Posts by Steve the ghost

"Never let go, Burrito!" Mr. Fluffypatch squeaked. Bills thumb and pinky positioned them selves at Mr. Fluffypatch's arms, making them hug her face. Bill looked at his brother, grinning ear to ear. "Hey, get in on this man. It's HUGGING TIME!"

Bill huffed as Will and Nanashi both trapped him under their weight, but still found the breath to laugh all the same. "One of these days, we gotta get Pinetree in the center of all this hugging. It'd be great. He'd be claustraphobic and everything and it'd be just great. Because this is how everything was meant to be." Bill poked Will in his side. "Yknow how I'm always going on about how fate and destiny are stupid concepts created by the human mind to add drama and romanticism to their lives? WHELP. I was wrong. It is a legitimate thing. And do you know how I know?"

"YEAH YEAH. WHATEVER." Bill rolled his eyes, letting himself be wrong for once. It was fine, though. This was a good thing to be wrong about. "Ok. Ok. So, get this right? Ohhhhh. You are not going to BELIEVE THIS." Bill sat up, hugging will in his left and Nanashi in his right. "Ok. So. Project 66, right. THEY MADE NANASHI TO KILL ME." He put a finger to Will's lips, "BUT," he added, "I like to think of it as, she was made for me. Ok? THEY FUCKED UP. BIG TIME. And now, the very being they built to destroy me, will end up destroying THEM. ITS THE IRONY WILL. IT KILLS ME IN A VERY METAPHORICAL SENSE. BECAUSE ITS LITERALLY JUST TOO GOOD TO BE ANYTHING BUT DELICIOUS FATE."

"So, since we're here, I should totally show you where the gang hangs out. And the passphrase. That would also be useful. I think that after that,bae should DEFINATELY go party. I haven't partied in a while, and it's giving me jitters." Bill snuggled Nanashi closer, gently hugging her face with Mr. Fluffypatch as well.

"THAT, my dear, is not a problem. Partying is a simple form of art and easy to teach." Bill bragged. Then he turned to Will, while simultaneously Mr. Fluffypatch stopped hugging Nanashi's face. "I suppose since partying isn't really your thing, you won't be coming with?"

"Well, you aren't wrong. She's pretty lovely. Well, when we're done partying, we'll come back and chill wittle you. I feel kind of bad for leaving you alone twice in a row." Bill hugged his brother, then handed him Mr. Fluffypatch. "I'm charging you with his care, Will. Make sure he gets to bed on time." He winked and giggled histerically. Then standing and dragging Nanashi up with him, he addressed her, "WELP. We better go if we want to make it back for movies!"

"You keep asking me that. The answer is, WE ARENT! BYE WILL!" Bill grabbed Nanashi's hand and darted down a different hallway, going straight to the front door and bolting out of it, slamming it behind them. Outside was a small field of grass on a cliff that was over looking literal hell. Brimstone, lava and everything. It seemed to be composed of layers, cities on top of cities, magma flows and bioluminecent stone lighting up the scene. The "roads" per say, were non existent. Rather, it was more of an air way, with demons flying either solo or on the back of a serpentine leviathan. Everything was a bustle of activity, and demons of all shape, size, color, and sin were going to wherever they had business or where ever they pleased.

"Well, the HQ for the Henchmaniacs is on the 3rd floor. Gluttony, if memory serves." While the levels of hell were named after the sins they punished, the whole floor was not tortured mortal souls. That was just one section of it. The rest was occupied by demons, functioning very much like any other city. Housing complexes, bars, restaurants, and other things were present here. Torturimg mortals was more like going to work if anything. The Mindscape was a different realm, however. Not being one of the 9 circles, it was in a different part of Hell all together. Though, if they were to punish anyone, it would be the foolish, arrogant, and ignorant. Just for being stupid on purpose. Bill knew that adding another circle to hell would completely screw up EVERYTHING, but it was still kind of tempting to make the Mindscape one of the circles. He'd been thinking about it, he just hadn't done anything yet. "We'll be looking for The Obtuse Angle. You'll learn the passphrase when we get there." Bill lead Nanashi along the 'sidewalks' as the made their way through the bustling crowd. Bill recognized a few demons as they passed, and some recognized him. Greetings were exchanged with a quick wave or nod, and many eyebrows were raised when they saw the girl Bill was traveling with. Most were questioning, but just a few were suggestive. Bill laughed these off and shook his head, denying the silent accusations.

