[fancypost bordercolor=transparent; width: 450px][justify][font=georgia]Jasper felt so... warm. For the first time in nearly two centuries, he felt positively alive. He was like a schoolgirl with a crush; she was the only thing on his mind all the time. He felt his metaphorical heart skip beats when her name raced across his mind, his stomach tying in knots, his lungs in his throats. He loved her so much he forgot what it was like to hate himself. And, oh God, the very thought of being able to see her soon... it just made him utterly ecstatic.
To pass the time that seemed to crawl by until he got to sneak out to see her, he patrolled the island. Of course, he was barely paying any attention to the world around him. She had raged war on his thoughts and won. Her gentle face, her sweet smell, the peals of bells when she laughed, the graceful way she walked. He had memorized every little thing about her -- her short fur and every time it stood up in a spike, her minuscule microexpressions, the way her face went slate when she had a vision, how her eyes darkened by a single hue each day she went without hunting, the way she scrunched up her nose when she was thinking, the feeling of her gentle lips pressed against his...
Jasper was stopped in his tracks when that familiar scent invaded his senses. Without thinking, he flitted over to the source of the smell, not thinking that someone might see him race forward faster than a speeding bullet. He was a tad bit disappointed to not immediately spot the lithe black feline at the border, however his worries were washed away when he spotted a little folded piece of paper with his name scrawled on top of it with elegant handwriting. Curiosity getting the best of him, the tabby carefully unfolded the note, his tawny eyes skimming the letter.
I understand that you're tired. Tired of friends that take more than they give. Tired of love that can be measured in pinches. And, mostly, tired of yourself. You stare at your reflection until you aren't sure who's looking back at you. You say your name over and over until the word tastes foreign and loses what little meaning it had. You want to unknot yourself from the place you're geographically tied to yet can't find. Your fingers trace the rivers and roads of scars on your arms and hope this body is still your own. You tell yourself to breathe. You used to hum lyrical melodies to yourself, now it's a song of inhale and exhale. In and out. In and out. People leaving your room, your arms, your life. You can't help but wonder just what the hell's wrong with you. Why you rip yourself open and why the world always comes out. You wail until depression is a creature that claws at your throat until it's raw. It's not flushed cheeks and glazed eyes. It's a finger-painting mess of snot and tears and blood. You wonder why this is something you can't fix. Something you can't make up.
So don't. Don't fix yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and understand that's you, baby, that's you. Say your name out loud, repeat over and over. Understand that that is who you are. That name is the embodiment of a soul so pure and good it's unbelievable. That's you. You are not inadequate. You aren't too much. You are you. You aren't the valleys and mountains of scars on your arms, the ties to places you can't find. You are goodness. You are beauty. You are the universe. You are love.
Jasper felt his throat close. His head was swimming as he took a slow seat, afraid he would topple over. His bottom lip quivered and he carefully folded the paper back, holding it to his heart. His eyelids slid shut, a smile tugged at his shaking lips.
For the first time in almost a century, he felt hope.
[spoiler=tags][font=georgia]GENERAL
jasper whitlock-hale / npc x npc / agender / he/him / 30 months physically / 172 years spiritually / blizzardclan / combatant / russet tabby / eyes change color based on hunger / heavily scarred / demipanromantic demipansexual / southern accent / based off jasper hale from twilight
PERSONALITY
cold / stoic / majorly empathetic / cuts off empathy / self-loathing / militaristic / polite / southern gentleman / overprotective / uncontrollable thirst / has ptsd and dpd / logical
POWERS
super speed / super strength / project & manipulate emotions / eye color manipulation (uncontrollable) / vampirism / super senses / venomous fangs / glows in sunlight
INTERACTION
extreme physically / easy mentally / highly trained / attack in bold white / no kill / pm for capture / okay to powerplay non-offensive interactions
