She was stunned into silence for a moment as she admired her friend, "Wow." Whisper quiet, barely there. Something that could be mistaken for a breath. Shatteredsong really was striking. She thought back to when she thought of Shatteredsong's eyes as offputting, something that made her uncomfortable, but Tansyface was different now, different in a lot of ways she was just finding out herself.

"You've got me... for now." Tansyface nudged her hindlegs into Shatteredsong's belly, not enough force to knock them off, but enough to let them know that she wanted up. As much as the light in this position suited Shatteredsong, Tansyface was pretty sure she could feel part of a pinecone poking the small of her back under the snow, "One day I'll be the one to pin you, just you wait."

name: Tansyface

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Tansyface pushed herself up to her paws, letting out an exaggerated grunt as she did so. Everything she did was show, it felt like. Glamour all the way down. (When she ran, Tansyface wasn’t worried about such things. She focused instead on how the cold air felt against her fur, how thrilling it would be to win an impromptu race.) “What now?” She echoed, almost as softly as Shatteredsong had asked.

The question left Tansyface with a feeling of trepidation. It felt loaded, like there was more than just the obvious answer. Did Shatteredsong feel it to, whatever it was? Tansyface... couldn’t deal with it right now and put some space between herself and Shatteredsong, just a few steps. It felt as wide and deep as the gorge, just as impossible to cross with a leap. “We are going to the carrionplace, remember? The shiny thing? I want something to carry about and admire, or maybe I can put it in my nest. I haven’t decided yet. I bet we can get something for you, and the whole of ShadowClan will be jealous of the two of us.”

name: Tansyface

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It was a safe assumption that this wasn’t how these particular meetings were supposed to go. It was strange, a bit startling, for Tansyface’s first meeting to be one memorable. Still, Tansyface expected as much from one such as herself. He had an enigmatic aura about him, a curiosity that Tansyface wanted to sate.

“Current of Steady River,” What a mouthful! How were tribe cats not always out of breath? “You are outnumbered and unwelcome here, it appears. Although you spoke as if the whole of we share blood. Are you kin of one of the clans? As well as the tribes, or instead of?” The last part was whispered, a scandalous thought. That would mean that he had left clan life to share-tongues with the tribe. That he banished his old, noble name for somerhing archaic. Or was he a kitten, stolen away from his home, in a role he never chose but too burdoned by to leave? Tansyface knew very little about the tribe, about their customs, but Stoneteller-to-be sounded important.

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Seeing the new guy staring down a clump of snow like it was a kit on fire was sure something, alright. Tansyface dropped her kill, a scrawny crow, and gave Abraham a crooked toothed smile. Full of tension, pulled awkwardly over her gums, the smile dropped as soon as it came. “You look unwell, Abraham. Is there...?”

Tansyface trailed off, looked between Abraham and the general direction of the source of Abraham’s horror, just in case Tansyface was missing it and making a fool out of herself by not reacting. Almost experimentally, Tansyface wrinkled her nose and squinted her eyes, an immatation of disgust. Something so horrifying had to be disgusting as well, right? Any false horror would be obviously fake, Tansyface knew, as she hoped her expression was appropriate.

name: Tansyface

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Tansyface sat in front of the gathering crowd, her expression sour, directed at Ratstar. Pigeonpaw was also there sitting next to Cloverpaw, in an amazing track post.

name: Tansyface

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The discomfort of silence was new. Conversation was supposed to lapse, supposed to fall and rise again. Tansyface wanted to speak, to fill that silence with noise, meaningless blathering until she didn’t have to-

What? Tansyface didn’t know, didn’t dwell. Shatteredsong seemed to have things on their mind, so Tansyface didn’t try to broach the silence. Arriving at the carrionplace made Tansyface realize how little she wanted to pick through this filth, but the shiny thing would be worth it. Dutifully, she began sorting through the piles, scratching small, useless things out of the way. Her nose wrinkled up, "You don’t have to be here. I can search alone, and if you are worried about your own shiny thing, well, I can bring you something back." This place had an undeniable odor, afterall.

Tansyface startled at the outburst, her fur briefly bushing outward before it laid flat once again. "Stop wanting for what has gone. Jasminespice isn’t here, Tangynectar is in RiverClan." That still stung. Tansyface was never enough, never. Did Tangy feel their absence as deeply as herself and Shatteredsong felt Tangy’s? Whatever. It didn’t matter anymore.

“This was a bad idea. You’re uncomfortable and-” Tansyface paused as she kicked a bit of rubble, “You know we are friends, right? I only suggested you leave because this place smells. With all that fluff, I didn’t want you carrying this around with you. We’ll always- we’re friends, right?” Thinking of what had passed filled Tansyface with the need for confirmation, to hear Shatteredsong say that they still considered Tansyface a friend.

name: Tansyface

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"You'd be a fool not to have me as a friend." The whole of ShadowClan was fools then, it felt like. Save for Moonfeather and her family, who promised her things sweeter than honey and just as hard to find. Shatteredsong's distaste for them was evident, something Tansyface didn't want to stir. She didn't want to cause a confrontation, it was best kept secret for now. Until Shatteredsong was at a point that they would understand, at least. A rat scuffled inside of the pile that Tansyface stood on, not unaware of the presence of the two cats, but unafraid. Tansyface ignored it for now, killing one would cause the whole lot of them to wake, and fighting off rats wasn't Tansyface's idea of a fun night.

"You apologize for nothing. Next you'll say sorry for every chilled breeze that comes our way! Such things are not your fault, but the will of StarClan." Funny how Tansyface couldn't apply that thought to herself. Things went bad in her life, things that were certainly her fault. She was too much, she wasn't enough. She spoke in circles and forgot the truth. Vapid and vain, with the depth of the puddle. "Lets just- it's getting colder. I saw something glinting over there, surely it is what I am looking for."

Tansyface picked her way down the junk pile, sidestepping anything that looked particularly sharp or foreign. Once at the bottom, Tansyface waited a moment to see if Shatteredsong was following, then made her way towards the object she had indicated. It was partially buried, something Tansyface was quick to fix. Flat and a shiny gray, no bigger than Tansyface's paw, with two large holes in it. Small enough that Tansyface could carry it around or tuck it in her nest, just as she had wished for. She picked it up delicately and nodded to Shatteredsong, to indicate that she had found what she had wanted.

//tansy loves her new soda tab jbhihokjbk

name: Tansyface

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Oh. Okay. This wasn't Tansyface missing something obvious, but perhaps Abraham having a vision. An omen? She scooted closer to him, observing him. Moonfeather had acted as if Tansyface had a place in this family, but Abraham was seeing something that was not for her eyes. It stung a little, but it also proved that Tansyface would just have to devote herself harder to truly ascend. "I think it's a vision from StarClan, for it is nothing I can see. Describe it, if you will." Even if Tansyface couldn't see it, she could still be a part of this.

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clan: ShadowClan

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