Posts by Lucien V.A.J.

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    TAGS ☆彡it'd be peaceful here, wouldn't it? it has been awhile, after all, right? he'd like to say that such thoughts didn't enter his mind, but it weighed so heavily upon him, that he'd be lying to say otherwise. he'd sigh softly, a very natural, saddening sigh that flowed forth without much thought behind it. he'd always been the type to gently sigh, while whimsically looking on. quietly, his eyelids would lower, feminine black lashes colliding with each other as he waited patiently on the border. it wasn't as though he had announced himself yet, and he had half of a mind to simply not do such. he wasn't exactly sleeping on the border, either- just... thinking. silently, calmly, maybe doubtfully. it's been awhile since he had reappeared in society after all, as his real self, and not someone else. it had been fun to try to craft another step in his life that wasn't lucien, but he always went back to his previous state, didn't he?


    opening his eyes, the domestic feline would stretch his shoulders, absentmindedly spreading white, feathered wings. was it obvious that he was nervous? lowering his ligaments carefully down, he'd hesitantly peek forth, beautiful blue-gold gaze traveling across the space in front of him. still, he felt out of place. awkward, nervous, stuck in between. he wasn't a child anymore- so why was he still so... cautious? not exactly afraid of everything, but unwilling to simply put himself out there. some things, truly, did not change. hello... the call is a simplistic thing, soft spoken and almost dreamily said. it was still hard to focus on things, but he was beginning to recover. perhaps now, he'd truly be able to embrace a society and make a new home for himself. (he could dream, could he not?) i'm.. lucien.. his physical and telepathic voice were the same; in fact, he didn't really notice himself using the two interchangeably. j-joining, he'd conclude aloud, awkwardly glancing away. he's gotten better at maintaining eye contact, don't get him wrong, but he was truly out of his element.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡sick, lovely littlekit would hopefully be sick no more. even as he thought as such, it sounded more like a jinx, especially coming from him. his pink nose would wrinkle absentmindedly at the thought, but he'd hold off on expressing such negative things, especially in front of the children. a bit mindlessly, he'd take a seat in the background, curiously watching, but not yet interacting.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡maybe she'll awaken with a hug, the snow leopard would murmur softly, amusement twinged in his absentminded voice. he'd watch over the scene curiously, but from a distance. it always felt as though he was intruding upon mercy's family, when he supposes he was apart of it too.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡shadow veil, the snow leopard would confirm unhelpfully, his telepathic sigh a bit hazy. blinking quietly to himself, blue-gold oculars would flicker over the newcomer curiously, but not unfriendly. welcome. a simple greeting, and that was all he could really offer.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡shadowclan. a bad taste always filled his mouth whenever the name was mentioned, but, as always, he simply attempted to ignore the bitterness. there had been happy memories there, too, he was sure. even if he couldn't remember them. approaching, the snow leopard would attempt to gently pat mercy's shoulder, as if to offer comfort. he knew what those memories did to him, so he could only imagine the pain his daughter felt. i'm dreamdoll, he'd murmur lightly aloud, real voice akin to his telepathic voice.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡granddaughter, the snow leopard would murmur telepathically in greeting, blue-gold oculars washing curiously over lovedove, and mercy, lingering on his own daughter for a moment longer. man, were there a lot of children for her to keep up with. he couldn't help but to relate, considering back in the day mercy had had a lot of siblings- adopted, biological half siblings, he's never been able to say no to a child in need. it was too bad that he had never been as solidly in mercy's life, however. welcome back.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡help, the snow leopard would echo calmly, quietly, in response to hyperion. the old medic has seen a lot of death in his days, and although the child was met with a tragic beginning, he was certain it would only get better from there. blue-gold oculars would curiously trail after ace, before he'd turn his attention to hyperion. bury... where? here, or somewhere else?

