Posts by lichen.

LICHEN;;

When the molly addressed him, he would give a simple shake of his head. "All th' scents 'round 'ere seem t' be stale.'m sure nothin' is less than a week old, other than th' scents o' prey an' Shadowclan." This would be said in response to the female, though he would continue to scent the area anyways. "'s good t' know tha' th' Thunderclanners aren't traipsing all o'er our side o' th' border. Are ya plannin' on havin' us check th' rest o' th' borders as well, or were ya jus' mostly worried 'bout this one?" Might as well ask the patrol leader about her plans, right? That's how it went? He was incredibly new to the whole patrol thing, and honestly he was a bit lost as to what he was expected to do or say.
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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

He could hear the young tom pad over, recognizing his voice from the one time he had actually conversed with the young apprentice. Nightpaw was a newcomer, an ex-loner, just ike himself. Though, unlike himself, he had actually known what he was getting himself into when he joined the clan. Lichen was pretty much forced to be a member by the previous leader, in exchange for food and shelter while his wounds healed up.

Now that he thought about it, that might be why he was so sick. His immune system had been fucked by his prior injuries, and though they were pretty much healed by now, he was still susceptible to illness and disease. Especially if the rest of the felines surrounding him also contracted said illness or disease.

When asked the question about whether he was feeling well, he would open his eyes and give a wry smile, shaking his head at Nightpaw's offer. "Nah. 'm fine, it'll pass. 'sides, Jagged would jus' try'n force me t' choke down some poisonous plants. I would do better healin' up on m' own." This would be said slowly, in an uncharacteristically quiet tone. He was trying his best not to strain his lungs, afraid that he would end up in a coughing fit. That would just prove how bad he had gotten, and he was trying not to believe that he could possibly die from this.

"Speak o' th' devil an' 'e shall appear." Tone obviously sarcastic, he would once again allow his sightless eyes to close. It took too much energy to keep them open, and it wasn't like they were even serving a function. It was more of a habit than anything to have his eyes open when he wasn't resting.

His attention would move from the apprentice to the medicine cat, ears swiveling in his direction in order to catch what he was saying. Listening to Jagged's complaints about him and his refusal to "take his medicine" was mildly annoying, as he didn't know how anyone could believe that those deadly substances could help someone heal. And then he started blaming the nonexistent ancestors for the misfortune of the clan, resulting in Lichen giving a more firm shake of his head, ignoring the headache that came with the movement. "Th' dead people tha' ya think t' be livin' in th' sky didn't do anythin'. This was simply bad luck, mixed with th' fact tha' this whole clan settin' isn't th' best idea. Havin' everyone livin' in th' same space jus' causes illness t' spread like fire. Someone got sick, an' they passed it on. An' th' reason why ya can't do anythin' is 'cause ya plants are worthless at fixin' diseases."

This time, his tone was a bit more harsh, and he started wheezing halfway through. Once he was done, he would clear his throat, trying to get rid of the incessant tickle that remained at the back, but all it did was force him into a mild coughing fit. The tremors that were wracking his body grew even worse along with his hacking, causing his body to shake with each raspy expulsion of air from his lungs. From his ears to his tail, it seemed like everything was hurting, and once the fit ended, the tom would limply lay on the ground, trying to catch his breath.

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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

And suddenly the leader was there, throwing her authoritative powers around and expecting him to bow down to her "orders". He would bare his teeth slightly in disgust at the fact that he was currently being looked down upon by her. "Sure, ya can have ya spawn watch o'er m' health, but I will not be allowin' 'er t' force anythin' down m' gullet, nor will she be allowed t' touch me without m' permission." It was quite amazing, really, how much trust the clanners put into their medicine cats. They held so much power, even more so than the leaders in the tom's eyes, as they were supposedly in charge of healing the other members of the clan. They heald the lives of others in their hands, and they were around others at their weakest. They could very well snuff out the life of any of their patients if they felt the desire to, it would just take one wrong berry or one bite to the neck while the weak feline was sleeping, trying to rest up and heal themselves. He wouldn't be able to trust anyone with that much power.
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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

He would let out a soft growl at the voices assaulting him, the felines that they belonged to attempting to pressure him into listening. They seriously were unable to comprehend the extent of his stubbornness. Throbbing pain would radiate throughout his head in waves, starting behind his eyes and spreading backwards to his ears. His pelt itched, both from the fever that was plaguing him, and the fact that he knew the other felines were staring at him.

