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I dont mind being retro lol.
I really wanna see how things play out and explore her leaving her clan and such. Since she's youngish, i think feelings being hurt should be the best route ^^
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Rustpaw screwed up so bad. In her search for food to bring home, she’d searched up trouble instead. An alluring smile, and gorgeous eyes made the young lady swoon; easily swept off her feet. But what was love?
It felt too natural, too good, to be curled up in his embraces; feel loved, adored, cared for. But here she was barely at ten moons, expecting a litter. Yet that tom wanted nothing to do with her. Rustpaw would abandon her family to be with the tom she ‘loved’.
Be a fool.
It was merely a game.
For him at least. The fiery flame was another notch in his stick. And instead became the fool for believing in those saccharine words of his. She tried to hide it. But NPC knew all too well what a pregnancy smelled like. Though the panick was short-lived. Not much longer into a full month she’d lost those kits she already thought of as precious, even if half of her wanted nothing to do with the kits of the bastard that filled her with useless thoughts of a happy life and love. Waking up in pain, she staggered out of camp, realizing after waves of pain she stood in a pool of blood. It was obvious the life she carried within wasn’t meant to be.
Just as she wasn’t meant to be. Her world began to crash down around. Heart was racing as she quickly buried the evidence away. Running to where she knew some deathberries still grew. something to take it all away. Love was disgusting. Just like that dark furred thief. So what if he was there when Snow had been birthing. She was a friend to them. Never supposed to be a father, never will.
It was best she join her poor Petalpaw. They understood pain and died too early.
Though as she was about to consume her end, a rustle in the barren bushes caught her attention. They will witness her demise, down the hatch they’d go. Three little berries should be enough if one could kill a kit.
"Speech."
Asphodelfield.
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/ snow !
just to see some dev. It gets better I promise
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
“Asphodelpaw, i’m right here you blind twig.” Rustpaw hissed hotly as she brushed up against her sister. She was angry at the tom for stopping her. It took her a lot and then her plan had to be ruined. The fiery ginger glared at the former medicine cat with empty blue eyes.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
“Those were the last ones....” Rustpaw whispered, her blue, grief-stricken gaze glassy and pained. She felt the pain.her kits. Were gone. So was the love of her life, fleeting as a mirage in the dry desert. Angry, the flaming apprentice turned on the older tom. Swiping at him in rage, pain and a silent wail. She lost it all. Her mind was a turbulent whirlwind of thoughts.
//short post sorry just got off work.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Snarling, Rustpaw stepped in front of her sister. “Don’t need foxdung from you Asphodelpaw. Even as kits you had something to say! To think I even thought of you as a friend.” Looking at her sister, she nudged Stonepaw’s shoulder gently. “L-let’s go... we can ask a warriorbto go with us. Maybe Snow or Blackstar could... even Moonwatcher. She understands anyways.” The young molly’s ice cold blues held no remorse for what she’d tried to do. It was obvious with the blows they traded. Luckily there had been a particularly large nettle bush she ‘accidentally’ got caught in.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Rustpaw pressed forward against Asphodelpaw. “Look you big tree stump. Stonepaw and I aren’t that far off from our warrior assessment either. So what if you’re getting yours a month before we do. We’re as capable as you are. We’ve been training to be warriors as soon as we hit six moons. Now stand aside Asphodelpaw. I’m sure Moonwatcher would let us go.” The three of us are sensible... I can’t stand being in camp for much longer.
Like a possessed monster, she suddenly flashed forward, trying to push Asphodelpaw away like she used to as a kit. Well it would5 work then, she had been too small. Maybe now they were more or less the same size it could be possible?
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
“I-No... let me go!” She screamed. They were far enough from camp. Yes, they were close to Fourtrees but the possibility of being seen by another patrol was slim. Not with many of the clan ill from whitecough. Shaking with anger and pain, Rustpaw struggle to break free from the older tom’s grip. She remembered him and suddenly it was a flashback to that time. “LET ME GO YOU PIECE OF MOUSEDUNG!” love? LOVE!? Lies!
Her heart was pounding against her chest cavity, her tail lashing behind her as she tried to pull away from this captor. Why was he stopping her? She was so messed up. She should join her poor sibling. “Petalpaw is lonely okay! Let me go already!” She could not say she had been pregnant. She was barely a month and her abdomen showed nothing for the kits she’d miscarried a few hours prior. Crying over them wouldn’t bring them back... she was stupid wasn’t she? Once again, she swung her other paw, claws unsheathed towards her captor. Blue eyes were seeing, yet blind with the grief and terror. Rustpaw wanted it to be over...
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Her ears rang. They rang for what it was worth as the older male knocked her around as she was caught unawares after she’d shoved him. Her legs were shaky, the hind leg pulsing with pain. It would go away later on. Struggling to her paws, she snarled at the retreating form of her denmate. “You? You care? How nice. I’m tired of listening.” -I lost it all already.
Casting a sideways look to her sister and Lucidpaw, she was glad that was it. “Let’s go guys.. we don’t need this mousebrain.”
