Posts by BILL !

✦ bill s. preston, esquire | male [he/him]

✦ 16 months | created 6/10/18

✦ based on bill & ted's excellent adventures

✦ lax stoner dude, y'know, duuude?

✦ hawkclan — guard [shp]

✦ DOMESTIC CAT [MAIN] | HEALTH: 100%— bill is a cream-colored tabby with a fairly average build; maybe a bit small, but not extremely so. his fur, especially in the shorter areas on his head, chest, limbs, and tail, has a bit of a curl to it, the rest being frizzier than average even without curling too much. his eyes are usually half-lidded, partially hiding his aqua-blue eyes, and that combined with a lopsided smile gives him an aura of appearing to be stoned, which isn't helped out by his... interesting comments. everything he does is in a relaxed happiness, which aids to this as well, but rest assured: he most certainly isn't. unless he smoked weed, in which case he probably is stoned, seeing as that is what happens when one smokes weed.

— INJURIES none

✦ ( ENFP / SLYTHERIN / SANGUINE / CHAOTIC GOOD )

— TRAIT | TRAIT | TRAIT

— TRAIT | TRAIT | TRAIT

— description here

✦ NPC X NPC

— misc relations

✦ best friend(s): xx

✦ single | bisexual (in denial) | [ 0 ] "maybe" crushes

— ½ of shiphere

✦ misc

— trusts absolutely everyone

✦ PHYSICALLY/MENTALLY MEDIUM | @ ACCOUNT / ATTACK IN 'CORNSILK'

— mentoring / mentored by xx

✦ PM FOR MAJOR INJURIES/CAPTURE | NO MAIM/KILL

— no powers

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ bill had no clue where he was. like, no clue at all. well, that was a lie, he could see that there was plenty of stuff around, on the bank of some lake with some redwoods around. "woooah, am i in north cali, or somethin'?" he asked himself, taking a step closer to the lake. he had been wandering for maybe a few minutes, and had noticed a few things that were most curious. a very, very notable example of curious things he'd noticed was the fact that he was standing and walking on all fours, and that it was not only natural, but necessary. whatever the hell he was, it most definitely was not human. that was why he decided to walk closer to the lake, so he could catch a glimpse of himself and figure out what was going on.

when he looked at his reflection, there was a cream-colored tabby cat staring back at him. which meant he was a cat. "bogus," he said tentatively, unsure of how to even feel about what had occurred in the past ten minutes. he woke up, walked around, and then learned he was a cat for some reason. like, sure, he'd been on adventures before, but it had always been as a human, and not as a cat. "bogus!!" bill said again, much louder and much angrier. this was most odious, most unfair, most.... every negative adjective he could think of. he didn't want to be a stupid cat! especially not in the middle of nowhere!

but his anger was gone as quickly as it appeared, seeing as there was nothing for him to do. he laid down and groaned, accepting the fact that he was going to die alone and as a cat.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ oh, and there was a wildcat cub of some sort. who touched him. she touched him, what? was that some sort of cat-like flirtation thing, or was it normal, or...? scratch that, actually, that wasn't what he really had to worry about, and neither was the fact that the cub talked to him somehow. no, what he had to worry about was the fact that he was, in fact, not alright, but at least he knew the name of where he was. "is hawkclan near eureka? or, like, mckinleyville or something?" he asked, before realizing that there was probably no way a cat would know where either of those towns were. nor would they know directions back to san dimas.

so that was another most egregious issue, that he didn't have any way to get home. not that it mattered that much, seeing as he was a cat for some reason, but... it was still pretty bogus. "no, i'm not doing okay," he said, nearly hating how bummed out he sounded. he was supposed to be peppy, or something, but.. no, this wasn't a time to be in a good mood. "'n' i am most heinously lost, cat-babe."

