Posts by softheart.

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit's brother seemed like he was about to get into a fight with a warrior, of all the cats in Windclan that he could've chosen to pick a fight with, it just had to be a cat twice his size. The calico was shy enough to feel like she should let her brother run his mouth, but the strong emotional ties to the kitten drug Amber out of the nursery by her ear. The thud of paws hitting against icy ground could be heard as the girl quickly made her way over to the side of her brother, head ducked and her tail almost fully tucked between her legs under the gaze of the npc warriors spaced sporadically around camp.

Amberkit wasn't going to let her brother get beaten up in a fight that he couldn't win, no matter how much her instincts screamed at her to stay out of it. She pushed her side into Adderkit's, trying to give him a look that would calm him down, doe-eyed and pleading. "I'm sure this n-nice warrior will m-move if you ask him...n-nicely..." Amberkit made sure to whisper the last word to Adder in a way that wouldn't get Lizardbounce's attention, her muddy, fearful gaze flickering between her seething brother and the oblivious midnight warrior.

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit had been curled in the nursery, wasting the hours away with midday naps and short bursts of activity. She had her mossball clutched in her claws, aimlessly kneading and pulling at the nesting material before the voices of two of her clanmates caught her attention. They were two unfamiliar faces, but Amberkit was trying to get out of her comfort zone, one clanmate at a time. The calico kitten, still rocking her spiky bedhead, approaching Creamcandle and Sprucerain. The other calico molly glanced away, looking a bit down before answering the white tom's question.

"A-are you okay, miss?" She didn't know either of their names, but her mother had drilled manners into her head from the week she was born, so she had a nasty habit of calling any cat she met 'miss' or 'sir', regardless if she knew their name or not.

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit jumped slightly as the voice of Lizardbounce reached her, large ears swiveling towards the dark warrior as he rumbled a greeting to her. Oh, she was 'kid' now? She liked that nickname, even if it was just a literal word for her age; she didn't mind the nickname...'kid', it was cool to have a nickname, especially from such a cool guy! Sprucerain caught her attention as he suggested a game of mossball before quickly trotting off to find some nesting material to use as the ball in the game. Amberkit was a bit overwhelmed with all of the activity going on around her, muddy eyes wide as she tried to follow the conversation as best as she could.

Her adoptive father, Wolfsbane, came trotting over and offering her an affectionate few words. Her heart swelled with the attention, a small smile curling on her maw. "Hi, d-dad..." Amberkit's voice was tiny as her head tilted back to beam up at Wolfsbane. Her attention was quickly diverted by a verbal squabble going on between her brother, father and Sprucerain. Amberkit had done plenty of listening all of her life so she simply listened to them bicker, ears flattening against her head before she turned her attention back to Creamcandle.

"Y-you have a pretty name." She was trying to smooth over the fact that her family was causing a scene, her eyes glancing between her brother and dad before returning back to Creamcandle, face contorting in a grimace at their words.

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit might as well be the polar opposite to Chamomilekit; she was meek, timid and a bit of a pushover in most situations. She was raised to be complacent, compatible, not to speak up unless spoken to. She was still struggling with her habits, but she was slowly getting better, getting more outspoken and pushing herself out of her comfort zone. Talking to clanmates she didn't know, keeping conversations going, she was trying everything she could to become more comfortable with the idea of socializing and making friends.

Amberkit, for once, wasn't cooped up in the nursery in her usual spot. She was out and about in camp, chasing around falling feathers or random things to keep herself busy. It took a lot to tire out the normally quiet molly but soon enough, she was thoroughly done with playing and decided to grab a mouse from the prey pile and chow down on it in the comfort and safety of her nest in the nursery. Amberkit was halfway into the nursery entrance when she spotted Chamomilekit in the midst of her own disaster, laying around in a pile of feathers and moss. She looked...upset, the fiery orange kit resting her head on her forepaws and staring off into space.

"Care to s-share a mouse with me? I'm Amberkit, by the w-way." The calico made sure to introduce herself to the other kit as she dragged the mouse over to the mess of Chamomile's nest, plunking it down in front of the kit's nose. Maybe eating and filling her belly would cheer her up a little bit?

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit, as predicted, would not be sparring anybody. Even approaching the calico kit with the intent to start a fight would cause the girl to puff up and quickly turn on her heel, rushing somewhere where she couldn't be found so that she could cry and cower in peace. Fighting was something that Amber was going to have to learn how to do eventually, but today would not be the day to start learning.

