Posts by Jadefeather12

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    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    He had a promise he wanted her to make too. Minnow pricked her ears, then flicked them in surprise. He'd want to know if she were being pushed around? Really? He cared enough for her well being in that regard that he was asking her to promise? It made Minnow think about what was going on lately, about Revolution and Dualkit and Azuri. All cats she was on the wrong side of, all cats who let her know they didn't think the best of her, and all cats who could easily push her around. I don't need to bother Felix with that though... It wasn't so bad, when she thought hard about it. They just... Wanted her to be a BloodClanner. Understandable, right? But if it got bad, really bad... Maybe it would be okay to share her feelings with Felix. Minnow was hesitant, she didn't want Felix to have to deal with her problems as well as his own. So her wouldn't worry though, the she kit nodded. "Yeah. O-Okay, I will, Felix." It would be hard, hard to decide what was worthy of telling him, hard to decide to tell him at all. The caramel and white girl was a reclusive creature, generally she put her feelings last, and convinced herself that those around her were right, whatever they said. Minnow had promised though, and she'd do her best to keep it. What if my promise becomes a lie too? Lies. Horrible, ugly things, that often drove the closest cats apart. More likely than not, both cats would have to face the consequences, someday. Minnow was quiet again, not feeling quite great, but a tad better than she had been feeling. "So, uh.. Wanna go hunting, or something? She still planned on repaying BloodClan for the prey she'd eaten, and maybe Felix would be able to show her some pointers. In nicer ways than Revolution...

    Tags "speech" thoughts

    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    Minnow tilted her head. Really? But... In the streets, you were alone, you were in constant danger, and had to work quite hard to survive. Huh. Now that she thought about it, being in BloodClan, kind of felt the same. Well, not as lonely. Not when she had Felix, though Minnow was so scared she wouldn't, soon. Felix looked a little guilty that he'd said that, Minnow supposed it might be seen as a traitorous thing to say. You had to watch what you said in a place like BloodClan. Watch what you did even more. One wrong word, and no one trusted you. Some might even hate you. One wrong action, and most would assume things about you. They'd decide opinions right then and there, and if would be next to impossible to change them. That's why he can't make the promise. Minnow told herself as Felix became still. That' why-


    'I promise.' He wasn't looking at her, and if Minnow tried hard enough she could almost believe he hadn't spoken. No. But he, he can't make that promise. He was a BloodClanner. Being cruel was... Was what they did. He didn't, you didn't hear him say it, you're just being wishful... Now Felix looked up, amber eyes locking with her brown ones. 'I promise I won't.' There was no mistaking his words this time. Oh Felix... Minnow hoped beyond hope that he could say that, and have the words be true. A small while ago, perhaps she'd have believed him instantly. But the turkish van knew better now. A promise like that, made in BloodClan, was like a ticking bomb. Sooner or later, Felix's time would run out. Sooner or later, the words would be nothing more than another lie. One day innocent blood would be on the tuxedo's paws, and Minnow would cry for this broken promise. I wish you hadn't promised... She wished she hadn't asked. Minnow realized she'd been silent for quite awhile, lost in her own despairing thoughts. "Thank you, Felix." It was all she could say. Was there a glimmer of hope in her words? Hope that maybe she was wrong, that somehow, Felix would be able to keep his promise in this place? No. In BloodClan, there was no hope to be found for cats like Minnow.

    Tags "speech" thoughts

    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    Too much.. Minnow yelped as Rev's claw stuck her, shuffling back from him. Was he right? Had she taken his words and gone too far, eating more than she'd needed to? I mean, I'm not constantly hungry anymore. But she'd thought that was just from eating regularly again. Maybe it was from eating too much? Maybe he's just bugging me still. "I-I guess you're right.." Minnow meowed, despite her thoughts. Maybe I have been too concerned with eating, and haven't done enough to balance that out. Where was the line between too little and too much? Would she ever be able to find it, and make Rev leave her alone? Minnow could try, she supposed uncertainly. "I'll uh.. Look for some more prey now." She mumbled, looking around once more. Hopefully something that wouldn't be too easy, but not so hard that she just failed spectacularly...


    The turkish van pricked her ears as a set of wings fluttered overhead. A crow landed amongst the garbage heap not far away, ignoring the two cats as it scavenged for a meal. It's not at all worried about us. The crow clearly didn't see the two cats as a threat, perhaps Minnow could use that to her advantage? It's kinda big... She'd have to try for it anyway. The she kit tried to look as if she had no interest in the crow, whilst also judging how far she'd have to jump, or if she'd have to move closer. The crow was confident, but likely not stupid. If she walked much closer it would realize what she was up to. Am I strong enough to leap for it? An adult cat could, maybe, but Minnow knew she couldn't move quite that far in a single bound. Catch it off guard. Go. It was the best option she could see. Minnow bolted forwards, sprinting as fast as she could to close the distance between her and the bird. The crow didn't even bother shrieking, only raising it's wings to lift off. Minnow pounced, but not well enough. Her claws snagged one wing, but the bird's talons flashed out at her, and she flinched away from them. Her grip wasn't strong enough to pull the crow back and finish it off. If Revolution didn't help her, the bird would slip away in a few moments. I messed up.. Minnow was afraid of what he'd say to her either way.

