Posts by BLUESROCK.

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Things had been weird for him, ever since... Ever. What had been a picture-perfect childhood was quickly twisted to defying his parents, shying from his dad's touch, sleeping in a treehouse away from camp. He'd ran away from everyone, until he got to this place. And it was weird that he had picked such a barren place to put down his roots. Here, he fell in love, adopted kids, climbed the ranks. On a salt-filled, hot, rough piece of an island, with a bunch of people equally rough. But it was home, and he was content to be the same person that he would have been without them, but it was so much better with these people by his side. Perhaps the strangest part of all of this? He was content. Wholly and honestly content, at least for the moment.

While he tended to draw more with pencils than paint, he'd taken to painting the golden sky in an abandoned room, a brilliant counterpart to the cold, scientific, yet equally brilliant night sky in another room, or the constellations on the ceiling of his room. He had Rafferty back, and Dia was feeling better, and he was feeling like a living thing again. That was good, wasn't it? Some part of him wasn't sure. Was it strange of him to feel like people thought differently of him, now that he was healing? His wounds had never been bared to the universe, but anyone could see them in a limp, or a wince, or the way he bit his tongue. Blues hadn't felt whole for a long time, and he wouldn't feel guilty for feeling the way he did now. He refused to apologize for his happiness.

The feline's paws danced over the keys of the child's piano, slowly and thoughtfully, but decisively and dreamy in the way the notes floated away from him. It wasn't a specific song, yet it reminded him of a lot of things. Younger days, staring up at fairy lights in awe, placing his paw over someone else's, smiling and singing and laughing. He didn't do much of any of that, now, but it felt like he could start, would he decide to. Today was a day of new beginnings.

/ i'm so bad at starters rip i'm sorry
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sylmae thread: http://feralfront.com/index.php?topic=2322795.new#new
relatable

inny, if you could make that would be great! i can feel myself abt to doze off oops ^^;
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goochi that is me 99% of the time lmfao
i understand

do you just ever just
"i should do the thing"
goes to do thing
starts doing thing
... stops doing thing for no discernible reason
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Span. One of his first friends in a long time, and they hadn't talked for... Months. He had no idea what was going on in the ex-leader's life, and to suddenly see her there was a bit startling. Not in a bad way, though. Just... In general. Then she started smearing the paint around, earning herself a wordless cry of protest, laughing and taking a few steps away. "Hey! We can have a paint fight outside this room, alright?" And it already looked like he'd lost, covered in slightly shiny paint. Right. Childish. Blue eyes skirted over Sylmae, ignoring the twist of discomfort at her silence. She didn't have to talk to him if she didn't want to, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with what felt like hatred from her. At Captain Obvious's comment, the leopard snorted and looked down at himself, then shook his head. "Yeah, I am. And your gal's not helping much, in that regard." And, just because he. old, Blues would aim to press one golden paw on the top of Dia's head, just enough to leave an imprint. Hey, it could be washed off pretty easily. "Hm. I can manage with the gold, but I'll need some more white. Know where I can find some?"

/ i accidentally deleted a paragraph rip me so quick edit
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sighs @ self + lack of motivation

awww goochi i know what you mean abt the whole acknowledgement thing. i had the same problem w my characters, but really just. insistence did the trick for me?

i bet chromy started it hm?
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Well, at least it was the sort of time for him to be asleep, if it was three in the morning. Which was good, considering that he kept falling asleep at the worst of times, at least for the last week. Vince sighed in protest, taking a second to lock the door before turning back to the topics at hand. "Pretty sure that can happen. When you're on a lot of drugs." Would he have to take him to the hospital or something? It wasn't like he was in the mood for holding him down until whatever drugs he had in his system passed. What if they reacted badly together? Did he even think about any of that? Knowing him, he already knew from experience. So hopefully this wouldn't go ncotoo badly. Hopefully.

"Considering you were breaking into her house, you kinda deserved that. Maybe even actually being hit." After why Cain and Finn had done to her, anyway? It still made his stomach churn, slightly, but the Admiral didn't comment on it. Last time hadn't gone well, when he got pissed off. It was a generally good idea to avoid a pissed-off Vince, because even though it was rare, it was pretty memorable. First way to piss him off, or at least get him uncomfortable enough that he got snappy? Touching him. Rafferty and Dia were acceptable, everyone else was questionable. And when that became a part of it? Right, yeah, he wasn't really in the mood for being flirted with. Or... Harassed in a flirty manner.

