Posts by BILLIE --

^{Wilhelmina had done a bit of gardening back in the desert and understood the basics, but. . . Being a desert, she hardly had the greatest success at it when she tried her paw at it before. The healer was definitely interested in dipping her paw more seriously into the discipline now that she was back at Mt. Kodiak, but where would she start? She had an idea of starting small and then going from there, perhaps fashioning some kind of mini-garden out of a box on her porch. Then she could expand once she had more free-time, and blueprints of how to proceed. "Everyone has to start somewhere," is what she says, limping way towards the duo with twitching whiskers. There's a smile on her face that carries to her eyes, brightening her verdant gaze as she looks at the mess of a tomato. "Maybe you'll end up with a few more of those giant tomatoes," she purred to Pan, supposing that sizes of vegetables must be influenced, at least in part, by genetics. "Do you plan to grow anything else?"}

^{Wilhelmina had reversed in the opposite direction of her (evil) twin.}

<sup>When she awoke that morning in her room of herbs and spices, she immediately thought that everything seemed bigger. Her nest felt roomier, which was quite nice, but when she opened her eyes and stared across the den towards Ezra's sapling, she thought it looked near monstrous -- That was her first hint that something was definitely not right there. Although Billie had always been small, she now stood teetering about within her room much, much, smaller than she had been in seasons. It was as if she had reverted back to kithood, perhaps a month old in terms of size and only just tasting her first nibbles of solid food. Her fur, previously smooth, lush, and well maintained, was quite fuzzy and downy. Baby fur.

It is with bewilderment that she exits her room, finding two incredibly familiar looking puppies - Ver? Evergreen - and one upper-middle-aged Elian. What? How could he stay an adult but the rest of them were kids? Still, she supposed it was better to stay young than to get boosted up closer to the rapid degradation that came with old age. It's. . . A blessing, maybe.</sup>

^{"I have no idea what's going on," she meowled, voice squeaky as she settles her haunches onto the ground, sighing exasperatedly.}

^{Wilhelmina was technically an Earthling by birth, just a little girl when the world collision occurred, still in early childhood. She was young enough to remember the first world, but only in slivers, the few snippets she had been able to see in her short few moons there. It was indeed Agrelos that had shaped her, in more ways than one; it was her world, the magical one that she knew well and understood intimately in her vast travels. However, she wouldn't dare to call herself a native, or even compare her experiences to a natal Agrelosian's. To do so would be incredibly disrespectful to the lives the clan cats had displaced, reaping chaos in a world that was once peaceful. She would not, could not, forget that the Kinship Circle was now gone, not before being tainted by the evils that only Earth could bring.}

<sup>With that said, her paws were certainly shaped by Agrelos, and her memories of Earth were sparse. Her children were to be born there, though, never knowing about the world before them -- Perhaps they could start something new, something wonderful, in their wake. The queen had high hopes for her litter, but did indeed fret about whether or not she could keep them adequately safe. Pursing her maw together, she would turn as another figure appeared near her den-site; another new clan-mate, unfamiliar, but not an unwelcome presence. She was eager to get to know all the Haveners, and she was pleased that two creatures had chosen to attend her housewarming.

And though she didn't look forward to them, she had expected some awkward questions. Honesty was the best policy, and she did not want to start her new life in Mt. Kodiak with secrets.</sup>

<sup>"I joined here initially when I fled from my birth home after experiencing a great deal of trauma," explained the fem as she nodded to Mojave. "I grew up here, at least I graduated kitten hood and entered adolescence in one piece -- I was even a healer here for a short while. But I decided to retire from my position, I had intended only to relax for awhile in solitude, but I ended up venturing out of the territory. Isolation has a way of sinking its teeth into you, you know? I ended up drifting out one day, and just not turning back. I traveled Agrelos for many seasons on my own, and when I decided to reunite with the clans again I initially joined my place of birth - The Sanguine Ruins."

