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I just hate being the one kid who's all alone at break, lunch, and during "group" projects at school.
I'm getting really frustrated when I ask people for advice and they say: "Join a club!" "Talk to people you haven't talked to!" "Make new friends!" "Just be yourself!"
I. Can't. Do. Any. Of. That.
There are no clubs at my school of 110 students who I'v known since kindergarten. There are no loners like myself. And, who else was I acting like this entire time!? Frick!
I'm not "disliked," and I haven't wronged a single person that I know of. I can't actually see a reason why I'm so alone, so out-casted.
I haven't been invited to a party in five years.
I'm always forgotten about by my peers, although I'v left my mark in the school with top grades and athletics.
I can't stand it anymore!
There's no connection with my peers. It's like I speak an entirely different language, one that they haven't been able to grasp even after 11 years of knowing me!
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It's odd. I feel accepted by strangers and people who don't know me in person.
I spend hours on the internet speaking with people from other countries, and I seem to fit in perfectly. I don't feel like the odd-one-out. I feel...normal, for a change.
Even talking to people older than I am, in person or not, I feel more accepted. It's like I was born in the wrong era, to the wrong generation.
Honestly, I have one friend. She's been there for me and I'v been there for her. She moved out of town a long time ago, and I'v never been able to find friends. I'm not trying to replace her (It'd be impossible), or find someone else to fill the void; I only seek companionship, a pat on the back for accomplishments, and nice words when I'm feeling down.
There's nothing.
My world seems so vast, yet so empty.
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