So he sighed and tried to push his arms off of his shoulders, taking a few steps back. Crossing his arms was clearly somewhat defensive, but he does it anyway. "Yeah, you know, I don't find being in love disappointing." It was true, that he had an incredibly focused heart. Nobody else was going to get his attention when Rafferty was in his life. Too bad for Finn, perhaps, as well as all the others who would have loved to have him, but there was no way in hell that he was going to be sorry about it. No. God no. "Why are you - why are you bringing that up?" He could already feel his heartbeat speeding up. Being choked out and then bleeding, watching the world fade. "Of course I remember. I just - I just felt... Sorry, I dunno. I don't even know who it was but I couldn't. I couldn't fight back." It doesn't make sense, that he wouldn't save himself from that person in particular. Maybe it had been the combination of panicked and traumatized. Maybe it was something else.

He didn't want to talk about it.
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Was it strange, that Blues couldn't even say where he came from, anymore? It was partially due to the holes all over his memories, but it was more than that. In the grand scheme of things... It wasn't important. His parents, whatever biological family he'd had. Xeryus had been the closest family he'd had, and that had been adopted family. Through him, the leopard had connections all over the place, and he wasn't even sure if he liked it. If he had the choice, would he erase that? Honestly and truly just be Bluesrock, no last names except perhaps the one he'd give himself? It was something he would have to think on for a long time, of course, but in the end, whatever he'd had then was pale and shallow compared to what this place and the people here gave him. He wasn't sure where he would have gone after leaving here.

But there would have been some other place, and he would have followed that wandering path until the end of him. Or until he found some other place to stay, not to say that it would have been as right as this place was.

"Of course I remember. I think that's when I really got a crush on you." Why's it always so much easier to be open about this kind of thing after the fact? Maybe because he's well-past the crush stage, or because now he can just laugh and kiss him and love him. Or he's just opened up a lot, even if it's just to him. The thing was, he knew, somewhere deep down, that from day one, Rafferty Stormborn was someone important to him. He'd thought that maybe it was because he was a good friend, and there for a lot of his weak moments, but then it was more than that. Then it was touching him for the first time, pressing his head into the same spot he did in the present day. Then it was smiling when he blushed at any compliments, or the comment on his appearance. There was still a question that bothered him, some days.

Why the hell hadn't someone kissed him before? It wasn't at all a new impulse, wanting to kiss him, but at least he gets to act on it, now. Except for these moments, when he's stuck under the sheer strength of his gaze that he simply stands until their mouths meet. And even then, his breath hitches and his eyes close almost on their own accord. Yours, his heart sings in agreement once he pulls back, but all Blues can do is stare at him with a mixture of amusement and amazement, lips quirking into something of a smirk. "You really know how to make a guy's heart skip a bit or two," he chucked, delighted. And Rafferty had gotten ridiculously good at that ridiculously fast, which was absolutely no fair when it was turned on him. Not that he'd ever want it turned on anyone else, oh no, Blues was more than content to take it all.

"But, uh, right. Library. What do you want to start with?" He was right to say that it would take some time. Even more, if he kept distracting him like he did, even unintentionally. And he was definitely okay with that, too.
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"But now it'll look like you're bleeding all over!" What if Malkyn came in or something? He did not want an angry hellhound on his ass because of this. But he just sighed and dealt with the fact that she was apparently going to hug him anyway, smearing the paint farther along his body. "Painting a room in your blood. That's a little... Barbaric." Gross, too, and the leopard took a second to poke at the can of paint. Just to make sure that it was, indeed, paint. It did seem to be, with how it dropped from his paw. Quite unlike blood, except... Eerily similar in a way that would have him scrutinizing paint for a long time. Because now people had colored blood. Did his world have to get any more complicated?

Blue eyes turned warily to Span once more, though there was still a good bit of playfulness beneath them. "Oh I definitely know that. Mm! You remind me of that one volleyball." Would that make sense? If it helped, he was talking about that movie called Castaway or whatever. "But I can see Simba, yeah." If Simba was a scrawny little raccoon, sure. Did they even have lions in the Rift? Recruitment time, then. "Excuse me, we're looking for Simba". If it wasn't clear yet, the Admiral's mind was all over the place, making sense of things and then forgetting what it meant, flipping from topic to topic, person to person, and then -

He looked good in gold. Blues hadn't really expected to blush at something like that, or even be just a little bit flustered, but he was. He just stares for a moment, then grinned easily, laughter on his lips. "I, uh -" Ohgoddammit please think. "You'd look good in gold, too." That was not thinking.

