Posts by dunsforhands

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]ayy lmao hi?? im alex ! [they/she woo]

i joined this website awhile ago, but i wasnt really in the best state of mind, so i figured that the best idea would be to take a break until i figured everything out. i still really haven't, but i've gotten a lot better so .-.

i've created a new account and matured severely so hi hello it me alex

basically, im a small space nerd from the united states who really like music and youtube ?? wow really exciting i know

my favorite bands/artists are twenty one pilots, troye sivan, halsey, and the limousines.

my favorite youtubers are, again, troye sivan, dan and phil, connor franta, and benton sorensen.

i consider myself a semi-lit roleplayer, but it all depends on the subject of the roleplay. i believe that i have the most muse apocalyptic/mystery type roleplays, but romance/angst is also another option =p

so yeah uh hmu

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]wow okay someone who likes twenty one pilots and phan

bless your soul

i'm not sure if you are still wanting suggestions/plots, but i have a few bxb ideas in mind .-.

they're more along the lines of mystery/run away-ish type things? i don't mind roleplaying phan or twenty one pilots, or just ocs =p (but if you do want to do top, i'm not sure why but i can't do joshler as a romance, sorry :c)

but yeah, apocalyptic things are also rad .3.

[size=5pt]also josh is looking pretty darn swell in your profile pic wowza[/size]

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]hiya, welcome to ff ^^

i've recently returned from a hiatus, so i know pretty much the basics .-.

i'll gladly be your friend ! cx

hmu if you need help with anything lmao

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]i'm pretty much going through the same thing as you. i was born as a female, but i honestly have no clue if i want to be a female. some days i really just want to cry because i hate my body, other days i'm perfectly fine with it and love 'girly' things.

there are tons of more genders/labels other than boy or girl, and some people don't even use labels at all. some don't use pronouns, and that's perfectly fine. it all depends on how you feel. some feelings fade away, others always stick with you. it all depends on the person and their mindset, honestly.

there are tons of resources out there to help with dysphoria. there are hotlines and support groups, gender therapy and sometimes just the internet. if you are ever feeling upset about this, i highly suggest turning to one of these options.

on youtube, i like to find people going through similar things. it helps me get into a mindset, or help me understand my feelings. there are also some organizations to help with these things.

benton sorensen (youtuber) - benton is a female to male transgender, his channel documents his journey throughout his transition, along with other artsy things. (he's one of my favorites right now ^^)

alex bertie (again, youtuber) - he pretty much does the same as benton, but also discusses other lbgt+ issues

the trevor project - the trevor project is basically an lbgt+ suicide prevention/awareness organization. they have several resources and hotlines, i highly suggest checking them out

hope this helped !

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]yeah, i've been experiencing that a lot lately, especially now that classes have started back up.

like, i'm looking at the instructor and taking in everything that he/she is saying, but then again i'm off in my own little world.

i used to be able to control it, but it's getting really bad. sometimes i'm not even thinking about anything, i'm just spacing out.

my advice to you is to make sure that you are getting enough sleep; that is one of the main reasons why many people - including myself - tend to space out because of lack of sleep. i know for some people it's harder - again, including myself - due to things such as insomnia, but even if this is the case, there are still other ways to make sure that your body is getting enough rest.

i also believe that staying hydrated and eating healthier can help to boost your metabolism. i don't eat nearly as much as i should, nor do i drink enough water, but when i do i am a lot more focused.

and as blue mentioned, attention disorders are also a possibility. i actually think that i have add (attention deficit disorder), but every time i bring it up to my mom, she doesn't really seem to care.

i want to make it clear real quick - add and adhd are two different things. add is attention deficit disorder, when adhd is attention deficit hyperactive disorder. my friend has adhd, and i can confirm that the hyperactive is accurate. she's a lunatic without her medicine.

but yeah, if this continues even after you try some of these things, i suggest that you go see someone about it. there are different resources and things to help, such as medicines and interesting techniques.

hope this helped ^^

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]tbh im the (un *sighs)official ff's troye sivan trash

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]i'm always here if you need to talk to someone - i have a lot of experience with certain topics due to personal experience with many things =p