In truth, she hadn't a good reason for going there instead of to Amalfi Heights, apart from perhaps wanting to see if she had family left; her childhood memories of the desert were poor (an understatement). During her journeys she had deemed it to be her purpose to bring about a peaceful lifestyle to the anti-clans, to help shape Agrelos into what it had once been. She thought that if she worked for this cause tirelessly, she could make a difference. Wilhelmina now believed this to be futile, and in fact thought that the opposite had happened: The Ruins had ruined her, tainting her, instead of her influencing them for the better. She grit down her teeth at this memory.

"Anyway -- I'm back now for a lot of reasons. The Haven, the Heights as it was called when I lived here, always has had a special place in my heart. I'm expecting kittens and I decided that this is where I would like to raise them."

As she offers her explanation, she looks between the two and returns the question, "And what made the two of you come here?"</sup>

^{"Eating it raw is good for digestion, too," Billie would offer her own knowledge on the subject, watching as Cass dirtied the unicorn with a frown.}

^{Wilhelmina wasn't sure about romanticizing winter; in the Harrow Desert, it was constantly cold, and warm mountain air was a blessing to her in this regard. Both Mojave and Cassiopeia spoke positively about the cold seasons, but she couldn't understand it. Perhaps that was because she had hibernated during her first winter, more or less. Tucking away in the southern parts of Agrelos, sleeping most of the darker days away. "I've never seen Mt. Kodiak during the winter. It must be pretty, I imagine it gets a lot of snow?" Is all she says, trying to picture the mountaintops covered in a white powder.}

^{Verdant eyes would light up at Pan's stammered response, their experiences similar in his description. Billie was a healer by nature, and had only ever really tried to cultivate small patches of useful herbs. If she were honest, that was where her allure of the field remained the strongest, but she was still interested in growing a few vegetables at a point. She supposed she would need to research what plants would be appropriate for autumn, as summer was dwindling away at the speed of light. The rabbit was almost certainly on the right track with his pumpkin idea, however. The grey she-cat spoke after a moment, tone thoughtful, "I'm in the same boat as you. Produce is something new entirely for me -- So I'll be learning about it right alongside of you. I've gardened a bit, but neither the dirt or the climate is very hospitable for plants back in my other home. I might start with just a small herb garden and work up from there."}

^{Wilhelmina was trying to develop some sort of a schedule as she began to share living spaces between Mt. Kodiak and the Harrow Desert. It was a long journey between the groups, and took the better part of a day to get back and forth; with that said, it was impracticable to spend one day at the Haven and one day at the Ruins. Instead she thought it to be best to spend a week in one territory, then a week in the other, but that also left the conflict of falling behind in her duties as physician of the cold desert-- and missing things in either group. It was a balancing act; Billie had never taken a dual alliance before, and it was a lot to get used to, especially when her heart urged her to never leave the salvation permitted in the mountain dwelling. Truthfully, she did not know how the upcoming weeks, months, years would go, the future was unpredictable and her recent pregnancy was proof enough of that.}

<sup>Yet she had caught wind of meetings here, in the Haven, being held in the middle of the week, which suited her as Jace and Nadine back in the Harrow Desert tended to host their own meetings earlier in the week. So, it was possible for her to make it to both meetings each week, as long as she stayed on top of things. For that reason, the grey-and-white queen had made sure to make it to this one, and could be seen settled diligently near the back of the group. It was odd to be addressed from a leader who wasn't Evergreen -- The thought of her adoptive mother made her feel a stab of grief, given her recent leaving of the Ruins. If Billie had told her sooner about her intention to dual at the Haven, perhaps the former Amalfian would have come too. Now it was too late, but she couldn't let her grief get the best of her when she had to be strong for her unborn children.

What strikes her the most is the attention placed on her, the title of ward coming into play. Oh, goodness. The description of the 'ward' dedication was something that she understood to be fair enough - Caliban had recently been captured, and the Wind Haven was still considered 'fair game' to the Ruins. It was understandable that she be placed under some scrutiny, but she wouldn't lie and say she was comfortable with it either. The fur on her back ruffled a little, the thought of being deemed an outsider in the clan she loved so much rather daunting. The shout-out on the other hand is a more positive surprise, and she's glad to be recognized in that regard; not getting a promotion yet doesn't bother her, she had her own duties in the Ruins to tend to yet and was still settling in at the Haven. All she says is, "Thank you for the welcome." It may not have been the warmest one imaginable, but it was warm enough given the circumstances and she was grateful to be permitted into the clan once more.

