Posts by OLEANDERPAW

ollie: my mom's dead.
ollie: congratulations on the necrophilia i suppose.
ollie: cass , would you?
ollie: because that would truly be amazing.

ollie: i'm not allowed medication, my therapist says it is unsafe.
ollie: now please crow, i'll be standing outside i assume you now my address.
ollie: and good, i don't have time for idiots.

poisonousflower has logged off
poisonousflower has logged on

ollie: ...
ollie: someone just robbed me.
ollie: what have i ever done.

maybe, in ways, ollie did match the description of what everyone expected from a feline born of shadowclan blood, however, he still held many qualities that did not line up and separated him greatly from the existence of his clan. he was violent and that was something he could not deny, he had a tendency to get into more fights that was likely healthy and he simply could not fight that, the rage under her skin seemed more powerful than even her own will at times and despite the fact that maybe ollie found no use for bloodshed it still did not matter. he was cruel, vicious, but he supposed she did not consider herself entirely ruthless - maybe she pushed boundaries and broke certain aspects of people without truly meaning too but ollie would not, at all, classify themselves as ruthless. well, it was her own opinion but she could not speak for others, she always seemed to have a difference opinion when it came to others and while she believed herself to be something she could not say that was how so many others saw her. it seemed that so many seemed so easily ruffled, so easily angered (as if she were truly one to speak about easily angered) and so very sensitive.

the white feline huffed softly as they made their way across the camp, the fur on their back standing at attention as their head lowered into a common state of aggression. ollie had been so on edge lately and they could not even begin to explain the burning of the blood beneath their skin - it hurt, the redness and boiling of anger inside of them so physically hurt and oleanderpaw was unsure what they were meant to do about it. something was going to burst soon and ollie was not sure if the outcomes would be harmful to itself or to the poor idiots who managed to find themselves anywhere near the aggressive apprentice. as they continued to move they felt their shoulder collied with the mass of something much larger than themselves and they could not help the vicious snarl that ripped out of their chest as their cross eyes moved up to glare at the older tabby. "watch where you are going you mangy idiot."
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APPRENTICE
Oleanderpaw ♀/♂/⚲ played by ASYLI

that moment you have to seriously think what ollie would be
if it considers himself pangender and you just,,, fuck. i put
them all because that's kind of the truth? it was really difficult

oleander was not someone who talked about their feelings, it was simply not something they had ever had the chance to do. it wasn't strange for them to lock away how they felt and to deal with it on their own as that was how they had always handled things, it was the only thing they knew how to do. despite how depressing that sounded, it had never really affected them in the way so many would believe - they were not victim to thoughts that drove them mad, to ideas that haunted them, they didn't have feelings that felt as if they would utterly crush them. in a sense, ollie was fine, ollie was okay, and ollie didn't need to release the emotions within them as he didn't care enough to allow them to bury him under their weight. it was the way he worked and it was a way in which he found the easiest escape from the thoughts that seemed so insistent to appear no matter how much ollie pushed them to the side; the less he spoke about them, the less frequently they appeared and the more oleander felt he was able to move on with his life. he had never really understand the cats who could so easily tell someone their emotions, could speak about how they felt without completely shattering themselves in the process but he supposed most had to because they were not was well put together as ollie found herself to be.

it was the biggest reason that ollie felt enraged by the female's question, felt hatred and anger boil together as he allowed his crossed eyes to shift to stare back into her green eyes. he wasn't sure exactly what she wanted from her, wanted the other so desperately tried to reach and whatever she was searching for, oleander wanted her to stop. he didn't need people in his life, attempting to find something wrong with him in order to make themselves feel as if they had done their good within their lifetime... it was annoying and pesky and ollie wanted nothing more that to hit her, to knock that falsified caring from her mind and to show her that she was not needed. however, it was far too tired to do anything rash, their body screamed with exhaustion and they wanted nothing more than for the feline to shut up and run off to do whatever it was that she did - probably go pick flowers to give to kits, or whatever it was that nice people like she did. he blinked a few times before scoffing loudly and stumbling softly in the darkness: "do you always put your nose where it's unwelcome or is it just with me? either way, i'd like you to go find someone else to annoy because i am really tired of you getting involved with things that don't concern you." he moved his heterchormic eyes away then, looking around for anything to help get them away from the insistent , oversized, apprentice; although, it was still the middle of the night and there was no distractions, no excuses to pull him away and it made the white apprentice sigh in agitation. "i have nothing to talk about, stop pestering me." his voice was quiet, he wasn't in the mood to awaken any of the other warriors and have to deal with more nuisance than he already had to put up with. he paused to shake his pelt lightly, growling as the water began to push down his long fur - it was as if the world was doing it's absolute best to irritate him, to drive her simply up the wall. "i don't understand what you want from me."

//wowo sorry this took so long!
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oleanderpaw was not familiar with most members of shadowclan, largely because they couldn't be bothered to learn the names of so many felines who did nothing but step continuously on his nerves. she wasn't sure when exactly she stopped trying to learn the faces or the names of individuals of shadowclan nor was she really keen on figuring it out - to her, it was not something of upmost importance. ollie would allow the others to try and learn everyone's name, to become friends with everyone, to bond and do whatever it was that they decided to do afterwords; ollie didn't care, she hardly ever cared it would seem. she had long since stated her dislike of nearly every member of shadowclan, whether she knew them or not. ollie wasn't sure why she felt such a deep hatred for people around them but that rage had always been deep seated within her. the idea of allowing someone close, to become friends or to form bonds was such a foreign thought and one they would rather no hang onto and it had done wonders for ollie - they could thrive on their own, could take care of themselves, they didn't need the approval or care of anyone around them. it was one of the reasons she found it utterly pointless to meet any of the other members, she didn't care enough about them and it would only cause strife that would ultimately lead to nothing but prideful arguments and stupidity that had ollie lashing out with the ever present red rage. although, this time they hadn't exactly had the chance to avoid the stranger as she had very well nearly barreled into him as he had appeared from seemingly nowhere.

