Posts by Yaeger

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]Curiosity killed the cat. Many times throughout the course of history had such a saying been said, given a place between fable and reality which left it seemingly steeped in some sense of truth, lacking any evidence as it might, so why was it than curiosity and the sense of intrigue proved a core part of life? His own thirst for knowledge, to sate the heady desire to accumulate as much information as his mind might hold, was prominent and drove him through each day, often what bolstered the over inquisitive imagination, set about giving reason to the things he had yet to understand. Overall it was the cause for much of his travels, dragging him from the mountains of Skyclan which had done little beyond leave him humbled and sharpen the edge of fear which speared his heart, to enter the flat, windswept moors of Windclan. There he had found a home, a place to stay though he had thought it temporary at first, people he enjoyed the company of but still he wanted to move on, keep exploring as he might take each day with the graceless wonder of a child.

It was a rather simple reason as to why it was he had found himself traversing this land, steps light though the somewhat spongy earth trying to suck at his paws, to hold him in place as if the leaf litter and soggy earth sought to claim him as a prize. Within this place he sought something new, a chance to continue his exploration and to give more fuel to his desire, that intense thirst for knowledge, yet he had not quite found what he wanted.

Cast within a perpetual gloom it was a darkness he found a hate for, lips curling back from his teeth in what seemed a grimace, eyes widening as he took it in. Barely lightened by the sunlight he had become so accustomed to it still felt warm if a tad humid, the air wet, almost sticky as it filled his lungs, the soft drip of water filling his head below the twitter of birds. He felt tiny amongst the towering trees, already small within stature it as not an entirely pleasant feeling to be dwarfed in such a way, nervous setting in to leave his stomach twisting. Briefly the thought of leaving this place entered his head but he kept pushing on – within his fear battled with the tinge of excitement and curiosity that left his body to shudder slightly, the adrenaline that filled his system pushing him on.

From clenched teeth the gasp was drawn, the sharp breath ending in a cough as he tried to replace it, his attention set on the bones. He had experience with dragons – well, dragon – though he had no idea the broken skeleton had belong to such, simply it was massive, the beige tone to the bones bleached somewhat, areas showing ivory beneath the grim. Across the smooth surface his claws slipped, barely catching as he tried to pull himself up over the arch of bone, grumbled words escaping him, what they were well, you can guess the somewhat strange string of words he uttered.

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[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:8pt; text-align:justify; line-height: 140%; width:450px;]hey guys, retracking with this child and let's see if i can get him active or if my traumatize child in blizzard won't let my muse go, how i went from one severely traumatized child to two no one will know but for some reason they are the easiest to write

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]finally remembered why i don't use this style anymore, sorry if it makes no sense, this style is not meant to and i did it quickly so that probably doesn't help and yes, dan fc means nsp titles

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A soft lull, a pause within the endless stream of time which encompasses all, shallow and yet a raging storm refusing to admit to defeat – it seemed so rare to claim those moments of quiet peace, to let it all fall away. He had left this place around a week ago seeking solitude, a place he might linger without worry and simply let his mind wander, take in what it might.

So why had he returned, allowed his steps to draw him over the ragged terrain – what was he doing here?

The question was hard, sharp edges dragging across his thoughts and leaving gaping holes in any explanation he might try to form to fill that empty space, nothing fitting quite right, lacking some quantity of reality he needed. He had thought he was done with this place, had left it as he had those within Skyclan, but somehow it proved different, a familiar sense of comfort he could not do without. It had been nothing more than desire, an abstract need that had touched his heart and driven him from the humid jungle, familiar to him now as the moors were for his short time there. Maybe it would be different this time, possibly his time spent in this place would not be as harsh and he might allow himself the freedom of happiness, to let the selfish undertone which coloured his actions to fade, nothing more than an idiotic means to shut himself away he had conducted.

A slow tread, the touch of the lengthy grasses trailing over sides and legs, each breath bordering on a gasp, others edging on a sigh encased in wonder – it all was the same as it had been the first time. Soft was the sound of bird song, bright and chipper if distant, broken as few raised their voices in those early hours, driven by the cold to other places, overlayed by the wind, a low moan blanketed the grumble of water. It was this last sound he latched onto, the loudest of them all though mostly buried, a familiar sight he enjoyed and he changed his path, following it towards its source.

Lax within its current as always a sigh rose as he looked down at the stream, fighting against his urge to put his paw into the flow of water, to try and pluck a rock from its bed, instead turning to the bridge. Though his weight was slight, given his age it was not too surprising though his weight had teetered on the edge of unhealthy, almost where he seemed starved, the old broads creaked as he moved over it. Even so close the sound if not enough to cover the chatter, sounds of life he had missed, bringing forth the curve of a smile, bright and given to a silly grin as the child quickened his pace.

