Posts by subaru s.

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subaru was always mad, so this wasn't really anything different from what was normal. i mean, sure, he hadn't been too angry leading up to triggers of his former rage- a.k.a, his brother showing up on the border to make a fool out of him. but now he seemed to be returning back to a normal that no one in this generation of the tribe knew. subaru sakamaki, the resident grump and angry guy. that was what he was there for. if only his brothers were still around for comedic relief. but kanato had made it very clear that he didn't like it here anymore. which was sad.

"i'm subaru sakamaki. a vizier here, you probably know. i've been around since we were the empire of sartaq, so i've got a ton of stories." the vampire said as he approached, not entirely going near anyone as much as secluding himself a length away from where everyone stood.

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subaru frowned as lily said what she had to say. not go and rescue someone? this went against everything that tsubomi and mary and probably all of his old tribe had taught him. "what? we can't just leave her there! the exiles capture people all the time, and i'll fuck up anyone who decides that they won't give her back. lily, she's ours; i don't know what you're getting at. we have to go get her for that reason." the vampire tried to appeal, not knowing if it'd work. his use of logic wasn't too good after all. subaru usually referred to things as his own property, even though not many knew that much of him, and he was doing it with sutton now just as he had time and time again when other loved tribe members were captured. but he was a sadist, and it was just like him to do so anyhow.

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subaru didn't think that anyone should think good of him at all. naturally inclined towards violence was how he was, constantly wanting to fight or beat someone up. he used to be known for his constantly irritable nature, but he supposed that he hadn't spent enough time letting the newer members get to know him. in response to crow, subaru froze, but every sentence that popped into his head for a good reply he tossed into a mental trash can after dubbing them irrational. sure, he was angry, and didn't want her to tell him off like that, but he had gotten in trouble more than once for just uttering a war cry and socking someone in the jaw, so he wasn't going to go for that one again. "i don't have to be in charge, and i don't want to be in charge. i'm perfectly fine with being a vizier, thank you, crow."

subaru was absolutely livid when he was told that he was stuck in the past. he was sure that sutton thought of people like silentkiss, and reiji, maybe, as well as people of her time, just as he thought about the people that he remembered. they were two different people, and while the vampire tended to be more likely to choose the more violent path of action, there was no way he would let people like his brothers and his old pharaohs used against him. "at least being in here longer than you gives me a little more insight than you might have, so fuck what you both think is rationality. we were never quick to start a fight, but we were never late to get revenge, or even justice, or whatever you'd say." the tribe, he was sure, had never started fights, but he remembered when they were at war with darkclan, and before that, the tribe of burning eclipse. one murder and they had gone to talk to them about it. two and there was a raid. a battle, maybe, and they would win. he didn't understand why everyone was against justice for their dead tribe mates.

but after a brief pause, he shook his head. "this argument is going to go the same way every time we have it, so we might as well not have it at all." subaru said, and with that, he spun around and began to pad away. he wasn't too happy to be defied like that, and his old means of defense couldn't be carried out while sutton was pharaoh, because even though crow's words had annoyed him, sutton's had stung. stuck in the past... that couldn't be him.

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as the vizier approached, he quickly caught wind of what was going on, and stared around as if looking for a certain face. but hardcandy didn't show up too much except for when he was feeling down and needed her emotional support, so he supposed that for something presumably 'fun' she probably wouldn't want to embarrass him publicly. actually, it was more like him than a lot of things to be embarrassed... since he was tsundere. this was a game built to shame tsundere people, probably. "oh god... this game," the vizier said as he approached, already feeling a wave of heat cross his cheeks. there were so many girls in the tribe too... he was doomed.

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i realized that there were a lot of girls in the group so what if they held a sleepover and put a no boys allowed sign out there, and they had like a pillow fight and stuff lol
and they screamed at all the dudes who came close to the party station

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as sutton called out to the members of the tribe, the vizier was there, his expression not calm and collected so much as it was irritable. he was really up to his old tricks again if he was going to be like this. the male could already imagine himself doing everything he used to, jut without the harsh word of him being the same as his brothers. these people didn't know about them, and so there was no relation he could be afraid of the tribe making between them anymore.

but now there was no excuse for him and he knew that for sure. his anger had nothing to do with being a sakamaki now. it was different, still twisted and disgusting as it had been, but now he was just angry because he didn't have someone to blame for his mistakes. he could blame sutton, or the rift, and that was working for now, but he didn't have much to go on with that. he could also blame lily, but her position was clear in what was going on between the pharaoh and the heir.

she had told sutton to step down. and while subaru was not entirely sure that it should have gotten this far, he frowned upon sutton's words. if something and was happening, it was his opinion that it should be taken upon for action instead of waiting for things. in the case that sutton did not want to fight the rift, he did not approve of her decision. numbers or no, anything to get back at them would have been enough or him, but now it was being taken too far, and both sutton and lily, whom were once really good friends as far as he knew, were now at war with each other, just because of clashing beliefs. the vampire said nothing as she summarized the heir's speech a little earlier, bu when she went on to announce demotions and promotions, he seemed to show at least a little bit more interest.

