Posts by ferfaen.

    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    she had learned of virgo through mumbled prayers and soft whispers that had danced upon the fall winds. the sight of the molly, dancing through life, had brought ferfaen closer to her comfort zone. never in her fenced in life had she a care or a worry, for everything was perfect. still and calm, nothing could hurt her.


    circling, like a vulture to forgotten prey, had virgo spun. almost drawing ferfaen dizzy as she had watched. eyes rolling and flickering with each paw step and grass-filled step. the other’s carefree and calm, maybe even excited, attitude had been as much infectious as it was alluring.


    "a fine day, isn’t it?" autumn was always nice, the lost girl recalled. each fallen leaf was a delight and the crisp winds may have bit at her lungs, but it was so clear. she had always loved the early mornings, where the sun struggled to climb higher and painted the sky in such bright and loving shades of pinks and purples. wonderful, she would always cry, wonderful to see it. wonderful to breath it. wonderful to be alive in autumn. "had something good happened? you look blissful." she was used to the oversharing her neighbours had. gossip spreading like dandelion seeds. but everyone here seemed far more silent, far more closed off.


    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    her life, was indeed, one of privilege and lavish gifts. a doting owner, a warm bed every night and a bowl filled with fresh meat. no kibbles that the light box had often showed, but something warm and fresh and comforting. fae had never taken her life for granted, never grew selfish with her gifts and never became conceited. she knew her weaknesses and her strengths, she was proud, but delicate and caring. never had a boast came from the woman's maw, aside from a few kit-taled words. when the talk of feral cats had first came to light, fae had been worried for them. had they not grown cold? hungry? why would they not settle for the compassion of a two-leg? let themselves feel the love? a million and one questions could tumble from curious lips, but none would remain answered.


    she had been lucky throughout her life, aside from her days of horror and pain destroying her, lucky to end in skyclan. the rest of the prides seemed to be shrouded, unknown to the fae as she had simply relished in skyclan's gentle earth. still, the image of a dagger-clawed cat was reinforced in her mind, a shred of uncertainty in each step she had taken. but with the moon smiling so gently, so warmly, down upon her, ferfaen could almost forget it all.


    a man, dark as night with silver linings had appeared just as he had before. a ghost, faint and yet ethereally real. his eyes seemed to be the only color doused into his appearance. bright, piercing, almost unreal as she had looked towards him. wolf..wolf...wolfveil? no..no that wasn't one. a voice of roughened pine had spoke before she could figure out a puzzle so breaking.


    you should eat, a sentence she's heard before. a sentence she dreaded, yet appreciated. "it...it is different..." cautious, uncertain, fearful. well knowing that the rodent had already passed, it was the fear of eating. for she hadn't deserved a meal. she had failed, lost and killed her young due to his careless and unknowing ways. this food should have been for them. but ferfaen was only an animal, controlled more by instinct than a plaguing mental state.


    "thank you...wolf...but i'd feel better if you would at least share it with me, i don't think i can handle it all." the day when a mouse seemed like too much, how far she had fallen from grace. a kit, flame-faced and wild, would have dug in immediately. no worries, no cares. but a kit must grow, and grow she had. a smile, as wavering as the crescent moon above, but as gentle as a songbird's wings. a paw, shakily resting with an urge to push it all away had remain dug in the ground. she could eat in a better conscious if he had dined with her.

     

    imbaby is typing...

    imbaby lololol kes, not the biggest honor to agree with rud

    imbaby no offense rud <3 ily

    imbaby love is important, it helps us all grow and better, platonic or romantic <3

    imbaby as for me, i dont have any infatuations :/

    imbaby hangover? aren't you a little young, char?

    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    tired, hungry, and trapped in her overbearing mind. she could imagine the house, once dark in these night time blues, alive with a fretting woman. she could see her dear friend, staring out of those iron bars for a twinkle of ferfaen's pale moon coat. instead of a silken sheet she had slept in a bed of moss and leaves. she couldn't decide if it was comfortable or not, but many sleepless nights had stayed in her past, and they would continue in her present. downcast eyes, upon her aching paws as the stars had whispered for her to take a glance at them. for in the stars had she seen four wide-eyed kits. for in the stars dance she heard their laughter, the laughter so contagious as they had frolicked in an evergreen garden.


    now there was no garden. no frolicking kits. only ferfaen in a place that was told in horror stories and warnings. her arrival was quiet, and her escort into the clan was a silent journey. her heart had spoke enough, beating against frail a rib cage. a finch fluttering against a cage far too small and wishing to be freed. the world seemed so far away in these instances. of utter quiet and loneliness.


    her stomach had twisted and grumbled, as bleary eyes had tried to quiet it down. ferfaen had shot down the offer for food, too fearful of what would happen. what had happened to her? fear had used to be a mere thought diminished within seconds. now she had became frightened of the very thing needed to sustain life. would it have been too late to ask? would she even eat it? the man from before...one of the wolves...offered a meal. would the offer still stand?


    within a place so unfamiliar, a girl frozen to the spot with a war inside her. conflict. should she or shouldn't she?