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]tracking

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 500px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]hello !

like stellar, i've been going through similar things lately. i've dealt with the worst that i believe i could, especially after my anxiety medication was taken away from me. i've just been extremely stressed and worried ever since classes started back up a few weeks ago.

i may not be the best person to give advice, considering that i may not be in the best mental state, but i still want to try to help as much as i can.

motivation is a difficult thing to a get ahold of, and there isn't just one thing that'll magically keep you inspired. it takes time, and it takes encouragement. there are other factors to motivation, such as what you are working on and if you have a deadline. most of these things can trigger stress, therefore you need to learn how to balance everything out. it can take awhile to get ahold of, trust me, but it'll be worth it. in my opinion, everyone is different. it takes different things to make different people feel different things.

key word - different.

make sure that you have enough energy. whether this is by sleeping enough or making sure that you are eating (both of which i rarely do), just make sure that you have energy. you can't really get anywhere without it. another thing that might help is looking for encouragement. possibly by family members, or maybe just online, like right now. if it's something really important to you, then think of what the end result will be. it's cheesy, i know, but just know that it will be worth it once you finish whatever the project is. you could listen to some kind of powerful music, one that really gets to you. for example, when i listen to halsey, i get a lot of motivation to write, although i'm not quite sure why. also, make sure that you are giving yourself breaks in between projects. sometimes, working yourself too hard can really exhaust you, causing things such as procrastination and similar sorts.

now, topic change. anxiety attacks are a pain (literally). they always creep upon you and are triggered by the silliest things, and they are extremely difficult to cope with. again, similar to what stellar said, breathe. trust me, i know that it is hard, but you have to try. breathe in for 4, out for 4, repeat. there are also certain gifs on tumblr that you can breathe to, such as this one, or this. try to focus on those, or again, listen to some music. i'm not sure if it has as large of an impact on you as it does on me, but music is literally my go to when i ever feel upset. just close your eyes and focus on the music; it helps. but try not to listen to heavy-type music, as it might stress you at a tad more. look at bands such as oh wonder or troye sivan, as their music is more on the chill side compared to most music. there are also different kinds of hotlines for these type of things, and depending on the severity of the issue, i would also recommend looking at some of those.

going back to motivation, ways to cheer up varies on the person. to some people, puppy videos do work (not on me, however), and to others, they don't do anything. again, music is something that i usually go to when i feel stressed. each person has different things that they enjoy, so i recommend turning to the things that you like to do. or, you could talk to someone. a family member, friend, anyone really. usually talking to the ones you love can help lift your mood. another option is to take a walk around wherever you are; find new places. distracting yourself with things such as navigating through a new place can help, or maybe going take a different route to work. (i understand how going out into public places or new places in general can trigger anxiety, so if that's the case for you, i wouldn't recommend doing this.)

self esteem is a tad harder to work with, as it's more personal and revolves around everyone's insecurities. try wearing a favorite outfit, or trying a new piece of clothing. it takes work, again, back to motivation, make sure that you are getting enough sleep and eating as much as you should; as it boosts your metabolism, and can also help boost confidence.

and, for time management, i really would help, but that is something that i literally cannot do. you should see my school folders, honestly. a disaster. sorry :c

remember to take care of yourself, because it really will help. if you believe in yourself, things will start looking up. anxiety is a difficult thing to deal with, i know that it's hard. but believe me, things will get better. i love you, and so do many many others, alright?

i hope i helped ^^

[size=5pt]also nice gerard way in your signature B)[/size]

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 500px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]it honestly depends on the person.

i've been diagnosed with social anxiety, but to all my friends (both online and in real life), they never would've guessed. i am pretty sociable (again, both online and in real life), it depends on who i'm talking to. for instance, if it's someone i know personally, i'm completely fine with it. if it's someone i like, or want to be friends with, i tend to hermit myself and fail miserably at befriending said person. eating in front of others, and being called on in classes when i'm in a poor mood can also trigger some anxiety. i also extremely dislike being in crowded places. i'm not sure if you would call that social anxiety, but it does cause panic attacks. i tend to get extremely paranoid in crowded places, or if i'm doing a large presentation.