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ oh, and there was another cat babe! well, things were still looking pretty gloomy, but if there were cat babes, and he happened to be a cat dude, maybe something cool would end up coming up from that. bill could only make the best out of the situation, of course. what did cat-babe number two ask, though? where was he from? ah, an easy question, one that made him feel a bit more fine with the situation, however bad it truly was. "i'm bill s. preston, esquire, of wyld stallyns, from san dimas, california!" he answered, feeling more and more aware that nothing he said truly had any real meaning to them at all. "that's a human band and a human city, because i am a human. or.. i was one, i guess," he added, feeling like that might help to some extent. it did ruin all the potential positivity he was building up from his initial statement of who he was and where he was from.

he hoped that maybe, even if they didn't recognize where he was from, that their owners might've recognized the name wyld stallyns or something. after all, cats were just pets, right? some people even kept big cats as pets, which could've explained the whole thing with cat-babe number one, and it most definitely explained the collar-like things around their necks. if he still had arms, he would've air-guitared at the discovery that he was, in fact, close to civilization, but he made do with a grin and a mental air-guitar that served its purpose for the time.

oh, and he spent a hot second oogling at the cat-babes, seeing as he might have to get used to being around them if his instincts were incorrect (which was most highly unlikely, by the way). this led to a small discovery, that cat-babe number two had some sort of dark aura or smoke coming off of her. "duuuude! you have some sort of bodacious, uh.. thing, goin' on, around your... whole.... cat bod...... and, uh........" he went silent, having no clue how to make his thoughts sound smooth at all. he knew he wasn't a good flirt, but... at least he tried.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ two more people? oh, dude, this was getting to be a bit of a party, wasn't it? bill found himself regaining a dumb little grin, enjoying the attention. even if it wasn't exactly positive. well, no, it wasn't negative either, so it was fine, or something. "nah, dude!!" he answered mccree, idly wondering if he knew who billy the kid was. "it appears to me that something most atypical occurred that caused my form to alter from being human to feline, although my memory has not kept itself entirely and i cannot say for sure why that happened," bill said flatly, hoping that would let him be believed more than they seemed to be at the moment. besides, he could sound smart, and it would hopefully help him out if he actually talked smart to them for a moment.

now then, what did cat-babe number two say to him? thanks, and then something to mccree? woah. that was... excellent! sure, he was pretty sure he detected hints of disinterest in her speech, but... no, if he kept up his efforts he'd be good to go, most definitely. he mentally air-guitared, trying not to lament his lack of arms, and turned to his side to do it to ted. except he was alone, and not with his bestest friend. damn, he'd have to sort out the negative emotions that came from that. it was too much to think about at once, though, so he just pushed that to the backburner so he could deal with it later.

oh, and there was one more question that he didn't answer while getting lost in thought for a moment. what was it, something about, like, staying in hawkclan for the time being? "okay, yeah, stayin' here sounds like it would be most triumphant, considering my situation." he gave another smile, hoping that he was giving a good first impression. after all, his first impression on them would probably more important now that he decided he'd be sticking around.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ idek how to describe this well honestly but uh. if u havent watched bill and teds excellent adventure either watch it and then reply or just like. leave this thread lol

so i made this bad boy yesterday and im already ready to have some major shenanigans featuring the duo, but the problem is that there isnt a ted!! my only concept is that ted ends up in an anticlan (bills in hawkclan for reference) and they meet up in a private thread, then learn later that they, in fact, arent exactly supposed to be friends with each other. also, bill has memories of being a human, so itd be good if ted did too. or not, that might actually b pretty interesting too lmao

as long as its decently written and sounds like ted (ie. stuff like most excellent, non-non-non-heinous, bodacious, duuuuude, etc etc), im not picky at all with this tbh!! i just want a buddy to do a few stupid plots with skdfjaskdjfdsk!!

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ for someone who named his band wyld stallyns, bill hadn't seen many horses in his lifetime, especially not in real life. throughout his time as a cat, he'd seen even less. none, in fact, up until that very moment. "woooaah," he said, unsure of exactly how he should even react. horses were bigger than he remembered them being. the longer he gawked at the horse, who was going through a denial of lost-ness that bill entirely skipped over when he joined, the cooler and cooler the thing looked. like, not just the neat celestial imagery featured in the horse's side, but also the snake. "duuude, you are the most metal, dudes!!" he said, nearly loud enough to be a yell. this guy looked absolutely awesome, and frankly, just seeing him was exciting.

