Posts by Jacob Wickliff

Jacob had been out for another walk. It was his third that day and he was starting to get annoyed by how troublesome his leg had been recently. He was willing to bet it had something to do with moving to such a warm climate and the fact the sand was constantly shifting under his paws. Whatever the case, he hoped he could find something to stretch out his legs soon. The idea of one becoming entirely unresponsive was terrifying to the boy, especially after he'd been required to remain in a wheelchair for several months at one point, and he was going to do whatever was necessary to prevent it.

Usually, walks in the Sanguine Ruins were relatively boring. It wasn't that he didn't like the sand but it didn't make for a particularly interesting environment to walk around in. However, today something was different. There was a cloud of bright pink on the horizon and he found himself drawn towards it, even if he was a bit nervous it would stain his fur. What would cause such a cloud? He didn't think it was anything dangerous. He'd never heard of enemies just spraying pink dust everywhere with their arrival. Still, he seemed a bit hesitant to dive right into the cloud until he saw a stranger emerging from it. He assumed this was a new member of the Ruins, given he was almost certain he hadn't met them before. Well, he actually wasn't quite sure what he was looking at under all that pink dust. "Uh, hi! Do ya' need some help?" the boy called.

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Jacob smiled towards the next three participants, nodding to them each as they arrived. He nodded to Lucien, writing down his own note to keep for the Ruiner. He seemed to perk up even more when Barbara specifically stated that it'd be fun, though, given her history with Jersey, he had a feeling she had very different ideas about this event than everyone else. Still, he'd try to find someone to pair her with. Did he even want to do that? It seemed like it could end up sort of weird especially since... well, he didn't want to think about that. So, instead of saying anything, he took the leader's not and glanced on it, his eyes widening a bit when he saw what she selected as her preference. How was he even supposed to objectively identify that? Facial symmetry? He supposed he'd have to figure it out.

He then glanced up as Diego held a note within his reach but, as he reached for it, paused to hear what the avian had to say. Liquor? He didn't even know where to get liquor. He could definitely arrange games, at least. "Um, well, I'll definitely try my best! I'll try ta' include things ya' might like," he assured the other. That was the most he could do, after all. Maybe he could visit Blizzardclan and ask Jersey where to get liquor. Or maybe he'd have to ask Barbara.

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"Tha's okay! I was jus' kinda' bored so I decided ta' make a few different things. I gave out a few of 'em 'ere but, well, we're in a desert so I thought ya' might 'ave more of ah' use for 'em," he stated. "I don' think anyone 'ere really needs 'em. I had someone suggest tryin' ta' use knittin' ta' make traps but I dunno how that'd work out." He tried to suppress a smile when he heard Agnes, glancing at his paws and then back up at Jersey. After a moment he added under his breath, "Non ha torto, Jersey." He then paused and then clearly smiled even more when he heard Jiji's question. "Basandomi su ciò che ho sentito, sei un po 'più che amici. Sai quanto è stato imbarazzante? Ho cercato di evitarla da quando sono qui," he stated, glancing at Barbara for a moment before adding, "A questo ritmo, sono sorpreso che tu non abbia avuto figli."

Translations:

"She's not wrong, Jersey."

"Based on what I heard, you're a little more than friends. Do you know how awkward it's been? I've tried to avoid her since I got here."

"At this rate, I'm surprised you haven't had any kids."

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Honestly, Jacob couldn't quite remember if he'd met Damien before or not. He felt a small amount of guilt for that but he approached with a light smile and settled down. He'd been walking around for awhile anyway, it was probably time to give his leg a break. "Well, 's good ta' see ya' back. I dunno' if we met before, if I'm bein' honest, but my name's Jacob. 'S nice ta' meet ya' n' I'll play charades with ya'," the boy stated happily. Besides, it'd be nice to have a game to get his mind off those smoke that seemed more prevalent than usual today. He could always smell it but lately he'd had a harder time warding it off than usual. He often found that if he could distract his mind, it would at least fade for a little while.

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Oh! He was here! Jacob shot up from his spot and rushed to the door, opening it up with a wide smile. "Hi! Come in! I got some spaghetti n' bread in here..." he stated, walking in and gesturing for Thezroth to follow him. "Do ya' like pesto? I made some bread with pesto in it if you want but I wasn' sure if ya' would like that so I also made garlic bread but if ya' don' like any ah' this, then I can always jus' make somethin' else," he said, walking into the dining area and settling down on one end of the table. "Oh!" he suddenly shot up once again, "Do ya' want somethin' ta' drink? I have water n' some orange juice that I made myself. I dunno' how orange juice will taste with this, though," he offered. How had he almost forgot to offer a drink? He would never be accused of being a bad host.