It was strange being back here, his gaze set upon the cluster of wooden structures, catching on those who wandered about them with little care to leave their steps leaden, but something within him proved happy – though his time here had been short the first time it had become a home in some ways.

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[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:8pt; text-align:justify; line-height: 140%; width:450px;]the fact he is already a youtuber as danny is his faceclaim makes me laugh, why i don't know, but just following along to see everyone else

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]the embodiment of the void, a god of space and time and various stars have been here, i think an angel will be fine, but in saying that yae here is a 'star', very loose term since i need to figure out an actual name for his kind, the fact i tore apart dwarves and made a whole new species for them and not figured out exactly what yae is i will never understand

fuck i forgot i wanted to redo the rock dogs as well, how my head world is so far along to start having a history when so many species have basics, a few towns have been figured out and already i am starting on a new people when i have shoved aside my dwarf replacement along with the gods for the moment i will never know

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:11.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;font-family:calibri]i hate tags so much but i got them done and so little on him changed though hopefully this age jump will help, i keep thinking of him as an adult in any case so it should help

it does seem love tends to go on top when really it doesn't much matter, my own point i don't much care for love in a relationship, if i can respect and put my trust in someone and have the same of them than i find it is best that way as love can become hate too easily, though that might be helped along by the fact i am aro

as it is i don't really have much for him, i am possibly reworking a few plotlines but the abusive relationship is one i want to play with so it would go well for him though i am curious how yae might handle it in the end as he is hard pressed to hate someone and might try to make things better but if pushed too far he could easily despise someone & i am all good with an interaction thread, i don't often jump into the relationship if possible since slow burn is fun but i am fine if we do it slow or go right through, this is going to be rather interesting going off how yaeger experiences love and views relationships

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General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Desero | Yae
[size=5pt]•[/size] trans masculine | aromantic asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] trainee of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 87%
— deep brown and red flame point; dark blue eyes
— small; underweight because of bad eating habits and is upon the short side
— walks with a noticeable hitch; an uneven roll to his step, prohibits strenuous activity for long periods of time
— somewhat blackened and badly healed scar; starts over the right shoulder blade to end over the throat, infected while healing which has left the skin in a somewhat bad condition
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] predominately his own character with some inspiration
— Genji Shimada [15%] personal [35%]
[size=5pt]•[/size] kindly, generous, imaginative, forward, somewhat blund
[size=5pt]•[/size] quiet, self contained, adaptable, stubborn
[size=5pt]•[/size] self destructive, struggling, emotionally damaged, spiteful
[size=5pt]•[/size] it has become increasingly hard to form a proper friendship, most are kept at arms length and given only a small ounce of his trust

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | moderate mentally | attack in bold #616A7A
[size=5pt]•[/size] never starts a fight | if the chance arises will run | if given the upper hand will show mercy
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]“Rather humble aren’t you,” the words poured forth wrapped in the lilting tone of soft laughter, bubbling along the edges to leave only a faint tone of humourless mocking. Yet it seemed out of place when matched with the look which touched the soft features, haggard and drawn now, the eyes heavy as he had gotten little sleep. From the shaky smile barely clinging to his cracked lips it seemed wrong for the words to sit, bitter on the tongue but he forced them out, setting his sight upon Greypaw for he was the one the comment was intended for.

Increasingly rare had it been for him to dare venture forth from the confinements of the moors, the tall grass a pleasantry he refused to give up for much time, letting his worries and memories collide, taking over though his sluggish thoughts couldn’t quite keep up anymore. He couldn’t say why he had let himself leave it, venturing into the heart of the village with no real intent in mind, simply moving for the sake of it, stretching muscles that protested faintly. The rolling hitch present in his step had made his progress slow and finding the trio had been something he had not planned for though some sense of curiosity had driven him closer, hobbling faintly now as his body sought to rest.

Heavily he fell, rearranging himself so he might sit and give himself a chance to rest. “Don’t think we’ve met, I’m Yaeger.” The trainee offered a faint smile towards Eliza, all he could muster without it feeling stretched, false as it split his cracked lips, unsure if he should ask for her name. It had been too long since he had last done this, much too long since he had last let himself be swept up in pleasant small talk or truly hold an interaction with no point beyond introduction and basic fact.