    WOLFSHADE.

    >;3c fae and wolf thread fae and wolf thread

    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    the taste of tainted ichor had coated her tongue, swallowing down her own tears to not worry the child any further. another kit had emerged, and she had wanted to shush him and send him off to bed. the less panic the better, but as soon as the boy had appeared, they had disappeared once again. a brief blink before they had called out a name unfamiliar to the resting woman as she had reached to pull milk closer, softly and gently. as if to hide the child from prying star-lit eyes, blinking and shooting past.


    a soft whimper of a song had alerted ferfaen to the child, thrusted into her care to unexpectedly, and a warm smile graced her paled features. "do you see that big star, the one shining so bright?" a small tilt of her head towards the beacon of light, keeping an eye on his aching wounds and tending to them at every instance possible. "let your eyes follow the path leading to it, all the stars inter-connected with it. what do you see?" her mother had always shown her this one. deep in her heart had it twinkled and shined. a younger version of ferfaen would have whispered how it had looked like a cat, with eyes of stars and a smile filled with wishes.


    another cat, carrying an energy of a raging fire and the fellow molly's anger was understandable. who was it? she had demanded, but fae had been a lost for words. "...do you know who hurt you?" a whisper directed towards milkkit, hoping that the energy would die down in these moments.

    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    a soul of a different tune, rather than blocking her, allowing him to be visible in his entrance. both made of shadows, darkness engulfed in their pelts as the golden dove had fluttered and nervousness crept upon dusted wings. one cat was plausible, two made her feel the hope disappear. she had wished that the cat upon the fence hadn't been true. that ferfaen had still roamed, uninterrupted. that she may rest upon the sun rays that leaked through the leaves. they have both spoke of the name of skyclan, and she wasn't sure of what to think of it. they were well on the ground,


    the wolves were around her, yet they did not bite or snarl. they spoke softly, devoid of malicious intent. perhaps it was pity upon a poor housecat down on her luck, or perhaps they were painted in the wrong light. the horror stories had still clung to her silken pelt, whispering their doubts in her down-cast ears. but with a wavering grin of her own, she had let them go ignored.


    "two wolves, forgive me if i can't remember your correct names." wolftooth and wolf..shade? perhaps their entire pride was of wolves, and she was a simple rabbit in a snare. "my name is ferfaen.." soft as a cast towards home had gone in a flash. their offer was tempting, generous even. "a rest would be wonderful, but i can't take too much from you. a meal won't be necessary." she had food at home, albeit uneaten and often nauseating at this hellish point. no amount of tempting her owners had done, no amount of time was enough.

    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    to rest they had said to her in fabled voices as her grip on reality had slipped. her paws still ached and her bones felt like bricks upon the ground. but even in her slumber, had horror continued in the night. a jolt, a pulse. a wavering and flickering hope that it was a nightmare, that the yelling would fade once her eyes had snapped open. but it hadn’t. like ghouls, did they scream and screech. but she could not make out the words. fuzzy and faint, with the need for sleep biting at her eyelids. a weak lurch, but she was truly stuck. no longer in control of her body, resting while her head remained alert and awake.


    she had seen a molly, panicked and screaming with a child. ferfaen has wanted nothing more than to comfort her, calm her worried and yet, she remained. worried etched in bony features, mouth agape with weak pleas. to rest. to be at ease. but the scent of trauma lingered and hung in the waning summer night.


    a child, as beautiful as child could be was set before her, and the woman had bounded off with a promise of revenge on her tongue. leaving a tired stranger and a scarred young with curiosities wizzing about. she had wanted to cry, but nothing had poured from her eyes, a dam gone empty. instead, she had aimed to rid the blood from the child’s coat, a soft and wispy breath to remind her that this was real. in a twisted way, ferfaen had not wanted the mother to come back, in a hopeless attempt at another child. but loss was loss, either way. she could not wish that upon anyone; less a child.



    the kit’s eyes faltered and wavered, with an equal amount of exhaustion weighing upon him. wishing to take the child into her arms, a safe and ever welcoming embrace in fearful times. but there was a light, stars reflected in his eyes. bleary as they may be, she could see. "my dear, what a fretful night you’ve had. " a calm and warm whisper, never wishing to drag away his fascination. "the stars are pretty. do you know of any constellations?" a distraction would work well, but his mind was far too young to understand what had happened. a mixture of shock and innocence.


