Posts by Kyomi A.H.

Confused dad track

no pain, no gain.

the day started out as one would assume, which was oddly boring and uneventful for the serval. he was accustomed to waking up on the right side of the bed, rather then the wrong side, as he left that up to people such as toughpaw. but he wasn't exactly happy with the other, was he? in fact, he wasn't happy in general, but that had never stopped the being from faking it until he made it. he was growing use to clinging to conversations he didn't belong in, lurking in on groups, but not really participating. he had lost his flare at one point, and the airhead like personality faded, revealing a shell. he wasn't sure what was wrong with him, but the dreams of blood and nasty little monsters running around were getting to him, even if he never remembered his dreams when he awoke. the sense of wrongness was just so strong, one could theorize, but perhaps it was something more. the snapping of a twig would jolt him out of his thoughts, cranium turning in the direction of the sound. opening his maw slightly, he would inhale the new scent, confused. it wasn't a familiar scent that greeted him, and puzzled, he'd take a step forward. whoever they were stood too close to the border, and he wasn't going to bother forward, mostly because of the fear he'd prick one of his paws on the sharp rocks and he'd be left complaining about the pain for a week. he'd part his mouth, intending to call out a welcome, and beckon whoever they were forward, when the mysterious figure appeared.

except, there were two of them, not one. he couldn't remark on the fact that they were practically trespassing, because the entire situation felt wrong. the slumbering snake that usually rested loosely around his neck had the grace of mind to open a crimson ocular, perhaps feeling the same that his host did. whatever the unknown emotion was didn't fade, although it was a curious sight to be met by a body blocking fox. whoever stood beside her, he couldn't immediately see, and he didn't have time to entirely question it, either. hello sonny, is this the renegades? she had an odd way of talking, using one side of her mouth to speak, while the other constantly chewed, although he couldn't imagine on what. he'd stare at that spot for a moment, not that she could tell because of his blindfold. yes? the happy vibe he carried around was lost to his general confusion, and vague sense of dangerous. but that was really weird- the fox had some gray hairs, so he could only assume she was old, or getting there. maybe she was someone's grandmother? he'd casually lick his lips nervously, and build up the courage to continue. eh, i'm lavenderwish, and it's very nice to meet you! what business do you and your friend have here?

he didn't entirely miss the way she sized him up, or how her eyes darted constantly to z, as if he was eye candy. if looks could be greedy, than hers would be the definition of such. he had always pictured a grandmother as an old, sweet lady, but he was just getting the vague idea that she was some pervert or something. he'd take a half step back, suddenly wanting distance between him and her, having already forgotten that they weren't entirely alone. he's taller than the lady, and as she begins to talk, he's leaning slightly in, attempting to peek. he assumes its a child, or perhaps a really small creature, but he can't get a good look of the other, but he's sure he's just seen protruding ribs. now that he gives it thought, the kid (he assumes such) smells sickly, and crude, as if they've hadn't had a chance to properly wash in awhile. great! you see, i stumbled on this good for nothing kid awhile back, and he's so bothersome, never getting anything right or listening to what i tell him to do. he tries to listen like a good boy, but he can't get the imagine of torn fur outta his head, or, judging by the shreds of hair still in the fox's teeth, ripped flesh. he's trying to suppress his anger, as he knows the world isn't good, and this is simply a hard truth- shit like this happens way too often. - and he's just so lucky i happened to stumble upon 'im, considerin' his family was ripped to shreds and all that... the backstory is filtered into his mind for later, but he seriously isn't paying attention, wanting a glimpse of the mystery pup. he's too curious for his own good, and soon, he'll be stuck with something he can't take back.

fox breath fans across his face, as she's leaned in too much. i've forgotten ma manners, i'm maggie- it's always nice to exchange formalities when doing business. then why did it take you this long to do as such? and business? he opens his mouth to speak his mind, wanting to question her thoroughly, but she's on a rant, and he's nothing compared to that. here, take a look for yer self. the canine is rough, and gentleness is something she apparently knows nothing about. she shoves the small one forward, as if they're a trophy on display, or a spoil from war. sunken in cheeks, protruding ribs, and that leg looks funny. if he would have paid attention earlier, maybe he even would have heard the faint sound of dragging, as one might do when their leg is broken. the serpent fiend as crawled closer, peeking at the youth from behind lav's head. there's no communication between the two, but he can sense the demon's feeling of wrath, and how quick it comes. he's useless, so much that i can't even remember his name! she laughs then, a pathetic wheezing sound squeezed through blackened lungs. a drug addict maybe, addicted to the thrill of death, although perhaps she also enjoys the feeling of pain she can bring others, as well. i'm sure you can find some uses for him, but i really must get rid of him soon. how much would you take for this piece of shit? he isn't entirely sure what happens next, or what he exactly says.

