Posts by ? zara

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hey, i'm going to withdraw speckles and put in jinx for apothecary / apothecary apprentice <3 i'll make a detailed form for her later!

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[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]omg thanks!! lmao yes i figured that much
another inuyasha character
i tried to get into it when i had speckles here but i was daunted by all of the episodes okay i only watched like three

nervously tracks with this account

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]| i wrote like 800 words and i edited it like six times okay i checked and rechecked this thread and then my computer crashed and i lost it and im honestly so upset right now so this is not going to be as good at aLL IM SORRY

Deep croaks of frogs rang across the moors, the billows creating ripples in the perfect surface of the lake. The lonely calls fell into a cautious harmony with cicadas and sounds of the night, wind gently ruffling the mane of the leader. Plop.

The ripples grew, creating chaos among the clear water, seemingly black at this time of night. The reflections of tiny stars danced around, forcing the creases of Cosmicknight's frown to deepen. He watched the ripples for a moment, almost not wanting to look away until he was sure they ceased. There was a small transference of sand as chestnut paws shifted their position within beige earth, matching eyes soon to rise up to the night sky. Little pinpricks of light, inanimate fireflies left their mark on the atmosphere. The constellations were soothing. Just gazing at the delicate patterns and the light emitted made tension ease off of this shoulders, a tension he hadn't noticed before now.

Cosmic gazed up at these same stars as a child. He fascinated about life beyond them and wondered all of their secrets, and here he was, the same person, still staring. Then again, Cos wasn't the same, was he? He changed... He changed so much, and he didn't know if it was for the better. It was like there were two halves of him torn, constantly waging a war with each other. He tried to focus on naming the constellations in his mind rather than the thoughts intruding on his night more than the occasional hoots of an owl. He had to enjoy it while it lasted - it was rare the sky was this clear.

Maybe he should of lugged the telescope out here. Then again, this was a one-man-patrol before a tossing and turning sleep turned star gazing session. He was perfectly fine with just staring up at the stars like this in all heir natural beauty, holding the gift of sight and nature within his grasp. He was clinging onto whatever he had, something to keep him grounded, something to keep him sane, and the stars was what he had right now. This was enough for him. Yet, if this was enough, then why had he spent so long working on that telescope anyway? Maybe it was just because he wanted something to tinker with, something he could raise up himself. Maybe he wanted something to be proud of. Maybe he just wanted to learn more about the stars, to follow the natural urge of knowledge. Maybe he just liked stars. Hell if he knew. That thing had been in his life so long, and frankly, he was still proud of what he'd done as a kid. He held a sentimentality to the star gazer that he would never be able to explain. It wasn't just about the stars, and he was well aware of that.

He liked the memories he held with it. Forcing his siblings to see it, keeping it a little secret, letting time waste away as he did his little repairs and fixings. Hours spent gazing through it (with some difficulty) and analyzing the stars from a distance. Cosmic was attached to it. His ear flicked in a subconscious annoyance with himself in response the fond memories. It seemed like anything he had once been fond of he was beginning to hold a resentment to. Even 'Cos' was difficult for him to associate with. He was pushing away family, turning on them. It was harder and harder to bite his tongue and hold back mean comments when he knew they did nothing wrong. His canines rubbed together, gnawing on each other in a battle with no winner. Everything changed, everything had it's cycles, and Cos was no exception. He was shifting, as he knew it, and he didn't know how to deal with it. He was never going to ask for help with his problems. No, that would look weak! He was leader, after all, he could deal with everything himself. Still, he... He was nervous. Scared, even, though he would never admit it. He wouldn't even admit it to his beloved stars.

Cosmicknight took a deep inhale, eyes shutting momentarily and opening as he exhaled. He was stressed, he felt the anxiety chewing at his heart, but at least the night offered a bit of comfort from the armageddon within his skull.

| this was just me trying to get used to him tbh

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]This was... Interesting. While Cosmic wasn't anti-social, he just didn't really like to speak to others. Small talk was pointless. He understood the strength and power in alliances and friendships, but acquaintances was a place that he was unaware of the pros and cons. They could offer some fun, or a smile, but would a feast really bring together an alliance? Cosmic decided to only introduce himself when he was asked, instead wandering over to the people that knew him. The gaze cast toward Kate was apprehensive, lightly brushing against Padmé before sitting. A small act of affection. The corner of his maw twitched at the contact. He might be slipping, falling faster than he could ever comprehend, but Padmé was always there. He loved her, he knew that. He told her that when he was just eight months old, much to his mentors disapproval.