    Tags "speech" thoughts

    “Yeah but you’re eating way too much.” He jabbed at her with a claw, “Maybe actually doing something for BloodClan could get rid of all that extra weight.”

    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    //The warning is for those who are extremely sensitive, nothing too bad in here, mentions of an eating disorder


    Minnow had run far, far from the border where Felix had dragged in the ThunderClanner. She'd made a mistake in staying, she should've gone when he'd asked her to. Why had she stayed? Had she hoped she could change his mind, stop him from... From... Maybe. Maybe a small part of her had hoped that, by sticking around, Felix might lose his nerve. That hadn't happened though. Minnow's stomach was heaving, churning each time the picture reentered her head. 'Blood... Flesh...' "No!" She wanted it to go away, she wanted to stop seeing that moment, it made her sick, sick sick sick. 'Crack'. The sound the poor tom's spine had made as it was dislodged... Minnow stumbled to a halt, not yet at her destination. The memory of that sound set something off inside of her, and the caramel she kit retched and vomited, the memory becoming too much. She gasped for breath, coughing and shrinking away from the smelly puddle. She'd be quite hungry later, but Minnow couldn't stay where she was. She gathered herself quickly and went on, small paws running and running and running.


    She wasn't sure why she was headed to the place she was. It wasn't a place that would be comforting, not after what she'd seen. If anything it might make her think more, just because he'd shown it to her. But when Minnow caught sight of the dumpster and the ladders, she pressed on without hesitation. Each stride, each leap brought her farther and farther along. Minnow scaled the building effortlessly, fuelled by her panic and need to get away. She had to get far, far away. The she kit nearly slipped on the final rung of the last ladder, but managed to pull herself over the building's edge, and onto the roof. Lungs burning, Minnow could finally rest, and she came to a stop near the other side of the roof, where she could look out over the city. Felix had said she could come here anytime, with or without him. It had been such a come, peaceful place, the first time he'd shown her. The sun had been setting, and Minnow had been in awe of it all. She'd loved it. Now, as she sat on the edge in broad daylight, everything didn't seem so great. Maybe the time of day was wrong, but Minnow was pretty sure that wasn't it. This felt wrong because Felix wasn't up here too, though even if he had been, things still would've been bad.


    Why did he do it? Stupid question. Then again, I'm a bit of a stupid cat, aren't I? Stupid for hoping. Stupid for thinking maybe, just maybe, Felix wouldn't do it. Stupid for thinking he'd really had a choice at all. It's not his fault. The turkish van repeated that to herself, had been repeating it as she'd run, but it didn't help much. It wasn't his fault, Felix had to torture the ThunderClanner. He'd captured the tom on Caledon's orders, and just setting him free again would've been pointless. To Minnow though, it still was pointless. What had BloodClan gained by maiming another clan's cat? More enemies? Maybe Caledon hoped that ThunderClan would attack in retaliation, and he'd be able to use that as a reason for more kidnappings. That's still no reason to... To ruin a cat's entire life. His entire future. Minnow wanted to cry again, just thinking about it, but it seemed she'd run out of tears to cry with. How could he? She thought, whilst simultaneously thinking, He had no choice. Revolution briefly entered the she kit's mind, how he'd offered to 'teach' her how to hunt. Really, it had been just another scheme to make fun of her. To show her how weak and useless she was as a BloodClanner. Felix was a real BloodClanner. She wasn't.


    Chaos. That was what Minnow's whole existence had been. A life of chaos, horrific events, insults, and so much more. And Minnow had no control over any of it. She felt like she was spiralling away, at the mercy of whoever came across her. They controlled what she saw. They controlled what she heard. At times, it seemed they even controlled how she felt. Minnow's ears flicked back at these thoughts, they felt so true. Maybe it wasn't always other cats that controlled what happened to her, like when the maimed kit had fallen from the red house. But Minnow certainly hadn't been in control of that, she knew for certain. Control. It seemed like something any cat except Minnow would wish for. She didn't want to command anyone, she didn't want to run a clan or even lead a patrol when she was older. A weakling like me would never be in control anyway. They'll always bully me, they'll always do awful things in front of me, and I'll always feel terrible because of it. Minnow's ears were flat against her skull now, and it seemed she did have some tears left. They leaked down her face, and she fought to keep from trembling. Stupid brain. She didn't even have control over her own thoughts. What a pathetic life you'll have. Minnow twisted away from the drop in front of her, turning her back on the city and trying to focus on something, anything to keep her grounded. 'Blood leaking from the tom's back, as furs was scraped away, then flesh, to reveal bone...' "I don't want to think about that." She murmured to herself quickly. 'Revolution, snapping insults at her that deep down, she knew were true...' "Sh-Shut up." Minnow tried again, stared at the small plants growing on the roof, think about them, about green things, about- 'She wasn't in control of anything, her mama was run over, her best friend had mutilated someone, she was going to die here...'