of course, he'd leave the actual joining process to his clanmates who were in the clan for more than a few days max, seeing as he had almost no clue what to even say. but, still, he most definitely had to be around this dude (er, these dudes? he wasn't sure if the snake counted yet). after all, he just had such a cool look, and as a fashion icon back when he was still human, bill had to hang out.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ tasks? bill could definitely do tasks. in fact, he was pretty prideful of his ability to accomplish chores, or at least b.s. something until it looked finished. "i would feel most delighted to acquire a task from you, cat-babe," the tabby said, still unsure of her name. he'd learn it eventually, at least.

ooc // glhf figuring out a task that feels in character dskfkndfdskn oops

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ if he was more aware of things, he might've thought that cat-babe number one's attempt at mimicking his speech patterns was pretty cute, but... he didn't notice that it was an attempt at all. after all, his old friends, the people of san dimas, often spoke in even crazier ways, to the point where his and ted's straight-from-the-dictionary way of speaking was almost normal. if only ted was around as a cat. what did cat-babe even say? party or meet-and-greet? alright, he could totally do that sort of thing. "dude.. excellent!" he started, knowing that either one of those might help out with his poor knowledge of people's names, and also be most outstanding in terms of fun-ness. "catch ya later, cat-babe, i'm off to construct that party for you!!" with that, he left.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ it took bill a day or two to figure out how he'd throw a party for cats. after all, he'd only ever really thrown parties for humans before, seeing as he was a human for significantly longer than he had been a cat. his first problem was obvious: where would the party occur? his answer was obvious, the camp's floor. sure, the catwalks and bridges that connected the treehouses would be fun, but he still didn't know the clan well enough to start doing stuff like that. if he felt like vandalizing everything, he'd do it once he was familiar with the best places to graffiti. this led to another interesting question: how do cats party?

this answer stumped bill, even after he spent a night to think about it. how did cats party? did they steal their parents' liquor and drink shots, like him and ted often did back at highschool parties, or did they go for a more realistic choice of cheap beer? could cats even drink alcohol? was their any alcohol even in hawkclan's general vicinity? bill knew the answer to none of these questions, so he decided that he'd just steer clear for the time being and figure it out whenever he decides to throw another party. besides, it wasn't even technically his party, was it? he was asked to do it, so not drinking would probably be a good idea in case he wanted any sort of positive reputation, being so new.

but he still had more to do, even without any sort of neat drinks at hand. after all, the only semblance that the space was going to have a party was the fact that bill as standing there slack-jawed, thinking everything through. with some inginuity, he managed to scrounge up some stuff that only barely looked like party supplies, but looked... colorful enough, at least. it would've been better with spraypaint, but he didn't know where any would be available, seeing as he wasn't exactly human.

he managed to make the space look nice enough considering his restraints, and managed to get some food and water as well.

everything was as good as he could've hoped for, seeing as he had no clue how a cat would party. hell, he didn't even have music to play, although humming ted's lyrics to the songs they'd written together was at least something for himself, personally. "hey, duuuudes! i believe that now, a most excellent party shall now begin, courtesy of myself and cat-ba—er, shamisen's suggestion for me to throw one!" he had a big, dumb grin on his face.

look, he was trying, okay?

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ how exactly bill managed to stumble upon the scene despite not hearing the initial calls is probably beyond even the wisest of beings, but he still ended up looking at the crashed airplane. "woooaaaah," he said, stepping towards the small crowd appearing just outside the plane. "this is a most non-non-non-non-unorthodox discovery, cowboy dude." he looked to mccree to make sure he was referring to the right person, seeing as names weren't necessarily his forte, before pushing himself beside valerian to go in. "i'm wonder if there are any deceased personages remaining on here!" it would be a bit exciting to discover a dead body, if a bit traumatizing for those who hadn't seen their own dead self (or any other dead person, for that matter) before. luckily, that wasn't him, so he'd be completely fine, especially considering that it'd probably only be skeletons based on how old the plane looked.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ bill gave the kitten a grin back when she smiled at him, having no clue who she was but being thrilled by the attention regardless. after all, children that small were adorable, even if bill felt entirely unequipped to interact with a child at all. especially one that was the same species as him, he was pretty sure. next, oh, it was cowboy dude! mccree, or whatever his name was! "duuude, cats can drink? wooah!!" he said excitedly, glad that he got an answer to at least one of his questions. he looked through the stash, almost disappointed that there wasn't anything a bit lighter in the box. he struggled for a moment, but pulled out a beer, surprised by how expensive it seemed. not that he was complaining, no, of course not! he'd have good beer to cheap beer any day.