The reminiscence brought a pain to his heart and he quickly dismissed the thoughts. "Hey," was his greeting, carefully shifting his paws into a sitting position. Was there much more to say? His gaze drifted to Kate and he gave a small nod, leaning backward and letting his eyes meet the crowd once more.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Cos carefully assessed the arrangement of games. He quickly found that the buckets filled with fruit would be the easiest if he participated, with his large jaws and quick movements. Cosmicknight wasn't really sure on how this could be considered fun, but the idea of winning brought some kind of mental reward to his mind. Prizes were hardly the matter, but the pride of winning and rising about others was a natural reinforcement. While he ould be cocky of his abilities, he knew it would be hard for him to properly throw a ball into the tins. Now, this ladder thing? Pfft, he could handle that! It was just a latter! This was supposed to be considered a game? Too easy of a win! "I call playing the winner." He stated, chest puffed in the slightest. There was a small curve of his lip, conceiting and excited for his soon-to-be-win. This looked easy.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]"They're just flowers." Cosmic thought, eyebrows furrowing together in a judgemental confusion. He shook out his mane carefully and watched the weaving. Cos couldn't help but think the movements were skillful, but the thought wouldn't dare escape his mouth. He still had the same process - they were just flowers! There was no point in weaving them together. For what, beauty? He watched the movement carefully, with pursed lips, noticing the way her paws moved within the folds of stems and vines. He began to appear distant, subconsciously watching the kit until he snapped himself from his daze. "Where'd you find the flowers?" He finally spoke up with a cough, obviously trying to engage himself in some sort of conversation other than silence. His voice was strained in the slightest, like he wa uncomfortable with speaking. Then again, it seemed like his tone was always strained recently, huh?

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Who the hell was that? Unlucky dude, it seemed, but the drawing was so sloppy Cosmic had no damn idea who this girl was targeting. "You do realize in real life you would have a moving target, right?" Cos murmured a little sarcastically, eyes rolling back for a moment, left ear flicking and shifting the long fur around his face.

| woah super rushed sorry

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]All of this was too haunting for him. Killing, it seemed like it had become such a common thing in their quaint little proclan. A kit did not deserve death. Then again - did anyone? He had tried to convince himself all this time that Duskmire deserved to be killed. No, not deserved, that he had to be. He was going to kill his family, his friends, him. Cos had to do it to survive, for the survival of his clan. What he regretted was how quickly he did it. There wasn't a second thought, not an ounce of hesitation until after it was done. Would he of been able to do that before? Was something about him really changing?

The death opened old wounds and made his heart ache for the clan. He should of been able to protect them, but he failed. The pounding in his chest melted grief to his paws, a numbness that made every movement heavy. "I'll go." The leader stated simply, coming up beside his adoptive brother solemnly. If he ever came across that killer, he'd k-... He'd... Hurt them. They would pay.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Cosmic moved forward carefully, limbs heavy and pelt pushing down on his muscles. The name was quite ominous, and he couldn't remember seeing a feline like this before. There was so little fur, it seemed. He almost wished that upon himself, but a much more... Attractive version of such. Admittedly, he was proud of his mane, despite it being so hot sometimes. "Cosmicknight. A leader here." He stated, a monotone and simple greeting. He began to state that he could be called 'Cos' as well, but it was silenced by something he... Couldn't explain. Something unlike himself, just as Crow had once felt. Cos ignored the feeling, as usual, standing behind Kate as others rushed to greet the new member.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Cosmic couldn't help be curious about where the kid was from as well. This 'felix' just... Wandered over, all by himself? He would ask about his parents and family if the question did not seem so personal. He would not appreciate it if a stranger ran up and started asking about his life and decisions, or 'story' in general. That didn't mean he wouldn't discuss a little - Cos never liked to disappoint people. He decided not to introduce himself just yet. It was a kid, after all. They were bound to have a family somewhere, but if they didn't, Cos was sure Windclan would make a proper home for the kitten.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]He opened his mouth for a sharp reply, but the moment Padme said to remain civil he let his fur slowly lie flat. Cosmic pursed his lips tightly and gently pushed the side of his body into the other lioness cautiously. He would step in if needed, but so far, nothing looked as if it would turn into a fight. If everyone kept up their attitudes, it might, but for now they had Padme and Praguepaw making and effort to peacefully decide why he was here.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Cos couldn't help but feel his lip twitch. The kid was optimistic and happy, a little sunshine to the clan in the darkest of times. His little rays almost struck his heart, but Cosmicknight must of been too far gone to really see the light and joy the child gave off. "Well, I think you know me. Cosmicknight." He stated simply, monotone voice giving a small rumble in his throat. He nearly questioned the idea as well, but Prague beat him to it. He glanced over to his adoptive brother before landing his eyes back on the enthusiastic kitten.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Cos didn't speak up just yet, as it appeared that everyone else was greeting the Sunclanner properly. Cosmicknight carefully placed himself down beside Praguepaw, sitting down and upholding an easygoing posture. Easygoing was far from a usual word to describe him, but he could at least try to look like he was friendlier than he really was. A leader was meant to be strong to protect his clan and kind to keep the inhabitants cozy. It was hard to be both. Any sort of delicate or caring emotion could be perceived as weakness, couldn't it? Yet, why did he have to be what he should be? Couldn't he just be himself? Cosmicknight had lost sight of himself. There was no 'being himself' anymore, was there? He exhaled, clearing his stray thoughts and keeping his dark gaze on the ally.