She had been in tow behind Adderkit, though she hadn't been aware that he wanted to spar. The proposition that fell from her brother's lips made the kitten jump slightly, muddy eyes widening in shock as she turned to glance at her brother. "W-What if you get hurt? Are you sure that sparring is a good idea...Play fighting s-sounds much safer and more fun than sparring!" Minkkit seemed to be on the same page as Amber, though the other kit didn't seem to be as bothered by the idea of sparring than the calico girl was.

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit had been mentally preparing for Chamomilekit to say no, to deny her request and send her off to some corner to eat by herself, all sad and stupid-looking. The opposite ended up happening, the orange kit actually accepting her offer, bending down so that she could take the first bite out of the mouse. Okay, this was good! Amberkit took a seat on the other side of the prey, ducking her head to take an appropriately-sized portion from the mouse, making sure to leave enough for the other kit to chomp on.

Chamomilekit had rung a bell in Amberkit's head; they had been in the nursery together while the meeting was going on, the small mass of youths straining their ears to maybe catch something that Eaglestar was saying. Amberkit had been right at the front luckily and she had caught a few glimpses of the fiery-coated girl from the corner of her eye. She was hard to miss; Chamomilekit was pretty, long coat of orange and a matching set of glittering amber eyes, she was definitely one of the nicer-looking cats in Windclan, if Amberkit could say so. Compared to her...more unique appearance, Chamomilekit was very easy on the eyes, but Amber also thought all of her friends were equally pretty, so choosing favorites made her feel a little guilty.

"I like your n-name...Chamomilekit, it's really n-nice." Amberkit sounded out the long name of the kitten before her, struggling a little bit with the last syllables. It was definitely a lot more complicated than her own name, but it was nice! Amberkit took another stringy bite from the mouse, covering her mouth with a paw so she could shove the rest of the bite into her mouth without making a huge mess.

✦ ✧ ✦ What was all that yelling? Amberkit had been dozing in the nursery, bushy tail laid over her face to keep the bright sun from beaming too harshly into her eyes. More yowling jolted the kitten awake and she was on her paws in an instant, patchwork orange fur fluffed up as she peeked her head out of the nursery. Amberkit caught the tailend of Tort rushing out of camp and Rabbitpaw chasing after her. Wide hazel eyes blinked in surprise before she slunk out of the nursery, ears lowered against her head.

What was going on? Was Miss Tortoiseshell okay? Why was she yelling at Snakeleap? The kitten was frazzled as both of them ran out of camp, Amberkit shaking her head and blinking a few times. Adults were weird.

✦ ✧ ✦ It was no secret that Amberkit took her mossball with her almost everywhere: she slept with it, she ate with it, she played with it and she made sure it was always by her side. She had grown attached to it, almost unhealthily so, and she was never seen without it dangling from her maw as she hopped around camp. The calico was currently tossing the moss back and forth between her paws, muddy hazel gaze following it left and right, left and right. Amber didn't know why she had to keep her mossball with her all the time; it was a sort of security blanket, it kept her safe from all the scary things and it was there for her when she was sad and missing her mom, when Wolfsbane wasn't there to comfort her.

Amberkit had left her mossball right in her nest, safe and sound while she went to the prey pile to grab a small snack. "I won't be gone for long..." She told her mossball, giving it a swift pat with an orange paw before disappearing from the nursery to trot happily across camp. The calico wasn't gone long, but when she came back to her nest...her mossball was gone. Her jaw went slack and her eyes were already brimming with tears as a deep, dark sense of instability rushed through her. Her anxiety flared up almost immediately, consuming her as she practically tore her nest apart searching for her mossball. Amberkit was a sobbing mess as she searched the entire nursery, under all the kits and queens before her search led her to crying and searching around camp.

"M-mossball? W-W-Where'd you go?" She needed her mossball. Amberkit needed her mossball. "M-Mossball?!" The calico mess of a kitten spent an hour peeking into every crevice of camp until she ended up near the warriors' den in a sniffling, cowering mess. Curled into a tight ball Amberkit would be found sobbing into her fur, ears flat against her head and her body shaking from her fast pulse and the anxiety eating away at her like a swarm of ants.

