Posts by cloudwatcher

Meet and greets. They brought him back to his days as an apprentice of Windclan, trying to learn about everyone and remember their name. He was glad some things didn't change. "Halcyon." His voice was still gruff and gravely, the former medicine cat still recovering from escaping Windclan's tunnels. "Hm, I like herbs. I was a medicine cat here, once... I taught Hawk...moth," He answered, tired blue eyes looking over the other Windclanners.

Ah, and with the looming threat of leaf-bare hanging over their heads, it was check up time. Despite it only being a month or so in the tunnels, Halcyon felt as if he had aged into an elder. He was never a tall cat, but the cramped, half crumbled ceilings certainly didn't help. "Hawkmoth." The mottled tom grumbled quietly as he slowly moved forward towards the front of the group, blue eyes wearily glancing back at the rest of the clanmates gathered. Ah, he didn't need to waste these cats time. He was still weak and dizzy, unable to carry his weight in the clan, filling him with guilt. The least he could do was get his own herbs. "You've...got quite the group. I...I'll grab my own herbs and be on my way, if that's okay."

Halcyon had seen the weight leader's had to carry time and time again. While Mistralstar was only beginning her new, 9-lived journey, her shoulders already slumped, head low as she tried to sneak back into her den. What the hell did Starclan tell her? 'Nothing good comes from them,' He quietly grumped in his head, tail flicking slightly as he watched Thornstep try and offer the new leader some freshkill.

Maybe he was overthinking things.

Getting up from his spot in camp, Halcyon sauntered over next to Thornstep, a slightly amused smile curling on the tom's face. Up closer, Halcyon could see the excitement shining from her. Maybe this time will be better. "I wouldn't worry to much, I think Mistralstar is just tired, Thornstep." The ex-medicine cat mumbled to his clanmate, trying to calm his nerves a tad.

Approaching on still shaky legs, Halcyon's ears flattened as he overheard the kitten recounting her story, his anger mixing with concern as she slipped into a coughing fit. How sad it was, parents ditching their children at the border. Halcyon knew it well. The mottled tom knew he couldn't say anything on the matter without risking scaring the little one with his anger at his own parents, but there were some other statements that needed to be clarified. He could sense how scared she was. Halcyon slowly lowered his body to the ground, wincing as his sore bones ached. He was trying to be on the same level as the kitten, not wanting to seem as big or scary. "We don't eat other cats here, little one," Pausing a moment, Halcyon got back up, quickly going to Mistralstar's side. "Would you like me to grab Minksplash or Hawkmoth? I'm worried the little one has whitecough, or is developing it." He asked, voice quiet so Leaf wouldn't hear him and get even more scared.

Interesting. it seemed there was another thorn in Windclan's side. Of course, Halcyon wasn't too sure about what Whitelightning had done, but the more out of line cats that kept the suspicion off of Halcyon, the better.

Jeez, what was he thinking. No one recognized him anymore, and Hawkmoth didn't seem to be saying anything about the tunnel situation.

"Congrats," The tom mewed curtly, before leaving the scene again with a swish of his tail.

Halcyon was feeling the same way as Thistledown; cramped and restless. His posture and strength were beginning to heal, which was good since Leafbare was right around the corner. The tom came and settled down next to the rest of his clanmates, his fluffy tail curling around himself to help trap the heat in. "I hope you don't mind me listenin' in as well."

// if u still need another number then 5!

The older tom felt as if he needed to get out more. He was still weak and malnourished looking, but damn was he feeling a lot better than when he had first re-emerged from the tunnels. "I need to stretch my legs; I hope you don;t mind me tagging along." The feathery tom mewed, yawning slightly as he approached. He hadn't seen the barn in...a long long time.

Months had passed as Halcyon resettled into his life in Windclan.

But things weren't as peaceful as the tom had hoped. On the outside, he seemed fine, minus the lingering effects of the undernourishment from surviving in tunnels and his general sourpuss attitude. The past few weeks, as the weather went from steaming, leafgreen hot, to freezing cold, Halcyon's demeanor gradually changed. The mottled white and grey tom was suddenly more paranoid, more on edge. Logically, the mysteries Starclan were producing would produce these feelings. But instead, the Windclanner was finally starting to deal with bubbling feelings of guilt and anxiety from his past, his mistakes beginning to haunt him.

Halcyon was finding that he couldn't take the feeling anymore. The ex-medic also knew he wasn't about to just go and admit he was responsible for the death of one of the past Windclan leaders though. Even in his state of paranoia, Halcyon wasn't that stupid.

He was pacing in one of the corner's of the camp, claws flexing in and out as he did so. No one was around, from what he could notice, but he was speaking. Even if no one did end up hearing, words of his past were out in the world, and the now-skitterish tom could feel the weight lifting from his shoulders-- at least for now.

