Posts by takumi.

[align=center][img width=477]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g1zq8joR1r2t74lo1_500.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;] it shouldn't have came as such a surprise to me when the second i slumped against the crimson-haired man beside me, his arms shot out to snake around my waist, nuzzling his cheek onto the top of my head. my hair probably smelled like sweat and grease, but at that moment i really didn't care. it was obvious he didn't, either. gee's simple gesture of wrapping his body around me to hold my bones up and keep my ribs from collapsing in a concave mess around my heart sent me to shaking again. i guess it was from the alcohol. the excess with which i drank it caused me to get the shakes a lot more easier and frequently than what was considered normal.

squeezing my eyes shut and snuggling deeper into the warmth of his side, i took a deep breath, letting his words reverberate in my skull as i peered ahead, trying to focus on how exactly i should voice all the pent-up emotions and words bouncing in my throat. the force of everything i wanted to say pressed at the back of my esophagus, and i swallowed the lump forming in my throat, trying to force them back down and collect myself before i just broke and spilled every thought and feeling that ravaged my brain and heart during the years since the band split. i wouldn't shove that all onto gerard in his vulnerable state; i couldn't. i knew how he was. hell, what kind of best friend would i be if i didn't know exactly what made him fall into emotional turmoil? i hadn't seen him in years, but that didn't mean i was completely clueless on how to approach touchy subjects with him.

"gerard, do you remember the way you felt the first time you were on stage as the front man of my chemical romance?" i asked quietly, softly, as if i was speaking to a scared young animal caught in a trap in the middle of nowhere. lost and alone with nowhere to go. i pulled away, albeit reluctantly, from his embrace and got to my feet. swinging around on the heels of my worn sneakers to face him, i plopped down on the edge of the coffee table, propping my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. that was a perk of being abnormally small; at least i couldn't flip coffee tables. i stared down at my feet for a second, bringing back the memory of the night i'd first seen him, ray, mikey, and matt perform live. it was such a long fucking time ago, but the memory was clear as day. i had been scoping out the local jersey scene to see who pencey prep's competition would be, and i had gotten wind of a new punk outfit playing at the coli warehouse on 48th street. all the local bands that played at that warehouse were shit, usually, so i didn't have high hopes for the band as i managed to sneak in through a back alleyway instead of paying upfront.

the first thing i should have taken note of was how packed the place was, just for a local band. i found it odd, because usually there were never more then fifty or so people lining the floor in front of the collapsing stage, wooden beams caving in on themselves and crappy lighting flickering and sending sparks every few seconds. instead, the place was almost full to the brim, drunken laughter and chatter filling the air, and i had been dumbstruck. i knew i was in for an experience then, but i still don't think i ever got over seeing them jump onstage for the first time. "you were all drunk and wild. like four teenagers at their first summer rave party. you had the most intense stage presence i could ever recall seeing, and the way you worked the crowd was intoxicating. hell, i felt like i was drunk myself just watching you guys. then you started singing, and oh god gerard, your voice was so fucking raw and powerful, like, you don't even understand how many hearts and minds you touched that day. i should know. i was one of them." my voice was fervent and smoky as i trained my eyes on his, trying to convey emotion through my gaze clenching and unclenching my fists in my lap. "i did my damnedest to book a venue where i knew you guys would be playing after that, even though the pencey guys didn't quite like the 'lower-class' venues we were playing at. i didn't give a shit. you guys were an enigmatic bundle of fucking electricity and i was going to get to know you, see how your minds worked and how you treated the experience of being in a band. i knew i belonged there with you guys. i fell in love with my chemical romance the first time i heard it, and you and i both know so many others out there did when they first heard us, too."

my voice and body trembling, i got to my feet and mopped a hand through my hair, feeling my ebony fringe flop over my eyes but barely even noticing as i began to pace the carpet, feeling all that emotion i'd wanted to keep pent up beginning to seep forth into my tone of voice. "my chemical romance was always something to be proud of, a force to be reckoned with. hell, we won awards over linkin park and the killers. the killers, gerard! that band is fucking killer. the reason we got as far as we did is because all of us put our goddamn hearts and souls into the music we wrote and the way we performed it, in a way not a lot of other bands did, or do!" my arms flung up into the air, but not in an angry or frustrating or menacing way. i was feeling fifty different things rocketing around throughout my body and i laughed, turning to face gerard with a cheek-splitting grin. "after danger days, goddamn, i was so pumped! so were ray and mikey. i remember all of us sitting out on the balcony of star rocks hotel the night after we officially released the album, and we talked for hours about new material and new venues and how much we wanted to refurnish or tour bus and how we were planning to go to england or australia for our next world tour. things were looking up."