    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡the group was practically littered with little granddaughters and grandsons. not that he minded, as mercy has had children in the past, but it was certainly interesting to hopefully be apart of this litter's life. he'd certainly try, but just because he wanted something, it didn't always work out (especially when it came to his luck). approaching quietly, the snow leopard would smile warmly at the children, if a bit absentmindedly. cactus, without the thorns, he'd hum telepathically.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡lucien can't entirely remember if he interacted with cassiopeia, even when she was just a child. lucien had been really busy during that time, practically his whole life. between helping colouredclan, and the plenty of other clans he had decided to dual join in, his time had been consumed. he had never meant to be a distant father to mercy, or an unknown grandfather, to her children, but that was exactly what had become of him. he hadn't wanted to end up like his father, but here he was. ironic, wasn't it? congrats, the snow leopard would intone quietly, leaving it at that. he looked as cass quietly, curiously, sizing her up with intelligent, if sad, blue-gold eyes.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡he was always happy that his home group was still alive and kicking. at least somewhat, compared to the knights of eden. they were long gone, at least thunderclan wasn't; even if they were now the thunderlands. quietly coming to stand beside his daughter, the snow leopard would shift blue-gold eyes onto feliks curiously. he'd say nothing though, figuring it was much easier to be quiet.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡a girl is the first to approach. or maybe a woman now, he isn't too sure. age isn't something he can easily calculate, not that he's ever bothered to try. nowadays, it isn't entirely weird for a child to not actually be a child. such was the way the world worked; confusing, if one asked him. it didn't help his already addled brain, that was for certain. he frowns softly to himself, dully blinking himself out of his thoughts. he tries, somewhat, to focus on what the female was saying. his head tilts, slightly, to the side, an unconscious, mild mannered habit. tinylights, tinylights. he repeats her name, softly to himself, in his head. perhaps if he does it enough times, he'll remember it. he promises nothing, however. he misses some of what she says, but gathers the gist of it. or, so, he hopes. quietly, curiously, blue-gold oculars go past her, and onward, searching for something he doesn't exactly understand.


    perhaps he shouldn't have looked. even as the familiar serval spirit rushed forth, he was frozen. he couldn't have moved, even if he had wanted to. everything, comically, slowed down for him, as it usually did. why did they have to meet, always, at random occurrences such as this? nothing had ever been normal between the two, but still; as usual, frightfur shattered whatever normalcy lucien had ever felt. perhaps their fates were just woven that deeply, that tightly bound together that no matter frightfur was, he'd soon follow. that invisible thread, akin to fate, beckoned. and it beckoned, and beckoned, and beckoned. what was he suppose to do? how could he ever break the entrance he always fell into whenever frightfur was present? unconsciously, a bit wobbly, he takes a half step forward.


    he's weak. and he knows it. the bounds, shackles, of solitude had fallen away because of frightfur, and he's never been the same. but it wasn't a consistent thing; they drifted apart, argued, loud, soft, bodily, verbally. he couldn't entirely change the wild serval, and the other couldn't change him, either; tolerance, acceptance, was that what love was? why, then, did he always feel as though he was failing the other? never enough, just a glorified second place? sadness, anger, shame, jealousy, guilt, everything negative, everything positive, clogs his throat; claws at his heart. as usual, his heart beats again whenever he sees the familiar face, but it simply hurts, too. he couldn't get rid of him, he couldn't replace him, and if best, he could only hope to ignore him. (no matter what he did, he was simply stuck, was he not?)


    he flinches slightly, the only emotional sign he's properly been able to convey in awhile. it's clear, that he's shocked, but his broken pieces weren't entirely scattered. he feels guilty, for wanting to lean into that touch again. angry, at himself, at everything; the emotion is sudden, but sad. he's missed frightfur, he's angry at frightfur, but he's ashamed, that he's still as deeply as in love with the other, as he's always been. was this what they called a draining love, then? a conflicting love, to say the least. he inhales, exhales; the sound of his breathing is soft, but ragged in his own ears. he calms himself down, somehow, blue-gold oculars flickering to the bird. go, he hisses unsteadily at it, and for once, it complies. he watches the blue bird go, hopefully back home. not that he can consider shadow veil home, but at least his daughter was there.