"Windclan, Windclan....I was born here, I was lied too-- I'm not a loner, I was lied too so I...I left," Halcyon's rough voice was hasty, words just slipping out. "I served this clan, I helped...I helped, but I wasn't Halcyon, no, I'm still not, that isn't my name,"

[ brief backstory: halcyon/cloudwatcher is an ex-member of windclan from some years ago. he's been back under the name of halcyon for awhile now, i just haven't had the muse to play him! so most cats would probably recognize him as the cat who survived the tunnel collapses from a few months back! ]

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Cloudwatcher approached next, his feathery tail flicked around nervously as he glanced around the camp. The anxiety plaguing the tom dissipated slowly as wonder overtook him, blue eyes following along the little glowing bugs. The wonder wasn't his, at first, and Cloudwatcher was wondering why he felt that way.

"Stars..." He echoed Honeyflower, crouching down almost as if he were going to pounce at one of the fireflies. But the Windclanner just sat like that, staring, overwhelmed with the feeling of awe and wonder.

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"Blood of the innocent between claws, only to sustain yourself. Confusion, do I have too? Wishing for peace, for sustainability." Cloudwatcher mumbled almost silently, sky-blue eyes closing briefly as he walked towards the slowly gathering group. An unsettling feeling of disgust, fear, shame washed over him, and he stumbled trying to put it into words. The tom knew how Elkroot felt, both from experience and...literally?

If he was himself from a month ago, Cloudwatcher would have probably joined in with Whitelightning in berating the new warrior. If Cloudwatcher was himself from two years ago, he would have sympathized heavily with the tom. He remembered being too afraid to fight, his long pelt and short legs dragging him down.

"Everyone evolves at different paces," Was all the ragged tom would mew. Starclan knows how much he's changed.

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The mixed tones of excitement and distaste annoyed the tom as he approached. While not bringing it to light to others, Cloudwatcher was getting rather good at ignoring the fact he could suddenly feel other's emotions. Ignore, push aside, like he did with everything else.

Coming up, he side eyed the rest of the group, sitting quietly. He knew of no allies beyond Bloodclan-- but that was a pact probably long destroyed.

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His blue, distant gaze immediately sharpened as Elkroot brought him back down from his thoughts. His gaze was surprisingly sharp, despite but really feeling any anger towards the younger. "Mm?" He hummed softly, Cloud still processing what Elk had asked. "Oh. Yes. I'm quite alright; are you?" His fluffy tail flicked, curling around the opposite side of himself now, blinking softly at the new warrior.

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

// info about AU cloud: 32 Moons, just escaped from the tunnels, still goes by Halcyon at this time, pre-power gift

It seemed with the fresh air, came back his normal anger and bitterness towards life. But who could blame him? The tom had just been trapped under rubble and dirt, in the collapsed tunnel system that ran throughout Windclan's territory. He was lucky he was somewhat familiar with them from his early days in life, when he was still...young. As Cloudpaw, not Halcyon.

Despite very well knowing the food hierarchy, Halcyon felt as though it'd be okay for him to snag a piece of prey. It was obvious he needed it; if a paw pressed against his dull pelt, you could easily feel his ribs. The only reason why they weren't showing was because of how thick said fur was. Plucking out a mouse from the pile, the raggedy Hal settled down near-by the hustle and bustle of the rest of the clan, blue eyes watching as one of the new apprentices eyed Whitepaw from some bushes, while Maddog was huffing about not being able to sleep. The sight of them stomping their foot made Halcyon chuckle softly, trying to hide his knowing grin behind the mouse.

At least he could take pleasure in a few things in this world, still.

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

Halcyon's head turned back to Whitepaw, quirking an eyebrow. Ah, of course he was going to be challenged by someone. No surprise it was one of the apprentices, probalby with the warrior code influencing his every step. "Excuse you, but after being forced to live on worms for the last moon, I think I can take a mouse to help regain my strength." Halcyon quickly snipped, taking a bite of the prey before it could be possibly snatched from him.

// ic onions :]

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

/ thanks for making and waiting on my response! also sorry this got super long, dont worry about matching length or anything

Cloudwatcher had become attuned to his newfound power. While many could have considered the fact that Starclan was still able to grant someone a power not only a gift but a miracle that should be appreciated, the ex-medicine cat couldn't help but feel nothing but anger for the ancestors above. Perhaps it was to teach him a lesson, but Cloudwatcher considered it nothing but a nuisance and a curse set upon him. He truly wished that all it was, was being able to sense emotions of all things, but knowing Starclan that wouldn't be the only trick up their damned sleeve.

And he was right! Of course the mottled tom was right.

Tired and stressed, Cloudwatcher had slipped into sleep, hoping to get away from the overwhelming nature of dealing with not only his feelings, but other cats'. Tonight was not the night he would be able to sleep restfully though, it seemed, as when he opened his eyes in the dream-world he immediately noticed a molly not too far away. One he didn't recognize, any less.

His first thought was that it was a grown Maplekit. It'd make sense; the meadows they were in reminded him of Windclan's spanning fields. Panic set in on his heart, though; why would the kitten that died due to his negligence be visiting him? Wasn't Starclan to have said lost connection with the mortal plane? So why would Maplekit be visiting him now? Was she the reason he was dealing with this...power?