    "I-I am in control!" She yowled, eyes flashing with desperation. She was, she was in control! Prove it. "I won't eat tonight!" What... What on earth was she saying? Her shout echoed away, fading fast as the words sunk in. Minnow was motionless, besides her small chest rising and falling unevenly. That will work. You can control that. She was dumbfounded, unknowing of where the idea had even come from. Not eat? From personal experience, Minnow knew that hunger was a terrible pain. Not worse than being taunted every day. Not worse than being paralyzed. Not worse than being out of control. Minnow's tail flicked fearfully, she wasn't thinking straight, was she? Just... Just traumatized from earlier. She wouldn't really go through with what she'd shouted into the sky. But... would it help? Eating, was a thing Minnow had control over. She could hunt, therefor she could decide when and if she ate. If it felt like she was making a decision, just for tonight... Would that make her feel better? The she kit's heart, which had been thudding a million miles an hour, was starting to calm. As if reassuring her that yes, that would help. In more ways than one. Revolution had told her that she shouldn't eat until she'd repaid BloodClan for every piece of prey they'd given her. Missing one meal would help her towards that goal, and maybe, just maybe, make him lay off a bit. Minnow had reached a healthy weight since joining BloodClan, she was definitely no longer starving. She'd already thrown up everything she had inside of her, so if she did eat she'd have to eat twice as much this afternoon... Just try it. Minnow could see how going without supper felt. Just once. Thinking about it now, was making her feel a bit better, actually. She had a plan. She had something that could anchor her when she was flipping out, with the knowledge that she did control at least one thing in her life. It wouldn't solve all of her problems. It wouldn't make Felix's deed disappear. It wouldn't make her a true BloodClanner. It wouldn't make everything all right. But... Could it help her cope, just for one night?

    Tags "speech" thoughts

    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    It was something of a great relief to hear that Felix wouldn't kill her, if that's what he was told to do. At least their friendship went that far. But he'd also said that if BloodClan told him to kill, he would kill. So which was the lie? His next words might be humorous to some, nothing was really fair, it seemed. It wasn't fair that Felix had to live a life like this, that this was all he'd ever known. It wasn't fair that Minnow's family had been torn apart. It wasn't fair that for Felix to belong in BloodClan, his actions would have to cut Minnow deep. "It's, better than living in the streets." In most ways, at least. He wanted to know what she'd been about to ask, and Minnow hesitated for some moments. He wouldn't be able to make the promise. And if he does, it'll be a lie. He'd asked to know though, so she finally spoke. "Could you, promise me that... You won't needlessly hurt someone, just for admiration? If it's an order..." Minnow still didn't think it was right, but she doubted anyone could refuse an order from Caledon.


    "If it's an order than I understand. But... There are other ways to gain respect than hurting some innocent forest cat, isn't there?" Minnow knew it wasn't fair to try and extract a promise like that. But wasn't there? Minnow knew she'd still respect Felix if he didn't torture anyone, surely for others there would be something else he could do? 'I really hope so.' He sounded just as uncertain as she was about whether or not their friendship could survive. If we both don't know, what's going to happen? What if Minnow did lose her best friend? How would she cope in this place, this land of loss, pain, blood, and other horrors? I'll figure it out. She'd have to, sooner or later.


    Tags "speech" thoughts

    f8OTXJ9.jpg

    Finch| She cat| 11 moons| Former apprentice of RiverClan, now rogue| Tags

    ~~Ready as I'll ever be~~


    IC That must've hurt. Finch had loved her own family dearly, besides her dead beat father, as she thought of him. She so wished they were alive, but would she prefer them alive and have them cast her out, or rather they remain dead? Alive. She knew that. Finch would give anything to have her brothers and mother alive. Although, if even they didn't accept her, things would be much worse, likely. The tabby narrowed her eyes at Dragon's offer, and twitched her tail. You only do what you need to survive. Accepting the offer would be foolish. It would be rash, Finch's mortality rate would surely go up if she joined a raider group. Revenge. Another thing Finch was starting to care about. Her anger lead to the want for revenge, against DarkClan, WindClan, RiverClan. Maybe this would be a good opportunity. She could show them what she was truly worth. She could show them all. "What's the catch, if I'm to join this group?"