    his attention goes back to tinylights. he isn't sure on how to deal with frightfur, what emotion to convey. had they left on a good note, last time? a sour note? a distant, yearning note? he can only remember the children they shared with yuri. yuri. the name makes his nose wrinkle, slightly, bitter jealousy sparkling slowly in his chest. the other is probably around, lurking; the aristocrat was good at that. whenever he saw frightfur, he saw yuri. just another thing for him to accept, was it not? he had never felt possessive before he met frightfur, but perhaps some of the other's more bad traits had rubbed off on him. he struggles with himself, but, again, he focuses on the unfamiliar female. dreamdoll. he breathes his name quietly, offering a half smile that isn't as warm as it could've been. or.. lucien, he'd amend, stealing a quiet look of frightfur from the corner of his eye. he did not mind such one he was referred to as; dee was use to answering to everything, after all.


    he'd sigh to himself, crouching down slightly to properly look at frightfur. he was suddenly tried; exhausted, emotionally dead. this was why he had decided to be more distant, then in previous lifetimes. hello again, he'd acknowledge the serval, in what he hoped to be a calm voice. it was lame, it was stupid, it was petty. but he didn't know what to say, or where to even put his paws at. around the other, in a hug, or in a choke hold? such, again, was the way of life; or, at least, his.


    ///this turned into a mess LOL


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡despite being a bigger cat, he had always been a smaller feline, usually a domestic feline. smiling down at the kitten, he'd attempt to gently stop her tumble, aiming to rest a firm paw upon her head as he absentmindedly pat her. he wondered, briefly, whose child this was, but decided asking such things was a bit out of the box. not that anything was ever contained with him, but still. blinking lovely blue-gold eyes down at her, he'd offer the kitten a gentle, half smile. as riptide would later explain what telepathy was, he simply would murmur one word to the kitten, a soft, hollow sounding word.sorry. sorry, for giving the small one a fright. he hadn't meant to, after all, it was simply how he was.


    he'd hum, softly, in acknowledgement to riptide's presence. he'd store the other's name away for later, hoping he could at least attempt to remember such a thing. or perhaps his nickname, as it was much shorter then his actual name. technically dreamdoll was also a type of nickname of sorts, considering he both answered to it and lucien, but only people that had been close to him before would know such things. blinking slightly out of an absentminded haze, he'd smile partially to the male, as if to say he honestly didn't mean any harm with his hazy nature. new...? he'd echo the word, before gently shaking his cranium. no, he wasn't new. no, he'd clarify, shortly, if the bodily gesture didn't do it justice. as for where he went, where he was, or what he did, he left all of those a mystery.


    ah, his daughter. his lovely mercy- how she probably hated him, during such times like this. perhaps, however, she had simply inherited his forgiving nature and just had accepted him, flaws and all. it wasn't enough, however, for him to not feel as guilty as he did. there was nothing he could do, no comfort to give, when he didn't even have any for himself. he could only be here, he supposes, in the background, a presence that was neither comforting nor solid. he'd return the gesture of affection halfheartedly, giving the leader his full attention. whereas he might drift away, attention wise with others, he solidly tried to communicate with her. okay. a lie, but one he always gave. some things simply did not change. how are... you? he'd hesitantly turn the question to her, wondering.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts

    TAGS ☆彡dee wasn't very active here. he didn't like, completely wander off or anything, but it was clear he was very secluded from the other members. maybe his daughter would understand the reason as to why, but everyone else probably didn't care enough to know. not that he was the type to give out secrets or whatnot, but this was simply out things were for him. deciding to attempt to be social, or something akin to it, the soft spoken snow leopard would take a seat under some foliage, bravely wishing to interact, no matter how awkward he'd soon become. his lovely blue-gold gaze would narrow partially in thought, absentmindedly messing with some invisible dirty stain upon his white pelt. meet... greet? he'd request telepathically, a message aimed at nothing and nobody in particular. the thought was half finished, and poorly executed, but he tried. dreamdoll, he'd introduce himself aloud, his speaking and telepathic voice not entirely different. the same, soft spoken, slightly melted down tone of a man that was somewhat hanging on. to what, he didn't know.


    telepathy | speech | thoughts