Stepping forward, blue eyes glared at the grass that crunched under his paws before returning his attention to Cloudednight. "H-Hello?" He called out to the figure, wondering if and how they'd respond. It was the first time he heard that telling waver in his voice, noting his nervousness. It made him feel like a helpless apprentice again, relying on Windclan for everything.

It wasn't a good feeling.

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

One thing Cloudwatcher missed about being a medic was being able to organize everything just how he liked it, and going out and collecting herbs. The habit of collecting medicine never left him, either; oftentimes Cloud would find himself wandering the fields mindlessly, carefully plucking fresh leaves while making sure to leave enough to regrow, quietly leaving them by the medicine cat's den before slipping away and doing something else.

Today was one of those days. Everything was too loud in his head; the broad spectrum of emotions constantly present in Windclan was getting to him, and after eating his breakfast, the tom quickly left to be by himself. Normally he'd hunt, but his paws needed something to do-- so finding herbs it was. Sky blue eyes stared down at the ground before him, his claws gently brushing over a stem of goldenrod to see if there was any damage on the plant, before swiftly plucking it and adding it to a small pile of other herbs next to him.

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

It almost seemed like Cloudwatcher didn't even register the fact that the two had appeared, but the wave of sudden curiosity bugging him warned him ahead of time of clanmates approaching. Lightly plucking at another stem of goldenrod, he set it down gently, before spreading out the assortment of herbs before the two Windclanners.

A pang of sadness shot through him as he prepared to tell Weaselclaw and Mistpaw about the herb, his mind flashing back to his early days teaching Buzzardpaw. Sighing briefly, Cloud extended a claw and tapped the stems of goldenrod. "These are called Goldenrod. If you have some cuts, chew some of this up and smear it on top of them, and it'll help heal it right up." He began, voice filled with confidence. His explanations were short and concise, remnants left over from when he had trained his apprentice so long ago. "These purple flowers are lavender. Not only do they just smell good, they can help reduce fever. And these leaves here," He picked one up, waving it in front of the two. "Lungwort. Good for getting rid of yellowcough. We've been lucky enough to not have an outbreak recently, but it's always good to have some in stock."

Glancing at the two younger Windclanner, Cloudwatcher offered them a soft smile. "Any questions?"

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

Giving a contented nod towards Mistpaw, displaying his approval, his attention was immediately brought to Birdbones and Boasong as they approached. His ear flicked with slight worry he annoyed them by taking over their job, and his suspicions were partially confirmed. Swallowing, he glanced between the two, wondering which one was... jealous, was it? 'Not many jealous cats around here that I know of,' He thought to himself, ignoring the nerves he had. Yet again, he was cursing Starclan for the gift he had been given.

"No." Cloudwatcher spoke bluntly in response to Boasong, and even he winced at the response; he was used to being bitter and harsh, but that...response wasn't even true, let alone well thought out. 'When did I care about hurting someone else's feelings?' "Er-- well, yes and no." His sky blue gaze searched Boasong's face for a reaction, pausing a moment to try and pick something up with The Sight. "I was Windclan's medicine cat at one point, for quite a long while. I trained Buzzardflight, who trained...Hawk-something or another, I think." He explained, tail wavering just a tad, his gaze dropping to the moore below them. A slight sigh escaped Cloudwatcher, thinking back to the earlier days.

"Things got crazy, I got trapped in the tunnels for awhile, and now I'm here again. I did go by Halcyon for a bit though." As he pushed the conversation forward, he relaxed a little, the general aura of the group doing so as well, it seemed. Cloudwatcher stopped short after he remembered his past name, his head turning to finally address Birdbones with a dip of his head. "Of course, I'm glad to help whenever I can. I hope you don't think I'm stealing your job, because, uh, I'm not." Good Starclan, now he was just suspicious.

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

Commotion by the protected nursery drew Cloudwatcher over, out of concern. But the excitement radiating from the little area hit Cloud like a wall as soon as he got close enough, infectious happiness and joy overwhelming his senses. 'Good Starclan,' He thought, exasperated. Sighing lightly and shaking his head, the mottled tom couldn't force the smile off his face for much longer, tail curling contentedly as he gave into the positive emotion.

For the most part, Cloudwatcher had strayed away from kittens, feeling guilty of his past negligence as a medic. But...the past was the past, and besides, there were young ones to be watching over now anyways. Still standing, blue eyes darted over to the deputy, quirking an amused eyebrow up at Brightshine. "What made you wanna take this job?"

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.

Huffing only lightly, Cloudwatcher smiled at Brightshine's response. One time, in days long past, Cloudwatcher would have been in her position; setting up games for the children to play, teaching them about herbs, informing them about the ways of a warrior...

"Hey!" Cloud instinctively said back, sky blue eyes widening as he was volunteered for the game. Well, guess he wasn't going anywhere. Sitting down, he glanced around the group, readying himself. "I've had quite some time to master this game," He quipped back to Brightshine, smiling softly as he waited for Crowkit's pass.

"speech."

well, i think i'm gonna burn in hell —— tags.