/ rip blues
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same question here jab
i just can't seem to do it
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Oh, well, finally? Blues hadn't heard a thing from ColouredClan since he'd been promoted to leader, even though he constantly sent gifts their way. Perhaps it was just that neither group was big on events. The leopard knew that, so far, the Rift was not. "It's appreciated. So... What's been happening over there for the last... Two months? Three?" Or even before that, really. Looking back, the words could be interpreted as him being rude or sarcastic, but there was a genuine curiosity in his eyes. Did he even know their leader's name? "And thank you for the gifts, too. What did you bring?"
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If Wolfsbane was looking for a nice place to settle down, this was not the place to be, at least it wasn't if he was looking for the typical markers. The people were abrasive and the territory was harsh and hot, the weather was extreme and they were constantly dealing with depression and anger issues. But the people here were loyal to the end, and it would take a lot to lose any trust you gained. So it wasn't filled with white picket fences and charming families with two-point-five kids, but their broken pieces fit together pretty well. They all struggled with addiction, but considering that half of the clan still did drugs regularly... Well, the Admiral would wish him luck. "Mm. Welcome, then. Bluesrock, Admiral, et cetra. Most people just call me Blues, though. Did you need anything? A tour? If you're really worn out, we could just get you some food and a place to crash until later." At least this stranger was straightforward, huh? Blues was fine with verbal fumblings, but he could get annoyed when people purposely danced around him.
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and you yell at me for this
tracking bc blues will be so upset
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It was nice to have Aly around for things like this. He wasn't sure if it would do much for all of them, with how deep some of their wounds ran, but it could be a start, for all he knew. "Sylmae. You're incredibly devoted and motherly. You're a good influence for the kids, here, and I'm grateful for that." He could feel himself tensing as he spoke, quietly and unevenly. There was still tension between them, and the leopard could always... Feel it. Some dislike or something, maybe. But that didn't mean that he wouldn't make note of her best traits and tell her about it. Even if his eyes were still downcast.

/ phone wtf god don't let me post in the mornings anymore
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Blues could understand anger. He could understand anger that went way beyond what was healthy or safe. But never to the point of damaging someone or something. Sure, an angry outburst that ended with you pinning an enemy down was fine. Smashing a plant? Less than fine. Yet he wasn't in any place to judge, having dented his metal leg from one of these outbursts not too long ago. It's not as if Blues could ever claim that he was better able to control his emotions, when more often than not they controlled him. While that in itself wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it could lead to regret after regret down the line. Maybe it was just him projecting his own traits on someone else, but Blues could guess that something in the wreckage meant something to him.

The Admiral didn't say anything for a moment, as everyone else had it covered, but he stood without any clear intention of leaving. "Did you cut yourself on any of that?" He finally murmured, without judgment or ridicule.
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"Do you not like them because you don't like them, or because they're healthy?" Blues questioned as he joined the group, head tilted curiously. Trash seemed like the sort to refuse to like anything relatively healthy, which was... A little childish, actually, but so like him. Childish but carrying the weight of the world. They all had their qualifiers, didn't they? Their odd traits that didn't quite fit with the rest of them? The world sucked. "Where'd you get these? I haven't seen strawberries in... Ages." Traveling days, with a tired bird on his shoulder, showing him a tiny wild plant. The wild strawberries weren't as large as some you could steal from humans, but that didn't make them bad.
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Black sheep? When it came to himself, as far as Blues was concerned, he was the only sheep in his family. Possibly because he had nobody to compare it to, that sort of thing. At least, not any blood relatives. His family was patchwork, spread out across every group he'd been in, and every person he knew, except them. The sharp stab of homesickness twisted in him rather oddly, because he didn't actually want to be back there. He didn't want to know them anymore. But they were still family and they were missing from his life. Was that a big deal? The feline couldn't ask what it was like to care for someone that he continually lost. Besides, in most cases, he was that person people kept losing a grip on. Getting scared and pulling away before anyone could get close to him.

Not Rafferty. Dumbstruck, right from the start. Well, every Stormborn he'd met had left him a little tongue-tied, even if each had their own way of it. He much preferred Rafferty's method, anyway.