It would take him a couple of seconds to force the pain away, just long enough for the three felines surrounding him to finish with their talking. Though he hadn't caught every word that they were saying, he had understood the gist of what had come from their mouths. It was disgusting, the faith they held in these felines. "'ll listen t' wha' she may have t' advise me 'bout, but I will not promise t' follow any o' 'er suggestions. 've survived this long, this is not m' first time dealin' with an illness. If this kills me, then I was too weak t' deserve t' live, simple as that." This would be spoken slowly, tone forcibly calm and level. He would then get a bit more rough with his speech, nose wrinkling and brows furrowing. "An' how would ya feel if a group o' cats suddenly started tryin' t' pressure ya t' do somethin' tha' ya knew could kill ya? It is not in their best interest t' keep us 'round, we were weak 'nough t' get ill in th' first place. Why would ya keep some worthless mouths 'round jus' t' waste food an' shelter on 'em when they cannot give back t' th' group? Wha's th' point in keepin' a useless, worthless, sickly leech in th' clan when there are others tha' are much more beneficial t' th' survival o' th' group. Th' smart thing would be t' run out th' sick, so that it has no chance o' spreadin', an' so that there was no resources bein' wasted.

"Not t' mention th' fact tha' I actually don' need th' help o' two loons tha' believe in th' magical properties o' poison. I healed from m' broken bones without 'elp, an' m' burns even went away without their assistance. I will not ruin m' body jus' 'cause some molly ordered me to, or some idiot believed me t' be desperate 'nough. I still have m' pride, I will not give in an' 'llow m'self t' be killed jus' 'cause o' some little illness." This rant took quite a while for him to get out, between the wheezing and the coughing. Many portions of it were strained, as if he was trying to say as much as possible in each short breath of his, the itch at the back of his throat not helping in his mission to explain himself to the others. "If ya wish, I could leave th' camp. 'm well aware o' some spots for me t' camp out at until th' illness has left m' body. That is, if you're so worried 'bout me spreadin' th' illness, even though there are dozens more tha' have it as well. Kickin' me out o' camp won' do anythin', not if th' other members o' th' clan are t' be 'llowed t' stay."

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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

"Great, a buildin' full o' th' sick an' th' dyin'. Tha's gonna be an' absolutely amazin' time." He said it with as much sarcasm as he could muster, before simply giving up and laying his head on the ground. Any and all energy that he may have had was completely wiped from his body by the bacteria that was currently ravaging it. And, if he was being completely honest. the abandoned shack actually did sound pretty nice. He had been born and raised in an abandoned building, and had grown quite tired of sleeping on the dirt of the Shadowclan camp.
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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

Nothing.

That was all he could see. It wasn't black, nor was it white. It was simply... nothing.

Three months now, that's how long it had been since the car accident that had stripped away his eyesight, and forced him to live without the beauty of the world. Little under three months since he had come to be a part of the clan, though he still seemed to be treated like an outsider. Over these past three months, he had changed a lot, and yet that effort went unappreciated and he was left like this time and time again.

Alone.

That was what he was, though he was surrounded by those that constantly said that the clan was their family. Even though he was currently residing within the confines of the abandoned building on the Shadowclan territory, the coughs of his clanmates white noise behind his thoughts.

There was nothing he could do right now, no way to prove that he deserved to be a part of this group. Because there was nothing to do, and because he didn't want to remember memories from his past, he was forcing himself to try and remember what certain colors looked like.

He was practically torturing himself with the idea of something he no longer had.

But it kept him busy, no matter how painful it was. And the pain was a pleasant kind, the kind that came with the feeling of truly loving something. Colors were one of the things he loved, and though he knew he likely wouldn't ever see again, he still had the nine months worth of color to recall. And even though it was incredibly difficult to do so, he would try his hardest to remember what the different colors looked and felt like.

