Chastiefol had no right, no right at all, to be back here again. Not after what he had done to the group. Abandoning them, abandoning Suga, just as he had left behind his beloved fairy forest all those years ago was in his own eyes, unforgivable. Disappearing acts of his made him appear much more like a failed party magician than the apparently powerful fairy king that he was supposed to be though, it was difficult for him to even attempt to live up to such a reputation when he found it much easier to avoid what he could not cope with. Running away and indulging in his own pathetic cowardice had always been what he resorted to, the boy being far too stubborn to accept aid from those that wanted to help him and instead getting himself into more trouble as consequence of this. To tell the truth, he really was no longer surprised by the fallout of his own behaviour, just disappointed in himself.
When he found out that his forest was gone, his birth place where he had grown up so happy and free and young and what had gone wrong?, it had been perhaps the most mortal of responses for him to break down. Not only could he never go home, not anymore, but he also had the weight on his shoulders that he had been the cause of the devastation. Dark beings wreaking havoc upon his lands, laying waste to all that stood in their way, had not cared whether there were innocent individuals in the way or not. All had been incapable of staining up to the prevalent evil and he had just left them to all suffer through it alone and although his younger sister had done her best to protect it all whilst carrying the responsibility that he had selfishly pushed upon her shoulders, it had not been enough. No one could have predicted it, the destruction of the fabled fairy forest, but that did not make him any less accountable for the ruination of his homeland. Perhaps it was too much for him to blame himself heavily for it all but it is difficult for him to not entertain the thought that things might have gone differently if he had acted differently. What if he had been there still, able to stand beside his people and vanquish the lands of the corrupt?
What if he had never left to try and save the minority that had departed from the forest because honestly, all that that had given him was the loss of it all. In the end, Chastiefol had been incapable of saving anyone and it still to that day hurt him. He had been forced to kill his best friend only to return to the charred remains of the region that he had sworn he would defend with his life he carried the blood of his people soaked deep into his fur, staining soft blue a disgusting muddy crimson, with his sister and best friend's blood dripping wet from his paws. No matter how much he washed, drowned, himself, not even the endless waters of the ocean could wash away his sins.
That had been before he had found the haven of the Solaris Kingdom, then Sunclan, where he believed it would be easy to lay low and forget about the crimes against his kind that he had committed. But that had not lasted for as long as he had wanted to. He had left it all behind once more because the feeling of safety and security that the group had initially given him had faded into minuscule nothingness. Caught up in the wake of his brutal torture, proud former sunguard had resorted to doing the one thing that he did best in his own typical fashion. Running from his problems, again, instead of staying strong. He did not deserve to be the king of anything, he did not deserve to be anyone's friend, he did not deserve forgiveness.
Yet here he was, prepared to beg for the mercy and acceptance of those that did not even know him like a naughty child plead for an early exemption from just punishment. Floating silently, his beloved spear hovering a few paces behind him though moving as steadily as he did, he can not help but think not only of what he is to do once stranger attempts to welcome him back into his own home but his mind also wanders back to his past. All that he had done, every last detail of it, still ate away at him, rotting adolescent mind near beyond repair. Little sense could be found in attempting to linger on the problems since much had changed since then in both the world surrounding and in himself but, at his core Chastiefol remained the same as always. Fiery, paranoid, and naive. Ultimate holy trio of clearly blessed traits. Never given the resolution that he had so desperately yearned for, it was no wonder that his mind remained in dark places in spite of his own better judgement.
Shaking his head slightly, clearing his thoughts in etch a sketch manner, he forced powdered blue eyes to focus on his surroundings. Drinking in the area with newfound curiosity, the boy came to a halt to hover on the spot, tail swishing to and fro as he surveyed the land with eyes turning rather watery. "Solaris Kingdom, huh?" Something wistful, a deep yet profound longing, resonates between the words. Simple words that contain enough personal meaning to make him feel as if he is about to explode with sentiment frothing at his lips and blood scalding hot with words left unspoken. Out of what one could only perceive to be nervous habit, Chastiefol found himself subconsciously reaching a paw out to urge his spear closer to him, drawing out a faint sigh of relief only once the weapon is directly at his side. After all, he had left in the first place due to not feeling safe. A fear such as that surely can not be erased with ease. There is one thing lingering on his mind however, other than all of the hardships and suffering casting storm clouds around him.
"I missed you."
//sorry that this got so long, i wanted to reestablish his past and whatnot since the last time i played him was 2017 honestly most of this isn't important unless you want to know more about him as a character and don't feel the need to match the muse at all!! the most important parts are really the last two paragraphs!!!