"And I wasn't?" He laughed in answer. "You recited poetry to keep me from completely destroying everything I own with rainwater." That had been even before talking with him on the coast, though. Maybe that had been the start of it, really. Trying not to stare at him, letting himself relax to the rhythm of his voice. Remembering poetry in general. "Always made me smile." It had been so strange, to actually let go enough to smile like he did with Rafferty. Reckless and bright, bordering on cheesy. Not what he'd learned to give to everyone else, that short, false smirk. He'd gotten good at hiding everything he thought or felt, but then there had been someone so ridiculously honest. Complete, in his own right. Blues wasn't sure exactly how to describe it, but that abstract idea was the starting point for that warmth in his chest. The leopard hummed softly and shook his head, eyes still on him. "You've had me since you asked if I had a nickname, I think." Know, more like.

Now he's just being sappy, though. Everything Rafferty does has his heart tripping in his chest, his lungs deciding to take a break from their regularly scheduled functioning. "I love you." It's a fact, by now, but he never says it like a fact that he can just repeat whenever he needs to prove something. It's said like he's just realizing it again, because he is. Every day, there's a new reason for it. I love the fact that you remember these sorts of things, too. It's a rush of warmth flooding his throat, leaving him feeling lighter than he had in ages. No matter what sort of things changed in the world, the fact that he loved him never would. Did Blues believe in soulmates? He couldn't quite answer that, but if such a thing existed, he could allow himself to wonder if (hope and believe that) Rafferty was his.

"Making shelves." The feline hummed, or perhaps purred would be the better word, in this instance. It was a soft sort of rumble, from both his throat and chest. "This is so normal. I love it." They weren't off fighting bad guys or getting stuck in terrible situations or anything. No, Rafferty was building shelves and he was painting. "Yeah, 'course I can. What do you want me to do?" What sort of things did you paint on library walls? There were stories to illustrate, or it could be something abstract to make anyone think. Or anything else, really? What did you paint in a library?

/ @phone can u not
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/ rip @ my lateness

This was going to kill him. Literally. Rest in Peace Bluesrock Orion Innocence Caliber Mayella, dead due to pirates. Maybe it was because his kid was his captain and the love of his life was his enemy, and they were trying. Kids were better actors than adults, when it came to fictional tales. He could fake emotions, but not the role he played. "Will ye coming willingly, thief?"
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Blues would admit that he was one of the people who liked Bennet. It could easily be said that the Admiral was just ridiculously sensitive about the words "whore" and "slut", but ever since Talia's beach party, he hadn't quite thought nicely of him. It wasn't something he could ever accept or excuse, even if it was supposed to be a joke. Still, he didn't necessarily dislike him. The leopard was just a little wary about sharing secrets with him, however goofy they were. Still, he passed up, ignoring a particularly harsh click from the metal leg. "I - I don't know if being young means that happens. To anyone." It certainly hadn't to him, but it was best to just not talk about sex around him unless he was really drunk or totally at ease with his company. Surprise, he hadn't had anything to drink in three months and was already definitely not at ease.

"Oh, I dunno. I don't really have many funny secrets." No, they were all either super embarrassing or dark. That was just how his life went. "I dated a girl for like, a day, and then panicked when she tried to kiss me and ran away from home", "I had to sleep around so I could find a place to stay for the night", "I really don't like the fact that everything here is sexual". Yeah, no. "Hm. People used to call me Elvis when I was younger because of this cut mane thing I had." Did that count?
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Right, okay, now that was probably the strangest thing he had ever heard on his border. Seriously. The leopard had been lounging on the coast, letting his body warm in the sun. With how sleepy he'd been lately, nobody could really blame him for just barely dozing off, at least until those words hit him. No, no, that wasn't something he wanted to see. The leopard sighed heavily and rolled to his paws, turning to find the ScarClanners and Bennet already there. "Is this official business or are you just here for fun?"
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Wait wait wait, now this was a mess. First, someone else from ScarClan came to negotiate an alliance. Blues said yes. Then he later learns that it wasn't actually authorized, and that the leader had no interest in pursuing an alliance with them. Now they really do want an alliance? Part of him wants to be scathing and sharp about it, ask if they finally made up their mind, but he figures that they hadn't actually done it on purpose. So Bluesrock allows his mouth to curl into an amused sort of smile, and nods in acknowledgement. "You'll be needing to talk to me, then. I'm Bluesrock. It's nice to meet you both." Bright aqua eyes shifted over to Bennet curiously, head tilted. "I'm always willing to hear what you guys have to say on this stuff, but I can't promise that it will go the way you would like. So what's up? And for you two, who are your current allies and enemies?"
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