Posts by infinitelies

Darksky glanced over at Nightfeather after a moment, and noticed that something was wrong. The kit lost its priority as Nightfeather passed it out. It just wasn't her day seemed and Nightfeather immediately rushed to gather stuff for Nighfeather. Juniper leaves for respiratory issues, which she knew he'd been having, honey for the throat after. She couldn't think.

How was she supposed to be a good medicine cat when she couldn't handle two cats?

She had a feeling pain was directly involved, and gathered several poppy seeds. Darkysky gently prodded his mouth open, dropped them in and did what she saw best for the nest step. Juniper leaves. She put the leaf against his mouth, hoping he would attempt to eat it. If he didn't, she didn't have many options left. He was bigger than the kit by way.

Just not giving it really wasn't an option for a medicine cat dealing with patients all the time. C'mon, chew, she thought to herself anxiously.

"Stop making me so anxious! You, and the kit.. All of you!" Darksky cried, heading back to the kit for a second. "I'm giving her back to her mom, she's fine now. Don't die while I'm gone for a moment." The stress of that day was starting to get to her, and it was starting to crack through.

Don't let yourself crack, Darksky, she told herself as she carried the kit back to the nursery. She placed it down beside Iceyes. With a smile she said something small about the kit now being okay, much to her relief.

"I know it will... It just, it's just all too much sometimes." Darksky sighed, sitting down and looking at the ground. "Sometimes I don't think I was meant for this, but I know it's what I always wanted. And well, it's too late to turn back now..." Not that she ever would - she loved what she did.

"Today... it showed me. I wasn't ready to do this by myself." Why had her mentor left her? Better question, why did she have to be born so late in to her mentor's life that she lost him before she was ready to do it by herself?

"They would have found a different medicine cat instead, one who didn't break under stress like that," Darksky said, eying the ground. She had never doubted her abilities like this before, but what if they badger had got to the camp and ravaged everything they had. She would have had so much more work to do, so many more injuries to tend to. She wouldn't have been able to do it by herself.

The black she-cat inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself.

"Yes, Aspenwhisker..." She said quietly. "Lavender is a good idea right now," she told the warrior and lifted her head. Maybe it would help clear her head a little.

"Sometimes a medicine cat needs to be told what's best for them. We're not superheroes, we still need to be looked out for once and a while," Darksky told Aspenwhisker to show that she didn't feel offended by the warrior telling her a part of her own job. She was actually glad that her and Nightfeather were caring.

"May StarClan light your path as well, Aspenwhisker," she told the warrior as she got up to find a lavender flower somewhere in the den.

((I would have included a 'may', but it sounded about right :3 ))

Darksky heard him mumble under his breath, and looked at him somewhat curiously. What exactly did he mean by that?

"Why is what forbidden?" She asked him, head angled so that she could get a good view of his face. It had to be one of the wierdest things she had heard said today.

((I have to go, probably won't be on till after school tomorrow.))

Poppystar struggled to her feet, bleeding and torn. She needed the medicine cat, and now. When no one was paying attention, Stormflight left off on his journey to try and recruit IvyClan cats.

"Because love could stray me from my job..." Darksky said quietly, looking down at the ground and thinking. Nightfeather had basically just admitted to loving her, and she had never felt more torn in her life. Love him back and break the code that hold warriors together, or deny it and fight it until it tore her apart.

There was no proper way to win this.

(( Now I'm going. xD ))

"I-it's okay, Nightfeather," Darksky sighed, looking at the tom with a look of sad understanding. "I shouldn't have put myself in it, either. I knew from the start what I was giving up, but somewhere down the line I stopped caring a little, faltered a step. I wish that our love could exist, but it can't without consequences." It was hard on her, saying the words out loud. She didn't want to give up the idea of loving him, but she'd heard stories about medicine cats who loved when they shouldn't have.

The she-cat brought her paw to her face, licked it, and rubbed it against the white of her chest, an attempt to fix a spot that had been annoying her. She felt horrible right then, trying to fight one of the most natural things there were in life.

Fighting a she-cat was one thing, killing was another. Though he would fight any enemy he had to, and death wasn't a preferred outcome, Hawktail would have much preferred to chase them out then kill them.

"Probably not. Like, unless she killed my mother or something. I'm strong, not cruel." Hawktail responded in response, body shrinking just a little bit. What was the point of Blazewing's questioning? It wasn't appreciated, and he was known for faltering in words. He could say one wrong thing in response, and she could bombard him with fifty new questions related to that.

"It's possible to win against an attacker without killing them," he added, trying to regain his composure from before.

"I'm sorry!" Grasskit called as soon as she realized that her attempt at being strong, and succeeding, was a little more affect on Glasskit than she would have liked. The tiny silver kit walked over to her siblings and looked them over.

"You guys okay?" She asked, hoping for all around yesses as her answers.