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General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae
[size=5pt]•[/size] trans masculine | aromantic asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] trainee of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 87%
— deep brown and red flame point; dark blue eyes
— small; underweight because of bad eating habits and is upon the short side
— walks with a noticeable hitch; an uneven roll to his step, prohibits strenuous activity for long periods of time
— somewhat blackened and badly healed scar; starts over the right shoulder blade to end over the throat, infected while healing which has left the skin in a somewhat bad condition
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] predominately his own character with some inspiration
— Genji Shimada [15%] personal [35%]
[size=5pt]•[/size] kindly, generous, imaginative, forward, somewhat blund
[size=5pt]•[/size] quiet, self contained, adaptable, stubborn
[size=5pt]•[/size] self destructive, struggling, emotionally damaged, spiteful
[size=5pt]•[/size] it has become increasingly hard to form a proper friendship, most are kept at arms length and given only a small ounce of his trust

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | moderate mentally | attack in bold #616A7A
[size=5pt]•[/size] never starts a fight | if the chance arises will run | if given the upper hand will show mercy
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]Social interaction held no attraction for him as it seemed to for many others, there was no comfort or warmth in small talking, in allowing select information to slip through – it was daunting, to allow the thought that a single slip up, a word misplaced, might lead to disaster he could not return from. Rather quickly he had forced himself to learn how to be happy, to find a sense of peace and contentment within the quiet of solitude, but time eroded even that thin creature comfort, left it lacking and whimsically pathetic. And yet he had endured it, silent as the screams built inside, growing to such an intensity he could not quite hold them, finding a few caught behind his teeth when he woke.

It had been a long and tiresome road filled with potholes and regret but he had found his way, slowly permitted an acceptance of others and found some ounce of joy in the presence of another. Still it was daunting, an edge to each interaction, to the simple words he might offer to another, yet they were lighter now, no longer razor blades cutting into his throat and scoring his lips, ash thick in his mouth, they were soft laughs and quiet murmurs he finally felt he could give with no worry.

Still it seemed strange even to him to perform this, to gather together the things he needed for this night, cast within the heart of the village beneath a sky speckled with stars. The process had been a gruelling one as he had sought blankets and pillows so those who joined might be comfortable and warm, the chill of the night growing as the month progressed, hinting at winter which patiently waited for its turn. Within the very centre sat a fire, small for the moment, a ring of stones set to contain it as best it might, twigs and small sticks bundled together, waiting for heavier logs. Around this fire pit a rather haphazard circle had been formed of various materials and pillows amongst which various things could be found, from large bowls containing all manner of sweet treats along with fresh kill for those who wanted it.

All seemed well, set in its place and yet the dark thing caught in his gut only clawed at him, hissing as it struggled to control him, the first brush of anxiety – the tingling numbness, the quickness which caught his breath, the steady thrum of worry which tore at his thought – raising all at once. “Anyone know any scary stories? Or… just wanna talk?” The words wavered, loose and unsure yet somehow Yaeger forced them forth, the curl to his lips a genuine smile though it was small. He had done it even as his fear bubbling within, sought to claim him, and he would push through no matter what he had to do.

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General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae
[size=5pt]•[/size] trans masculine | aromantic asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] trainee of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 87%
— deep brown and red flame point; dark blue eyes
— small; underweight because of bad eating habits and is upon the short side
— walks with a noticeable hitch; an uneven roll to his step, prohibits strenuous activity for long periods of time
— somewhat blackened and badly healed scar; starts over the right shoulder blade to end over the throat, infected while healing which has left the skin in a somewhat bad condition
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] predominately his own character with some inspiration
— Genji Shimada [15%] personal [35%]
[size=5pt]•[/size] kindly, generous, imaginative, forward, somewhat blund
[size=5pt]•[/size] quiet, self contained, adaptable, stubborn
[size=5pt]•[/size] self destructive, struggling, emotionally damaged, spiteful
[size=5pt]•[/size] it has become increasingly hard to form a proper friendship, most are kept at arms length and given only a small ounce of his trust

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | moderate mentally | attack in bold #616A7A
[size=5pt]•[/size] never starts a fight | if the chance arises will run | if given the upper hand will show mercy
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]Excitement fought with the fear which curled in the pit of his stomach, his smile only growing that bit wider as his gaze settled upon the two. He had not allowed it through but the worry that none might seek to join him had been there, gnawing on the edge of is thoughts, trying to break through and push him back to solitude, to the loneliness he was slowly coming to despise.

“Oh – uh they don’t have to be scary, just thought it would be good with Halloween soon, we could tell all sorts of stories,” the words poured forth in a jumbled mess, little more than a breathless squeak. While he was one who harboured a certain love for horror and the tales which could be woven with such in mind he had seemingly forgotten others didn’t hold his own feelings, more prone to fear and discomfort which he no wish to any to feel. “Hello Eliza, it’s alright, you don’t need to tell a story if you don’t want to.” Much calmer this time he turned towards the one in question, offering her the shaky smile, unsure now as he wondered at how to begin.

There was no warning, a simple utterance of apology before the flame point was gone, steps dragging him on in as quick a pace his hobbling step permitted. Into one of the cabins he slipped, a sudden flare of light all that marked his presence until sound rose – muffled was it, the sudden yelp of pain as something crashed, the muttered string of words amongst the shuffle of objects. For a few long minutes this continued, the sounds growing louder as his search became frantic, until the light was gone and the door was left to swing shut.