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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

"Lie, come on you slowpoke! Stop actin' like a scared little kit and get your behind out here. There's enough room for us to have a real fight, and you are the only one that isn't such a crybaby 'bout losin'. You seriously can't expect me to play with our other siblings, they are such weak losers. They don't even put up a fight!"

I open my eyes slowly to see the silhouette of my sister in the entrance to the abandoned shack, the sun shining through in that way that made it difficult to determine who it was that was walking through. She would bound over, a paw reaching out to bat at my ear, clearly trying to rile me up. That giant grin was on her face, her eyes lit up with excitement, and I just couldn't bring myself to turn her down.

"You are so on, Ami. But I won't be goin' easy on ya, just 'cause you're my sister."

Getting to my feet, I would race over to the shack entrance, walking through the small hole in the wooden wall with ease. Unlike with my mom and my aunts, I was small enough to slip in and out with ease.

"Oh please, you never do. Which is why it's so fun when I beat your ass, 'cause it just goes to show how much stronger I am than you."

Her pelt was bright in the sunlight, red through and through. It was almost like her fur was made of red sand, perfectly sculpted to create a powerful and magnificent creature. She would notice my staring, and would give a playful hiss before throwing her body at me, tackling me to the ground and marking the start of an extensive play session that would leave us both battered, and my pride hurt.

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Lichen was currently lying on the cold floor of the abandoned building, curled up slightly and purring hard with each breath. He was in so much pain, the smallest of movements causing discomfort to flood his body. It felt as if his internal organs were full of fire ants covered in acid, and any movement would send those metaphorical ants squirming throughout his insides. He hadn't eaten anything in a while, knowing that it would inevitable just come back up. In contrast to that, though, he had been drinking a lot more than was normal. Even so, he was still mildly dehydrated, mainly due to the consistency of his feces whenever it was passed by the tom. Most of the water that he drank just went right through him. His ears were lowered slightly in discomfort, but for a moment, when he opened his eyes, he had imagined the sunlight peeking through the wood boards.

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We were only two and a half months old, and yet we were already experiencing the harsh reality of life. We were already being subjected to torture and suffering. It had crept up on us without a sound, the signs there but not showing until it was too late. The lack of energy and appetite, along with the growing difficulty when it came to breathing were all signs, but it wasn't like it could have been fixed at that point. We had come down with something awful, though our mother was completely healthy. My aunts separated themselves from us during that time, leaving my mother to be the only one caring for us, terrified of my cousins catching whatever illness was affecting us.

It was bad, yes, but it didn't stop us from being kits. Amanita would sneak her way over to me and we would tussle until one of us wasn't able to continue playing without falling into a coughing fit. Those were the only times where I had beat my sister, simply due to the fact that she couldn't keep going.

I should have realized that she was getting worse.

After a couple days of difficult breathing and constant coughing, my brother's body just gave in. He wouldn't eat or drink, he wouldn't wake up to any amount of podding. All he did was just sleep. And after a while he died due to a major lack of oxygen. Our sister had been slapped in the face by that reality, becoming incredibly depressed and anxious about everything. Amanita and I, though, we thought we were invincible. There was no way we would die like our weak brother.

That was just a childish hope, and two days after the death of my brother, Amanita had gotten so weak that she couldn't really walk right. She was often confused, and her memory was poor. Her breathing was short and ragged, her lungs constantly wheezing with each little breath she took.

Not willing to watch another one of her children die, my mother had reached out for help. The only one willing to assist, though, was an old gib that went by the name of Brick. He brought a lot of plants over to our place on a daily basis, sorting through them in front of us and forcing my sister to eat it. He would often forget whether he had given her something to take, or even what he had been giving her, and overall it just ended up causing her to get worse.

She was constantly puking, and she eventually just died. The pain that had been attacking her body had gotten to be too much, and she just couldn't hold out any longer. Not even for my sake.