he remembers vaguely leaning down to properly examine the little wolf cub, whispering something along the lines of 'close your eyes' in a voice that's soft, but too much so, for his usual happy and loud self. there's a small distance between the kid and the fox, and he's suddenly there, with his teeth around her throat, squeezing, and tearing, and clamping down so violently he can practically hear his teeth rattle in protest. he's quick, when he really shouldn't be. he had faked her out when he had went to pretend to examine the cub, but that isn't entirely it. she's slow compared to those he's fought before, mostly against his will. she's also old, strong enough to torment a child, but nothing more. he's been known for doing stupid shit like this, another reason why he wasn't deemed fit to really rule his race, either. he acted with his heart, and not his head. he'd fling her body back and forth for a moment, probably accidentally spraying blood. it doesn't matter, because he's already coated in it. this, if anything, just shows how fragile the body is. there's no last words for her, and for that, he's sorry. he wished he could make her suffer, but it would have been messier than this, and he doesn't have the time. instead, he's stuck, with picking up the pieces of her mess. on instinct, he licks his mouth, tasting her blood. the silence is deafening.

when he finally comes to, so to speak, and realize what he's done, there's nothing really to say about the situation. i guess you're stuck with me. he didn't act out of love, but more so out of guilt. he couldn't just leave the little guy out here on his own, and proclaim him 'free'. lav doubted he could survive on his own, or if he could even walk with that nasty lookin' leg of his. you're family, now. he'd offer a small shrug, and a little bright smile that he didn't feel. he almost apologized for the violent act, but he wasn't sorry, at all. he worried, though, that he'd begin to lash out more like this, and that would be bad, for him. what's your name? although he addressed the child, his gaze was locked onto the bleeding body. i guess it wasn't nice to meet you, after all.

Goldenpup

that night had been fueled by unknown desire, and a literal lack of sight. he didn't exactly remember what he had been thinking or doing, only that he had mistaken someone else for toughpaw, and that was really bad, considering the hyena was pink. the morning after had been internally awkward for him, but he had shoved it all down, and had presented minho with his usual happy, wide-eyed front, although perhaps he wasn't as innocent anymore. the thought of the leader being able to get pregnant hadn't really been a thought to him, either, so he was in for a shock.

he liked children, but commitment scared the shit out of him. plus, he really didn't get attraction, or love, or any of those feelings. he had labeled them all as 'mortal emotions' but that wasn't it. his father had loved his mother, and she him, so he knew it wasn't true. he was just... scared, of the change, of everything, even if he never acted like it. he had been told constantly to put up a brave face as a child, and now, although self confident, he was sure to waver in moments of uncertainty. this would be one of them.

hello! he was restless, and often wandered the borders, so this was no real surprise. in his haste to get here, the blindfold had slipped down to it's seemingly favorite place, his neck. he'd blink slowly at minho, as before, he hadn't really had time to inspect the other. he was certainly handsome, for a cheetah. do you need me? or perry, maybe?

growing up, his only friends had been his siblings, and the disapproving silence he was met with when his parents weren't around. it explained why he talked so much nowadays, when he was older, and perhaps why he was so clingy. he didn't like to be pushed away, but he didn't mind it, when he could rally mindless determination behind his reasoning to befriend everyone. he wasn't as simple minded as he wanted to be, nor was he as stupid as others perhaps saw him as. he wore a facade that, although not entirely fake, wasn't entirely right, either. he had horrible butter fingers, but out of instinct, he'd raise his long limbs up, and shield his face. as the can hit, and fell, he couldn't help but have a one second flashback of how the other kids use to throw rocks at him, because he wasn't normal. he'd blink slowly, hurt and confusion clouding his oculars, and showing in his conserved body language. he knew the other was violent, at times, and a hothead... but usually never at him, right? what are you talking about? the hyena would be greeted with wide eyes, and a small, frustrated whine. he didn't understand it either, and how was he to? where he came from, it was so unheard of to be blunt, which probably explained why he was isolated further. i don't know- i don't know! was his cry, and uselessly, he'd jab a paw in a random direction, as he began listing off his condition. you make me feel good! and then you do stupid things, like making me feel small because i'm- me? i don't know! it's like i feel i'm not good enough for you, and i just don't, like, get it. at all.