Yaeger’s pace was much slower this time as he returned to the small fire, a heavy book seemingly bound in what seemed to be fake leather, cracking and dusty for it had been made to look old though it had been around for only as long as he had, golden letters scrawled across its cover. It flapped and the pages rustled as he moved, shifting in his unsure grasp until he finally was able to put it down, pushing it towards Daisypaw and Eliza. “How about this one? I haven’t read it before and I can’t say the title…” His tone seemed sheepish as he admitted the last portion – no matter how hard he tried he could not make his tongue form the sound properly, slipping away before he could quite get it.

The heavy golden script was stylized to such a point it was hard to make out, flakes taken from it only making it that much harder to read, though it seemed clear by the figure which crouched beneath, face split within a grin, what it was – Mister Babadook.

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General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae
[size=5pt]•[/size] trans masculine | aromantic asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] trainee of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 87%
— deep brown and red flame point; dark blue eyes
— small; underweight because of bad eating habits and is upon the short side
— walks with a noticeable hitch; an uneven roll to his step, prohibits strenuous activity for long periods of time
— somewhat blackened and badly healed scar; starts over the right shoulder blade to end over the throat, infected while healing which has left the skin in a somewhat bad condition
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] predominately his own character with some inspiration
— Genji Shimada [15%] personal [35%]
[size=5pt]•[/size] kindly, generous, imaginative, forward, somewhat blund
[size=5pt]•[/size] quiet, self contained, adaptable, stubborn
[size=5pt]•[/size] self destructive, struggling, emotionally damaged, spiteful
[size=5pt]•[/size] it has become increasingly hard to form a proper friendship, most are kept at arms length and given only a small ounce of his trust

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | moderate mentally | attack in bold #616A7A
[size=5pt]•[/size] never starts a fight | if the chance arises will run | if given the upper hand will show mercy
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]with his overhaul finished up and having left me with motivation to actually write him so i wanted to start working on his relationships with others and play with his overall dislike towards social interaction as he doesn't like others knowing much about him when possible. please excuse me if i don't reply for a few days, the end of the year is really busy and i overwork myself a lot so stress and worry gets to me extremely easily so i will sometimes drop off to recover for a few days, either way i'll do my best to keep up with threads when i have the time

basic information can be found in his tags but if you want anymore feel free to ask, i'm happy to supply it and last of all, please don't offer interaction threads unless you're prepared for them to be open, i lose interest in private threads with only interaction, even if it is just exploration a central point is necessary for private threads if possible

closed to;
- death
- rape/litters, overall just really any sexual interaction
- maim/severe injury, in spar or training it is alright and will be deemed accidental, this is only for injury made with the intent to do serious damage
- love, while short flings are alright he is aromantic and thus has no care for nor understanding of what romantic love is and anything will be platonic on his end at all times

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General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae
[size=5pt]•[/size] trans masculine | aromantic asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] trainee of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 87%
— deep brown and red flame point; dark blue eyes
— small; underweight because of bad eating habits and is upon the short side
— walks with a noticeable hitch; an uneven roll to his step, prohibits strenuous activity for long periods of time
— somewhat blackened and badly healed scar; starts over the right shoulder blade to end over the throat, infected while healing which has left the skin in a somewhat bad condition
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] predominately his own character with some inspiration
— Genji Shimada [15%] personal [35%]
[size=5pt]•[/size] kindly, generous, imaginative, forward, somewhat blund
[size=5pt]•[/size] quiet, self contained, adaptable, stubborn
[size=5pt]•[/size] self destructive, struggling, emotionally damaged, spiteful
[size=5pt]•[/size] it has become increasingly hard to form a proper friendship, most are kept at arms length and given only a small ounce of his trust

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | moderate mentally | attack in bold #616A7A
[size=5pt]•[/size] never starts a fight | if the chance arises will run | if given the upper hand will show mercy
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]i promise you there is so little that bothers or disturbs me any more and i make sure it is clear when it does, i am done with others brushing aside how i feel but there are only one or two things that really get to that point anymore, more just me being an ass when it comes to certain things

you don’t know how much that means to me, ah i am tearing up again, it is way too late to do this but a positive reaction is something i love to see since i want to make poly relationships more common as does any who is poly, feels strange to finally admit yeah i am poly, but then never have i seen those who are aro welcomed in, to permitted to be in a relationship which could be defined as romantic because there is the lack of that attraction. the fact romance is put above platonic love is a kick in the gut most days and i am just done with being thought of as something not worthy of love, my boys are important to me and seeing them accepted only makes it that much more wonderful

everything cry said is wonderful advice but i want to say don’t do what i did, it fucked me over extremely hard and i am still trying to break the habit since i sometimes still slip into it, always go at your own pace, i was pushed into it and forced to think i had to do something with my writing or it was a worthless skill i should give up on thanks to my parents, i was lucky i was able to learn to love writing again though sometimes even that isn’t quite enough

sorry if i seem angry, not doing well right now, let some thoughts get in i shouldn’t have and i’m gonna go to bed, if i don’t come on for the next few days i hope you all have a wonderful day or night, and nothing is wrong, just need some time to think and figure this thing out before depression catches me again