then he realized something. "ooh, dude, most definitely keep the alcohol away from the children. drinking from a young age can stunt your growth," he said matter-of-fact-ly, gesturing towards cassi. sure, he'd drank a good amount in highschool, but not before that at all, and even if he didn't know the kid, he didn't want anyone to think it was his fault if anything happened.

//on mobile ;-;

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ lol i probably shouldve made this earlier BUT uhhhh i just wanna give this fella some plots lol. im open to literally everything except him getting maimed or killed so uhh enjoy lol!!

(altho something in specific i wanna do w him is explore his sexuality so that by the time i find someone to play a ted w me hes not in complete denial of his bisexuality oo future plots yay)

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ in terms of being a cat, bill was just winging it. see, he'd lived a large majority of his life as a human, and a pretty revolutionary one at that, whereas his life as a cat had lasted maybe a week tops. sure, he'd done... a lot, over the past week, and somehow made some friends (and apparently joined something called a clan, where he was now living), but... it wasn't anything like time travelling with ted to ace their history final. or getting killed by their evil robot counterparts but coming back after going to hell and managing to meet the smartest scientist in the universe who helped them make good robots who, at the big battle of the bands, helped them destroy their evil robot counterparts before future him and ted showed up to actually play for them. bill didn't recall future him or ted ever mentioning anything about turning into cats before they went through their sixteen months of getting good at guitar, but apparently that was part of it.

the point is that bill was rolling with the punches. he was like a candle, blowing in the wind, like elton john or some other cool musical reference. nothing that had happened to him really made sense, but he felt like if he didn't just go with it, something bad would happen. after all, him and ted followed along with what rufus said, and that let them pass history!

he missed ted, but he still wasn't entirely ready to deal with the emotions surrounding that yet. after all, maybe ted was out there, somewhere, also as a cat. or, like, nothing had changed for him at all, and this was just a really crazy dream bill was having. he hoped it was just a dream, really.

oh, hey! there was that kitten that bill made sure didn't, like, drink at the party he threw! kittens were something very non-non-non-depressing, which was just the sort of pick-me-up bill needed. sure, he hadn't especially... done... anything, over the past week of being a cat, but at least kittens were cute. they were something his dad never let him have: sure, he could sneak his parents' liquor, while they were... "busy", but a pet was a no-go. he supposed it made sense, seeing as he was generally not that good at taking a good care of, like, anything, but it still sorta sucked. at least, with the whole hawk thing the clan had going on, he could prove to himself that he could take care of a pet, or something. he didn't even have one of those leather necklaces, yet, though. he was a bit too nervous to ask about how he could obtain one, even though it seemed like everyone had one.

oh, hey, turns out he walked up to the kitten while lost in thought, and now had to figure out what to say, when he spent the usual time he spent thinking of words to think about, like, life. "how's it goin', kitten-ba... uhh.." yeah, calling a child a babe wasn't in his to-do list. especially one he barely knew. "what's your name, even, kid?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound too pretentious, or something.

actually, he wasn't sure if the kiddo could even speak, considering he'd never heard her speak at all, ever. hopefully she could, or else everything would end up being a bit of a weird staring-match, or something.

//oopsies didnt mean to write such a wall of text uhh

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ it was a really sore subject for bill, but... he had trouble reading. like, major trouble. like, flunking english three years in a row kind of major. it wasn't for lack of trying, seeing as he'd read the dictionary through at least three times, but he just... couldn't. er, he could, but it was really difficult for him. that meant he took a bit longer to read the stick than what she held it up for; first because it took him a moment to realize she was holding it up to show him her name, but also because he had to read it over a few times to understand what it even said. cas... something. cassiooooooo... nope, that was all he got. cassi would do, he supposed. okay, next stick, though, what did that mean. just a question mark? was she, like, unsure of her own name, or something? "caw-seeee question mark......" he mumbled to himself, hating that his dullness was getting in the way for once in his life. there was no ingenuity, no scapegoat, no nothing that let him slide out and be the winner. he repeated himself once again before figuring out what that even meant.