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Breathing was hard, his entire body shaking with each one. He would take a slightly deeper breath than he had been and the air would catch in his throat. This would send him into a coughing fit, the overwhelming scent of death suddenly assaulting him. In order to support his weak body, he would move so that he was half-sitting, body shuddering and curling in on itself slightly. His coughing steadily progressed until, instead, he was retching. Bile burned his throat and coated his tongue, a small puddle of liquid vomit pooling at his paws. His throat was sore and slightly bloodied, tears staining his cheeks.

He didn't want to die.

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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

// He isn't going to die quite yet, I love his douchey face too much. Three months of playing him is nowhere near enough.

"'m fine." He would say it quickly, a slight growl to his tone. He didn't want to be pitied, he didn't want to be seen as weak. Ever since he had been born he had been strong, stronger than his siblings and definitely stronger than this stupid little illness. Help wasn't wanted, even if it might have been needed, as he didn't want to admit to himself or to others that he wasn't strong enough to fight this. He would fight this with all he had.

But her lifeless form, her beautiful fur dull and knotted, was a constant reminder that anyone could die. That this could kill him.

Once he was finished heaving, he would weakly move away from the puddle a little bit and curl up, falling apart on the inside. He was scared, terrified for his life. But he wouldn't show it, he wouldn't allow others to see his weakness. "'m okay, this stupid sickness is kit stuff compared t' what else 've had t' go through. It'll pass on it's own. 'til then, I jus' have t' deal with th' annoyin' vomit an' coughin'." Because he was weak, he would put on a strong face; a facade of certainty and power. Weakness lead to death, and he didn't want to become more of a target after all.
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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

When the female would touch him, he would jump, his entire body twitching at the sudden and unexpected contact. His teeth would immediately be bared, fur standing on end. It took a couple of seconds for him to recognize the female's scent, and once he had he would force his fur to lie flat, though a grimace would remain on his maw and his claws wouldn't stop digging into the wood below him.

When she mentioned herbs, he would let out a snort and turn his head away, entire body following suit until he was laying with his back to her. "Don' think tha' I'll buy int' ya lies 'bout th' "magical healin' properties o' plants". That Jagged-idiot has tried 'is hand for moons, an' 'm not so desperate as t' eat somethin' tha' will kill me jus' with th' hope o' gettin' better." He would say it simply, voice gruff, almost acting as if the female was an idiot for even trying. "Insanity is tryin' somethin' o'er an' o'er an' expectin' different results each time. 'm not gonna change m' answer, so ya can stop pushin'."

With that said, he would let out a sigh. If he was being honest, he wasn't as strong as he made himself out to be. He truly was desperate, but he also didn't want to die, and death was what he associated with "medicinal" plants. All of his energy was being sapped away by the masses of bacteria that had taken root in his kidney and liver, among other internal organs. His body was fighting it, it was working around the clock to try to remove the deadly organisms from his body. And because of that, even just speaking was tiring, not to mention the fact that it was hard on his raw throat.

Then there would be another feline coming over, though Lichen was more aware of his surroundings than he had been moments before. Vibrations through the ground beneath him, as well as the scent of the young tom's pelt alerted the blue furred warrior that Nightpaw was approaching. "'ey." He would say it simply, his thoughts being taken over by the subject of names.

"Night, 'm guessin' that ya have a black pelt? An' Blue, ya have a blue one? Heh, ya clanfolks are extremely unoriginal when it comes t' namin' ya kids if tha' really is th' case." It was difficult to imagine what they looked like, and he had to admit that he had thought of Nightpaw as a black and white bi-color, with an extreme emphasis on the white, if he was just going based off of his interactions with him. And Blueblossom had been imagined by him as a fluffy blue silver tabby. "Ya know, I can't really even remember wha' blue an' green look like. I mean, I know th' sky is blue, an' th' grass is green, but I don' remember how they actually look like."

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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

Because of his illness, he was definitely unable to participate in the patrol. But, maybe he would be given a task that would be able to be done. It was painful just sitting around doing nothing, he couldn't even hunt for his own food without falling into a coughing fit, which would end in him puking up the entire contents of his stomach.