     

    ohh!! this sounds fun!!

    ferfaen is a daylight warrior of skyclan and has recently just lost her own kits, but due to being in an extremely depressive state and not being able to take care of herself, the litter would more than likely be lost ;( but that could be some extra angst in the mix!!

    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    while the world, for her, was in a frozen tilt, it had still inched and ran for everyone else. the grass beneath her had still grown, still flourished and still wove in the gentle wind's of a winding summer. the trees had still held to their leaves, unwilling to let go for the incoming autumn bite. wanderlust, enrapturing a soul meant for sunlight trickling through window panes and fenced in forests. yet, for the others who had inhabited these wild and untamed lands, it was a common scene. how two eyes would see and wander in different ways was fascinating. and a voice had came through, like the wind blowing through the trees and dancing between growing twigs sprouting their first bloom.


    it did not speak of her name, never followed with delicate whistles. it was not the voices she wished to hear, wished to hold once again. but this voice was new, never harsh but instead curious and strict. he had appeared before her like an apparition, and for a few seconds, the girl thought she had passed. but the ache in her paws were all too real, all too alive. you seem to be far from home. yes, she was. no pumpkin scents floated through the air, with the melodic tune of a heating stove with fresh cookies coming out. no sign of an iron fence. it was all still and silent, aside from the occasional ring of a blue-bird flying high, or a finch peppering it's opinions into the air. "yes...perhaps i am." soft, wavering, weak. it felt as if her throat had been scraped with every word that had came out.


    eyes dancing across him, before settling on overactive reactions and daggers in the fertile soil. usually, she would have cowered and plead to be let go safely. yet it was all dull and quiet in her heart. no fear coursing through her veins and a dead-look in her eyes. accepting whatever fate had gave her. "i've never been this far away from home, i guess i had forgotten to look where i was going." she had ignored her pace, if she left tracks in the ground, or if she had remained undignified in her stature. "do you live here?" she had heard rumors of wild cats from a neighboring soul, a girl who was so dismissive of everything that had laid far from their fenced in worlds. dismissive of ferfaen's longing. fae hadn't known if it was supposed to deter her from the wild, or if it was true.

    HISTORY DOES NOT GRIEVE FOR THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS ——— TAGS


    a smile had once claimed her lips, wide and brilliant. like a waning moon it had rose, pictured eternally in framed photos, a silky coat shining in the camera's flash. it all seemed so far away, yet it was all there. the feel of new fur against her baby pink pads, the cries of her own young as she had shushed them each and every night, a song tracing her tongue as each one was lulled to rest. it all remained a mystery, far to tangled in her head, like yarn rolling across the carpeted hallways. watching as their paws had batted and tangles with vibrant knitting. one day, she held her precious heirs, and then the other, they were gone. breaths knocked from their lungs, and a heart barely staying to a tune.


    ferfaen never had much to weep about, living a blessed life in marble statures, but that night she had weeped. a horrid cry that tore her throat and weakened her once beloved voice. tears, like a raging river cascading down her cheeks as she had pleaded for them to come back. for the stars to give her what she had worked so hard for, what she wanted more than anything. and yet, they claimed her kits and she was left with nothing but a strand of white fur. one that hadn't belonged to her, but her only girl in the litter. like delicate petals, blown by the wind and away from her did they roam.


    perhaps that is what drove her away, a fleeting hare among the wild blooms and grasses as the duchess had ran from her fears. had she not been ever so kind and well? with love built into her very being? how was she supposed to accept this aching left, a heart torn in four? she had seen the worry in her owner's eyes, phones ringing and desperate pleas coming across the line. her fur, collecting dust and dirt. her ribs, building a cage around herself with each food bowl pushed away in an ear-splitting screech. perhaps she had died along with her children, a ghost inhabiting her former self. with no feeling for self-care. the more time she had spent in her mind, the more the reality had seeped in.


    too tired to care where she had truly fell, her sprints simmered into a trot, with eyes dancing to and fro. a place unbeknownst to the reserved indoor dweller, but one that had boomed in beauty. the wilderness being her company for the evening.scents so overwhelming that she had forgotten the smell of other felidaes completely, entranced. yet, lips taut, and eyes searching for a familiar tuft of fur that would never be. as if she would find them in the lost world that was only so far.