None of the names of those demoted are familiar with her, nor those who had been warned. It was no surprise in this regard, as she had only been in the Haven for a few days yet, and of course they were being warned and demoted presumably for lack of presence. The advisers mentioned were ever-present, however; Lemon, an old friend and mother goose, and Ninjasexparty. . . Cassiopeia may think her name to be a mouthful, but to Billie it is this one that really strikes her as something out of this world. Promotions are given to Kiyoshi, a jaded young thing with determination (and reservation) in his every step, and to Juba, who she knew from the healer meeting. Along with Zinnia, she calls out as well, "Well done, you two."

Disciplines are something that she's ever-interested in, already having chosen what fields to pursue: Emphasis on healing, naturally, with secondary work towards mastering farming and diplomacy. She wasn't sure if she were suited to trying her paw at defense. With three legs, fighting and the like had never been her strong suit, and she was pacifistic in nature. She had raised a claw or two during raids, but relief heavily on powers as she had no strategy or fighting prowess-- All she could do is rely on instinct. Perhaps one day she would look into it, but not now.

All said and done, she's mostly silent. Listening, nodding every once in awhile, and thinking.</sup>

^{Wilhelmina understood what it was like to be the odd one out among a group of siblings. Especially when stacked up and compared to her solely surviving litter mate, Elian. As a young girl, she had been hopelessly wide-eyed with idealism and fantasies. In a perfect world, she would have stayed a child for a long time, merely enjoying a sheltered kithood of play and laughter. Anti-clan ideology somewhat pressured youth to grow up too quickly, this was something that the queen still believed - vehemently - to this day. It was telling that her brother had, when he was still a kitten (four months? five months?) achieved the rank of Warlord the previous summer. To grow up quickly and become the toughest, the bravest, it was a value instilled in everyone, however subtly, however insidiously. The mantra was along the lines of, only the strong survive. So become strong, become an asset to your clan, and thrive. Abandon the weakness of childhood, embrace the life of a barbarian, watch tortures as public spectacles and feel free to mock prisoners and journey through the world uninhibited, reaping madness where ever you opted to sow.}

<sup>Anyway, her twin had followed down this often-encouraged path without a second glance. Cold, unfeeling, he was destined for greatness in the worst of ways. Even her older siblings, Piratecrown and Garrus, had readily soared through the tiers, establishing themselves as being persons of incredible repute. Billie herself had barely survived, and the stakes were high for her- her, somebody without the capability to possess another, her time on Agrelos was destined to quite literally be once in a lifetime, her who had needed a lifesaving procedure; an amputation that left her teetering so precariously, forever a wounded animal, never able to run. A target on her back. "Am I going to be a lamb?" Was what she had asked her mom, blearily from the pain, balled up in terror, uncertain of her future. It was cryptically that Always Dead had answered her, a roundabout way of implying yes but not saying it outright. There was a sense of stagnancy, of failure, as her siblings soared in success, aptitude, and gained respect, while Wilhelmina stayed a nurse for moons at a time.

With that said, she was mostly content with where her paws had guided her now. Greatness could come in many forms, and she believed herself to carry a great amount of healing prowess, even if the field was unappreciated in certain circles. Even if nobody would remember her as Billie, the Great, she would be happy to know that she had always done her best. Sometimes an ordinary life was the happiest, and though she wouldn't describe herself as a particular happy feline - not deep, deep down inside - she was at a place of general ease and perhaps her life had found a little more direction lately. She had stepped down from third tier, settling where she knew her calling truly was: as a physician, and though she couldn't rewrite the (admittedly few, but severe in themselves) wrongs she had done, she had learned from them. She had found peace in the Wind Haven, a beautiful solace away from the chaos of the Ruins. If Ver had taught her anything, it was that the world was of varying shades of grey, and living with a paw in two worlds needn't mean anything bad in itself. Billie was to be a mother, something that terrified her - but she was gradually growing more sure of herself, certain that she, too, could do this.