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]i was meant to be doing productive things but instead decided to ruin things and am now writing a drabble to work with how yaeger experiences and act when mourning cause of course i had to give someone cancer and make it ruin him which somehow bled over and became little dialogue pieces for his tags

while he does seem to have a lot of short comings he is a really good character, the planning here seems so silly and light hearted but to see you write him is wonderful and how well you handle the poor guy, for all the years i've been on this site and surrounding myself with writers so i could learn i have only ever met a handful of people so skilled at portraying such a personality well and you're definitely one of them chum. i'm curious what else you have in store for vincent and crack babies, just who are these crack babies with and how many cause now i am seeing a swarm of just these weird, mismatched baboos swarming poor vincent

eli is just an utter dick and i love him, i want to see this so badly since eli in the background distracting vincent with probably some things no one wants to see is would be funny to see though i don't imagine eliza would take it that well

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 29/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"i-i'm scared, i don't want to die, i c-can't lose you, not again..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 56%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— breaking down somewhat though seems to be patching things up, easier to talk to and somewhat more open
— very quiet and self contained, secretive, despises speaking about himself, holds self destructive tendencies, most based on forgetfulness
— nurturing, timid and hard to trust, thoughtful, kind, at times blunt
— socially inept, easily flustered and distracted, unsure, moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"you're not going anywhere and neither am i... i love you so much"[/fancypost]

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]Might it have been a simplistic or else easy task to allow those walls to crumble, for those false, stretched smiles to fade and permit the soft touch of love to lighten his heart – but nothing could have been harder, pushed to the limits of impossibility, a place of its own where it was unreachable. Time left it to worsen, heavy and sickening as within his chest it settled, a stone pressed atop him, a heavy ache bound in a loneliness he could not be rid of no matter those he sought out, surrounding himself with those for only a taste of something else.

But had he not been was she was now, feeling the flicker of joy and a bright warmth, a love born from a mixture of respect and familiarity, a comfort found in only a few select places where the heart lingered even as the body moved, felt the walls he surrounded himself with shake, threaten to crack if not fall? It seemed far away now though it hadn’t been, not truly, the warmth of this place still left him tingling, a smile easier if a little less shaky, the gentle sense of belonging something he clung to as if his life was dependent on how long he could hold it.

By no means would he so readily give this place the title of home, it had not reached that point, but it was familiar ground, one similar if not quite there, yet he revealed in seeing another happy, watched the slow curl of a smile, so like a piece of paper curling in fire, there for only a short time before it is gone. He was happy within this place though it was not a home, it was enough, however.

There is a falter to his steps, the slow trudge growing worse, paws dragging somewhat as his thoughts dissipate. She is unfamiliar to him, a figure given only a fuzzy shape not entirely defined – the sudden burst of surprise twists his thoughts, leave them reeling as he wonders at what to do. He had been here long enough to know the procedure, to question those who so willing seemed to set themselves upon this land, though he was unsure now, claws working into the loose soil. This was no home to him, but a stopover in the journey of his life if he must give it a name, yet the need to protect it was still there, a heavy desire which curled his stomach.

“Uh- Hello.” The voice is soft, faltering as his tongue struggles to form the simple sounds, his stance proving rigid forces himself to approach yet the set of his shoulders, the soft curl of a frown, speak of the fear which boils beneath his skin. Of a smaller stature he is dwarfed by the tiger, much too easily so, and he can not help the sudden fear nor the envy which comes along with it. "C-Can I have your name and purpose, please."

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 29/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"i-i'm scared, i don't want to die, i c-can't lose you, not again..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 56%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— breaking down somewhat though seems to be patching things up, easier to talk to and somewhat more open
— very quiet and self contained, secretive, despises speaking about himself, holds self destructive tendencies, most based on forgetfulness
— nurturing, timid and hard to trust, thoughtful, kind, at times blunt
— socially inept, easily flustered and distracted, unsure, moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"you're not going anywhere and neither am i... i love you so much"[/fancypost]