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Rustpaw regained sense after a few moments. “Thanks Lucidpaw... that fluff ball is always like that sadly. If he wasn’t our sister’s mate... oooh. I really don’t know.” The blue eyed fury was calming down at the moment. She hated to dislike anyone but sometimes Asphodelpaw made it easier to do so rather than not. Getting to her paws, she nuzzled her sibling’s cheek. “Let’s just go. We’ll be fine you know... all three of us are amazing hunters!” As of a switch was turned on, the young molly was bright and cheery once more.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
The next sound to escape the flirty tabby was a cross between a snarl and a gut-wrenching cry of grief. How could she be such a fool?! Even as a kit she got into trouble. It drove her mad really!
“Shut u-up. You wouldn’t underst-stand.” His soothing voice could not help the shambling mess this young molly was at the moment. “I-I can’t feel my leg so much... I-I fell for a tom and lost my kits... I wanted to follow Petalpaw...” she sobbed. Whirling on the older tom, she bit into what she could grasp at. She wanted to be free, Rustpaw was fed up. With herself and this pain that was driving her to the edge of a cliff.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Rustpaw grew slack at his shout. She was finished. There was little she could foresee in her future. Not while she walked along this path of despair. Even if she was alive, there wasn’t anything left at to smile about. That’s NPC was right. Her kits would not have lasted. Even if she hated or adored them.
Her blue eyes searched Asphodelpaw’s. “You did not lose your kits. They breathe. I could not even birth mine. I let a tom fool me. I-I won’t do anything anymore... just please. Let me go.”
The fiery ginger felt so broken. He once was a close friend she supposed, but their life paths had taken different routes. She had no idea whether she should be relieved she lost those kits or the fact that it was a mistake, an equally punishing mistake. Her emotions were a whirlwind, no sense of reasoning in her svelte body. Not an ounce left. “My mother’s pain... I know what she felt now when Petal and my older siblings left this world...” she whispered, her voice breaking before fading into a whisper. “I’m broken Asphodelpaw...”
/feels writing this. damn.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
In a way they lost love and their closest companion. “I made the mistake to love.” Rustpaw admitted. Her eyes narrowed at where she’d drawn blood and he didn’t do a thing about it. It was like he could care less!
But Rustpaw saw something else within the older apprentice. Pain.
She never imagined seeing pain alone in those eyes. Maybe it was a figure of her imagination, but she swore he only looked at others with contempt, anger, jealousy, or even hate. Never just pain.
Somehow, she understood what he meant that there just gotta be something better. At least hope for. Yet, her lost kits were a void she could never fill. Suddenly, she felt a chill go up her spine as she shivered in response. “A-asphodelpaw...” she whispered, just as quickly as her emotions riled her up, they had left. And whatever strength she had in her merely faded.
Her body was catching up. All that blood loss from earlier in the day, losing her kits was too much for the young molly. Falling against the older tom, she lost consciousness. Her old friend’s form melting away into darkness as she landed with a thud on the ground.
"Speech."
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POOF
WHAT DO YOU MEAN POOF
THIS IS AN ANTI POOFING ZONE
NO POOFING FOR RUST
N O
NO
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POOF MAMA.
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//my mentor died?! NO . Gave me a good cry for a moment
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Rustpaw had merely tried to get some sleep before her next patrol, but it just didn’t cut it. With so much on the ginger tabby’s mind, it wasn’t surprising. Especially with the secrets she now carried. Figuring that staring at the den walls wouldn’t do her anymore good than getting fresh air outside, the apprentice sat besides the den’s entrance. Just to watch the sky above and unwind.
But the world had other plans for her. Some of the kits who didn’t get ill were enjoying the little snow that was left and began tossing pawfuls of them back and forth, just till one had landed square on the sunbathing tabby’s head.
Oops.
“Hey! Watch where you aim that!” Shaking the snow off her head, the ginger couldn’t help but feel some type of way as the kits bounced off to warm up. Rustpaw didn’t mean to ruin their playtime at all, it was just things weren’t the same for the usually peppy molly.
Times like this she wanted to speak to her mother, but at the same time hide in a hole and not see the light of day.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Rustpaw was happy there was newlife. Though she was a little put off at the fact that Blackstar had another mate aside from her own mother. But she couldn’t hate the senior warrior. It was merely Blackstar’s fault for not keeping himself put. Padding over to congratulate the warrior, the young ginger gavea small warm smile. “Ca I come visit when the kits come?” She asked quietly. There were also what if’s at this point. If her future involved kits of her own.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
Her sister was here. She was afraid that Moonwatcher would find out.
That she had done something terrible. At least tried to. Looking at the older tom with panic in her blue eyes, the younger molly tried to avoid looking at Moonwatcher. “Uh. Yeah... good sunshine I guess?” Rustpaw at this point, felt too hollow. Even if she put a face up, she wasn’t too sure how well she’d be able to face those demons of hers.
"Speech."
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i've got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love and it's all mine
“Maybe I could if I was a warrior....” Rustpaw snorted. Well, she wasn’t that far behind Rosepaw in age... a moon an a half if she thought about it. But she had done nothing to deserve being a warrior. Especially with the last few days. But this news of her step-father’s girlfriend carrying his kits was a nice change. Camp would be brighter in a few moons.
"Speech."
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