Children were the future, and they deserved the best start in life possible. Wilhelmina was determined to give her kids all the things she had never had, and wanted to ensure that they had a proper childhood to enjoy and remember fondly. Billie's own memories of her youth were mostly, with very few exceptions, traumatic. She was no exception to the rule, she had grown up too fast, seeing far too much, and experiencing a monumental amount of dreadfulness. Although she had not gone in the bloodthirsty direction some did, she had shed her innocence seasons ago, at only a few moons of age. That was no way to live, and not what the young deserved. It was not as though her and her brothers were exceptions to a different trend, either. Billie saw it to this day: Little Dreamkit exploring the prisons, talking with the dead, eager to light bodies on fire. She saw it in Nadine's and Ver's batch of youngsters too; apprentice aged, but even then, why shouldn't your teenage moons be full of lightness as well? A period of self exploration, of learning, of growing up. Harder lessons were learned naturally as one transitioned from child to adult, but did a "hard lesson" need to qualify being kidnapped and having your ear maimed?

Rough as her childhood may have been, it had never entailed kidnapping, and her heart went out for Showpaw and what he had endured. The days when he had been missing had been a scary time, the tension of not knowing ever-prevalent. Tending to Toadie in the trainee's absence was the least that she could do. The young tom had only just found his beloved pet, to come home and find him disappeared would be an incredibly disconcerting homecoming on top of such an ordeal. Despite the prince's presence not being seen much in the weeks since his return, it was felt. Tremendous relief with inklings of sorrow at what had happened to him. Wilhelmina still felt she played a role in his capture, she had cut Venus' ear, wife of the Hellraising leader who had come seeking revenge. There was no way she could have known what would happen, but all consequences had actions and Showpaw's injured ear was a chilling reminder of her own guilt.

With that said, she was both surprised and delighted to find the younger feline calling her name. Was he beginning to get out and about more again? Did he need medical attention? But he says I've got something for her, and the queen's heart is warm as she exits the medical bay, smelling of tangy and sweet herbs as she makes her way over to the savanah. She sees the movement of Toadie in his bandanna and offers a smile at seeing that the little amphibian was alive and well. Verdant eyes flickered from the apprentice's form to the object at his paws. "Showpaw," she starts, honored and curious, "You didn't need to get me anything."</sup>

^{Wilhelmina scanned through the invitation, the thick scent of the pine forest very familiar to the green-eyed fem; after all, the Ruins' desert bordered the sprawling woodland area, and she had attended an event or two there before. A mock battle sounded like a good training opportunity, though she's unsure if it is something she would readily partake in. If children and medics were explicitly encouraged to join in on, then she supposed the stakes couldn't be too high; but she was pregnant, and accidents happened. It wouldn't be for her, not this time, she determined. "We're invited to a mock battle with the Shadow Veil, they'd like an idea of who will be attending," she decided to say, not sure if anyone illiterate could be lurking but speaking for their benefit just in case.}

^{A frown furrows way onto her features as she catches sight of the Exiler. She remembered him from his appearance at the healer meeting, and also from being captured by Evergloam. The revelations of his relationship to Jace was somewhat mind boggling, and she remembered the king trying to convince him to join. Could he have changed his mind and be interested in allying himself with the desert clan now? Apart of her somewhat thought it was too little, too late if so. But while tensions remained high between the two groups (they still had Rentarou, the Ruins still housed Exile captives), she couldn't bring herself to appreciate this visitation. Cory seemed decent enough, but only just enough. "Exilers aren't welcomed to visit here as they please," she warned, not sharply but sternly as she examined him through narrowed olive eyes.}

^{Wilhelmina watched the spectacle before her -- Warpaint was an alleged part of their culture, but she only had seen it pop up a few times in her life. Had she painted herself as a child? The physician tries to remember the sticky substance on her fur and thinks she might have, but so much of her kithood was hazy, laid under the veil by more traumatic memories. A soft sigh departs her maw as Ver discusses raiding the Exiles, and she's not sure if it's apart of the dog's plan or not but she hopes that they can retrieve Rentarou. "I'll have a field medic station set up by the time you all get back," the queen offered, flicking her green eyes towards the horned deputy, knowing she couldn't participate in a raid in her current state.}