I would love a thread between lav and papa cy :] i can't think of anything in particular rn tho and his tags are above if ya wanna take a peek!!

family was the most important thing in the world to him, but this didn't just mean biological. family was what one created, and this could mean through blood or not. he saw the renegades as a family, abet an extremely dysfunctional and chaotic one, but he loved, especially, those kind of families. they didn't all have to love each other, of course, just get along with each other enough to respect the one beside them, or even across them. respect, he knew, was a weird thing, and most didn't give it out as easily as he did. it was weird, to understand the word of something, but not the concept. for him, love was like that, but this was neither here nor there.

his ears would twitch slightly as lumi's voice rang, and grumpily, he'd sigh to himself. he debated about merely dragging himself over, but even that was alotta work. when he did arrive, he'd stop, and wonder if he had drunk or ate something that was spiked. maybe he wasn't tripping, though. hey, lumi! you're growing! like- like, everywhere! maybe she'd grow into a big flower! but then he'd probably have to water her everyday, right? that'd be a little weird. absentmindedly, he touch one of the flowers, looking at it with big, round eyes.

he couldn't imagine being asleep for awhile, as just an hour seemed like a bore to him. of course, there were always those moments that his body simply collapsed on its own, but that was beside the point. the serval would lean in the back, focusing on nothing in particular, if he was being honest. he was half listening, and just half not, blind oculars latched onto nothing important as he fidgeted with his blindfold. it had fallen to around his neck and he was moving it up and down. realizing that someone before his time was coming back made him slightly sad, as he wished koday would do the same. he missed the male, and he was sure lumi did too. blinking back to reality, he'd slide further forward, stopping beside sundance. we're the renegades now, dunno if you know that, or not. he'd toss a bright smile in the male's direction, slightly vibrating in place. he was an impatient fella, although not out of rudeness. i'm lavenderwish! or just lav.

it was like he closed his eyes, and bam, more people! later, he'd feel ashamed over his actions, and immediately regretful. this could have been someone's grandmother! or maybe she had been lying about his parents, and they were somewhere out there, waiting for the pup. these thoughts didn't enter his mind, mostly because he was concentrating on keeping himself in the present. it would do no good to have an episode here, in front of the little one. he already looks scared, and his guilt thickens in the chaos. he makes himself smaller, by putting his stomach close to the ground. he's eye level with the pup now, and gazing intently through the blindfold, although normal blind oculars wouldn't be able to do as such. he offers a gentle smile, but perhaps it isn't enough to show his nonviolent intent. maybe one day you'll tell me your birth name... until then, i'll just call ya goldenpup. it's nice to meet you! don't worry about anyone here, they won't hurt ya.

the sound of someone approaching, and vaguely, he'll tilt his head at sundance. he debates on lying, but that's pointless. she's a trafficker, and now she's dead. he gives a little shrug, and perhaps his morals come into question then. he isn't the best at hiding his true nature, when he has to. he's blunt with things like this, and the distaste is clear in his tone for a second. people like her didn't deserve to live anyway.

he doesn't understand toughpaw, or his loudness. he blinks slowly at the other, and his nose wrinkles, almost in confusion. lazily, he rubs the back of his cranium, realizing he's probably just spreading the blood, to back there now. i killed her! was that a bad thing to do? his tone is the same as usual, bright and cheerful, abet confused. in hell, the rules aren't the same thing, and vaguely, his head starts to throb. his memory is bad from back then, but he has the feeling that he wasn't the nicest person in the world back then. something about being forced to do some things- oh well! she wasn't a nice lady! she tried to sell someone to me- that's bad, right? this is her blood, don't worry. completely, and utterly, oblivious. that's what he was.

he paid little attention to cy, but he'd shrug when needed. but he did address him in particular with his next words, along with eden, and everyone else. don't crowd him. and goldenpup, if you want, i'm sure sundance or tuffy could look at your leg.