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ooc | i'm shitposting
ooc | i saw this and i couldn't help it
ooc | also listened to this when writing oops

A peaceful sleep was all he needed. He just wanted some rest. Was that so much to ask for these days? He might of woke up on the wrong side of the bed or some shit, but this was just too far. He was finally awoken by the sound of tittering. Within an instant, he was on his feet, mane a complete mess.

Not only was it matted, but it was colored. There were small particles of hair chalk floating through the air as Cosmicknight shook out his mane, grogginess from his sleep fading away. "What the fu-?" He muttered, seeing visions of pink from his peripheral. Oh, god. What the hell did those kids do? He wandered around frantically through his home, trying to find his mirror. The moment he did, he regretted it. Green, pink, and blue hair chalk colored his mane a rainbow of pastels. "Those kids are gonna pay." He growled into the mirror, looking away in shame and running outside immediately.

God, the day barely started and it was being built off of regret. All eyes went to him, the usually dark-colored and intimidating leader, looking like he was going through a pastel goth phase. His mane wasn't the only thing that was pink - his cheeks began to adapt the color within a moment of feeling hot gazes on his pelt.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Someone just disappeared? He frowned slightly. Yet, if there was no sign of struggle he couldn't send out a patrol to find them. Painted could of left on her own accord, simply growing tired of Windclan. Maybe it was family troubles, hell if he knew. He stepped up beside his father and gave the same shake of his head. "Nope." Cos stated stiffly.

ooc | aw, bye! i didn't play with you or painted since i've been here but i played asriel in skyclan and they were friends. hopefully you'll gain muse back, i loved her. <3 good luck!

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Cos usually wouldn't care about a joiner. No, scratch that. He cared, of course. Joiners made his clan stronger and upheld an aspect of excitement and change to a bland life. He just never felt some kind of concern for joiners. They all had their own stories and pasts, but he didn't bother learning. He knew they were fine before him, and they would be fine with him around.

This one was different, he actually felt a little bit of his old self seeping through. The Cosmic before Duskmire, the Cosmic before everything went to shit. He felt concerned. "Yeah, yeah. Are you okay? You look horrible." He asked quickly, looking him up and down and analyzing the bloody nose. Did he see a discoloration of fur? Introductions and business could be dealt with later. A parting of Cosmic's jaws and he knew this wasn't an enemy. The emotions were practically radiating off of Marlowe, anger and confusion and... hurting? Emotionally and physically. It kind of reminded him of himself.

ooc | NINJA'D SO HARD BUT I HAVE NO TIME TO EDIT

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]"God damn it." Cos muttered under his breath, taking a deep breath and lifting his paw to run it through his mane. Fuck, another person was dead. How many did that make in just the past few days? What could he of done to help protect these people? He was angry, angry at himself for letting this happen.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]The dark lion moved forward carefully, sucking a breath of air into his lungs before releasing it quietly. It was always nice to have new joiners around, but it was rather just a cycle. "Cosmicknight. Leader here." He muttered, discreetly shaking out the knots in his mane. No welcome was necessary, it seemed as if the more friendlier of clanmates had done that. Cos stuck around to hear more about this joiner.

[fancypost bgcolor= transparent; border: 0px;][justify]Well, he may as well do something to help his clan. All he had been doing in camp was laying around, anyway, thinking over the day and pondering patrols he didn't want to set up. His muscles were beginning to ache in a form of stress, one that he likely needed to move to work out. It was starting that Cos had been procrastinating. "I'll go."

sorry for the lack of posts today guys, it's been a really rough day (^': i'll catch up tomorrow.