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]i love them both and just, stop it with these wonderful ideas, i love them all too much

chum no, stop that, you do not breath with your ass it is where your emotions come from and yes i watched game grumps today, friggin barry and brian's talk about emotions coming from the ass & i love eli and vinny so much, they are so damn weird and have no clue what the hell they are doing, it is perfect

is it wrong i am so prepared to scrap the new years transformation, do birthday instead so it is a lot closer cause fucking november is tomorrow and that means twenty-seven damn days til this ass is somehow nineteen all because i want the grouchy, tired dad yaeger? while he'd still have problems with anxiety, stress, anger, insomnia and all that wonderful stuff cause he is basically me in every way with problems he is so done and tired, depression can suck it, anxiety will be left six feet under, what the fuck is stress, just give me coffee, let me read or get ready for him to tear you a new one. tired, done with it all dad yaeger is the best cause he still cares and is maternal but is so much more protective and likely would be the ass constantly trying to separate eli and vinny cause nope, this is so cheesy and bad, must teach them before they are allowed anywhere near each other or one of them is going in a lake

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 29/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"i-i'm scared, i don't want to die, i c-can't lose you, not again..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 56%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— breaking down somewhat though seems to be patching things up, easier to talk to and somewhat more open
— very quiet and self contained, secretive, despises speaking about himself, holds self destructive tendencies, most based on forgetfulness
— nurturing, timid and hard to trust, thoughtful, kind, at times blunt
— socially inept, easily flustered and distracted, unsure, moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"you're not going anywhere and neither am i... i love you so much"[/fancypost]

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]i love this though cause just, the ass is literally just a mass of shadow with no defined shape and fuck i am thinking of it like those pin boards where you push them down to make a shape, what if vincent just slammed his face against the shadow booty and there is an imprint of his face, yaeger would have no idea cause fucking ass, he has no eyes back there, and ends up walking around with vincent's face right on his ass

THIS IS WHY I AM NOT ALLOWED NICE THINGS I RUIN THEM BUT I LOVE THIS

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 29/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"i-i'm scared, i don't want to die, i c-can't lose you, not again..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 56%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— breaking down somewhat though seems to be patching things up, easier to talk to and somewhat more open
— very quiet and self contained, secretive, despises speaking about himself, holds self destructive tendencies, most based on forgetfulness
— nurturing, timid and hard to trust, thoughtful, kind, at times blunt
— socially inept, easily flustered and distracted, unsure, moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"you're not going anywhere and neither am i... i love you so much"[/fancypost]

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]he does have feeling as the shadow is more a covering than anything, it replaced the skin and a bit of the muscle but some muscle structure is still there along with bone but you'd actually have to touch the muscle for him to feel anything which is hard as the shadow mimics the thickness of his fur which is extreme, he is a fluffy mess, his tail is pretty much shadow as well so you could literally do anything with it as it is solid to a degree but no feeling, put bows in it and make him pretty

this is so weird to think about cause he'd likely not feel anything if he slept with someone either, he'd likely be reading while the other went at it, get bored, forget they were there and roll over to go to sleep to the muffled cries of his partner being crushed beneath the giant ass

i love how chum and me are being so damn ridiculous and just this wonderful, angst filled plot is coming through with you two, i love this so much but please tell me lirim and caleb get at least a little bit of happiness sometime, they need it so badly

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 29/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"i-i'm scared, i don't want to die, i c-can't lose you, not again..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 56%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— breaking down somewhat though seems to be patching things up, easier to talk to and somewhat more open
— very quiet and self contained, secretive, despises speaking about himself, holds self destructive tendencies, most based on forgetfulness
— nurturing, timid and hard to trust, thoughtful, kind, at times blunt
— socially inept, easily flustered and distracted, unsure, moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"you're not going anywhere and neither am i... i love you so much"[/fancypost]

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]but than would this be before or after transformation, i am thinking of doing a break down thread as the soul begins to bleed out and it would allow part of the original state to come through as a lot of how he is now is because of the soul of the mortal, each new birth the mortal section contained is basically wiped clean but having those two mix would cause an utter break down with how different they are, they are incompatible and likely might lead to intrusive and suicidal thoughts since i might make the original stronger and become a voice in his head until the full transformation

shit i feel so mean for this since i love the ridiculousness but how it is all going to come about is extremely dangerous and hard for yaeger, it is literally tearing apart his life force and giving it two segments which will lead to severe physical and mental problems as they struggle to reconnect and become one so he'd need to either destroy the mortal or memini half, though he could simply give it to another as well, or contain one and let it simply grow and become another memini if he so wanted. he'd have a little will-o-wisp following him around, the voice of reason he no longer has, a comfort but it tears at him to know it is part of him he lost, that this is yaeger, he is nothing more than a mask to the memini now, a name he never owned only stole from a child who deserved better

oh gods that would be hilarious, though now it makes me wonder, he can open portals between realms as he acted as a guide to souls and thus would need access to reach realm and dimension, but one being in the ass, i kinda want that to happen now. also really tempted to have yaeger with female hyena anatomy in terms of genitals, he would be unfuckable unless he wanted it, also would be a dick and tease vinny that he was bigger even if it is just cause his overall size it has to be big enough to actually work

just the mass of wonderful writers and plotters here is wonderful to see, all the ideas come together so well and you have the light hearted ridiculousness to calm things down but than you get hit by the angst and wonderful mellow periods, there is a reason i love this clan and it has become my favourite of all of them

if i missed any posts sorry, i am only skimming since i need to go shower while i have the chance