the smile fell from my face, and i tilted my head at gerard, scooping fistfuls of my hair into my hands to hold it out of my face momentarily. suddenly, all of the strength from earlier just left my body like a receding tidal wave and i sighed, rubbing a hand over my face and walking over to collapse next to gerard again. "i truly believe no one spoke up because we all knew something was bothering you. we saw that maybe a break would get you out of your slump and you could make a comeback better than ever. no one thought it would end up like this...but gee, everyone loves you." i turned my head to meet his gaze one last time, reaching out to envelop one of his cold, clammy hands in my own. i squeezed it tightly, biting my lip and trying to make him see. "ray loves you. gerard, he could barely hurt a fly. you know he'll be on board all the way if you just talk to him, explain to him what's going on inside your head. mikey loves you. he's your brother, gerard. he'll probably be pissed if you go talk to him, but he understands you in a way no one else can ever hope to understand you because he's your blood. he will get it, i know he will. and me...i love you. so, so much. you're my best friend and i know being without the band right now is putting you through hell and it's killing me. i know you still have something left in you. we all have something left in us." i clasped my free hand around his other hand pulling them into my lap and playing with his fingers, gazing down at the slender appendages and feeling them tremble slightly in my grasp.

"why not go chase that fire one last time?"

(( shit shit SHIT i rambled so much ugh i didn't mean to go off on a tangent like this apologies apologies ;-; ))

[align=center][img width=477]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g1zq8joR1r2t74lo1_500.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;] it was astounding, sitting here watching gerard shake and stumble over his words, how much of a misconception people had about him. i couldn't blame them, though. he was always loud and eccentric and confident and borderline cocky during shows and interviews (i mean, this was the man who masturbated on stage with a boa for christ's sake) and gave off the vibe of someone who was completely pulled together and knew exactly what he was doing. but here, hands clasped in mine and wide, beautiful hazel eyes scared and unsure, it just drove the point home how little of his true self he showed to the world. i loved the crazy, hyper singer that bounced around onstage and talked about cutting off the heads of unicorns to the crowd, the gerard that swung around the tour bus and jumped on ray's back with a cup of coffee in his hand smelling like b.o. and ranting about social inequality while the frizzy-haired man carried him in a piggyback around the bus until he dumped him off into my lap on the couch because he was sick of gerard playing with his hair.

but i also loved this gerard. the vulnerable, emotional man that spilled his heart and soul out to me, expecting me to keep his secrets and his insecurities under lock and key, and that i always would do. i loved the scared uncertainty that he was willing to show to me, and i loved how much i wanted to take that away and help him until he got so annoyed with my presence he kicked me out of his house. i wanted to make him feel important and loved and confident, and i slipped my arms around his neck as he finished talking. fuck, i hadn't been this touchy with anyone in a long time. what a surprise that it was only with gerard i was like this. "i promise, gee. cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. i will do anything as long as it makes you happy," i spoke, my voice cracking, as i pulled away from him to look him in the eye. i kept my hands on his shoulders, massaging them gently in my fingers, feeling the muscles twitch and bones crack under the pressure i was exerting on his tense deltoids. i meant it. i meant every goddamn word i said. i didn't think about how hard it would be to not turn to the knife, or the drink, or the pills. i didn't think about the struggle both of us would be facing as we tried to overcome the haunting demons that crawled around our heads and nested in our hearts. all i thought about was that gerard was going to try. he was going to try to get better, he was going to try the band again, he was going to try to bring back the inferno that had once been alive and well inside of him. he was going to try, and my heart swelled and the largest grin i had ever grinned in the past three years split across my lips.

