Posts by PRISMATICGAZE .

Ever since she had stolen that paper and watched as he attempted to kill himself with several pills, bottled up emotions stirred everytime she thought about him. The white feline would sit, staring down at her paws and glare daggers into them as her body seemed to burn up from the growing embarrassment. It wasn't just worry for the the ex ghost that made her like this.

She actually had feelings for him.

Of course, these emotions had already been set much before these events had taken part, only to be dug up again at the worst possible time. Beck liked Ska'arq though, which caused a slight pang in her heart even though she knew that there was never a chance for it and seemingly no way of even mentioning these feelings without pushing him further away from herself. " He's different from those other crushes though, I don't act...clingy or anything. If anything, I just want to see him smile normally and...be there for him. He frustrates me, calls me a bitch and possessed me for Gods sake! So, why can't I...get him out of my head? " Tiny claws dug into the ground below and felt her face flush with embarrassment as the thought of his stupid, snarky face invaded at every subject and it was getting annoying.

She wanted to stuff it back into a bottle and have it be thrown into a bottomless pit for eternity and yet, she wanted to see him and check on him since she had avoided Beck since their feud and the attempted suicide.

Her sapphire glinted from the occasional rays that would dance across her eye and making blue light streak across the ground or a tree she would pass. A satchel was thrown across her shoulders and contained a lunch for her fellow feline and herself to eat. Sandwiches, various juice boxes ( She wanted to have a lot in case he was picky on certain flavors) and even two slices of strawberry shortcake she had made yesterday just for this occasion. Was it a bit much just for an apology talk and a chance to bond unless he severely disliked her now. Pris would heave a stressed sigh upon the arrival of his den, setting down the basket and fiddling with handle, causing it to moved forward and back as she awaited his arrival. If all ended well, she would invite him to sit outside and eat their lunch...hopefully. Anxious feelings packed within her as she sat there, fluffy tail flicking like made as she sat with a frown displayed unknowingly upon her maw.

Kid. Gods, she didn't really like the way he said that for some odd reason and felt her nose scrunch up slightly at the brief glare the male had given her and proceeded to put on a more grown up air as she eyed the canine. " One of my friends thinks your cute, she wants me to get in a good word, but I'm questioning her choice now. " Well, that came rather rude and bitchy. Yet, her expression was worried for her friend more than anything and somewhat curious of Floridaseas. A slend paw reached up to adjust her eyepatch, a rather common fidget of her ow when around males or anyone slightly attractive and intimidating. " But hey, if you're not into girls, anyone, or just her in general that's perfectly fine and I will quickly get of your fur in due time. I just don't want a friend to end up being hurt if you're some sort of player or something! " A slight chuckled passed her lips and a smile danced upon her maw when she thought to herself of him him being gay and realizing not a lot of people were completely straight here in Blizzardclan. How strange it is.

Cigarettes weren't exactly the most pleasant thing in the world, yet it seemed to take off this unknown stress and exhale along with wafts of smoke that would curl around her muzzle. Hell, even getting used to them took her a few tries before getting somewhat of a hang of it and occasionally puff on the death sticks far away, at the edge of Blizzardclan's borders and hide with it resting on her bottom lip, occasionally chewing slightly on the filter. A small, clear lighter filled with fluid flicked on and off with a few swirls of the spark wheel ontop, a small flame flickering above and catching Pris attention before she would let go, even scolding herself with the strange fascination she had grown for the whole smoking process once she had begun it. But, why did she end up doing it? Peer pressure? To look cool? The small feline wasn't too sure herself besides the load it was lift from her shoulders with each drag on it. A stogie in her paw, someone who had constantly referred to as his little girl was growing up fast and the world was only hitting back harder until she found herself where she was now. " At least it's not weed. Then, I would definitely be dead because of dad or someone else. I...I hope nobody cares... " Her voice was barely above a mumble as she took the cig from her mouth and stared blankly down at it with her eye patch and remaining gem, a frown taking over her neutral expression as she threw the rolled tobacco into the snow ahead of her with a frustrated expression. " What the hell am I doing?! I shouldn't be smoking, hiding it from people because of what they'll think of me! Who the fuck am I?? " She hissed at it, watch the remaining clouds of smoke dance through the air until nothing. Pris would look at the lighter in her other paw and raise it when preparing to throw it as far as she could possibly attempt, but she couldn't do it.

God, what if her old man found out about this? It would probably surprise him, seeing his small child growing up and suddenly see her eventually chain smoking like an addict or even getting cancer from the damn stuff? What if Beck...

Thoughts were quickly shaken away, her body practically dragging itself back down coast in the direction of the stairs with the smell of smoke lingering around her frail form.

Once again, Pris arrived somewhat late and sat next to her father in an attempt to even make a simple track post, listening carefully to Sweet as she did.

If it hadn't been Huff, the sweet kid who was only a few months younger than herself, Pris would have stormed off with even more of a bad attitude to match it and wouldn't even look at him like she did now. A nervous smile etched her features at the comment and she moved closer with her paw in a shushing gesture. " Look, Huffy. Don't tell anyone I smell like Jerseyboy or I'll get in big trouble. Seriously, this'll be our secret. Just don't--" Her white, soft ears seemed to twist and turn like sonars until Pris turned to see an all too familiar tom who she had just passed not minutes before and watch him with her breath unknowingly held in for what felt like forever. "How long you been doin' this?"