They approached the bar, a big neon sign depicting an obtuse triangle stuffing fatty and sugary foods into its singular mouth. Upon entering, it was a club/bar/diner. The dance floor and DJ at the far right, the restraint being above them on a glass ceiling, and the bar being to the far left. There were a few demons above eating, but the majority were on the dance floor or at the bar, ironically enough. Bill walked hand in hand with Nanashi up to the bar to greet the bartender. He was a very large demon, resembling a giant obese hairless infant. His mouth was a mess of protruding fangs, and he had another mouth splitting his stomach, which had large tombstone teeth. This is the mouth he used to talk. "BILL!" He boomed, bass voice a bit gurgly with saliva. "ITS BEEN A WHILE! WHERE YA BEEN?"

"Ah, well, someone's gotta keep an eye on Pinetree, Hork! MIGHT AS WELL BE ME!" Bill shrugged, and placed an arm around Nanashi. "This is my girlfriend, Nanashi. She's joining the club." He winked.

"WHAAAT? BILL, YOU DEVIL YOU! I KNEW THEY COULDNT RESIST YOUR CHARMS FOR MUCH LONGER!" This statement caused a few people to turn their heads in surprise. Bill got a girlfriend? How was that possible? Good for him, they supposed. "IS SHE AS CRAZY AS YOU? OR IS THAT EXPECTING TOO MUCH?"

Bill just laughed. "Don't know if anyone is as crazy as me, but she's gotta be a little crazy if she's dating me! Honey, this is Hork. He may have a big mouth, but he's an alright guy. He makes sure the people who go to the back are supposed to be there in the first place. First line of security, I suppose."

"WELL HEY THERE! IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, IM RIGHT HERE! BILL CAN SHOW YOU WHERE THE DOOR IS." He looked at the patron that had just recently sat down at the bar, noting that he was being signaled over. "ALRIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU KIDS LATER. GOT PATRONS TO TAKE CARE OF."

"Yep. See ya round Hork." Bill turned to Nanashi. "Now, before you ask me again, we aren't waiting for anything." He took her hand and led her through the small half door on the far right that went behind the counter. There was a small hallway with a staff restroom and a staff break room. At the end of the hallway on the left was a door with a plac that had the letters VIP carved into it. There was a hole in the ceiling above them, with what looked like a cow bell in side. "So, this is a bit tricky, but you have to 'ring the door bell' three times. Problem being, if you don't have the right stuff, you can't reach the door bell to begin with." Bill snapped his fingers and his cane appeared. "Lucky for me, that's not a problem." He poked the end of his cane into the box hole and hit the cowbell once. Then again. Then again, puncuating the space between the strikes. The door cracked open slightly, some one peaking through the crack before closing the door and beginning to audibly undo the many locks keeping the door shut. Finally, it swung open to reveal a pink she demon with two spiraling horns and one eye in the center of her face. Her mouth was wide and coated with lipstick, and she wore a pink spandex onesie with flaming knee-high high heeled boots and elbow length gloves that both seemed to be made of white fire. "Bill! You're back! Geez, TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH! GET IN HERE!" She dragged Bill in and to his distress, closed the door. She hadn't even seen Nanashi. It didn't stay closed long though, as Bill soon appeared through the open door once again. "Sorry, hon. She must have not seen you." He grabbed Piranica's arm and dragged her back to the door. "Piranica dear, this is my girlfriend, Nanashi. She appreciates it when you don't close the door on her." He scolded. "Sorry! It's just been a while since we last saw Bill. Come on in!" She grinned nervously, showing her pointed and crooked teeth.

"Well, it's done and over with now. Come on, I'm gonna put you in the spot light." Bill took Nanashi by the hand and led her into the room. There was a poker table and a chess table on the left wall, a pool table in the center, and a air hockey table on the right wall. Bill led Nanashi to the pool table and jumped up on it, calling everyone's attention. "Lady and gentlemen, your attention please!" They all looked up expectantly. "I'm back!" They all laughed and cheered. "BUT! I AM NOT ALONE! I bring my new found girlfriend with me! She's the best! So if I ever said that any of you were the best,, I'm sorry. That is no longer true!" Whistles and cheers echoed around the room. A red floating hexagon with a mouth decorated with a mustache said, "Hey!"
"What? I have priorities!" Bill shrugged, and grinned down at Nanashi. "Hey, get up here and introduce yourself, my dear!"