"i can't say i understand completely everything that you're going through, 'cause i don't. you know i've never been one to lie to you. i tell it how it is," i smirked, a playful hint dancing in my gaze before i turned serious again. "life is about taking risks. you know this, i mean hell, you've taken some of the biggest risks out of anyone i've ever known. but those risks paid off, didn't they? i'm here for you, gee. i promise. we're all here for you. i'm gonna bust my ass trying to help you find the fire that makes you you, gerard arthur way. to help you see that this is worth it. i know it is. it's that gut feeling deep inside my stomach, that kinda feels like indigestion but i take my pills for that so i know it isn't," i chuckled slightly under my breath, letting my hands fall from his shoulders and instead aiming to snuggle into his side again. damn, this man was like a huge, warm halo of comfort.

"i just...i don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do. unless this is still your dream, i don't want to make you go back out there and face everything unless it's what you really want." i looked up at him, tracing slow circles into his arm and smushing my face up against his bicep, watching my slender finger trace words i hoped gerard wasn't paying enough attention to to feel. "you've got the support to get you there. but is that where you want to be?" i asked, a plea for honesty in my voice. i'm not going to lie; it would break my heart into a million pieces if gerard said this isn't what he was looking for. that the band was over and done with and he didn't feel any spark or dying ember inside him that was left over from the band's glory days. but, putting it all into perspective, it really didn't matter. as long as gerard was happy, i was happy.

(( yooo i'm loving this so far but i'm not too sure where to take it from here?? ))

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;] TRACKING! will delete if needed~
eyes on the guitarist for violet avenue.

[align=center][img width=477]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g1zq8joR1r2t74lo1_500.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]peering up at gerard through my eyelashes and seeing that soft, adorable little smile on his plush pink lips made it all worth it. all the pain i'd endured and the struggle i'd dealt with to get to this point, it was all worth it just to see that smile on his face. it was the perfect smile. one that was small and meaningful and conveyed everything that i couldn't see in the waves of emotion rippling in his eyes. i wanted to drink it up, get drunk on that image instead of cheap beer and whiskey. it was a much more satisfying feeling than alcoholic intoxication, that much was glaringly obvious. feeling his fingers run through my hair as he smiled made my eyes slip shut and a contented smile dance across my own lips. i definitely didn't expect this night to draw to a close in such a blissful way, but damn, i wasn't complaining.

my eyes snapped open at his question. what the hell? i sat up, looking at him confusedly. "did you really just ask that?" i questioned disbelievingly, an eyebrow quirking up nearly into my mess of a hairline as i stared dumbfoundedly at him. "gerard...i've wanted this since the day the band split. i wanted this through every second of my attempted solo project and every second of my downward spiral after that. i just never had the courage to say anything or bring anything up to any of you guys until now. i want this so much my heart feels like it's about to fucking explode," my voice trailed off as i ran a hand through my hair, shaking my head and flopping back on the couch. "i can't believe we're really fucking doing this, gee," i mumbled, my voice muffled as my hand came down from my forehead to cover my face.

so many weeks, months, years of wishing this day would come and it was finally here. the way gerard spoke earlier, bringing up our crazy antics and goofing around the studio and the fans singing the words back to us, the way his voice radiated passion and want, in the simplest sense of the word, cemented it permanently into my head that gerard really had wanted this all along. he was just scared, and i didn't blame him. this was a huge step, and i'd be damned if i wasn't there the whole way. next step: convince ray and mikey. ray was no trouble, and i knew that after some brotherly connection mikey would be on board as well. they were my best friends, too. letting my hand slip down my face, i peered through blurry eyes at gerard's face, sucking my lip ring into my mouth tiredly. "can i please crash here for the night gee? i'm way too fucking tired to catch a bus home for the night," i groaned, flopping my head back against the arm of the couch and knowing that he wasn't going to say no. still good to ask for precautionary measures, though.