"congrats, maggie. you deserve it." the male congratulated, his red eyes resting on her form. the lynx was rather... well, he wasn't too sure of the right word for her, other than maybe childish, but he supposed that having a kind of person like that amongst them was good. even if he didn't smile when she tried to make him.

and then sutton carried on once more to talk about how everyone who wasn't on her side were bad and all that, but he didn't care. subaru wasn't that good at being rational in the first place, but safety was, in his opinion, out the window when their lives were being threatened by the rift every day. so he wasn't very happy with the pharaoh as it was, and that might be how it stayed. after they were dismissed, the vizier turned and left without another word. yeah, it was very in his nature to be angry, and he might have thought that it would be easily understood at one time.

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ah, yes, there it was- with all that was announced, subaru had been forced to pick a side, although he had never really wanted to go against either leader nor heir. he had always seen disagreements between friends but sutton and lily had been all too close, and so their argument over views had been a little harsh. his choice? he wouldn't want to see sutton step down, but he had already said mean things. his need to be on fair sides of both of them was being torn apart, and he wasn't sure who to follow. maybe it was the approach of another full moon that was making him feel so inclined to rage and blood intake, but the vampire knew in the end who he was going to be following. ad the heir turned to leave, the vizier stood and followed her, his gaze guarded, and he said nothing. he didn't agree, he didn't disagree, but he knew that something had to be done about the rift, so that was how it was going to be. he wondered what side mikasa would have chosen, since she always had a level head about her. of course, he would have taken to any side she did, but since she hadn't chosen, he had to do it himself. mentally sighing at the thought, subaru just continued on, hoping that something good at least would come out of this.

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"yeah, i know how, and you should be lucky you don't- its a nightmare," the vizier replied, finding her smile to be a bit unnerving to say the least. this all seemed to be a bit pinpointed towards him, but he thought that every time this game was broken out, so that was simply a given for him. maggie seemed to be enjoying it though, so he'd try not to back out or run away as he had numerous times.

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while subaru could agree that the weather here sucked, it was true that he was a vampire and the heat here actually made him feel really bad, which was one of the reasons why his attitude was bad all the time, but he wasn't going to let many in on that, since it was a simple deduction in his mind. on the other hand, the scent of this stranger was on the vizier's mind as he approached, and stepped closer to him than maggie was, in fact giving her a look to stand back. "who are you, and what's your business here?" subaru asked, his eyes narrowed. anyone who smelled like the rift deserved the same question to be asked twice, he supposed.

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...was he anything short of a monster?

probably not, at least in his own opinion. as far as things went with the vampire, he was twisted. his very being was disgusting, tainted, his state of mind not even in the right most of the time. and to top it off, at the end o every month, the full moon shined brightly, sharpening his senses, heightening his aggression, making his list for blood at its peak. and yet he isolated himself, from lily, from sutton, from crow, will, and maggie as well as everyone else he knew. most of all, he his himself from mikasa, or hardcandy as she went by now. lots of times, he locked himself in his coffin and willed his super strength not to work, and when the moon hit the highest spot that it would in the sky, he would band on the lid, screeching and screeching as if someone would hear him and let him out. but in the back of his mind, he knew that he was the one who had done thus to himself. he knew that it was the very improper action of himself that had him in there, away from many things such as his knife or the key he constantly wore around his neck.

other times, subaru would teleport to a rose garden full of the flowers that were touched with no color but for white. he knew that he had to let out his fury some way, and that it always worked to let his gaze cloud as he unintentionally blacked out into a spitting rage, by the time he was done the garden destroyed beyond revival point. and yet in three months' time it was all fixed again, new ones planted and ready to feel his wrath once more. he didn't know if they were there to taunt him, but he always found some sort of solace within utterly destroying something that felt so pure to most people. and he always thought about the meaning behind a wilted rose, that thought alone the trigger to his bursts of rage.

and then there was the distaste he felt when he actually did go out to get blood, because this was one of the last options he had. when he was weak with thirst, his paws and body shaking from not drinking in so long, that was the day he committed accidental muder, his super strength doing many different things depending on occasion. one time he had crushed a small loner. another time he had tried to pin one down, and their refusal to be sucked had ended up in him breaking their neck. others weren't let off so easily. they had to go through the agony of having every last drop of the metallic substance drained out of their very being, but at least anemia had them unconscious for the worst part of it. the taste of their blood even after that was so disgusting that he couldn't help but do something that he had only done once before in front of former tribe mates of his.