he had tried to coax the little pup, but he had quickly given up. he had also tried to insist they share the same bed, but then he had realized how weird that might have sounded, and that perhaps the little one really did prefer the ground. or maybe he was just really stupid, and had no clue on how to deal with children. he usually was good with then, but only because of his attitude, which was childish and as imaginative as there's. he suddenly wished his own mother was around, just so she could scold him, and tell him what to do. at any rate, he kept the pup fed with actual food (meat and everything else, not the junkfood he constantly ate), and water, and offered him blankets and as many pillows as he wanted. with the food he brought, he mostly caught it himself, and held his breath most of the way, not accustomed to the scent of so much protein.

he'd curiously, and very slowly, open the door to the cell, idly blinking down at the pup with blind oculars. if you want to explore, i can carry you. no point in putting weight on that leg, he'd immediately offer.

this was the guy that had said no to his juicebox, and he wasn't petty enough to hold stupid grudges, but he just might be. idly, he'd pop over, lazily giving the group a half smile. he wasn't getting enough sleep, but this was no surprise, although he tried to keep his sleeping to a minimal at any rate, especially since he didn't wanna have a nightmare, and then wake up goldenpup. talk about awkward, right? hello! welcome back to the living!

sometimes, he related with the hyena on levels he didn't quite understand himself. sometimes, also, his life was a mysterious blur, wrapped up in lies. he could remember his parents vividly, but he couldn't remember everything, or even the punishments that he had been given, simply from being the eldest. he could remember always having to put a face on, and acting like he wasn't himself, like he was some demon who demanded respect and all that boring jazz. he hated being boxed in as an adult, and he thrived in situations where he could be social, and give someone his love. yet, maybe... he shouldn't be as such, as if he didn't have the right to give so much away, and want so little. superior thinking was beyond the lav persona, but sometimes, he wondered who just exactly he was, and if he banged his head against a wall just right, maybe he'd be someone he'd like.

he'd blink slowly, and resist the urge to simply cave on himself. his paws would twitch, and one would raise to cover one of his ears. he had been put into this situation one too many times, him always getting yelled out and stuff. he'd rest his cranium in his paws, and sigh softly, oculars closing as he simply took it all in. he wasn't crying per say, but his heart was breaking over everything, and he just hated this. he hated the unknown, and the not knowing. he hated the suspecting what he felt thing, but not being able to act on it, thing. he didn't understand how people worked, emotionally, even if he faked it. even if, he was suppose to.

i'll stop glaring... i just- i'm so confused, and i don't like the not knowing part, of how you feel. he'd sniffle, and raise his cranium, idly blinking. i'm- i'm not short! denial was his best strategy, his only plan in life. just kidding, but he wasn't short, toughpaw was just massively big. a freaking giant. maybe... we should... really not get it together. instead of being apart? honestly, he didn't get it. not the conversation, not any of it. he wasn't good at hiding things, or reading in between the line. he wasn't good at emotions, or being casual with things. he was the loud type, the obnoxious type. but he was also loving, and he'd fight tooth and nail for this, if he had to. i like you. there, out in the open.

he had been asked to do the meeting, and therefore he would, although there wasn't a lot to talk about. things had been slow as of late, and he certainly wasn't blameless. GATHER FOR A MEETING! his call wasn't graceful nor did it beckon or seduce like others could do with their voice. it was loud, explosive, and a very lav like thing to do. perry would regret letting him talk, because he liked to scream and talk. he was more excited then nervous about the whole thing, as anyone could see. first of all, it's been a very slow week, guys, but i'm sure we can bounce back soon enough! i'd like to welcome eden, cyrus, dimitri, freakshow, bloodstainedmemories, and finally, goldenpup, to our merry band of cultists, although we're no such thing. i hope your stay is full of good vibes and whatnot! if you have any questions, i'm sure i'd be able to help you, or perry, or even a fellow clanmate. he paused to get a breath of air, scanning the crowd in a lazy way. one would think he was actually thinking about something, but he really wasn't. the two things on this week's agenda is open raiding and event planning! as stated in the last big meeting, the black heart rogues and especially, especially, shadow veil is up for grabs when it comes to raiding, capturing, whatever you're in to (within reason). don't be afraid to start up conflict, as they're enemies for a reason. next, event planning. we're honestly lacking in events and we can always change that, by coming together and brain storming. you can suggest group wide events, ally events, or even dramatic and long term ideas, as they're always fun. the event rally thread is located here. another pause rolled by, and that was it. meeting dismissed, unless perry has anything to add.