she was asking what his name was! duh! "oooh, my name's bill s. preston, esquire," bill said proudly, even if it probably meant nothing to cassie. oh, and there was something odd that was going on, too. "woah, caw-seee, you mute? that is... most intruiging." he'd never really met anyone who couldn't speak. er, maybe he did, if ted's nervous breakdown that lasted a weak at the start of their sophomore year counted. he personally didn't count that, though, especially since ted was usually more talkative than bill was! point was, it wasn't something he was used to, and that was something worth investigating. after all, kids were usually pretty open (or, at least, all the kids he interacted with as a kid were almost as extreme of an extrovert as he was), so it probably wouldn't be too big of a deal. unless cassi was actually, like, an introvert and not just mute, or something.

man, cats were confusing. humans were so much more simple, so much more straightforward. he didn't get a single thing that had happened to him. he didn't understand the alcohol offered to him from earlier, and he didn't get the weird speaking conventions of using popsicle sticks. but... whatever, it was what he was stuck with.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ speaking of bill, there he was, his aimless wandering and humming of iron maiden riffs leading him to a small clearing that happened to have, like, that kitten! and also someone he didn't recognize who seemed pretty on edge. luckily, if there were any two people in hawkclan who were entirely unthreatening, it would have to be him and cassi. if his pacifistic nature wasn't clear off the get-go, then bill wasn't exactly sure what anyone would even really see him as.

well, they might see him as a stoner, but that was beside the point. "there's a ton of people 'round, cat-babe!" he said in an excited tone that was very likely offputting to anyone not used to him. it was covering up his hopes to figure out a better catch-all term for female cats whose names he didn't know than cat-babe, but.. hey, new people were exciting. "this is, uh, hawkclan territory, i think! i'm bill s. preston, esquire! why're you out here in the territory for?"

that would hopefully do well as far as greetings went. after all, looking back on the few joinings he'd witnessed in his short time being a part of hawkclan (rather, being a cat at all), they seemed to ask why they were there and also added in their own names, so that things wouldn't be super awkward. oh! right, and cassi was asking that other thing, what the intruder's name was, which was also... good. he figured he might as well translate for the poor kitten, since being mute must be quite the struggle and the sticks were a bit hard to understand. well, for him, at least. "oh, this is cassi! she's a most outstanding kitten, and i believe what she is doing is attempting to question you as to what your name is, which i'll second in asking as well."

damn, he was a natural at this sort of thing.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ bill stepped over in what some folks might call a "lame tracking post", curious as to what a meeting would exactly entail and who exactly that dude calling for it even was. hopefully it wouldn't be a most tedious event to sit through.

❝ SHUT UP, TED ! ❞ bill had suffered some medical ailments in his time; a broken arm in 6th grade, a badly sprained ankle his sophomore year, and numerous cuts and bruises from skateboarding and just general clumsiness. but none of those were while he was a cat, and much less as a cat with a pelt made out of some sort of water. so when he heard her call and bounded towards it (thankfully in the area), bill wasn't entirely sure if anything was wrong with her at all. "uh.. hey there, water-cat-thing-babe!" he said, more hesitant than usual. after all, he usually had no clue what he was doing, but at this point he probably had negative knowledge of whatever was happening. "i'm bill s. preston, esquire, this is hawkclan territory i hope, and, uh..." yeah, this was confusing as hell, but at least he got through half of what he was pretty sure he needed to say in this situation. he noticed a pinkish-red tinge to parts of her pelt, which kinda freaked him out a lot, because, like, what if it was blood? "do you need some most serious help? you look totally non-excellent, dude, i could fetch you some help." yeah, okay, he was kinda starting to panic to some extent, looking around in hope that one of his clanmates was nearby. it wasn't every day when he saw someone hurt at all, aside from that time where he died and saw some most... atypical looking people, to say the least.

oh, right, he died at one point, back when he was human. that would probably be considered a medical issue, too.