that, of course, would be to immediately rid himself of everything he had ingested, before the next day came and he was unable to move or speak without gagging and having nausea. if he didn't throw it back up, he couldn't try to seem at least halfway decent around the clanmates that didn't know this side of him. they didn't have to know that he was really the worst of them all. they only knew him as the 'grumpy' or 'quiet' guy, but that was not the truth. he was angry, irritated, and always ready to get into a scuffle. ready to suck blood but also to earn it, even if he liked to press things, since he was a very eager type of person. and he couldn't really help that, but he knew that this secret couldn't be hidden for long.

for it was on this very day (or night), that the light of such an aforementioned full moon to be shining brightly in the sky, and the feline would be panting, his own bloodstained underbelly, paws, and mouth considered nothing to the body that was under him. his eyes were wide and his breathing quick. he'd done it again.... what would he do? there was no one here that he could blame, no one but himself. in his mouth was his silver knife, so far unscathed and untattered with the thick red liquid that splattered all around him. he hadn't used it yet, since it wasn't really smart to use it on something stupid like a loner. no, such a knife was for killing people like him. monsters. vampires. he was utterly ashamed. and panicking. this was a huge problem, and he didn't have the time, the powers, or the power in numbers to clean up. he couldn't blame it on ayato this time. he could only say it was he himself that felt bad, that felt angry, enough to kill a wanderer that no one knew.

this was all his fault. everything was.

/i typed this on mobile, so please excuse any mistakes (:

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even if the feline had decided to side with lily, there were many things that he disagreed with her for thinking, one of those being not going to get the pharaoh. "sutton, are you al-?" he had begun to ask her the question, but lots had beaten him to it, so he stopped to listen. when the news of the kits being lost hit his ears, he wasn't sure what to think. any life lost wasn't worth it, even though the idea of them existing wasn't very favorable. but he didn't speak, finding that anything he said miht be used against him. on the other hand, the vizier instead took to saying, "i wanted to rescue you too." in a very vague way. it was one of the few times that he had obeyed a higher uo when lily told him not to go, and be hadn't known why he had. perhaps her reasoning had been understandable to him.

he still felt like an outsider to the conversation, though. he didn't agree with sutton at all all, and felt like she was having a huge disposition here. then again, he was a very angry guy.

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even if subaru was a complete jerk, he would still try at the very least to protect his tribe mates, even if he had been called old and didn't like that notion; making maggie stand bac was just in case spring was here to hurt people, and he knew it wasn't the first time that someone had shorn up to a border looking for a fight. he knew how to deal with it, but when the news hit him that she was here for lily, he was rather.... surprised. something like that was pretty rare in itself, but he couldn't say he was bugged by it.

but, as it went, this stranger, springwater, was telling him that she was on the same side he was on. even if there were many around them two that were not, the air seemed to get more and more hostile. "no. if lily's expecting you, and its not for anything bad, then i can accompany you." but even if she was related to callalily, he was very unclear as to the reason why lily had called for her to come, but that answer seemed to come to him before he knew it. just after sutton and the others were telling her off, she said something along the lines of not belonging to the rift, even though she had somewhat been born and raised there. and that spoke to him a little bit, seeing as the family hr had been around had constantly been associated with him, even if he was different and tried at best not to be like them. and if this person was feeling the same way, then in such a case was the only reason why he was going to do what he was about to do.

for no sooner than she took off did he follow after her, and if his speed wasn't enough he would use his super strength to better his stride. had he decide to go against the feline, then he would certainly have put his heart and determination into bringing her down. but subaru had decided to pity this person, not because they were trying to go against their own group or the pharaoh, but because they were just like him. somewhat. (which made it kind of sad in his own opinion that people got his motives wrong.) "you've got guts, but do you know where you're going?" the feline growled, his voice raising so she could hear him.

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it wasn't tough at all to hear the cries of a tribemate, at least not to subaru, but at maggie's call the vizier was there, whether he teleported or ran not very important. the person that she was looking at smelled as though they were of the tribe, but their actions were not very loyal to them. it seemed as if this member was keen intently on attacking members of lily's side so far, but he tried to ignore that. charging in their direction, the vampire attempted to use his super strength to knock pollux away from his tribemate, and if he succeeded, to back up and ask, "hey, what the fuck are you doing?" whose side was this person on? not his, it seemed. of anything he would be thinking that someone put them up to this, but that much he couldn't wra around his head just yet.