Jacob knew why he was so enthusiastic around Thezroth. The younger boy reminded him of Jersey and of his father and of all the other troubled masculine figures that had ever entered Jacob's life. Except this time it was different because Thezroth was close to the same age as him so maybe he could help him even more. Also, Jacob decided at an early age his purpose in life was to help other people. This had led to a lot of self-esteem problems because his entire self worth revolved around other people's emotions but he was working it out. No matter what the reason, today was important to him and he intended to make this as nice for Thezroth as possible. He didn't want there to be any question about their friendship. So far, Thez had been a bit standoffish but he was sure that'd end today.

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"Yeah, I thought maybe it'd be a li'l much for jus' the two ah' us but I figured I could always give some out or jus' keep some leftovers if I still got some left later," he answered with a light shrug. "'N it ain't a big deal. I really like cookin'. It gives me somethin' ta' do. I like makin' new recipes n' changin' the ones I've got. Maybe I could teach ya' sometimes, if ya' would be interested in somethin' like that. I really like bakin' too but I remembered ya' said ya' weren't fond ah' sweet stuff so I jus' made some extra bread. There's this cake, though, called three milk cake, that has a real mild batter so maybe I'll try ta' do somethin' with that sometime..." he seemed lost in his own thoughts at the idea. He'd never actually made anything like it before and it was a little more intensive than most of the baked good he preferred but he supposed a challenge could be fun.

His attention was snapped back to Thezroth when the other boy turned down the offer for a beverage and Jacob just nodded in response and settled down, starting to mix his noodles with his sauce and then reaching for a pesto bread ball. At the question, he paused for a moment. "Uh, well, the pesto is more polarizing, I think, 'cause the flavor's stronger. I dunno' anyone tha' doesn't like garlic bread. I prefer pesto, though. The garlic bread's better when ya' dip it in your pasta sauce, though."

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Three more people! Jacob hadn't really thought this would catch on, if he was being honest. He wasn't upset, he was just surprised. Maybe it was solely because of the oddity of the little knitted items in the desert. Whatever the case, he was happy about the income. He looked towards Whisp first and let his eyes run over the items before selecting a white scarf. "Do ya' like this? Ya' can 'ave it, if ya' want," he offered before redirecting his attention to Alsanna and his smile widened. "My Ma n' sister taught me how ta' make 'em. If ya' want, maybe I could show ya' how ta' do it sometime," he stated. He offered no response when she turned to speak with Diego to decide between the two of them which item they'd prefer. Instead, his eyes came to rest on Hypo. "Thank you! It really ain't anythin' special, though. I jus' used the techniques they taught me. I dunno' how ta' make my own designs yet but I'm hopin' I can figure somethin' out soon. I jus' like doin' it, even if it ain't cold 'ere like it was in Blizzardclan. It gives me somethin' ta' pass the time with."

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//It's totally fine! Don't worry about it at all!

Jacob didn't want to stop but he did. He wasn't sure why. When anyone told him to do anything, he almost always would follow it. He tried to blink away his tears and quell his shivering breaths but it was too late. He'd already allowed himself to start crying and he probably wouldn't stop for awhile now. Still, he wiped at his eyes as he turned to face Elvis who, despite reminding him of his father, was essentially still a stranger. He could explain everything. he could explain how his dad had gotten cancer and how Jacob had looked everywhere for a solution but hadn't been able to find one. In the end, Harrison had wanted to die and Jacob had just let it happen. He failed to find a cure and then he let Lottie poison him while he just watched. He'd done nothing to stop it. Some would say it was a merciful death for someone who'd suffered so much but Jacob believed himself to be an accomplice to murder. It was something he'd never been able to reconcile. He just pushed it away and tried not to think about it but it always resurfaced, like some sort of fungus that festered in his mind.

"I-" He wanted to tell someone. Anyone. He wanted to tell Elvis that he knocked the candle down that caused his own scars, that everything that happened to him had been his fault. If he hadn't knocked the candle down, he would be afraid of fire and then Beck would have never harassed him with it and he wouldn't have run off to be alone because there'd be nothing to be afraid of. His Pa's health issues existed long before Jacob arrived in his life but maybe if he'd been in better health, he would have had more time to look for a cure. But Elvis was a stranger. Yet he still felt compelled to speak. Lottie wasn't here to comfort him anymore. Maybe he needed someone else. "I couldn't save them. I-I-I failed. I shouldn't 'ave ever been a medic. I-I let them die n' I was the one tha' started it. I was jus' tryin' ta' help. It was when Pa was startin' ta' feel real bad n' there was a candle n' I didn't wanna' wake 'im up but I was real little then n' I couldn' quite reach it-" His voice faltered and tears began to roll down his face again. He tried to dip his head in some sort of pathetic attempt to hide. He wasn't sure why he felt compelled to trust Elvis. He could have told anyone. Jersey, Hypo, Thezroth, Alsanna. He could have told any of them (although he doubted Jersey or Thezroth would be particularly comforting) but instead he was talking to a stranger.

