Posts by Sasha Alastair

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^{Sasha stolled by, pausing and turning when she realize what Feli was doing. Touring over, she would look at the canvas and paints before feeling a smile grace her muzzle. She remembered in the old days, how Feli had painted a portrait if her. Then later on, how Japan had drawn a booklet full of images of her and Volcanicstorm. Her heart hurt knowing that it had all been lost through the world change and the move.}

^{"I remember the day you painted me." Sasha said, sitting with the group. "I kept that painting as long as I could, hung it up everywhere. You always were quite the spectacular artist."}

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^{Sasha had seen the incident, but only rose and came forwards as the kit darted off to his mother. Her brows were furrowed a bit, slight annoyance but relief decorated on the emotion she visually offered. Sitting, the fae would look quite seriously at Feli.}

^{"Feli," Sasha would begin, looking at him carefully. "You did good stopping that kit. But perhaps it may be a good idea to not mortify a child with the idea of parental mourning and death. There are softer ways to address things and get a point, but something like death should be addressed by their parents, don't you think?"}

^{The fae looked on as the kit went to find his mum, before looking back at Feli and Nymeria. Bewilderment was her biggest emotion at the moment, but she took care not to express it too much. Looking at Nymeria, she prepared for words for her as well.}

^{"Nymeria, as a friend to a friend... This should've been addressed within the first couple days of arriving. A new territory with such new and bizzare dangers isn't something everyone is well educated on, and if the knowledge was present..." The fae trailed, looking at her carefully before sighing. "Anyway, we should find what these frogs avoid, maybe a plant or scent, if it exists, and see if we can't offer that as a deterrance from camp range. Sightings should also be reported and tracked. Maybe through that we can identify high traffic areas and ensure our young don't travel through the area, or our schools students and faculty. Come spawing season, we should work to locate spawning grounds and avoid that as well. Same thing should be done for other creatures that are lethal or toxic."}

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^{Sasha often trekked the territory, especially the border. With the school being newly opened, she took care in ensuring she would locate interested animals that didn't want to stroll into Thunderland territory. This time, she found something new, yet old. A new member entirely, but a old face.}

^{"Hello, Edelweiss, names Sasha. Welcome back." The fae would say, looking at the joiner. "We've been saying that often, perhaps you'll see some familiar faces."}

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^{The fae was on her daily walk when she found the note pinned on their border. Picking it up, the fae would read it carefully. A story telling contest... That'd be fun! The fae would then fold the invitation and carry back to camp.}

^{Upon arriving, the fae would look around for thier leader. Frankly she wasn't sure she'd be permitted to accept a invitation but it wasn't like there was anyone to inform this time around. She thought it'd be great... If anyone actually attended.}

^{"Nym! We got a invitation to a story telling contest down in Amalfi Heights." The fae would call, setting the note down. "They left a invitation!"}

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^{Sasha's walks around the territory seemed eternally eventful, thus far. She always managed to find something or someone on her stroll. This time, she found both a being and a basket. Blue eyes shining through against her white and grey tabby coloring, she would approach the stranger resting on the border.}

^{"Hello," Sasha began, nodding politely. "I'm Sasha, welcome to Thunderlands. How may I help you?"}

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^{The fae paid attention as the other spoke, and took careful note of the name that was offered to her. As a ambassador for their clan, she knew she'd be seeing more I'd them in the future. As far as his question, she tried not to take it too literally. Thunderclan has fallen to ashes, and from those ashes a dim hope named Thunderland resided. But Sasha had little hope for a genuine spark, and that worried her.}

^{"Thunderlands is doing well. We're hosting our schools welcoming assembly today, seen a few new faces pop up to join us. We're slow, but... We live on." The fae said, with a faint smile. "How's the Sanctuary?"}

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        ^{Am I trusted yet?}

^{The question rang in Sasha's mind after every interaction, it seemed. She knew Nymeria and Sam took well to her, and that was good. Feli seemed comfortable with her but warily so. Deutsch? She felt they'd always have a tension between them, too much had happened. Then, there was Volcanicstorm. Did he know? What would he say or do when he found out? Should he be told at all?}