    OOC

    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    Leave? Minnow stared at Felix, despair shimmering in her eyes. She understood. She shouldn't be here for whatever went down next. Just listening to what Loveday was saying made her want to throw up. But knowing that Felix was going to do it? " Y-You're going to..." This poor ThunderClanner. He would never walk again, all because... Because Felix wanted some acceptance in BloodClan? " No. No, I'm not leaving." Minnow knew it was pointless. She was only hurting herself, there was nothing she could do for Duckpaw. But... If Felix was really going to... Then he can see me watch. Her heart was beating faster, panic swelling within her as Felix called for someone to hold Duckpaw. She felt nothing but sympathy for the tom, and her heart seemed to break at his words. He just wanted to go home. Dualkit fell upon him, and Felix moved in. " Wait.."


    Minnow had thought she'd be able to stay quietly, but there was no way. Felix dragged his claw down Duckpaw's back, and everything inside her screamed that this was wrong. " Felix, st-stop, please st-op!" But he wasn't listening. He paused on the spot Loveday had spoken of, and just for a second seemed to pause. Tears blurred Minnow's vision, and she supposed she should be thankful for them. Now she wouldn't see clearly what happened next. Claws tore into flesh. Screams sounded from Duckpaw, and a small cry of shock came from Minnow. How could he? No, no she had to stop this... But I can't. This was who Felix was. This was BloodClan. Claws scraped bone now, and Minnow knew what came next. " FELIX!” Her voice came out as a sob, but it wasn't enough to drown out the crack that came from Duckpaw's back. Oh no... Oh no. Minnow turned and fled, tears streaming down her horrified face.

    Tags "speech" thoughts

    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    The she kit pricked her ears at the sound of welcoming mews. Someone new had come to BloodClan. Curiosity and nerves battling within her, Minnow padded over to see who was here. Chaos had apparently brought a new she cat, and Minnow realized the female was blind, much like Mint. Everyone was welcoming, well, besides Loveday, so Minnow added her voice to the group. "It's nice to meet you, miss. I'm Minnow." With a start, Minnow realized that she could scent stale housefolk smells on Azuri's pelt. Had she come from a house, like Minnow had? Well, I sort of came from a house. After that had been the street, then BloodClan. Minnow wondered if Azuri's story was any similar, but she wasn't sure if it would be rude to ask or not.


    //prior to their other encounters ^^

    Tags "speech" thoughts

    f8OTXJ9.jpg

    Finch| She cat| 11 moons| Former apprentice of RiverClan, now rogue| Tags

    ~~Ready as I'll ever be~~


    IC Dragon. Alright, as for what they wanted, they seemed quite intense about it. Punishing anyone who'd done wrong, seemed a bit difficult but understandable. Ah. The real reason, or what Finch was almost certain was. Dragon was angry at their father, for a reason not fully explained. Casting Dragon down from where? "I see. He kicked you out of your home?" Finch meowed, still twitching her tail absentmindedly. Now it was her turn. But how could Finch admit such a thing? She didn't need RiverClan, didn't need anyone, her 'deepest desire' was a stupid thing that she didn't care about. "I suppose what I might've liked is to be accepted." She finally muttered, tail now lashing. "But there is no where for me to be accepted anymore, so there's not much to be done about that, is there."


    OOC

    You can't fool your body

    You can only fool your mind

    Minnow ★ BloodClan ★ kit ★ 5 moons ★ female

    Finally he was here, and Minnow watched Blahkenmuro speak, listening curiously. It didn't? But surely, hostility was more guard than stammering like an idiot? Despite that, Minnow caught a hint of a smile from the second leader, aimed at her. What? She was surprised of course, what had she done to deserve that? Perhaps he feels sorry for me. Minnow pondered, as the leader reprimanded Dual for not looking at her. Yeah, that was probably it. Still something, right? He even praised her for calling him, and by that point Minnow was looking shyly at the ground again. She'd only said one word, if she hadn't called, someone else likely would have. Charcoal was welcomed for his gift, and it seemed Minnow had a new clan mate. He didn't seem, so bad, but Minnow wondered what kind of cat he'd be, now that he was in the place he wanted to be in. Blahk gave him some advice, do what he wanted, act like he could, and just see where it got you. Minnow could never do that, too shy and reserved to even pretend to be in charge. She didn't like stepping on toes, and certainly didn't like being yelled at for being wrong. Looking at the tom, she meowed, "Well, uh, welcome, sir."

    Tags "speech" thoughts