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Oh... Thezroth like plants? Jacob could grow all types of plants with a touch from his paw but he always preferred just working alongside Lottie to built the little garden they had. It was something to take his mind off more serious matters and it allowed him to review all the material she'd taught him. He would mutter the names of each plant and it's purpose. It was a careful process but he adored it. So, when he happened upon Hypo, Alsanna, and Thezroth, he found a smile come to his maw. This was pretty cute. He had never named his plants but he had once had a pet bird, before he left Blizzardclan, and he cared for that very much. Not in the same way he had cared for his plants, but he supposed Thezroth seemed to think of his plants more like pets. "I think they look real nice, like they've been taken care of real good. I like plants too. Used ta' have a garden with my Ma," he stated happily, settling down. It was about time he took a break from walking around on his bad leg anyway.

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Jacob had tired to find a secluded spot but that was harder to do here than it had been in Blizzardclan. Here, everything was just open to everyone. There were very few barriers and, unless he went inside, it was hard to feel truly alone. Still, he hadn't practiced using his guitar in awhile and he'd found a few new songs so he decided to try it out. For a few of them, he could tell it was originally planned for a different instrument but he just shifted the chords to fit his own instrument and he supposed it'd have to be good enough. After practicing the different chords for a bit, he began to sing softly, "I'm trying to hold my breath. Let it stay this way, can't let this moment end." When he sang, his accent was almost indistinguishable as he tried to shape the tone properly. He had to restart a few times but, finally, as he made his way through the song, he got to the louder portion and allowed his paws to still, straightening himself so he'd be able to get greater breaths. The beginning phrases were tender and soft but he seemed to grow his confidence as he continued, "Getting louder now, can you hear it echoing? Take my hand. Will you share this with me?" He then launched into the chorus, allowing his voice to steadily gain volume and confidence. Eventually, he stopped playing entirely in favor of taking in as much air as possible until he finally came to the ending words, "For me..." He had to catch his breath once it was all done. While it'd been fun and he was glad to play something that didn't remind him directly of London, it was far from the easiest song he'd tried to sing.

//reference to the song

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Jacob couldn't sleep either. The ghosts usually kept him company until he was lulled into sleep but they were unusually quiet tonight and fire bit at the edges of his mind. The smell of smoke was stronger than usual but he knew he couldn't keep staying up. He had run into a bad patch a few weeks ago and he wasn't trying to pick up the habit of insomnia again. His nightmares were terrifying but there had to be a better way to face them than just trying not to fall asleep. If he was being honest with himself, that wasn't really fixing anything. In fact, he often felt as though it was making him worse. In his waking hours, when he hadn't slept, he frequently experienced hallucinations of fire and of his parents and of Jersey or Imperia. It was awful. It was always about them meeting some sort of terrible death. He did his best to ignore the hallucinations. Ironically, the bodies were the easiest to ignore but Beck and Feliks made a lot of noise when they arrived in his mind, making it more difficult for him to concentrate. Feliks always came as a phoenix, with fire lacing his wings, and Beck always came wielding a torch.

Now, though, he was trying to clear his mind of all that. He gazed at the endless nightsky and all the stars that twinkled in it. He tried to imagine how far away they were and how long it'd take to journey to them. He didn't know much about space but he thought it would take an impossibly long time to reach them. He had read long ago, in one of Lottie's books, that by the time light reached where they were, it was likely the star no longer existed. How odd it would be, to one day be one of the brightest specks in the every-expanding universe and the next to be gone, before you could even be seen by anyone. It was both terrible and beautiful, he determined. Even if stars didn't have feelings, he found himself hoping they knew that so many people on this planet appreciated their beauty. There were many things he didn't know about the universe but he liked the idea of a star acknowledging it's own radiance.

He hadn't been paying attention and soon felt himself stumble into a smaller creature, falling as his scarred leg buckled beneath him. "Oh, don' worry 'bout it at all! I shoulda' been payin' attention ta' where I was going," he assured the older male with a light smile, his eyes flickering to the sky one last time before falling to focus on Bucky. "Yes, sir, I am. You're Bucky, right? I think we met when I joined. 'S nice ta' see ya' again. What're ya' doin' out so late?"