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 29/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"i-i'm scared, i don't want to die, i c-can't lose you, not again..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 56%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— breaking down somewhat though seems to be patching things up, easier to talk to and somewhat more open
— very quiet and self contained, secretive, despises speaking about himself, holds self destructive tendencies, most based on forgetfulness
— nurturing, timid and hard to trust, thoughtful, kind, at times blunt
— socially inept, easily flustered and distracted, unsure, moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"you're not going anywhere and neither am i... i love you so much"[/fancypost]

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]or maybe i will not be showering, for the one who has to keep this house clean and does all the laundry i skimp a lot on doing my own

why did i go into fandom tags without safe search on again, i should have learnt from the witcher but nope, i can't find many bonnie, sister location is dominating still, but if i can find any i'll chuck em up

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 29/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"i-i'm scared, i don't want to die, i c-can't lose you, not again..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: one year | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan and Shadowclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 56%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: none

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— breaking down somewhat though seems to be patching things up, easier to talk to and somewhat more open
— very quiet and self contained, secretive, despises speaking about himself, holds self destructive tendencies, most based on forgetfulness
— nurturing, timid and hard to trust, thoughtful, kind, at times blunt
— socially inept, easily flustered and distracted, unsure, moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"you're not going anywhere and neither am i... i love you so much"[/fancypost]

[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:10.4px;text-align:justify;width;320px;line-height:130%;]Help me.

Bitter, heavy, left to encase all it touched within a heavy layer which proved cloying, sticking though he tried to remove it – such were those simple words, a cry which lingered in his chest, seeking to be freed only to catch behind the cage of his teeth. For how long the words had lingered there, an unwilling prisoner he and it sought to free, he could say with no certainty how much time had accumulated for such, how many hours – years – he had sought assistance but had proven too fearful to ask for it. Within the slow curl of his thoughts he voiced i readily, given life where it might linger, a murmur amongst it all, a crushing weight which sought to devour him.

And it was frustrating. All of it fell within such a place where anger seemed his only response, heavy as it seemed a fire caught in his head, burning through his heart no matter what he tried not good enough, don’t deserve to live to eradicate it, to be freed of that heaviness. He knew only one thing might give him the key to the gilded cage he had been left in, but he was scared why are you still here? for what is a coward but one who shies away, given to moments of weakness where strength flees?

Life had torn him apart, had disassembled the minimal pieces he had been allowed to hold onto only to reassemble them into a mere shadow of how he had been, an imperfect replica a monster who lived only for a child to die, his face now the one he wore, a mask tied with fraying ribbon. Just what made him so much better than that of an innocent life blood on his hands, can’t wash it away who had everything before him, what had left a soul as old and broken as he more suited to life?

An empty question he cried over and over, given voice where his own pleas might never be given the same treatment, but left only to echo, nothing left to him in return.

Truly he was undeserving, unwilling to continue, never enough for a life he had stolen, but he was forced on. He knew he could not think all too deeply on it, that this was little more than a punishment for the acts he had so willing performed, a collar set about his throat made from gold yet still heavy, crushing. Or, at least… it seemed like it.

No, he had to stop this, could not let the thoughts control him anymore. With a sharp shake of his head he tried to push it aside, to let it all go but it seemed an impossibility, lingering over the edge of his thoughts, gathering together within small bubbles of thoughts which took his mind, madness given a structure he might comprehend.

Long nights when the loneliness crept in, a hard, chilling weight pressing atop his chest, constricting each breath, hard to get out and raising in only a faint whisper of air, had become standard, many left contained to his thoughts. This one seemed no different, his body shifting slightly as he tried to move his thoughts to a different place, paws scraping along the book he held before him, crinkling as it bent. With careful movements he smoothed it out once more, a frown curled over his lips as he tried once more to focus, but his attention refused to settle, the words lifting from the pages, birds taking flight to a place he could not follow.

Upon the page he pressed his forehead, a soft sigh stirring the edge somewhat. For too long it had gone on like this, each thought contained within a subject he had no wish to broach, kept private for he was but a child to them. Heh, it was strange to him now, to be viewed as the child he had unwilling killed. It had been only a few months after he had been given life, so young and harmless, given to a soft warmth and gentle kindness bound in the innocence only youth might gift, unknowing the pain which tore at his chest was the one who controlled him now. But faint remnants, faded memories which trailed through his mind, contained in the mess of the few dreams he could recall – that was all that reminded of the one he had taken.