✦ ✧ ✦ Eyes of hazel glossy with tears glanced up at her aunt as she came bearing comforting words, curling around her shivering body as Amberkit sunk deeper into her panic. Graceful was nicer than her mom from what the patchwork calico could remember. Large tears ran dramatically down Amber's full cheeks as she pressed into the safety of Graceful's fluff, ears flat against her head and small wails still coming from her, snot bubbling grossly from her nose. The number of concerned cats grew as Amberkit's sobbing grew into a distraction, a tiny twinge of guilt and anxiety worming its way into the kitten's thoughts as she realized she had caused this giant ruckus. What if Wolfsbane saw how much trouble she had caused? Oh no..

Haycloud was crouched down in front of her, the kitten instinctively pressing closer into the comfort of Graceful. "M-my mossball...it's about this big and this t-tall." Amberkit sat up and held her paws up so that the cats around could see, gesturing about how big around and how tall her beloved mossball was. A few familiar faces from the nursery offered to help, an extra bout of nervous energy rushing through her veins. She didn't mean to grab so much attention and oh no, she had distracted the deputy and she was going to be in so much trouble.

"It's n-not a big deal...it's just m-my mossball, I really like it. I left it in my n-nest in the nursery when I went to go get a snack, but when I came b-back it was gone." The kitten explained, bottom lip wobbling as she retreated ack into the safety of Graceful's fluff. She didn't mean to cause such a scene...

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit was trying to pitch in more where she could; she was only 4 moons old but...she wanted to help! Sitting all alone in the nursery and sulking over her missing mossball, she really wasn't contributing much to Windclan. She was rather anxious as she weaved her way to the looming, intimidating figure of Lavenderpaw. She was an apprentice, was she scary? Gathering up her courage, the calico tilted her head up so that she could see all of the apprentice's face.

"Can I have a...w-weekly task, please, Miss Lavenderpaw?" The kitten's voice was wobbly, but she was beaming with pride over her small victory. She had talked to somebody she didn't know! One tiny step towards a better life, one step at a time.

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit hadn't been outside of camp since Wolfsbane had brought her back to camp for the first time. She had been so cold; the feeling of not being able to feel her paws, watching her breath come out in billows of smoke from her nose, watched it rise into the bitterly cold air. Amber had almost died outside of camp, so the thought of going outside of the bramble walls made her chest tighten uncomfortably and the bitter tang of anxiety reappear on her tongue. The patchwork kitten appeared from the confines of the nursery, a yawn parting her jaws as she scanned camp with muddy brown eyes. Ah, Graceful!

The kitten quickly made her way over to her aunt, her soft voice filling Amberkit's brain with warm comfort as she flopped down in the safe vicinity of the fluffy molly. She wanted to leave camp? What if she got injured? What if she-- what if she died? Nervous thoughts crowded the kitten's mind as she glanced up at Graceful, climbing over her back and curling into her stomach. "C-Can I come? Dad says it's dangerous outside; why do you want to go outside of camp?" Amberkit inquired worriedly, ears lowering against her head as she focused on Rabbitpaw. Was Graceful going to go outside with only the protection of an apprentice? Amberkit didn't doubt Rabbitpaw's experience, but...Graceful was important to her, she was family, she didn't like the idea of her aunt going out by her lonesome.

✦ ✧ ✦ The approaching figure of Wolfsbane made Amberkit's tears briefly subside, her ears perking up and her face seeming to light up at the sight of her adoptive father coming over. He could help! Wolf was smart, she really liked the fact that he was so smart, so wouldn't he be able to find her mossball? Wolfsbane always knew what to do, he always knew how to fix things, even her problems! Amberkit was about to bound over to weave in between the towering tom's legs, the comforting presence of her adoptive father would most likely help her calm down. Amberkit was about to leave the safety of Graceful's fur when--

"You're crying about a mossball."

The kitten stopped dead in her tracks, face instantly falling and her thoughts screeching to a halt. Everything seemed to fall apart in that instant, Amberkit's delighted expression turning dark and her ears lowering back against her skull. She felt something rising in her throat, something that felt like a mixture of fury and anxiety, her fur puffing out and her lips pulling back to reveal pointed, pearly white fangs. This was her mossball, her closest friend! Why was dad being so...mean? Hot tears of anger poured from muddy eyes as Amberkit seemed to recoil into herself, the words of Graceful and Rabbitpaw going unheard by the seething youth. "It's not just a mossball, it's my mossball! He can't be replaced, it doesn't work like that!" Amberkit nearly yowled, voice raising alongside her fur as she became an emotional mess.

