ALL THESE YEARS I'VE BEEN SEARCHING OF WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
To live is to die. He'd known that his whole life. He'd be lying if he said he was at peace with his passing, it was still as fresh in his mind as it was the very second he blinked his eyes open to this starry oasis. He longed to be able to say he didn't have any regrets, no unfinished business on the land of living...But he did. If he'd known then he would have stopped by the nursery, held his daughter. Said a simple but sweet farewell to his mate, let her know that he was there for her, he was just going out for a bit but would be back by sunfall. Maybe he would have paused at the camp's entrance, peer over his shoulder, and take one last heavy look at the camp. Being a watchful bystander at the comings and goings of the clan had become a favorite pastime of his, he always loved to see them thrive. Loved to see that even through the hardships they still fought tooth and nail to live. Some part of him wished he'd done the same. He had left so much behind.
Yet this wasn't about him, wasn't it? There was something he didn't regret about that day and she was standing right here in StarClan's lands. Seeing Brightshine was like tasting soured honey. Sweet but painful. There was so much he wanted to say to her, tell her he was sorry once more to leave such a heavy burden on her shoulders but he knew she was strong, and the calico would become one of WindClan's finest leaders, a prospect he was actually excited about to see unfold from the heavens. Impatience flickered through his face as he waited for those before him to finish, his shifting form seated beside Honeyflower and Fluxgrin. When it finally came to his time though he seemed surprised that time had passed quicker than he had thought it was, and his ghostly eyes widened ever so slightly. "Brightshine." The new StarClanner greeted, using her soon to be past name for old time's sake, a loud and genuine purr erupting from him. "I don't think any introductions are needed between us. You were one of my closest friends, an excellent deputy, and now you're about to become a great leader. There's nobody else that I would have wanted by my side and nobody else that I believe in as much as I believe in you. And I know that WindClan believes in you just as much." Loved by all she certainly was, he'd been envious of her ability to weasel into the coldest of hearts. As he sighed his starry body deflated gently, wanting to say more than what passed through his lips. He wanted to sit for hours and relish in his friend's company, chat like they once had but time was a luxury they did not have right now.
Rising from his seat the deceased leader padded up towards her, leaning forward to gently touch his nose to her forehead. Feelings were different here but he could have sworn that he felt a slight brush of warmth swim through him. "Your path ahead will be one filled with many joys and many trials. Although I know that you can handle the whole world onto your shoulders, there will come a time where things may feel like too much. With this life I give your perseverance. Use it to charge right into difficult times, tackle problems, and above all believe in yourself and the clan." For a moment his thoughts flashed back to when he was receiving his lives, how they felt coursing through his body. That familiar lightning bolt jerking through his limbs, some as agonizing as the fire he'd burned up in and others as tender as the soft moorland grass beneath his feet. He wondered, what this one might feel to her as he took a step back from his friend. "My father gave me the life of forgiveness. For so long I blamed myself for his death, it haunted me with every step I took for a long long time. Always remember to forgive yourself for things that are left out of your control Brightstar. You often can't decide the fate of others, not even your own."
One last soft glance as cast her way before he turned back towards his original spot. Seating himself comfortably Duck would quietly meow one last thing before falling silent, "Please tell them I love them." His family, his friends. She would understand those who he'd left unsaid, after all there were times when she had understood him more than he'd understood himself and a tiny proud smile formed on his lips as he waited for the ceremony to continue.
ALL THAT TIME I’VE BEEN WASTING, IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME