Posts by addercry

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]"what are you kits even doing out here?" adderpaw would ask as he joined up with the others. he sighed at the sight of not one, not two, but three kittens out of camp. why couldn't queens keep their spawn in check? one day they were going to get taken. the scratch on goldenkit's cheek was nothing compared to what a rogue or loner might do to a trio of defenseless kids.

the apprentice had half a mind to scold his younger clanmates, but decided against it. they weren't his children. whatever happened to them was on their parents, not him. if someone needed to be blamed he'd gladly point in aphrodite's direction. in his mind, she had responsibility of them since she saw them first.

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]adderpaw was rarely one to associate himself with the kits of the clan. kittens made him uncomfortable and he would rather talk with someone who could hold up an intelligent conversation. foxkit, however, was hard to miss. olive optics observed the kit's actions as she bit onto another's tail much like a dog. the apprentice couldn't help the nostalgic smile spreading upon his maw. he recalled being in the nursery and terrorizing the other clan members in similar ways.

it was this initial similarity that drove him to approach the gaggle of not-yet-apprentices. at least stormypaw was there to even out numbers a little more. adder looked down to the younger members, tail swishing behind him in a metronomic wave. he didn't an audible greeting, instead opting to sit just out of reach of any in the gathered group.

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]he had seen it coming. in truth, they probably all did. it wasn't as shocking as it should have been to hear her utter those words. if anything, he felt numb to the whole event. it was a sense of underwhelm that wasn't disappointment nor failure to meet expectations. he couldn't explain it.

adderpaw was there for the rise and, now, the fall of dapplestar. in her brief reign, the tom had learned a lot from her. he went on his first raid with her where she unknowingly taught him to speak out against disorder. following in her footsteps had led him to criticize the shadowclan leader herself. he learned to fight for his beliefs even against those with authority. maybe it wasn't the best trait to pick up, but he was proud of it all the same.

dapple had always been a figure he looked up to. their total time together was short, almost nonexistent outside of missions. still he found some form of comfort knowing she was in his life somewhat. losing his mother had been a difficult time for the boy. seeing her give so much love to her kits - biological and adopted - let him know that at least others had parents looking out for them. it was an idea he found solace in. his respect for the bengal only grew as she was decided to be his mentor. he learned important ideals from her; confidence in how he looked outside, pride in what he thought inside, and determination to work for what he valued.

something always happened though. in another, less fortunate similarity, he never got an up without a down. the higher one climbed, the harder they fell. dapple, too, was a perfectly good example of that. no matter what she did it seemed that the ugly face of despair lurked around the corner. death, betrayal, loss. the burden she carried with her was heavy. that was clear no matter how much she tried to hide it. the outbursts and the meltdowns. so many had left her. and now it was time for her to leave them.

"i will be stepping down as the leader of thunderclan." the statement was empty, the syllables hollow to his ears. adder had been waiting for this. inside he already knew this to be the outcome of all the chaos, yet hearing it verified didn't settle the turmoil within him. ever since she received her lives, dapplestar had been plagued with adversity. losing sunningrocks had been a big blow. it was a hit that led to her capture. after that she had never been the same.

he was there to bring her home, there to offer silent comfort and provide a shoulder to lean on if needed. when his olive eyes first saw the nearing form, he hadn't noticed who it was. the femme had been nothing but bones. her eye was gone, her spirit along with it. after registering that it was their leader, he didn't want to believe it. she looked so tired and strung that if misery could take a form she very well could have been it. they took her home. they never really got dapplestar back though.

since that point on, everything had just gotten so much worse. first larkkit, then the storm. everywhere dapple turned was misfortune waiting to pounce. time had finally taken its toll on the silver she, left her broken and mangled and incapable of so many things. the rest of her life had been forcibly seized from her, pushing her into an early retirement. he could only hope now she could get some rest.

as much as he wanted to reject her decision, the apprentice could not. this was her choice, and hers alone. even he could see she was no longer fit. she could hardly walk. how would she protect them in battle? how would she train him? adderpaw's reluctance to accept what was happening fizzled away. she deserved to step down. she had gone through too much.

there were other emotions boiling within him at the time. most prominent was selfishness. he didn't want her to step down. he wanted dapplestar, not nightstar. he wanted to continue training under the leader. the boy did his best to suffocate these thoughts, tried to push them down where he kept everything he wanted to forget. this was a sad time for everyone, not just him. dapple didn't need his pettiness right now.

with the giving up of everything she worked so hard for, adderpaw couldn't help but mourn with her. she was his idol, one of the only cats he'd interacted with, however brief that may have been. she taught him, developed him, did so much for him that he'd never be able to repay. and now she was resigning. just like that. his leader and his mentor ripped from him just like that all because of some freak accident that never should have happened. the van huffed. not just air, but everything. his anger, his grief, his regret. that seemed to calm the raging seas of overflowing feelings in his stomach. all that left with a weighted pit.

a feminine voice picked up from the crowd around him. his gaze shifted to the grey apprentice verbalizing her concerns, then back to dapple. adderpaw wanted to tell her that of course she would make it, that doubt was out of the question. unfortunately, he didn't believe that nearly as much as he had just weeks before. he wasn't sure what she could do anymore. she had died so many times already... reassurance was hard to find. no matter how much he dug and sought comfort in his own head, nothing changed. dapple could very well die on that trip. would that be better than living a life in the elders' den?

dapple still had a tough road ahead of her. she needed to make it all the way too the moonstone and back. then she would have to return to a life that wasn't her own. before he would have stated with confidence that she would be able to do it. at this point he wasn't even certain if she'd complete the trip. if she did come back to them, if she did live through her journey, he'd be there to help. nightcloud would be busy with his new position and she'd need someone there for her. after all she had given him, this was the least he could do to show his gratitude.

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]this palepaw's story was an interesting listen, one he could relate to for sure. much like the refugee apprentice, adderpaw had lost his family. first were his siblings. they'd been taken by his own naive foolishness as opposed to another. that was painful knowledge to bear even moons later. then his parents left without so much as a final goodbye. his father disappeared, then his mother vanished after him. he couldn't help but sympathize with the girl.

on another note, he was revolted by her choice in friends. bloodclan were not good cats. sure, maybe what she said was truth. maybe they actually were reasonable and friendly and whatever else she may have though. that didn't give them a pass in his book. no, after what they had done to dapplestar there would be no redemption for them. every last cat in that clan deserved to bleed. "respect their traditions? they have no traditions. do you know what they do to cats, huh? taking eyes, taking lives. i don't care how well they welcomed you or whatever mouse dung you're spewing. everything they have done is inexcusable."

he didn't want to lash out. palepaw didn't deserve this misdirected fury. yet he couldn't help it. so soon after everything that had happened, and now they had some propaganda enthusiast preaching on their land. bloodclan had no reason to exist beyond causing trouble. stories of their actions drifted through the clans since he was born, none of them good. adder hadn't exactly believed them. not until recently anyway.

his eyes rolled smoothly with an exasperated sigh at iceeyes' and the harbored's words. love was stupid. everyone left anyway, right? what was the point of deep connection if you'd just end up alone. he had built his walls, guarded them with thorns, and nobody would be getting passed easily. "ivykit is entitled to her opinion about emotions just as much as you are. some of the best warriors are callous and independent. she might grow up and become a better warrior than you ever were." again an uncalled for jab slid through his lips. this time it was aimed at his older clanmate.

it seemed a good time to redirect the subject. adder looked back to palepaw, narrowing his eyes in a look of curiosity. "you've been in fights," he observed. the riverclanner indeed had some carried scars of battle upon her. with wounds came stories. "how'd those go?" there was a slight tone of mock in his voice mainly due to seeing proof of such previous injuries.

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]nightstar. the name was still something indescribably alien. it gave him a feeling of déja vu - familiar yet strangely unknown. it'd be a lie to say he wasn't still sour over dapplestar's self-demotion. as much as he understood she was incapable of continuing her duties what with the amount of stress and her newly demolished limbs, he couldn't accept it. nothing could quite justify his anger over the subject. that just made him more upset.

it was true that part of it was due to his lack of a mentor now. at ten moons he was close to receiving his warrior name. these were the months that were important in training. it was this time he should be using to hone his craft and learning to use his grown body in duties. that couldn't be done now, however. not when he was bumped back to being just another apprentice without a teacher. was part of this bad attitude due to losing the leader rather than dapple herself? it hurt to admit it, but yes. he wanted to be a valiant warrior, one that someone would be proud to talk of. dapplestar would have trained him to be just as amazing as her. would have. not anymore.

he joined the meeting with his head held low and his body slumped into a lazy gait. he sat down among the other cats, ears tipped back in a show of impatience. he didn't want to be here, didn't want to acknowledge more change in his life. he wasn't ready to lose his mentor, let alone take on a new one. he wouldn't be getting his warrior name. in fact he might have to train longer for that. seeing everyone else getting what they wanted was childishly painful. he just wanted to leave.

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]// feel free to skip to the second to last paragraph if you don't feel like reading this all!!

he had left. there was but a vague recollection left of that day. really, the decision had been a mindless impulse fueled by his reluctance to accept any sort of change in his life. had anyone even noticed his absence? he doubted it. adderpaw had never been close to anyone else in thunderclan. as the moons crawled by he seemed to be less and less open to making nice with even his apprentice peers.

if he had to pinpoint when this spiral first started, he would have to place the blame upon snowpaw. light, delicate, fierce, the shadowclanner had been his dirty little secret. he would sneak out to meet her, cross territories just to see the girl. sure they'd only interacted a select few times, but he had thoroughly enjoyed their meetings. there had just been something about it. the enticing secrecy, the rush of rebellious allure, the fact that for once in his life someone understood him - all of it. then one day it just stopped. without a word, without a final goodbye, snowpaw was gone. he could never forgive her for that.

then came the whole ordeal with dapplestar- mangledheart. whatever she was called now. adder hated to dwell on that. it tore open wounds that never quite healed. it left him sour, hideous inside as he ex-mentor was outside. another mother lost. another person broken. the pattern was so clear now: it was him.

after the hostage situation, after her being crushed so unceremoniously, after her stepping down like it wasn't a big deal- ! just remembering it lit the fire in the short-tempered van. he hated how willing everyone was to move on. she had led them! kept them safe! and how to they repay her? with a journey to have her lives taken away and a move into the elder's den. his mentor had died. she was long gone. in her place was that thing. it looked like her, sounded like her, had her memories. but, no. mangledheart wasn't dapple. he wouldn't accept that.

even with his cataclysmic feelings on it all, adderpaw had stayed. he remained and kept on. at least in the beginning he had. the coming of nightstar had left him bitter; he knew how the system worked but hearing that stupid suffix behind that name reminded him constantly of who should be leading them. that had positioned him on the edge, left him scrabbling for purchase. the naming of cherrytail deputy was what he finally kicked him over the cliff's edge.

getting away had been the easy part. deciding to leave was a spur of the moment decision, sneaking away being made easy due to his poor bonds and allowance to leave on his lonesome. hunting, he had claimed. he'd gone out promising food. and then he had never come back.

adderpaw didn't want to make a big deal of his slipping away. he told no one, kept from giving hints to his plans. of course after his leave it was an obvious deserting. maybe it had come as a surprise, maybe they had seen it coming. either way, nobody had come looking. almost a moon had passed from when he left to when he stepped foot in the thunderclan territory once again.

the month had been kind to him, leaving him fed and filled out more than when he had left. the sleek form had shaped itself into a more masculine look complete with defined structure and angular features. his fur was tussled yet pleasing to the eye, coat full and clean despite the roughed appearance. he was heavier now due to a build up of muscle mass. the growth spurt clued into his passage closer to adulthood. the changes were subtle but clear to those who had known him before his disappearance.

the masculine feline would make no verbal announcement of his return. instead he opted for the simple approach of overstepping the scented boundary to await the patrol that would soon be coming. olive visionaries were narrowed in a dissociative apathy to the oncoming welcome back. he had only come back to serve his clan. as much as he disliked the idea, thunderclan ran through his blood and, therefore, he felt tied to it. yeah, he belonged here. one day maybe he'd enjoy that fact.

// aged him a month lol. dropped him w/o notice so im saying he ran off for a bit

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]the approach of nightstar wasn't acknowledged with anything more than piercing optics following the movement of the pitch tom. the younger of the two males looked far from excited at seeing the thunderclan leader. this was expressed through a narrowing twitch of his eyes and a underwhelming blankness on his face. ironic that it would be night that was the first to approach. starclan sure had a wry humor when it came to adderpaw, didn't it?

where have you been? that was the question, wasn't it? where had he gone? not "why did you leave?" or "are you alright?" not even something to hint that he was missed at all in his absence. it didn't shock him in all honesty. one couldn't be missed if they weren't cared for. care came with friendship, friendship with niceness, and niceness was something he had always lacked in.

the reply that was given was nothing short of curt and deflecting. "away." the single word was spoken in a tone that begged for no further questions. he had left to get away. returning, he didn't want to bring any of his vacation back with him. there was nothing glamorous to tell about, either. a moon on his own had left him with an even worse taste for loners. they lived in squalor. he couldn't stand such a lifestyle anymore after a month. "i'd like to return to thunderclan."

// thanks grazia !!

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]adderpaw remembered when things had been simpler.

hard to believe that just two moons ago he hadn't been harboring a storm inside himself. or maybe he had been. either way, his internal skies were much clearer, easy for feelings to freely drift about. nowadays, it was far from that. there was a tornado in him, a violent emotional turbulence that spun and spun and spun until something - or someone - ended up hurt. he was a natural disaster with months of self-loathing and bitterness to unleash upon anything that happened to cross his path.

the van had returned very recently, only just a few days ago to be accurate. it hadn't taken long for him to fall back into the usual habit of leaving camp often. hunting, climbing, practicing. he found that sometimes things never change. the apprentice enjoyed his solitude just as much before he had disappeared. felt like he enjoyed it even more now that the simplest of things got his temper flaring like a growing flame.

loneliness fit him. he didn't deserve to have friends or a family. had he decided he absolutely scorned the loner life, adder may not have even had a clan. starclan, help him. was there no place for him in the world? was he really doomed to lose everyone? fitting a square peg in a round hole was a task; fitting a lost boy into a life of independence was just so too.

the month of absence from his clan had done a lot to him. while it may have left him confused, sour, and callous inside, it had given him much to brag about on the physical spectrum. leaner muscles, lost weight, more time to mature away from watching eyes - he had grown on his own. now the apprentice was left looking healthy, albeit a little slim to the minds of those who had know him before. there was an air of ruggedness that he carried with his slightly tousled fur, in his calculative olive optics that were blanker than they should have been for a ten month old.

perhaps his newfound way of seeing life was due to everything that had happened in his life. the loss of his siblings, the abandonment of his parents, the vanishing of his one friend, the utter failure to protect his mentor -his leader! - from so many things. the period before he left thunderclan had been the hardest. snowpaw's loss started it all. then dapplestar was kidnapped, tortured, crushed, demoted, and shoved in the elder's den like some sort of unwanted fresh kill. it may have seemed an overreaction to most, but to him it was everything. those two she-cats... they were all he'd had at that point. then one left while the other turned into someone he couldn't even recognize.

but, maybe his pessimism was just that: an unhealthy, hateful way of thinking. who knew? he couldn't have turned out the same regardless of it all. some were just destined to be angry with life. what was to say adderpaw wasn't one of them?

whenever these toxic thoughts slithered into his brain to poison his confidence and fuel the flames of his self-hatred like malevolent snakes, adder would take his leave from the clan and venture into the familiar solace of the forest he called home. it was quiet, dare he say peaceful. the lack of clanmates allowed his fraying nerves to settle, as did the lack of responsibilities when he was on his own. the fact that he could take any petty anger out of prey or a defenseless tree was just an added bonus.

that'd been his plan for the next few hours. just wander aimlessly, take a few swipes at things, then go on back home with a mouthful of prey. at least, that was before a foul smell infiltrated his nostrils. adderpaw had never seen a fox, had never had any sort of interaction with them. aside from a few whiffs off other cats who'd been through altercations or scenting around the border, the tabby van had never had anything to do with the red beasts. really, that was what drove him to follow the trail.

legs the color of immaculate snow carried him expertly through the brush. much like the reptile he was named for, adderpaw glided over the terrain smooth as water over a stone. silent, skilled, the youthful tom boldly sought out the creature tainting the land with its smell. he'd chase it off, prove he had worth despite his little training and deserting nature. he'd show them.

noises unlike any he had heard reached his russet ears. they were almost yowls, yet nothing akin to that of a feline. still he did not pause. the cat saw the fox before it did him. he also happened to see the limp kit beneath its form. had there been any doubts of what he was about to do, they were long gone now.

the air was split with a vicious caterwaul of battle that rang from between adderpaw's bared teeth. he was already soaring toward the vixen when its golden visionaries locked onto him. there would be no dodging this attack. claws sliced into flesh, a warm knife through butter almost. the two bodies collided, both tumbling to the dirt below before rolling around in a tussles of fur, fangs, and fury. adder could feel various wounds being ripped into his flesh but paid no mind to the opening of wounds. all focus was on the bushy rust hued figure attempting to tear into his throat.

he didn't realize until it had happened that he was on his back. two ebony paws splayed on either side of his head, a torso above keeping him from rolling to an escape. the fox's teeth snapped and gnashed toward him, held just out of reach by the apprentice's outstretching front legs. his claws dug into its throat but the affliction had no use. then, right before his straining elbows gave, adderpaw acted upon instinct and kicked his back legs into the underbelly above him in a gutting motion.

his ears were assaulted with a scream ripping from the maw practically right by them. in the fox's paralyzed surprise, adderpaw moved fast as light as he moved one paw from the throat and raked a score across one of the deep amber eyes peering from above. another cry came, though this one was accompanied by something much better. a retreat.

the vulpes hopped back, shaking its head to and fro in a motion so frantic it looked as if it were going to cause damage. hopping and pawing at the bloody optic, the fox decided to take its leave then. soon as the animal disappeared into the surrounding scenery, adderpaw rolled to his belly. the fading of his adrenaline brought upon the sting of injuries.

scratches ranging from surface wounds to deep, dark lines littered the span of his shoulders. a few piercings left by teeth dotted around his scruff and collar area. along with that, he could feel blood trickling down from what was assuredly a nasty gash lines on his forehead. it wasn't until the lad stood that he realized on of his hind legs had earned itself a deep rip through the thigh. flicking a now nicked ear, he grunted through the pain and forced himself to walk the treacherous few steps to the tanned fur individual he'd just saved.

"hey," he ground out. the masculine's voice was deep with suppressed pulses of agonizing pain, rasping with the effort. "you okay?"