^{Of course, there was also the question of herself. She told herself it was a new start, and that the past was behind them. But as she strangled herself daily with the fear that somehow she wasn't 'good' again, and still questioned the fact if she was ever truly 'bad' at all. For once... The fae was caving and deciding she needed a therapist of sorts to help her arrange her thoughts and feelings. She needed to come to terns with the wrongdoings of her past, and not only accept them, but move past them. There was no way in hell she could do it herself.}

^{She fought back on a leadership she felt was tyranical and dictative. Was it good, or bad that she had?}

^{She left the clan before she could be exiled so she could still see her family on the border. Was it a smart move, or a foolish one?}

^{She attacked a leader in a attempt to de-throne him after realizing he had murdered her sibling and, she felt, was running the clan into the ground. Was it the right move, or not?}

^{She played a part in the civil war that officially overthrew the leader she hated so much, and finally people believed her! But was it of selfish wants or genuine care for her clan?}

^{Too many indicents and too many questions for the fae to handle on her own. She feared the thought of being driven practically mad. Sasha could still remember laying in the ashy grounds of the Exiles territory, driving her claws into her head and ripping at her skull to get the voices and the faces out of her head and away from her sight. At the thought of this, she'd lightly pat her head expecting a thick mane with clear scars dissallowing growth. But this wasn't her old body, and all she'd feel was a clean, medium length furred head. Taking the paw away, she'd stare at it with a emotion full of question. It was like her problems were erased, or perhaps she was in a permanant hallucination? Did she really get pulled from hell or did the demons just decide they were done accommodating her as a equal and finally get thier twisted, dark claws on her to torture her for eternity?}

^{The fae began to shiver at the thought, and she soon brought her paw tight to her chest to feel her heart beat and lungs expand and release the air she needed to badly. Thu-thunk. Thu-thunk. Thu-thunk.Her heart beat against her chest, and in turn, she could feel the vibrations in her paw.}

^{Letting out a sigh, the faes eyes would shut and she'd lean back to rest a bit more comfortably. Her mind run rampant at every opportunity, and it was driving her up the wall, so to speak. Her eyes would flutter open to stare into the thick tree-tops, watching colorful birds leap and fly from branch to branch and strange creatures that don't seem to do much but hang and sit munch on a fruit. Yet, as she stared into the beauty the jungle had to offer, only one question lingered in the fae's mind.}

^{But who can help me?}

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^{Sasha nodded as the pair spoke, listening in to what Feli and Praufyx had to say. A strong leader was right, Nymeria always was a strong gal. But the demands of leadership was something she feared Nymeria couldn't handle alone. Sasha knew well she was a gentle soul, never wanting to dissapoint, and she feared the day that dissapointment rose and Nymeria felt defeated. Would she be able to recoup herself in time?}

^{"Ay, that is the hope." The fae said with a nod. "Our clans should certainly get together for a event of some sort. I have the hopes that a event would be hosted soon, but I am not positive on the status as far as that goes."}

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^{Lost in thought, Sasha almost didn't register Nymeria approaching, much less speaking to her. Almost lazily, the fae returned to reality. Releasing the grasp of the colorful dances and odd yet soothing calls of the jungle, her eyes would focus in on her leader almost solemnly.}

^{Should she speak to Nymeria about the thoughts in her head, or would she feel that Sasha was a liability or otherwise incapable of succeding in the ranks of the Thunderlands? Feelings for Sasha had proved a weakness, usually empowering irrational and angry outbursts. But if she couldn't confide in her leader, oldest friend, and practical sister-in-law... Who the hell else could she confide in? Sasha knew Nymeria, and she knew she'd understand. Despite her reservations, the fae gave in to her decision.}

^{"Nym this is... Difficult for me to admit to say the very least." The fae started, looking towards her then away as if ashamed. "I've always prided myself in tending to myself just fine. Always, whether it was being too stubborn to let someone else heal me, or training myself or even mental health. But, I'm not sure I can do that this time and I need help. My past is... It-It's long and-and dark and quite frankly I feel like I've trapped myself between something of a hero and a absolute mass of destruction and war. I don't know if the things I did were good or-or-or bad and I have no fucking clue how anyone has the heart to forgive me for the things I know damn well were horrid. I don't think that I can arrange my thoughts and figure out what I was, how I should address the shadows that linger. It's like I'm safe from others but not from myself as far as my past goes. Forgive and forget isn't proving to be enough. I lost a lot of people I loved, I hurt mtself and others."}