Echoes of greetings bounced of the walls as the crowd below welcomed her. When most of the noise had settled down, Bill signaled for silence again. "Now, we do have a slight issue here." He began, wrapping one arm around Nanashi. "Due to this lovely young lady's unfortunate circumstances, she's never, not ONCE, been to a party! I SAY WE CORRECT THIS ERROR ASAP! SO, anyone know of any parties that are happening today?" Bill questioned. All were eager to announce parties they'd hear of that we're happening. They all seemed a bit...intense for a first party. Finally, the shortest demon, a set of teeth and gums with arms and legs scampered up to the pool table. "Bill, what about that masquerade on level 2? Heard there was gonna be a masquerade up there. You could go to that!"

"Hmmmmm." Bill pondered, turning to Nanashi. "Would you go to a masquerade, dear?"

"Fantastic! Masquerade it is!" Bill chimed. He hopped down and helped Nanashi to the ground. Satisfied that Nanashi was now one of them, they all went back to what they were doing, talking about how cute they were, and the hilarious height difference. "So, you have a dress and a mask and all that right? You probably don't have either, but I'm still asking anyway!" Bill grinned, towering over Nanashi.

"Well! That's a pleasant surprise. Guess I don't need to get you a dress made then! The less work, the better!" Bill grinned. What were the chances? He called Teeth over and questioned him further about the party. According to him, they apperently had plenty of time before hand. Good. This would give Bill time to figure out the guest list. "Hey, we should go walk around and figure out who's going to this party. I like to know who I'm going to be dealing with ahead of time. And if you're attending, it's probably best to know who to avoid, yes?"

"Hmmm. Kind of defeats the point of wearing the mask huh? Oh well." Bill shrugged, casually making his way towards the door. "I'm kinda torn. On one hand, if they know I have you, they might try to take you away. On the other hand," He chuckled, "It would be immensely entertaining to watch their jaws hit the floor as they realize just how BADLY their plan backfired. Wise against not-so-wise. Guess it'll have to be wise. I'm not taking any risks. I'd never forgive myself if they took you away on account of me being a dumbass."

Bill pondered this for a moment, realizing exactly how right she was. They were basically untouchable. It didn't matter if they knew they were together, because all they could do was sit in their own feces ejected because of how scared they would be. They couldn't do anything if they tried. Bill grinned maniacally as they walked out the door together, closing it behind them. "WELP. THERE GOES WISDOM. If all they can do crap their pants in fear, then I'm gonna show off to everyone. Hey, look at ME, dating HER. Yknow, the one who was supposed to kill me? YA. This is her! And then we totally kick ass. OOHHH. The looks on their faces. I can see them now." He closed his eye, cherishing the supposed vision. "It's beautiful. They look something like this." Bill stopped walking and made the most surprised face ever. Then, his jaw literally dropped to the floor, skin and muscle stretching to meet the physical demands of the task.

Bill looked down at his jaw, then looked at Nanashi, then his jaw, then Nanashi, then made a disgruntled noise and scowled. He couldn't seem to reel his jaw back up.

Bill looked down at his jaw and consentrated REALLY hard. Nope. A muscle twitched. That was it. He lightly stomped his foot in frustration. "Ah ha eh ah hah uh." He tried to say, but of course with out his lower jaw functioning, he couldn't actually speak coherently.

And just like that, Bills jaw snapped back into place. Not too painfully either. He clicked his teeth together twice and moved his tounge around a bit to make sure everything was good, which it was. "Pinetree asks me that a lot. Though, it's a decent bit more condescending. All the more funny, though I'm not really sure what I'd do with me either, to be perfectly honest. You'll have to be the one who comes up with ideas concerning that." Bill grinned, glad that his face could make such a contortion again. "Now. As I was saying, it's gonna be great. They're gonna get metaphorically smacked in the face, and it's gonna be great. Maybe literally. Nights still young." He continued to walk easily down the hallway and into the club. He eyed the menu as they walked past, but unfortunately, now was not the time for margaritas. Not if he wanted to remember the guest list anyway.

Bill walked out with Nanashi into the streets, giving Hork a salute as he exited. He looked around, wondering where he should go next. He was a bit out of the loop, which wasn't exactly ideal. He could no longer rely on his former informers, so could he rely on? One image came to mind. The tailor, she would know. Muffy had always been very reliable in the past, if a bit eccentric. And if anyone would know who was going to a masquerade, she would. Simply because she would be making dresses and suits to match people's themes or masks. She wouldn't know the WHOLE guest list, but she'd know a good portion, enough for Bill to get a feel for the kind of people who were going to be there. "We might actually go to the tailor anyway. She'd have pretty good idea for who would be at this party."