//extra long to make up for my lateness. sorry again ;v;

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]even with the severe facial scarring, adderpaw recognized the shadowclanner. sparrowfall. or sparrowstar as she had more recently been designated. who cared though? if those nasty marks on her face were any indicator, she was an awful leader. what else should one expect from a cripple just out of her apprentice years?

nearing her, adder would make a show of eyeing her up and down before giving a snort. it'd been some time since their initial. granted, the had gotten off on the wrong foot. after that, the two of them had run into each other at fourtrees. remarks were traded, low blows were made, all the good stuff. after that, they'd actually had a decent talk. a bonding moment if you would.

sure, he remembered that. they had both gotten over themselves enough to converse. she had even told him the story of her dead leg. none of that mattered now. they had both changed. crowflight appeared, starting the conversation off nicely. adder wouldn't allow that.

"of course things aren't alright. do you even see her? she looks awful," the apprentice instigated. his red ringed tail flicked behind him in a repeated motion, almost like a taunt. when she spoke, the tom added, "did you mess up? not surprised."

// ic opinions,, it hurt me to write this i love sparrow 2 much
ninja'd and edited

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]her smile was anything but returned. if anything, the frown on his face just deepened at the sight of it. how funny that she could still have some sense of humor while looking like crowfood. "almost didn't realize. honestly, i hadn't thought you could have looked any worse than before," the van drawled out. olive optics met the tired lime ones of the leader, attempting to hold her gaze in order to ruffle her fur. "that leg of yours never was pretty."

there was a part of him knowing that he was going too far. all of this had been too far. sparrow had been a good cat to him, almost a friend even. but... no, she had this coming. she left him. she didn't deserve to be treated nice. everyone had lost that right.

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]thunderclan sure had their tails in knots. first crowflight chastising him as he were - what? his mentor? adderpaw could have laughed at that prospect. he'd only ever had one mentor and, as of now, she was sitting in the elders' den collecting dust like an unwanted mossball.

then there was cherrytail, the new deputy. that spot had automatically made his fuse short regarding the fellow red and white feline. "dear starclan," the irritated boy hissed underneath his breath, closing his eyes momentarily to keep himself collected. he knew what cherry had said was an order rather than a suggestion. might as well do what was asked of him to avoid more trouble than he would be in.

"maybe you can find the gal to let a leader stand up for herself, cherrytail," adderpaw retorted. shooting a look to the shadowclanner, he continued adressing his clanmate, "your feeling the need to treat her like a fragile kit just proves my point that she's unfit to lead." the apprentice felt that was a good point to leave off seeing as how poor his self-control was proving to be. the bi-colored tom got to his paws and set off with a wave of his tail to take care of his new duties.

[justify][font=trebuchet ms]adderpaw had a newfound dislike of non-clan cat. be in a longtime rogue or a kittypet or even someone whom had just recently cut ties with their clan, he didn't like them. in the apprentice's eyes, clan life was the only one worth living. should someone choose to live any other way than out of the system, then they were beneath him. the loner life was disgusting, shameful.

that made these duo looking to join just the same.

the cold they had mentioned barely touched him. a downy coat of medium length covered every inch of him, white as pure snow underfoot aside from the rusty markings on his cranium and tail. warm as the fur was, he could feel the bitter chill sting against his moist nose and unprotected paw pads. still, he was sheltered quite well from the air.

his coat kept him well blended with the fallen sleet, the dampening scent of snow hiding his scent as he neared his spotted clanmate and the two unknown figures. olive visionaries peered from the masculine, staring down the pair looking to join. a tooth peeked from his mouth in a lopsided sneer in their direction. they were nothing special. they had no place here. knowing nightstar though, he'd scoop them up like a couple of new kids. as if he needed anymore.

"you're wasting time here. best just move along, mousebrains," would come the unwelcoming hiss of the van boy. if he was lucky, perhaps he could drive them off before the thunderclan leader appeared. "we don't need anymore mouths to feed." his gaze fell to the younger one. a munchkin. speaking of hungry members, it didn't look like she would be much aid in feeding anyone.

// welcome to tc buds !! also sportaflop ur name im dyin,,