<sup>Wilhelmina had always known that she would take up farming once she moved to the Haven and learned of varying "disciplines", it seemed only right that she would start somewhere smaller and work her way up. Gardening was of vague familiarity to her, a hobby she enjoyed but had little way of partaking in it back in the desert; farming of other varieties wasn't, in anyway, up her alley. She always appreciated the opportunity of dipping her paw in something new, so she would take a gentle step in this direction. The queen was lucky that the small cottage she had (re)claimed as he own had a window box - which had once, presumably, been attached to the window - haphazardly laying on her porch. It was cracked, dirty, and there were nails sticking out at odd places, but she thought it would be a good place to start. The queen was currently trying to shuffle enough healthy dirt up her porch steps, using tiny little containers she had found. Seeds were already settled in a pile, ready to be used, but first she had to finish filling up the garden box.

Although still mostly tidy, her white furs have grown muddy in her collection process, and her sides heave with exertion. She was a bit half full, she noted as she dumped her soil inside of her container. So she had many trips in store for her yet. Turning, she prepared herself to retreat to the gardens in search of more unused potting soil.</sup>

<sup>Wilhelmina is a Sanguine Ruins physician (medicine cat) and a member/ward of (a member of an enemy group who has been accepted into the group for sanctuary purposes) Wind Haven. She is a young adult (around a year and a half) and is currently expecting kittens from a one night stand. Generally speaking, she is a genuinely good and helpful animal who chose the path of healing to save lives, and is mostly altruistic. She is somewhat jaded and has her fair share of skeletons and her belief system that used to be very strong and clear-cut has been muddled in recent moons. While she is not inherently violent, she may advocate capital for extreme situations and does usually turn a blind eye for most tortures that occur in her homeland. She's joined Wind Haven recently as she lived there once before and has chosen to raise her children there.

Open:</sup>

^{- Friends}

^{- Enemies}

<sup>- Short term love interests and one sided crushes
- Long term love interests (picky)</sup>

^{- Capture (picky)}

^{- Capturing your character (picky - she would only do it in really specific cases, probably only if your character was apart of the Hellraisers)}

^{- Teaching y/c about herbs and healing}

<sup>- Learning about defense/fighting from y/c

Closed:</sup>

^{- Litters}

^{- One night stands}

^{- Drug use}

^{- Torture}

^{- Death}

^{- Torturing your character}

^{- Killing your character (unless there is a really good plot, but she wouldn't do it in cold blood & it would likely only happen in extreme life or death situations)}

^{Wilhelmina is relieved that he is supportive of keeping them, though she picks up on his air of unease- of suspicion. Her expression mimics his, frown and all, and she is shuffles her paws in a gesture of anxiety. Had she said too much? Billie quite simply did not know if it was safe for her kittens to be alive, the world was treacherous and although tensions had (mostly) cooled between her and her brother, she still did not trust Elian as far as she could throw him. And, lug of fur that he was, she couldn't throw him very far. At all. It had never been a plan necessarily to induce a miscarriage, but it had been an idea, the mistletoe she inexplicably kept - only for emergencies - in her den giving her an option to consider, even if that option was nobody's favorite. She shifts her weight and lowers her eyes, glad that their decision in the matter was mutual - keeping them - and she knew deep down in her heart that she likely couldn't have fallen through. . . Or, maybe, she would have, had she not found another 'out', a safe haven - quite literally - in Mt. Kodiak.}

<sup>What she hadn't been expecting was the venomous reaction the tom had to her suggestion, more hostile and aggressive than even the pregnancy revelation had been. Immediately she flinches at the spite in his words, olive eyes wounded in shock as she recoils for a moment. But the drive to protect the youth inside of her was stronger than his anger, and her own hackles would raise as she straightened up, ears pinned flat against her head as she glared at him, a mixture of dismay and irateness to her delicately structured features. "The Harrow Desert is no place to raise children, it's not safe here," she emphasizes the issue of safety. All other things be damned, if the Sanguine Ruins was twice as barbaric but still somehow a place for children to grow up happily, healthily, and safely, she would have stayed, her moral disagreements with the group aside. She needed her kits to live a more sheltered life than she had, to grow up shielded from the wickedness of the world. If that were somehow possible, she would allow it, but it wasn't and so she had fled to the place that had once given her salvation when she needed it the most.