Two months, perhaps? It began with her father's own disappearance and the arrival of some NPC trading and selling stuff, which had mostly been drugs besides a few packs of cigarettes the seller had, Pris quickly trading them for shards of her ruby eye that had been shattered months ago. She didn't do it a lot, merely messing around with them at first, as well as being scared to use them in the first place. But, one by one, they had begun to work into her system and mumbles words of desperation for more, more and more until she would give into it and find places to hide and stand around until she had finished one or two cigarettes. Then, Ethan's death had caused the smoking to become even more frequent with even more stuff starting to push her over the edge and find herself with them in her paw without even remembering when it happened.

And the fact Jersey was there didn't help that guilt in the slightest. " Two months. Maybe, it's a little fuzzy to think about. Please, don't tell my dad or Beck. " The young apprentice looked up to the tuxedo cat, her gem seemingly look up to his own as she felt her heart pound like crazy. Hell, she hadn't even realized she specified Beck and her father as the people she wished not to let know of this problem of hers. What would they think? What would they say?

They day had started out rather frustrating, finding Beck was not as easy as it had been before and she wanted to have been quick so she could attempt to get food in that boy again with less of a struggle since she was going to be assertive and drag him out to find a warm, sunny spot somewhere in Blizzardclan and enjoy some food she had made for the two of them to munch on as they relaxed or whatever the hell the asshole she considered a friend at the very least. Hell, she even dolled herself up a little for this get together by wearing a soft pink ribbon around her neck and even ditched her eyepatch for the first time since he had possessed her, which caused a lot more panic than she would ever admit to anyone. So there she was, padding around camp with an empty, blind eye socket and a gem carefully searching around with a polite smile and her pelt smelling faintly of lavender instead of the "icky" smell of tobacco on her.

The sun hung low into the west with several shades of pink, orange and other painting the sky before the night fully enveloped the land around them until morning came about, the moon clearly visible in the sky and colder temperatures starting to hang in the air until she had eventually found him. The white feline coaxing him to come down to the old territory as they ate together and hopefully chat at least a bit, try to make him feel special and...wanted. Pris wanted that more than anything, get across that she cared for him despite all that has gone wrong in his life and perhaps push away some of that self doubt.

Occasionally, Pris' ears would flick at the sound of what she had thought was rustling and the crunch of snow from more than one thing out of her line of sight. So, she had made a fire as best as she could and hoped it would keep whatever it was away, even beginning to speak up a tad bit. Though her fur only seemed to stand more on edge as the noise continued and caused her to move unintentionally closer to Beck the more time went on. " I-I think it's time we headed back home. It's getting dark and cold, plus I don't want to bother you too much. But, um, will you escort me back up to the islands because it's getting late? Y-You don't have to, I-I'm scA-- " Her voices rose as she saw a group of about four boars pushing past bushes and standing a few feet from them, chest heaving and her breath dancing through the air made somewhat noticeable from the fire that flickered besides them. The boars snorted and shifted with clear agitation of their mere presence, strang horn-like things jutting from some their mouths and their hooves stomping at the ground as they looked in their general direction. Then, they moved closer with louder snorts and grunts as they tried to block off an exit route in their direction with one getting fairly close and eventually running at them , tusks to ram into them. Beck seemed to have jumped into the opposite direction, clear from any possible boat attacks with Pris only getting herself deeper into the mix as another boat charged at her. The boar's tusk scraping her side and barely cutting it, though she managed to get away with only her mind rattled as her one functional eye looking around worriedly.

" Beck! I don't know what to do! I-I need help, I'm scared! " She would cry out to the feline, her body shaking and low to the ground with fear. Gods, what was she going to do now? What would Beck do?

Once again, a small eyepatch had been tossed aside nearly half an hour before the current events that occurred at this very moment. Pris would stare at the mirror in her den with a hesitant smile at what stood before her. A girl, lovesick for a boy who's heart had firmly set on another well before she had come into the narrative they had already built together and yet, there she was. Scared of admitting what was already there and desperately clinging to how she felt in that situation instead of what he felt. There was still a missing piece that she thought that prince could fill, to make her feel whole and happy like how she was before. I mean, there had to be a reason she felt so much differently about him than her other crushes in the past, correct? There...there had to be something there.

A sigh fogged up the mirror before her and she watched as her imaginary eyebrows knit together when she adjusted a blue ribbon around her neck and gaze down to a bouquet at her side filled with lovely, freshly picked Iris that we're the same purple as Ska'arq was, which had been the deciding factor on what to give the injured dragon in hopes to show keep kindness and not let her envy takes hold of what could be a lovely friendship between the two of them. As much as it was tempting to give into those selfish feelings and only hurt him further, Pris held her head high and practiced talking without being so insecure about the gaping hole within her head before even thinking about heading to the medicine den.

The snow white feline found herself stalling as her paws moved slowly towards her destination and her head stared worriedly down at the ground below with ears flicking often, completely oblivious to the fact she had been holding her breath until she realized her other nervous tics on the way. What was she so afraid of? That she would tell him about those feelings? That Ska'arq would hate her and try to convince Beck to feel the same? Oh, how irrational it was and still, it continued to echo in her mind until she heard two familiar voices ahead of her. Pris seemed to go mute in those moments as she stared at the scene before her, watching as Beck would lean in to kiss the purple dragon and cause her own heart to sink down once again at the contact they made, what she yearned to feel again.

He's not my prince, is he?

A genuine smile graced her features as she slowly etched forward at the end of the moment and chuckled a bit, happy that the idiot, soon-to-be-again ghost finally admitted his own feelings to his prince, the one he was meant to be with. And now, she was back to what she was before. The girl that was only meant to smile for others to feel that warmth instead of herself. " About time. It was getting a bit boring there for a minute, so I'm glad you two are actually smacking on each other! " Pris would laugh, hiding a shaky breath as she did and gently placing down the bouquet as she smirked at the two lovers.