[br]I am a long furred she-cat with lively eyes and a small build. Despite being raised in a way that dictates my every being by my less-than-perfect mother, I want nothing more than to escape from her. I'm one to hold a grudge against others, especially those who have wronged me, or I view have wronged me, but to those I care for, well, I'm caring. Though I'm still just young I plan to grow up strong and I have big goals in life - I want to be the best warrior in the Clan. I've always been a bit of a trouble maker around anyone, but I'll grow out of it some day.
[br]When I was a kit my sister was killed by a hawk. She was deaf, didn't know to get out of the way. It's a sad story, I guess - is it bad that I never cared? My mother just about abandoned me when I didn't care to attend her funeral. I guess since mommy lost her little princess, I got the hard end of the stick. Meh, she didn't like me anyway. I was too much trouble for her. Maybe that was why she told me I was worthless. Man, am I going to prove her wrong some day.

"Yes," Darksky agreed, eying the ground with a saddened expression on her face. If only there were different circumstances, or a way they could with out trouble. But secrets were never truly secrets - someone always found out. Always. If they were to love in secrecy, they would be risking her entire career as a medicine cat, as well as the fate StarClan would through upon them.

"I guess you will, and I guess I-" The she cat was cut off by the sound of Crowstar entering the den. She looked up from the ground, wondering what her leader had to say to her now. Hopefully there wasn't more trouble for her to deal with - she'd had more than she could handle for one day.

"Yes, of course," she said in a soft tone, hiding all hints of regret from earlier so that Crowstar wouldn't suspect anything. Darksky stood up and padded over to him. "What do you need?" She mewed.

Grasskit shuddered slightly when Glasskit shook the water out of her pelt. Though one day she might like water again, for now she despised it.

Username: infinitelies
Name of Apprentice: Fernpaw
Gender: Female
Age: 7 moons
Looks: Small long-furred red tabby she-cat with blue eyes .
Picture of Cat: Fernpaw, but give blue eyes.
Personality: She's a bit of a trouble-maker with the urge to rebel from everything her mother taught her. Fernpaw is judgemental and one to hold a grudge, and her deepest one is against her mother. Fernpaw has lost nearly all access to the positive range of emotions, as well as sadness and greif. They're possible, she just doesn't care for them. She's fairly mellow for someone so young, and skeptical about nearly everything.
Link to bio: Here you go.
Activity Level: I've only been here just over 48 hours, but I'm here daily :3
Roleplay Sample: Not an average, it's actually a bit longer than usual, but hope it's good.

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Don't touch me, Fernkit ached to say as a ginger tabby she-cat attempted to groom her. It was invasive, unrequired, and the only reason she didn't lay a paw on the intruder was because if she even tried to, the stupid leader would delay her apprenticeship ceremony. That was something that couldn't be tolerated, as the small ginger kit only wanted out of the nursery.

Attacking her mother would be counter-productive, even if it was just to make up for all the times the inconsiderate she-cat had taunted her, brought her down, and ruined any trace of happiness in her. Maybe one day the queen would realize that downing her only living kit because she hadn't liked her sister was a bad idea. After all, what kit loved a mother that told them they were horrible because they didn't care to see their sibling's dead body?

"Now, don't get your fur messed up. I want you looking good, Fernkit. And no excuses," The queen hissed at her, getting impatient as Fernkit's paw swooped over her head to 'fix' the fur between her ears. Who did she think she was, bossing around Fernkit like she was a slave? She was hardly more than a baby, and this was what she got.

Most queens just wanted what was best. This one just wanted her gone. Fernkit could tell. The tiny ginger tabby had never been the favourite, Cinderkit had been. All deaf and lame - useless!

She could basically guarentee her mother wished it was her who had got killed by the hawk instead of Cinderkit.

"Go away," Fernkit told the queen, moving her body to rough up her freshly groomed fur slightly. She didn't like the feel of her mother's 'perfection'.

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Also, Fawnwhisker turned evil and hates the medicine cat because he rejected her entirely. She feels broken and abused, and in hatred for him and what he did to her, she wants him dead.

"I think it would be too... I wasn't really ready to do this by myself in the first place... Hazeleye's passing came too suddenly.." She was thinking deeper than her words, trying to figure out who would be her best choice - and if they would agree to join her. StarClan, give me a sign, she thought, looking up at the sky hopefully.

Darksky's mind was wandering as she thought, deviating between StarClan, who to chose as an apprentice, and her moment with Nightfeather mere minutes ago. It was stuck on her mind - what was she to do there? She had never been one to deny the truth, but she felt like she had to. Why did the Warrior Code have to make being a medicine cat difficult?

"Aspenwhisker..." Darksky mused, saying her name in a soft tone as she thought. "She did good today, helping calm down both Iceyes and me. She looks like, with a little work, she could be the perfect helper. And Dewkit... Dewkit just needs a little prod in the right direction to get what she needs. In the end, it's up to them, though."

"Certain disadvantages everyone realizes when they become a medicine cat. No matter what the choice is, they will lose their ability to love another a their full potential." Darksky told Crowstar. It didn't matter too much. She couldn't make a problem of an oath she had agreed to willingly. She may had been young, but she had known what she wanted.

"But, in replacement, they gain the love of the entire Clan, and the ability to love them all. The exhilerating feel of knowing you saved someone's life, or at least helped them out," Darksky mumbled. It was worth the trade, but she couldn't help but feel wrong at that moment.

"Whoever takes the role won't regret it." She added, nodding at Nightfeather as he left the den.