By virtue of actions he had no control over it was his choice, it always was his choice another had to die simply so he could live. It had seemed an impossibility at first, each thought framed about it, trying to deny it all, but time had shown him otherwise. A frustrated sigh rose and he pushed the book aside, forcing himself to sit up, muscles straining as he moved much too quickly, locked into place from where he had been laying for a good bit of time.

He couldn’t keep pretending yet it had been so long now it seemed second nature though some portion of himself seemed to fall for the lie, to readily consider himself the one who went by the name Yaeger though he was nothing like its original holder – he was but a shadow of it, assembled with the pieces that remained. Possibly it was time to remove the mask, to let it fall away and show who he truly was, or he might keep it, let it cover the one who hide inside. It was a tantalizing thought, to keep going, to be one suited to this life as he wasn’t, but he knew he could never be who he wanted to be.

Bitter was the laughter which broke through his lips and finally he seemed to register the wetness which streaked his cheeks, the hiccups which broke apart his uneven breath between the titter of laughter. With a harsh stroke he rubbed at his cheeks, smearing the moisture along his face. Within a similar fashion he finally noticed the sudden wetness which coated his chest, yet this was sticky as his paw touched it, much too thick to be blood. Pulling away he found his paw coated within a substance which he could only liken with tar – thick and slimy, given a black colour yet the sheen held a multitude of colour, dripping from his paw.

“Oh no…” The words were nothing more than a soft gasp, breaking apart as the sobs tore through him, a heavy tremor setting about him, each breath a strangled gasp. He could feel the muscle and flesh pull, tearing as what had seemed to be scar tissue parted, more of the blackened substance left to dribble down his chest. Slow steps dragged, claws scraping along the wooden floor boards, old hinges groaning as he forced the door open. It felt strange to be in this situation, while it had been but one of many times he had been caught in such a situation yet always had he been alone, left to suffer within silence.

“Please… Help…” The words were but a soft croak drawn from cracked lips, his steps faltering as he approached the step upon which he should never have stepped – already he could feel his joints lock as the trembling worsened, his body trying to stop him from going on, risk worsening the wound cast across throat and shoulder, but it was not enough. Upon the old wood his paw was set but it was once he tried to perform the next movement, his weight unbalanced for only a few moments, he came tumbling down.

Everything hurt. Fire seemed to burn within his chest and yet he could do nothing but simply lay there, trying to calm his breathing even as he pressed his paws to his throat, trying to stem the flow of blood.

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:7.2pt; width:450px][align=left][spoiler=updated 31/10][fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:9.7px;text-align:justify;width:370px;line-height:130%;]
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px]"I don't deserve a happy ending so why..."[/fancypost]
General
[size=5pt]•[/size] Yaeger Memini | Yae | trans masculine
[size=5pt]•[/size] aromantic | asexual | largely uninterested
[size=5pt]•[/size] [i]physical: thirteen months | actual: unknown | October first
[size=5pt]•[/size] member of Windclan | former Skyclanner

Appearance
[size=5pt]•[/size] DOMESTIC FELINE [birth] | health: 48%
— red and brown flame point; extremely dark blue eyes
— small; clearly underweight and of small stature, unhealthy weight hidden by his fur which he is thankful for
— single scar; somewhat blackened and in a bad state, trails over the right shoulder blade and over the throat cutting upwards towards the jaw, strangely the taint in the skin seems to be spreading
— fur seems to give off faint wisps of smoke
— walks with a noticeable hitch, a roll in the step that makes prolonged activity hard
— injuries: ...

Nature
[size=5pt]•[/size] original character; no current inspirations
— very clearly breaking down, distraught and finding it harder to pretend, somethings wrong
— struggling, everything is a facade, broken yet still trying, self destructive
— extremely quiet, retreating further into himself, forgetful, submissive, scared
— nurturing, timid, socially inept, unsure, extremely moody

Confrontation
[size=5pt]•[/size] moderate psychically | easy mentally | attack in bold black
[size=5pt]•[/size] unlikely to start a fight | unlikely to end a fight | prepared, if unwilling, to kill
[size=5pt]•[/size] can powerplay peaceful or non-violent acts; not recommended
— injury determined by random number generator; minor, moderate, major
[fancypost bgcolor=;border:0px;font-size:8.8px;text-align:center;width:350px; margin-bottom:-5px; margin-top:8px][i]"Why do I want one so badly if it means I can see you happy?"[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0;font-size:8pt; text-align:justify; line-height: 140%; width:450px;]/lays down
gonna be in and out, doing memini species sheet cause fucking yes must i torment myself, now to try and explain everything