    // feel free to stumble upon her!! i didn't know how to introduce her really but this is the best i have for right now ;;;

    "TEARS FALLING DOWN AT THE PARTY" -- GENERAL

    -- ferfaen / fae, faen / "to drive away a stone"

    -- cis female / [she/her] / biromantic heterosexual

    -- 22 moons / 30 moons / ages at discretion

    -- skyclan, daylight warrior / still clinging to kittypet ways / big mom energy


    "SADDEST LITTLE BABY IN THE ROOM" -- PHYSICAL

    [ BIRTH ] -- DOMESTIC FELINE -- HEALTH 76%

    -- ferfaen once held a show-cat appearance, her fur a constant gleam with no stray hairs in sight. lean, agile, and perfect. now, fallen from grace, as her form has grown more malnourished with her sudden lack of appetite. a once light and joyous dance in her mismatched eyes had now dulled and remain quiet and solemn. her pelt, now wild and dirty, was once a beautiful concoction of the sun's early rays. lights yellows mixing with pale oranges to ones burning bright with passion. the flame-pointed feline has fur of silk, gentle to the touch and addicting to feel. now, there's an obvious grime in her once dazzling hide that deters any roving hands.

    -- accessories; a light cream collar with a single pearl in the middle


    "FEARS, TELL ME FEARS, DON'T GET ME STARTED" -- PERSONALITY

    -- intelligent, sympathetic, kind, generous, selfless, compassionate, confident, disciplined, affectionate

    -- curious, adventurous, challenging, playful, emotional, obedient, protective, surprising, family oriented

    -- selfless to the point of self-destruction, self-sacrificing, cowardly, delicate, extravagant

    -- important traits; motherly, worrywart, gentle


    "I GET A GRAY HAIR FOR EVERY SCARE YOU SHARE" -- RELATIONSHIPS & INTERACTION

    -- gen, 1 npc × npc / npc siblings

    -- parent to npc, npc, npc, npc

    -- no crushes / unaccompanied

    -- trusts skyclan / friends with name, name, name / enemies? / etc?

    -- may challenge / might provoke / defensive when it comes to children

    -- will flee from a fight / pacifist / prefers to settle things verbally

    -- permission for powerplay of nonviolent actions granted /


    "NO THOSE AREN'T MEANT TO BEND" -- MISCELLANEOUS

    -- vc is duchess from the aristocats

    -- glamorous single mother / expy / horrible judge of character

    -- future plots: litter & romance & becoming a full skyclan warrior


    there, upon the willowed shadows had remained a boy. the world a haze that had moved and danced with each shadow and voice. friends, had came the voice as tall as mountains and as creaking as old boards upon a dusted ship. he could never see lotus, he hadn't even known what the molly had appeared as. only that she had stood upon the sacred stairs, in the eye of each godly spirit. artisan had passed, to jjoin in the lands foretold. where his tribe could not follow, but only wish to see.


    there would be hesitance in her paws, as there had been hesitance in artisan's. in all the seers before her. it was time for her to join them, to tie with the spirit that holds her more gently than the others. tonight, poet had already known, that it would fall into a silence. tonight, the whispering grove would be shadowed. although, the lemon-balmed felidae had cheered in his silence for this. more time to think, to focus, to breathe.


    his own paws were hesitant, hovering upon a field of grasses to make sure that no other body had stood between him and his destined spot. careful pawsteps as he had fell between the shadows, eyes blank as he tilts his head towards the new seer, to listen and heed her words.


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    "deer." he saw the child before his own kin, but had found hera bathing in sunlight soon after. sundisk preferred to be alone, he had enough voices in his head to deal with anymore. but loneliness was a killer. sun found himself sinking into loneliness often, being so quiet and distant from every soul. he had lived on his own for so long he forgot how to live with others.


    "hera, nice to see you." clove and prim weren't around anymore. the sisters disappeared as did part of his heart. clove was similar to a mother to him, despite sharing the title of 'aunt'. he originally came out to smoke, somehow missing the nagging clove had gave him with every puff of smoke he dragged out. but he didn't want to smoke with the kid here, deer's lungs shouldn't be exposed to his addiction. "mind if i join you?" if he couldn't relax with nicotine in his blood, then perhaps he can relax with sun rays on his back.


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    spring festival? sun never thought much of celebrating seasons, he simply lived quietly in the changing rays. watching the leaves fall and the snow cover the ground he used to roam. as buds would soon take bloom and the days were growing warmer, sun appeared more. his ghostly figure haunting the clan that had been home to his people for so long. the lion's eyes had watched as daniel called, proclaiming his need for help in decorating. sun was minimalist at best, he wasn't too sure of how useful he'd be in decorating.


    the arcanium would follow the voice, eyeing ver as she had eagerly awaited for a task of her own. he wished to replicate her excitement, but it would only result in a strange toothy grin. uneven and forced at best, showing no signs of actual joy. no, he'd keep his neutral expression for now. "i'll help, just give me a job to do." hoarse and gravelly, he kept his words simple and calm. perhaps he'd be tasked to help ver out, or even given something different.


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