(( i think we should totally time-skip to right before they get onstage for their first reunion show, where they're just playing a conglomeration of songs from all four of their studio albums, and just rp a couple moments onstage and offstage and WOOO then studio time, along with some other little plotlets we can throw into the rp during the time it takes for them to write and record their new material c; and yaaayy we can totally share mikey and ray as side characters now lol ))

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]i have a boyfriend, and god, i love him so much. but lately i've been noticing that i don't want to do anything with him, whether sexually or just intimate physical contact like kissing/holding hands and stuff like that. now i've always known i was pansexual, for lack of a better word. i hate classifying sexuality, but that's a rant for another time. anyways, there was no big 'coming out' thing for me or any epiphany or realization, i just always knew that i was attracted to anyone that was attractive and/or treated me good, regardless of gender/gender identity/any of that other crap.

i've been with him for ten and a half months now and was close with him for eight or so months before that. it's just, i find it hard to be intimate with him. i feel used, in all honesty, even though i have absolutely no reason to feel used. he treats me really good and is such a sweetheart to me, but being close to him for long periods of time squicks me out, as well as doing anything with him. i have absolutely no problem doing that with girls, though, which is weird. am i just outgrowing my boyfriend, is this just a weird thing that some people feel when being with someone for a long period of time, or am i just starting to lean more towards girls, over anything? it's making me feel like utter crap and i just want some advice.

[align=center][img width=477]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g1zq8joR1r2t74lo1_500.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]i couldn't believe it. i legitimately couldn't believe i was about to go onstage again as the rhythm guitarist for my chemical romance for the first time in years. my mind still hadn't fully processed the information until i woke up that morning and the biggest wave of anxiety crashed over me to the point i ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. i hadn't eaten anything outside of the occasional half-bowl of broth for the past four days, and i knew i couldn't run on that for the show, but i just couldn't bring myself to eat a decent breakfast. so i poured myself a giant cup of coffee and downed a handful of anxiety pills until i felt better. i tried not to think of how disappointed and devastated gerard would be if he found the multitudes of pills lying around my apartment.

they really helped, though. i felt jittery excitement coursing through my veins, making my fingers and lips tremble, but little to no nervousness was intertwined with it as i tuned my guitar backstage. it was wonderful to feel one hundred percent pumped and ready to go, and not falling apart with nerves like everyone else seemed to be doing. mikey was stone-faced and curled up on the backstage couch, bass guitar across his lap and dead to the world as he strummed. i knew mikey, that hard-headed bastard, and i knew he was just as excited as i was. he was just trying to put up a mature front, being the big married man out of us all. ray was always calm and collected, the glue that had held us all together over the past few weeks of rehearsal for the reunion concert. his excitement was evident in the skip in his step as he walked around mikey's couch with his guitar, and in the way his hair seemed ten times more frizzy than normal.

no one was as bad as gerard, though. i glanced over at him every chance i got, noting the way i could see his entire body shaking from where i stood halfway across the room and saw the terror filling his eyes whenever he wandered near the curtain. he wasn't keeping still, pacing back and forth, a typical sign of gee's nerves. i wanted to walk up and comfort him so badly, make him feel confident and ok and better, but i figured he probably wanted to be left alone for the last few minutes we had before hitting the stage. he was going to need the alone time more than the rest of us three.

the fans' response had been absolutely mindblowing. everyone flipped their goddamn shit, and i had taken to updating twitter, facebook, and instagram constantly in my free time just to sate their need to see the band in action. i completely understood. their favorite band was back and they wanted to know all the dirty details, and so i gave it to them. i wanted to keep in touch with the fans and re-connect with them after having been away for so long. i explained the reason for getting back together (without giving away anything that gerard wouldn't have wanted me to), posting pictures of the band rehearsals in studio and posting updates of shows we were doing around jersey. as a band, we had decided to stay around new jersey for a month or two to get our bearings back before embarking on a comeback tour or writing new material. the show tonight had sold out in under a day, and that made me feel like i was floating on air. maybe a lot of that was the pills talking 95% of the time, but i wanted to pass this euphoric feeling onto the trembling mess that was gerard, who was still pacing by the curtain.

i felt so bad for him, and my euphoric high was dimmed by the mess i could tell he was in. i wouldn't doubt if he was having second thoughts about doing this. strumming absently at my guitar strings, picking out the beginning chords of 'welcome to the black parade' (which we had agreed to be the first song), i felt him walk up behind me, but didn't say a word until he asked his question. turning around to face him, my heart crumpled slightly at the fake-confidence he was projecting into his voice and his expression. it would've definitely fooled me...if i hadn't known any better. i knew this man almost like the back of my tattooed hand, and i lifted them off my guitar, swung it around my back, and stepped forward to gingerly wrap my arms around him. i pulled away far too quickly for my liking, though, not wanting to creep him out or make him uncomfortable. "i've been ready for years. you'll be ok, gerard. i promise. you'll blow those motherfuckers away into the next dimension," i joked quietly, smiling a little to try and elicit a chuckle from the red-haired vocalist.