Paws prickled, hot with anger, as she recalled once more his mannerisms with his children at the prison. She could not have him lighting bodies on fire in front of her babies. And that was only the start! She shook her head and said firmly, "The kittens aren't safe here, not with my brother around. He would hurt them." She wasn't sure how. She didn't want to think that the thuggish warlord was capable of going as far as to kill them, but she wouldn't be surprised if he were. A chill ran down her spine and she said, "He would do anything toget back at me. And there are other dangers too, you know that." She tries to reason with him, tries to stay calm despite the way her white tail tip lashed.</sup>

^{"There are a lot of things you can do with pumpkins," she muses. "I suppose that's true of other gourds as well. Maybe I'll grow. . . Squash."}

^"Tragic."

<sup>Blood boiled hot in her veins as he denied the dangers that an anti-clan lifestyle supplied. Safe? Wilhelmina's claws dug into the grainy sand beneath her paws and she would shake her head, dismayed an incredulous by his adamant refusal to admit the culture of hostility that the Sanguine Ruins cultivated. The physician knew from experience that it was not a safe place, she stood with one leg missing and gnarled with scar tissue, a fiery look to her green eyes as she stared at him. "You can look at me and insist that kits are kept safe here?" Snapped the long furred female, growl low and guttural as these words broke free from her maw. Billie, daughter of a leader, still hadn't been protected enough to get her through her first moons of childhood in one piece. "You cannot compare the two groups. One is looking for trouble, a target on our back -- Showpaw was just kidnapped and was returned to us maimed, kids are not safe here." Wind Haven was just that, a Haven; the group stayed out of trouble, a peaceful way about the clan and efforts being truly altruistic and good. Meanwhile the Ruins thought that free game wouldn't result in retaliation (or maybe, just maybe, they hoped for it), and perpetually cycled through life reaping what they sowed in this barbaric, twisted, way of life.

"You can come too," she says again, trying to maintain her composure as she forces her fur to lay flat(ter) and her voice to steady, though it was still strained and high from the tension surrounding the duo. Morphineblast only had good intentions, she could see that, he promised to protect the kittens from Elian and she believed that he wouldn't let any harm befall him. But he underestimated how dangerous Elian could be, how vehement his grudge against her was. He says "he ain't hurtin' you" and her expression falters for a minute. He was opportunistic, her brother, and she knew he may have set aside violent ideas for her for now, but it wouldn't be forever. He would always mean her harm, and children were so vulnerable, so precious. He would take advantage of it in a second, and would all of Morph's goodwill and protection make a shred of difference? A soft sigh departs her maw and she seems defeated, her shoulders slumping, eyes losing their passionate gleam. She hadn't wanted to fight, not like this, but she understood her choice to be controversial. But there was room in the kittens lives for him too, if he would just follow her there. "It's not a bad place. I just -- They deserve this, Morph. A fresh start in life. I want them to live out their first moons there, peacefully, and then after that they can make whatever choices they want about where to live." Growing up was about making those important decisions for yourself, but it was a parent's responsibility to make the right ones on behalf of them before they were old enough and wise enough to do so. "So you can come there and raise them with me until they're apprentices and then. . . Any that want to come back here can."</sup>

^{There's a disgruntled air to Wilhelmina as she looks at the lion. "If you wanted to speak with Jace, you should have done so while you were still held prisoner here. The Exiles are not welcome here as visitors. Unless you're here to join, or have some sort of political matter to disgust, you should turn around and leave. Your kinship to the king doesn't give you free range of our territory." Her tone is crisp as she does her best to usher him away before the situation escalated. She's not sure if Jace would want to see him, she understood that they were relatives and family meant a lot to the king, but he had been willing enough to wipe his hands of the rival tom before when he had refused to join.}