there are a few ways to deal with this. again, everyone is different, meaning that everyone has different triggers. different triggers can be helped by different things.

of course, one of the options is to see a specialist. i understand that this can cause more anxiety, so it might not be the best option until you are comfortable with it. usually, therapists and psychiatrists can prescribe medication, which really does help (i used to take prozac, but it stopped working and made things worse, so i quit =p).

try to find your happy place. whether thats a thing or person or physical place, whenever you feel stressed, go to that. it helps calm you, trust me. i tend to turn to music whenever i'm upset, but that might be completely different for you. tell yourself to breathe, that it'll be okay.

things can take awhile to get used to, i know, but you'll feel so much better once everything is all figured out. take care, alright?

hope i helped !

[size=6pt]this might not make a lot of sense, i'm really tired right now and i apologize.[/size]

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 350px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]hahahhahah

i'm in some deep *

in short, there's this one girl who's on my team (our school is quite large, so they divide each grade into teams; everyone on alike teams share the same teachers and locker space) who must be new to the school, considering i haven't seen her before this school year. she doesn't seem like someone i would like, but if these feelings are love, then well, i'm in a pickle.

she's in a few of my classes actually - history, english, and she moved to my algebra class yesterday. we also have the same lunch.

she doesn't look like a girl, and everyone thinks that she's trans. she has short hair, the sides shorter than the top, which is bleached. she dresses like a guy and i believe she has a binder, but i do know that she identifies as a girl.

her name is grace, and she has a twin. i've learned that she is the older of the two, and that she's a teacher's pet.

i've caught her staring at me a few (a few meaning many) times, but i'm trying to convince myself that she's just spacing out or so. every now and then we make eye contact, and she smiles at me.

she has a really, really, nice face, i've ought to admit. her voice and laugh sound like an angels, and i've started looking at her more than i have the teacher.

the thing that sucks though, is that i have no idea whatsoever on how to befriend her. i mean, we are probably (??) acquaintances, we are on a first name basis and i talk to her occasionally, but not nearly as much as i want to.

god, it's so stupid, i know. but how do i befriend her, or like, have her see me as a friend? i feel like right now she thinks i'm kinda weird, considering everyone kinda knows about my anxiety and odd interests, and i want to change that.

[size=6pt]please dont tell me to be myself because thats what everyone is telling me and i cant be myself around her because im too anxious so please dont say that lma o sorry[/size]

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 350px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]yoo i really like the second idea !! i have one or two plot ideas but they probably aren't very good lmao

also i've been having low muse lately so i apologize (if for whatever reason you want to roleplay with me) if my posts are bad =p

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 400px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]her name is grace, and she's literally an angel. she has dark brown eyes and short brown hair with a bleached top and her smile, gOD her smile, her laugh.,,,,

i've probably stared at her more than i have any teacher in my life time.

i've spent way too much time analyzing every feature of her face; the way her jaw angles and her posture.

i've learned that she has a twin (named gwen), her birthday is january 12th, she plays soccer and was bullied due to her apperance.

she doesn't seem like someone i would like; she seemed like anyone else before i got to know her. she kinda looks like a guy, with her short hair and flat chest, so i figured that she acted like all the other guys. but i learned she was actually a girl, and that she had a lovely personality. i can't really explain it, but god, she must be something from my dreams.

i honestly feel like i've changed a ton since i met her; i've been trying to change my image, as everyone knows me as the kid with anxiety and likes twenty one pilots (literally that's what everyone knows me for), and it's obviously working. she's started talking to me a lot more, and i've caught her staring at me multiple times. i know she probably is just daydreaming, but i still can't help but think that she may like me back.

but i doubt that'll ever happen.

i accidentally came out to 7 people in the past few weeks. everyone knows that i like someone, and people have been guessing. i told two people yesterday, three today. a few weeks ago i told my best friend, mia, and close friend, peyton. yesterday i told my decent friends, josie and sarah, and today i told both my enemy and closest friend, brady. (i just hate him because he's such a meme and acts like such an idiot around everyone so it kinda ticks me off but oh well he's pretty darn swell) and, on the bus, the two girls who sit next to me guessed, and guessed correctly.