"congratulations, no one cares." she mumbled out harshly, her crossed eyes moving to meet the eyes of the unfamiliar apprentice. ollie had never been one for pleasantries and didn't find the point in faking kindness or whatever it was that people seemed so insistent that he show, he was rude and he had long ago accepted that. he found no point in being faking an emotion when it was not present, what good would it do? ollie didn't care about saving face, making himself look good, or keeping up her social appearance - maybe to some that sounded strange but oleander was comfortable with herself and if she didn't care to ever be nice, then he wouldn't be and it did not really matter to them the emotions that were created by their near lack of empathy. they blinked a few times before shifting to settle down and stare the almost stranger down; he was incredibly fragile and seemed almost frightened and ollie was incredibly annoyed by them and they weren't exactly sure why. humph, the day ollie was not confused by themselves would truly be a day to remember but they doubted it would ever come soon and until then they were content to constantly question both their thoughts and their emotions. lifting their chin slightly, they allowed their heterochromic eyes to narrow before a sneer began to light up their face; "oleanderpaw, if you must know who to curse or to insult or whatever it is you plan on doing next."
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"i will when you cease being a fool or did you actively ignore the fact that the scent clinging to them is of shadowclan decent." they shifted their eyes to blink in the direction of the warrior, as if unfazed by the harshness of the words. their tongue was sharper and being insulted was nothing new for him and it no longer affected them in the ways so many others would wish it would. oleander had long ago accepted that he was not a nice person, he wasn't good, he was blunt, and cold, and often times the words he said offended those around him and he was fine with that. he was beyond antisocial, he outright hated most everyone around him and the fact that he was here right now talking to a bunch of people with ego's the size of trees was doing nothing to lift his almost constant sense of rage. ollie wasn't known for being antisocial... he was the definition of antisocial; his sheer lack of friends and the fact no one seemed keen to actually be around proved said point without fault. he didn't even want to be here, business or not this whole situation had been a rather... unhappy accident that had him interacting with a bunch of fools. he should have simply kept walking when he'd nearly run into the tiny brat, that was likely his biggest problem.

"he is already a member of shadowclan, idiot." they snapped back, their crossed eyes narrowing as a almost smug like sneer filtered onto his face as he shifted his face away from the warrior. "how on earth did they allow you to become a warrior if you can't even tell one of your own apart from strangers, humph, and i thought we were falling apart before. this? is utterly disappointing." he let out an almost smartass smirk and shot it towards the warrior. he turned his eyes back to the apprentice, the bored look returning as he impatiently waited for the other to hurry up so he could go to the den and take a nap.
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ollie had had a hard childhood, he was not one who had had someone to be there for him or to protect him. his father had been more than... cruel in his own ways and ollie had grown up not knowing what it felt like to be wanted or needed or even loved and he knew that was one of the biggest reasons he was as twisted and as soiled as so many of the other cats thought him to be. he had never had the desire to be around people or held any loyalty to any member of shadowclan before, no one had ever given him a reason to want to stand at their side and defend them until he no longer could. maybe that's why he felt so keen on pushing everyone so viciously away, although, he would never truly know the answer to that.

ollie was not a good person and that was something he was not ashamed to admit but that did not mean he was completely and entirely heartless - no matter how much he wished to be such. he wasn't void of empathy, he wasn't completely gone and as much as he enjoyed pushing people to their very emotional limits he knew when cruel crossed into monstrous and that was not a line he was not yet willing to cross. as such, when she watched the scene unfold in front of her she knew that she had to do something, she had never stepped in on the defense of someone before but she had never felt that someone had ever needed it before. so he pushed himself forward and ran as best as he could towards the pending doom that seemed impending for that poor fox kit.

he slammed himself viciously into the queen, pressing a protective paw over the frightened fox kit as his cross eyes moved to snap towards the female. the coldness of them matched the seemingly emptiness of her's, his eyes shifted away quickly to stare at the baby laying near his paws and he felt a surge of panic boil through him. he had no idea what he was supposed to do but he was not going to let it be murdered here in cold blood. species or not... it was a child. "if you want to bite something's throat i suggest looking at that mangy rat you call a son, it would truly better everyone's time." his voice snarled out, the protective posture he had over the child not lessening as he matched the cold stare he knew the queen would certainly be giving him but he held no fear of the idiotic brute. he wasn't exactly sure what possessed him to protect the kit but he knew he couldn't let it die without ever having had the chance to live, it was cruel beyond ollie's own mannerisms and he wouldn't, couldn't, allow it. his heterochromic eyes stared for a second longer before ripping the kit away from the warriors and pressing it into his chest - the most protective stature he knew how to give. he wasn't sure what he was going to do with it, how he could give it a fighting chance but he knew he would not allow it to meet it's end at the hands of some psychotic female who praised herself as some kind of hero. the creature whined loudly against his fur, screaming for things that he couldn't give it and his heart ached slightly; ollie was not a fan of children, he had never been but that... that didn't mean he could watch them die. "call me a traitor all you might but at least i'm not a monster by ending something that has never had the chance to live, if none of you are willing to open your black hearts to a little bit of mercy then i'll take it into my own. pitiful really, call me a cruel brat and it is i who is willing to show the most mercy to a helpless child."
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