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he was frozen in time. stopped fully, his breathing ragged. how could he have done this...? bu he knew how. he knew why. he knew every detail to the last second how he had taken down this loner and muffled theirnpained screams all the way until hey had stopped completely. how he had drained their blood until they were pale and slightly odd looking with their shriveled up skin. he knew all of this because people like him... they calculated things like that. even i subaru had done it somewhat blindly and instinctively, he had come to believe that he was the worst sort of person if he could do this. and he could, since he had done it before. this was horrible.

but the worst thing about this could be considerably that he had warned maggie about things like this, and people like him, but she had still decided to believe in him. subaru was always selling a product that he didn't believe in, and now that he was faced with someone finding out about all the tings that he could do, he felt like he was having a deja vu. everyone had thought good of him back when he had first joined, too. but then somethin' like this had to go and happen, and he was stuck again. stuck with distrust from everyone, even himself. and he wasn't too sure that he could just walk away and disappear as he had before, since he had things to do here. he didn't want to leave, because he loved the tribe and would forever be loyal to it, but if he were to be honest with himself...the was a danger, wasn't he? and not just to wandering members that he hardly ever talked to, but to the people that thought he could be a good person, when he just wasn't. it was sad, but the truth, and he didn't know what he could do about it. probably nothing.

"hey, subaru!"

he wasn't ready. subaru's mind kept repeating that fact to him, and he flinched when his name was called out by the one person he didn't want to see that night. maggie. his eyes widened and his mouth fell open, making his snife drop into the pool of blood beneath him. "n-no-" he couldn't really say much, and it all came out in a weak stutter. subaru after started to cough loudly, as if there was something stuck in his throat. and there was, rather; he started to vomit up a little bit of the metallic liquid that he had taken in, his legs trembling just a little as he did so. but maggie was long gone, and his senses were befuddled now that he had done something he shouldn't have. he was tired, but also wide awake. he was cold, but also warm. he was a monster.... but also a living being, even if he refused to believe that for himself. but that was natural. the feline had never once admitted to himself that he could be more than everyone had said he was.

the feline groaned as she left, feeling many emotions. he was confused, he was angry, he was sad. but with his extended senses, he could hear her talking to herself, but just barely. did she still believe in him? even now he felt like she should have heeded his warning and stayed away from him, even if he did one or two nice things here and there. if he did things like this, then he was certainly someone who couldn't be trusted.... so why did she still try to be around him? why did anyone even halfway take him seriously? he could never be sure, but as thing stood now, he was sure that he would have to build up trust again, just as he had before. and who knew how long that would take now, as well, with the civil war. he was already on everyone's shitlist.

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subaru felt as though it was very awkward around here, and even though he didn't really like parties, the prospect of seeing a certain face or two there was too great, so he decided to go without much thought. "thanks for the invite,"

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subaru wasn't wearing a costume, but if anyone asked he could just say he was dressed up as a vampire and flash his teeth or something. it was the truth, though he wasn't exactly dressing up as one. being a vampire was his every day. the vizier gave a nod to lily but walked past her, escaping to an unsociable corner. why was he even here...?

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well, of course he had thought that she might follow him around, but of course she actually did. he had told her to stay away, and she had seen something that he'd rather she didn't, but she couldn't stay away for long, could she? "hey," the feline replied simply as she greeted him, although at her question, he wasn't so keen on telling the truth. he didn't like socializing, but he was tired of sitting round and watching two half of his tribe go at it after being gone for a month and a half. but he supposed that a lot had changed while he was gone, even though accepting such a thing was oddly horrifying to say the least. "talking to people is just troubling. you have to go through personal information and then the topics get awkward eventually. it takes too much time, and i don't have much to say anyway." that was what came out instead, the vizier facing the lynx with his usual grumpy expression. it wasn't as if he'd had a perfectly great time at a party before, though- he'd been introduced to lots of people he didn't know by his brother ayato, but he was far too awkward to hold a conversation for long, especially with girls.

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subaru was just like crow, in a way. but he was sure that she hid herself better than he did if he couldn't tell that she was so emotionally unstable. of course he knew the mortem name, and while his name was lesser known, at least older tribe members that blood and sakamaki's went hand in hand. their former leader before silentkiss and elise, reiji- he had held himself highly and had gotten around being perceived as evil, even though he was just like them. he had used the distrust held against subaru, ayato, and kanato in order to gain popularity. to the vampire, at least. his thoughts were always very odd, and he couldn't help it.

he also wasn't going to admit the real reason he walked in right now, even if his actions would say all the information needed. subaru's gaze trailed instantaneously to maggie's partially bleeding foot, wondering why she had been cut, but when he saw the knife he only managed to be confused. "how did you get that?" the vizier said, ignoring previous parts o the conversation that he might have heard parts of, but not all of it, on his way over.

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subaru would probably figure it out after she didn't come back for a day or two, because he would just be guessing for the first bit that she was just out when he dint see her. he never really talked to many people anyway.

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"why are you talking like that?" the vizier asked as he padded over, his head tipped to one side. he was severely creeped out, thinking that he hadn't seen it before, but he probably had, just hadn't remembered it at all. "ah, forget it. what's your name and business on tribe territory?" subaru, although not entirely meaning it, seemed to have his angry vibe about him as he spoke.