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Jacob was actually rather excited about the new event. When he arrived in the Ruins, the first even had been the Gladiator pit which, if he was being honest, wasn't quite his speed. However, throwing paint at people seemed like a lot of fun and happened to be nonviolent so he intended to throw himself into this new activity as much as he could. He first went about gathering up a large amount of paint, some string, and some yarn, setting it all out. He had come up with an idea that he thought would really surprise the Rift but, with his paw being the way it was, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it himself. Well, he sort of would. It was all part of his plan. "Uh, hey! I got some ideas 'bout the paint war we're doin' with the Rift, if anyone wants ta' help me out," the boy called. He could barely contain his excitement, his eyes looking up and down the materials he'd gathered in front of him. "So, I was thinkin', I could design traps that would be attached ta' the pain buckets n' when someone steps on 'em, it tips the bucket over n' paint spills all over them n' their territory! They got a forest on their territory so I was thinkin' we could put 'em there. I can't really climb n' put 'em up there 'cause ah' my leg but I was thinkin' that's how ya'll could help me. Ya' can also help me with makin' the traps, if ya' want, since I wanna make as many as I can," he explained.

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Jacob wasn't sure why his leg was still giving him trouble. It shouldn't be, after all the time he'd spent using different herbs and different physical therapy techniques, some of which Lottie had taught him and others that he'd found in books or even come up with himself. None of them hurt but none of them seemed to help either. He certainly had more movement than he had immediately following the building that'd fallen on him but once he got back to the point of walking with a heavy limp, he never seemed to get past that. He didn't need to use his wheelchair anymore, which he did appreciate, but this wasn't exactly an ideal state for the husky.

He went on these walks every single day and they did seem to help for the day but he wasn't sure if they really did anything in the long term. Still, he felt better doing this than nothing at all and he was terrified of waking up one day and not being able to move at all. He heard a few voices nearby and gravitated towards them until he arrived to see Jerome, Bucky, and a stranger (who was apparently named Steve, based on what he gathered from the conversation). Jacob, clad in his sweater and patterned bandages, probably looked quite out of place between Jerome and Bucky. He offered the man a warm smile, although he glanced anxiously in Bucky's direction. At least they weren't going to kill him.

After his offer, he tried to speak with an optimistic tone, "If ya' do join, I can give ya' some cookies n' pasta n' somethin' ta' drink n' a tour or somethin', if ya' would like that. I made a lot ah' food last night 'cause I couldn't really sleep too well so... so I got plenty ta' give out. I could also make somethin' fresh, if ya' would prefer that. But I really do got a whole lotta' pasta. I think it's a-" he hesitated at this point. A fire hazard. It was blocking everything. He had to give a speech on fire safety once. It was a fire hazard. "Well, it might be some kinda' danger if I don' get it outta' there," he finished with a soft chuckle, trying to make light of the joke. He hoped he wouldn't actually ever be stuck in there with a fire. Just the thought of it set him on edge.

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Jacob had no clue about the body at the border. Today was one of his bad days, although not mentally. No, this bad day was in regards to his stiff leg. He had gone on several short walks but it was still causing him some discomfort. It was difficult to explain the sensation exactly, seeing as he couldn't feel anything. It was like he had to drag his leg around with him but he refused to get rid of it, even if a prosthetic would be a more manageable alternative to his current physical therapy regiment and medication. He convinced himself that he'd be able to push through. Besides, if he got rid of one leg, he'd almost certainly have to get rid of both of them from when the building had collapsed on him and he wasn't ready to make that sort of commitment. As cool as Bucky looked, he wasn't exactly shopping for new legs.

He was yanked violently from his thoughts at the sound of a voice. It seemed familiar but he knew it couldn't be Gwen. She wouldn't sound so mean or distorted. He glanced up from the painting he had laid out in front of him and his usually welcoming smile was replaced by a frown of confusion. "But where did Gwen go? I mean, I know tha's her body but what happened ta' her? is she gonna' come back anytime soon? Ya' didn' hurt 'er, did ya'?" the boy asked, concern etched in his tone. It seemed like they should do something if Gwen was hurt or missing in her own mind.

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"Oh! That's great! 'M name's Jac-" Why did he do that? Why would he accept the pasta if he wasn't going to stay? Jacob's eyes drifted to Bucky once more. He had caught the conversation beforehand and he didn't foresee any of this going very well. "I really think ya' should reconsider. Your name's Steve. Tha's like sayin' I won' join anywhere 'cause everythin's harder ta' say than Jacob. Maybe ya' could jus' try it out! Ya' know, ya' don' gotta stay if ya' don' like it n' we can hang out! Yeah, it'll be really cool! We can eat pasta n' talk about... well, uh... we can talk 'bout how both our names are easy ta' say. It'll be fun!" [/color]he tried to be as convincing as possible but he didn't think it was working very well. "Also, they seemed pretty serious 'bout not wantin' ya' ta' leave so it'd be better if ya' just decided ta' stay for a little while, I think. Like on your own. Without anyone tryin' ta' convince ya' without talkin' ta' ya' n' all that." Jacob wasn't going to attack him but Bucky had seemed pretty serious and he had no intentions of getting in front of the giant metal paw of death that was attached to him. Usually, he wouldn't be so insistent but he sort of liked Steve and he wasn't interested in seeing him added to the body wall.

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