"I don't want to find him anymore! I don't want a-any help, I'll do it myself later!" The patchwork calico sobbed, tears rolling down her cheeks as she stormed away from the group of cats and disappeared into the shadows of the nursery. She would find Mossball by herself.

✦ ✧ ✦ Amberkit was not rebellious by nature; she was the anxiety-riddled, shy kitten that most every clan in the forest had. She had been a crying, sobbing mess for the past couple of days, the words of Wolfsbane ringing in her ears and making her sniffle and sob even more every time she thought about it. Amber didn't like to be angry, but the things that Wolfsbane had said, the words that made her cry...they made her angry. They made her want to lash out and that, in itself, was terrifying to the patchwork calico. Amberkit was not an angry cat, she was as far away from that as possible, but right now she was seething. Her dad had told her to get a new mossball, her dad had told her to stop crying over a lost mossball. She didn't want her mossball back anymore, Wolfsbane had gotten what he wanted.

The calico kitten slipped out of the nursery, the sun just starting to crawl over the horizon as Amberkit tried her best to keep silent. Tiny patters of her own paws filled her ears as she scanned the area around her, narrowed muddy hazel eyes lingering for a beat too long on the warrior's den. She would show her dad; Amberkit wasn't a crybaby, she was strong and she was tough. She would show Wolfsbane, she could go out of camp without crying, she could do it. The kitten's logic was flawed, as all kitten logic was, but she wasn't quite able to see the looming consequences of her actions due to her age.

The small girl would be found trying to dig her way out of camp instead of just slipping through the entrance, messy tail waving back and forth as she tried to shove the front portion of her body through the hole in the wall. She most likely wouldn't make it far, but she was going to try her best. She would show Wolfsbane.

✦ ✧ ✦ The soft voice of Cardinalkit caught the angry kitten's attention, muddy gaze focusing on her fellow denmate as the other asked if she could help. Teeth caught her tongue as she was about to tell Cardinalkit no, a visible flinch appearing on her face before she slowly nodded in agreement. "Y-yeah, that would be nice...but if somebody catches u-us, don't say it was your fault. This idea is mine and I d-don't want you to get in trouble because of me." Amberkit explained as she turned back to the progress she was making, scooping a couple more pawfuls of dirt out of the steadily growing hole under the wall of camp.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Amberkit stiffened as they both had been caught, her mind immediately going to Wolfsbane. She could practically see his disappointed face in her mind, the hot angry sting of tears pricking at the corners of her hazel eyes as she turned to face the cat who had caught them. It was...Runningpaw, thank Starclan, the stare of Lavenderpaw also catching her attention before she glanced back to Runningpaw. Patchwork fur bristling under the stare of the apprentice, her eyes narrowed and she let out a soft huff through clenched teeth. "I-I'm sneaking out, is t-that a problem?" She was digging herself her own grave, but she just-- she wanted to show her dad that she wasn't weak, that she could hold her own.

Wasn't that what Wolfsbane wanted her to do?

✦ ✧ ✦ A paw had grabbed her and next thing she knew her calico frame was overtaken by that of her adoptive father's, wide hazel eyes looking up into the pale yellow eyes of Wolfsbane. Immediately her heart sunk into her paws, all of the anger she had been holding flooding out from her and leaving her a slouched, pathetic mess of patchwork fur and clumps of dirt. She had been caught, busted by the one cat in the entire world that she knew she couldn't lie to, tat she couldn't finagle her way out from under. Amberkit was left breathless by the anxiety thrumming furiously in her chest, throat constricting as her maw opened and closed, mind desperately searching for an excuse that would satiate her dad's questions.

She couldn't think of anything.

Tears would come instead of answers or an explanation, hot guilty tears running through fields of orange as Amberkit failed to keep herself together. Her head hung low and a small sob came from her as her ears laid flat against her head. "I-- I just w-wanted you to see that I was b-brave...that I d-didn't need a mossball to make me f-feel safe. I..." Her own words make her physically cringe; she sounded like a pathetic child, self-hatred bubbling in her gut like an angry volcano. "I'm s-sorry, please don't be m-mad..." Amberkit pleaded softly, a mixture of snot and tears running down her face as she seemed to shrink away from Wolfsbane in fear of what her punishment would be, putting distance between herself and her father figure. She was scared at what Wolfsbane would say, what he would do in reaction to her trying to sneak out. She was scared.