[center][fancypost=width: 500px; line-height:1.4; text-align: justify; padding: 2px][size=9]/ none of this makes any sense wtf i am so sorry
People search for ways to escape the pain, bleed it out of them like it's all they know, the scars, the mess, the aching, like it all amounts to something, like letting go of it'll reward them in the end. Like it'll fly out of the window on crooked wings and return anew, soft and glossy, less hurt and more holy. Clean-cut individuals collapse like this, whole kingdoms toppling in that desperate, crawling search for something more than what heaven wants to give them, and it's more common for them to falter than free themselves, though they never stop trying. Is that madness, or is it determination? Should he hate it or honour it, fear it or revere it? Is there a centre point, a not-quite-nonchalant space in which he can be the storm, rather than trying to observe it from afar or find that constantly-shifting eye? Is he overthinking things, overcomplicating what ought to be simple? These days, Robincub can hardly tell. He's a patchwork of problems, nothing pretty about it, and he's come to learn that good things don't last, great things are illusions created by a melancholy mind and the hollow depths of rage are always there to catch you when you fall.
The taste of apples sours in his mouth, dying at the back of his throat and leaving his tongue rough and bitter. He thrums with nervous energy, that jittery life-force of his hurtling through his veins, sparking in his eyes and pressing against the glass there, straining with the need to escape and leap to... wherever it wishes to. Here, caged, it leaves him shaking, and he bounces in place, paws vibrating against the ground in a futile attempt to expel some of the energy fuelling the rebellion in his heart. His ribs strain, nothing more than an ivory shell of the sturdy cage they used to be, and his heart claws at the bars. He feels as though his chest will cave in any second, cracking under the impact. He shoves his pulse back into position, covers up the baffled anguish with a trained smile. Reminds himself of where his place is in the pecking order, kicks himself back down the ladder and breathes it all out— the screaming, the crying, the pushing-people-away. It dissipates in seconds.
It's funny how people can introduce you to a world without being new to it themselves, how significance is purely subjective, rather than being anything mutual. Sometimes, bonds are forged. Most of the time, they aren't. Rob's feeling like the latter. He can't seem to pin down the reason why. "Stay safe," he manages after some time, voice only breaking at first, before pulling through and keeping steady. "Try not to forget us, yeah? Don't wanna do that to B— what's he gonna do without someone to tease?" The relationship has progressed, of course, but that doesn't mean it's out of that stage just yet. Rob goes for the safest option and keeps his distance, relying on what he knows. At least he knows he'll relate that way; he's not so sure how to cope, otherwise.
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