i just really, really hope grace or my parents don't find out.

i'm screwed then.

the way i came out to brady is kinda funny actually. i told him to guess who i liked, because both brady and grace were in the same class as me at the time. i told him that they were in this class, and it wasn't him (i used to like him and he knew lol). he asked me what color hair *he* (he assumed she was a guy) had, and i immediately knew if i told him he would know. i said mixed, because part of it is dyed. he then looked over at grace and i nodded, and goes; "you know she's a girl right?" and i go "yes, i am fully aware of that" him: *whispers* "gayyyyyyy"

no he's not mean about it he's actually really chill and we just continued conversing after that.

ok but now that i've told /no one/ about grace, this is what she's doing to steal my heart.

- her smile
- her laugh
- h ER HAIR
- her voice
- when my english class went to the library and i sat in the back because i was in a bad mood and she came by and sat down next to me for no reason whatsoever
- when she scared me in the hallway after school and started laughing that amazing laugh
- when she came up to me in math and grabbed my journal and started reading a bit of it, and then said "you're a pretty interesting person *smiles*"
- when she had a lovely speech for student council elections (she won)
- when we needed partners to share a picture that we drew with in english and she came running up to me
- when we were doing a stupid art project in history and she asked me what i drew and i showed her and she told me it looked like an ice cream cone (it was a tree smh @ grace) and then she laughed with me
- when i see her in the halls and she smiles at me
- when mia points at her and she's looking right at me
- grace

god im in love

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]hiya, i'm always open to venting !!

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]yoo im alex!!

i currently identify as agender, but i sometimes feel on the more male side, but i'm not quite sure lmao, and i use they/them pronouns

as for sexual orientation, i am a demi-polyromantic asexual (it's a mouthful, i know haha)

i'm currently out to my sister and a few close friends (some because of a crush and i need to talk to people about her lmao), but i don't intend on coming out to my parents for a long long time due to their religious beliefs

i have lots of experience with lbgt+ issues and such, so hmu if you need any help c:

[size=6pt]also hello again heichou god you're everywhere[/size]

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 350px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]@ heichou : (first of all nice avatar) on the first day of this school year, i actually wrote up a note to give to her that asked her about all that stuff, but i ended up not giving it to her because i felt like an idiot and i was kinda rude that day because i was ticked off about school so,, plus whenever people use he/him pronouns she corrects them (not rudely of course), so i believe that she does identify as a female, but expresses as a male. not quite sure lmao

and for the anxiety part, i've kinda overcome that by now. i was just nervous during the first few weeks of school but i got used to it, i'm a tad more social now and she's been initiating conversations so c:

@ blue bottle : i honestly don't think that she likes me back, but ayy you never know. she actually did come up to me and say that i was a pretty interesting person so idk haha

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]ok tru but my parents wouldnt let me so

tpbm is in love with someone c:

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]okay im judt gonna add this in for proofreading because i dont wanna screw up

i wrote this last night because i couldnt sleep and was really bothered, so would this be okay? sorry haha i just really nervous

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 350px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]hiya it me alex how are you

alrighty, so, i haven't really been able to find a roleplay that i actually want to roleplay, so why not make a plotting thread?

things to keep in mind

- i consider myself a semi. advanced to advanced roleplayer; it depends on both the topic and my muse, i can write only a few lines to a few paragraphs.

- i have started school recently, therefore i might not be entirely active. not quite sure.

- i suck at thread writing and introductions

- lastly, i haven't been in the best state of mind lately, so if i stop posting all of a sudden, it's not your fault. i either don't have any muse or i'm just not feeling good

i do;

- bxb
- runaway
- mystery
- apocalyptic
- possibly youtube? like phan or tronnor idk =p

i don't;

- slaves/abuse of ANY kind
- animals
- gxb or gxg (sorry i just can't roleplay girls agh)
- medieval/kingdoms
- magic

so yeah hmu if you're interested :^)

[fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px solid transparent; width: 300px; font-family: arial; color: white; text-align: justify;][sup]ahh sure !! any plot ideas? i have a few, but i'd like to hear what you're thinking first lmao