^{In a awkward chuckle, the fae would pause. Looking back towards Nymeria, she'd note the tears that started to swell and damned them to hell. Crying wasn't her thing, she absolutely hated crying. Beside the fact she felt it made her look like a total woos, she hated the headache and runny nose that came with it.}

^{"The saying goes... You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the enemy." Sasha then said, letting out a deep sigh. "I don't think I've ever been the hero of my story, nor ever will I be, I fear. I feel something in between. Doing the wrong things for the right reason all those years ago. I just can't come to terms with it all and I fear that it'll forever bar me from becoming the fae I've always aspired to be. I need a fuckin' therapist, thats what I need."}

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^{Trailing her normal route, the fae often found herself stumbling upon un-served visitors. Today was no different, besides the fact the event of Shadow Veil lingered upon the stranger versus a familiar pro-clan. However, Sasha bore no fear. She lived in the damn Exiles, after all. No living being injected true fear into her heart anymore, at least not yet.}

^{"Good evening," Sasha began, nodding politely towards the stranger. "I'm Sasha, welcome to Thunderlands. How can I help you?"}

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^{Sasha nodded to Feli as he approached, before her focus was quickly redirected towards the visitor. Her ears perked and she nodded slowly, showing she understood what was being said. Leader changes seemed frequent this past couple weeks.}

^{"Right, Nymeria is our leader, so she'll know most readily. As far as I'm aware it still stands, I've heard no announcement otherwise. Of course, with a leader change I cannot say for sure. She should be along soon." She stated with a nod. "Congratulations on the new leadership!"}

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^{The words offeres to her confirmed that she was right for wanting to address these issues. However, it also confirmed the thought that she should speak to Volcanicstorm about the issue. It makes most sense to speak to the people you love about serious issues, and there was no reason her mate should be any different. He loved her for her, maybe not the girl in the past, but the girl she was before the incidents and he accepted her even now. Latching onto the hope, she'd nod and look at the pair.}

^{"Thank you." Sasha said, with a small sigh. "That answered a question that really needed ansered at some point. It means a lot that you're both willing to listen to my blabbering. Especially you, Feli... You know I never wanted to hurt you but I know well that the harm caused to Deutsch hurt you in turn and it means a lot that you're still willing to be my friend. I think I'll talk to Volc later on... He deserves to know and I know he had been traveling a lot... Maybe he knows someone that can help me further than what I or a listening ear can offer."}

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^{The Thunderlandic fae strolled in just before the announcement. While she wasn't sure as to whether or not she'd share a story, she was certainly eager to hear some. Unfortunately, Sasha had few happy stories anymore. She held stories of war and crimes, death and the afterlife... None of which ended in a happy way. One of her few happy memories consisted of kit-hood and her paint filled fun with her long-missing sister. But, perhaps she'd find some inspiration and be able to spit a happy theme out later on.}

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^{Heyo! I'm hoping to help revive Thunderlands into the big ol' grand Thunderclan it used to be... Kinda. ^^' See, we're the same.Thunderclan for the most part, but little members. One of our members posted about things that may push people away from the clan, and the same member and myself proposed we take on something to make the clan itself more unique. Something that makes you go "hey this sounds like a fun and unique clan concept, I want to be a part of it". Now we've suggested perhaps a jungle tribe based concept, but I thought it might be good to get ideas and input from those that may be eyeballing but want something unique or from those of you who have concepts you're dying to see put to work!}

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^{The fae watched as Feli.and Deutsch approached and welcomed... Their daughter? Oh, well now she felt stupid. She should have recognized the child, but it had been so long. However that thought was quickly pushed aside when vampirism was mentioned. A cure? Hah! She wished.}

^{"I too had looked for a cure." The fae said with a slight chuckle. "As far as I've found, nothing like that exists. Eventually I built up enough of a tolerance that occassional prey blood would suffice and I could eat normal food for the most part. Took a long time, though, and those fangs never did go away until I ended up in this body. Made for quite the bite in fights, though."}