He would hobble his way over to the deputy, every muscle and joint in his body screaming at him in protest. "Give me a task. It's gonna kill me if 'm forced t' stay still any longer." It was an exaggeration, but it seriously did feel like he was just waiting for death to claim him. He needed to keep his mind busy if he was going to be able to beat this without giving up.
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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

Lichen clearly didn't want the strange tom hear. While it took a while for the Thunderclanner's scent to pierce through the wall of sickness and vomit, when it did Lichen would force himself to his feet slowly and bare his teeth in the direction of the medicine cat, ears flat against his head and claws unsheathed. "You have no right t' be here. Get out now, unless ya want t' have t' be healin' ya own wounds. I wouldn't mind carvin' ya up for trespassin' on our territory without permission. Not t' mention th' fact that you are clearly tryin' t' poison us, kill off most o' our numbers so that ya weak clan can o'erpower us." This would be growled, tone surprisingly sharp considering his illness. Honestly, he was terrified for his life, and he wasn't going to let this tom come in here and end it. He was going to protect himself, even if it hurt to even breathe.
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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

The wailing would pierce through Lichen's ears, forcing him from his dreams. He would immediately push himself up onto his paws, his instincts coming over him. He thought that a predator had entered the shed, that they were being killed off by a creature that found out and decided to take advantage of their weakness. It wasn't until Stormpaw spoke that he realized that it wasn't the case. No, two of the many ill Shadowclanners had succumbed to the sickness.

"Quiet down, you're disturbin' th' rest o' everyone else." Death was a part of life, and all life inevitably led to death. That was the way Lichen had grown up viewing those things, and he found it confusing as to why the two felines were ignoring the fact that everybody else inside of that building was trying to rest in order to heal up and regain their strength. "It was obvious tha' this was comin'. Instead o' forcin' th' rest o' us t' wake up from our rest, why don' ya jus' grieve silently. They weren't th' only ones battlin' th' illness, an' th' rest o' us need as much rest as we can get in order t' keep our bodies fightin' th' sickness."

It was obvious that he was feeling absolutely terrible, as he didn't even seem bothered by the death. No, he knew that someone was going to die, and was surprised that it took so long for it to happen. Normally, he wouldn't snap like this, but his entire body hurt, his throat was raw, his mouth constantly tasted like bile and blood, he couldn't keep down any food, water was being constantly sucked from his body, and he was dealing with a mild case of anemia. He was certain that other members were suffering similarly as well. He held no pity for the two deceased mollies, or the two grieving felines, as they weren't the only ones that were suffering physical and emotional distress.
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(c)trexgirl

LICHEN;;

"I have had th' people I cared for, th' people I believed I could rely on an' trust, die. An' life goes on. Their deaths are insignificant, not a drop o' water in th' ocean or a grain o' sand in th' desert. They don' mean anythin'. They were weak, so they died, while I was strong an' had t' push on another day." He would growl it, tail lashing. "Don' ya dare start talkin' down on me. 've experienced more loss than any o' ya combined. M' sister an' brother died beside me while we were curled up at m' mom's stomach. Th' one tha' took me under 'is wing was flattened by a car. M' mother chased me out o' th' shed tha' I was born in at th' age o' three moons 'cause I was a tom. M' first mate an' m' kits all died at once, torn t' shreds by a fox durin' th' kittin' process. If I had grieved, if I had shown a little weakness, I would 'ave been dead. Weakness kills, an' this idiot is killin' us." He would growl it, directed at the kit and his mother, before giving a small, humorless laugh.

"An' I support ya. I 'ave done m' best t' adjust t' th' rules ya forced upon me without any warnin'. I was forced int' th' clan for hell's sake, jus' 'cause I was injured an' had been released by some human onto your property. I hunt for ya, even when I could barely walk 'cause o' th' pain m' broken leg caused me. 've done as much for this clan as any other warrior." With that said, he would turn tail and force his shaky legs to carry him out of the den, shaking with anger. He wanted to tear into her throat, to rip all of them to shreds. They were so stuck up, constantly refusing anything he said or did. It was frustrating, and he seriously felt as if they all hated him. "If ya lived th' life I did, ya would be dead already." It was said before he would push himself out of the building, stumbling as his paws hit the ground. He didn't know where he was going to go, but he was certain that he wasn't coming back for quite some time.
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(c)trexgirl