(( it's great!! hope mine was okay too *o* and glad you liked my direction of where this is going, i'm just sort of winging it now ))

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]it's fine!! i really don't care about post length zom. (/_\) you can give me a few paragraphs back, as long as it's something to go off of. but if you just don't want to do the thread anymore, i understand. (: it's always here if you find you have muse for it!

[align=center][img width=477]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g1zq8joR1r2t74lo1_500.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]feeling my heart sink as his rhetorical question banged around inside my skull, i dipped my head low to try and peer into his eyes. he averted them, drawing them nervously back to the curtain, and i sighed, feeling my excitement and happiness drain away slightly. i tried to convince myself it was only because i'd swallowed half a bottle of pills that i felt so calm with this, and that gerard was just a naturally jittery person, but it kind of hurt that he seemed so terrified of doing this. i couldn't even sense an ounce of excitement in him, and that was weird, considering i thought i knew him almost like the back of my hand and could sense gerard's feelings pretty well. did he really want to do this or was this just first time (in a long time) nervousness?

i tried to remain optimistic about it, plastering a smile on my face and reaching up to grab his shoulders, massaging the tense muscles under my fingers and looking at him until his eyes finally met mine. "you won't fuck this up, gee. you've been a frontman for twelve years. some of this stuff is pure instinct by now. and i think you forgot how intoxicating the crowd's energy is," i spoke with an air of confidence about my voice, a sharp smile of purpose on my lips, and a glint of passion in my eyes as i patted his shoulder before turning and running over to where mikey and ray were as a voice on the backstage loudspeaker announced that our prep was over and we were due onstage in a minute. "you guys ready?" i asked, feeling the palpable waves of terror and excitement rolling off of them as mikey clambered to his feet and ray walked up to stand beside me. "ready as i'll ever be," ray chuckled, gripping the neck of his guitar and shaking his mop of frizz as he sauntered up to stand by gerard at the curtain. mikey didn't say anything, just nodded. i almost giggled at the contorted expression on his face, and slapped his back with a small laugh. "kristin's going to love it," i assured him, and he just rolled his eyes before stalking off and i couldn't help but laugh again. i knew that, for some reason, he was primarily nervous because his wife was in the crowd and it was the first time she'd ever seen him play. it was absolutely adorable, in all honesty.

as i joined the three up by the curtain, i pondered whether i should initiate the backstage chant we always did before a show, but then pushed that thought away. gerard was always the one who started it, and i wasn't sure if the rest of the band members remembered it anyway, so i let the idea fall away. maybe we could start it up again in the future, when there was less nervousness and more happiness clinging to our skin as we stood in front of the curtain. as ray and mikey emerged from the curtain to cacophonous cheers ringing in my ears, i hung back for a second to look at gerard. sliding up next to him, i rubbed his arm with my own and rested my head for a brief moment against his shoulder, feeling bad for him as i felt his shakes rattle my skull. "i love you," i managed to call out loudly, hoping gerard heard it before i blasted out from behind the curtain, trailing my fingers in a long, velvet note down my guitar strings to announce my appearance. the cheers and calls pounded throughout my veins like a lifeblood, and i opened my mouth in a soundless laugh, throwing my head back and reveling in the harsh lights and loud noises thrumming behind my eyes.

if i thought the crowd was loud when we came out, it was nothing to when gerard finally emerged from behind the curtain. i swear the whole venue was about to collapse in on itself from the force with which the fans screamed. he was loved. he was missed. i forced myself to not look at gerard, letting his voice that was calling out to the crowd wash over me, hearing an undertone of excitement and confidence that i prayed wasn't fake as he engaged the crowd. i wasn't expecting comments about stabbing unicorns or boas or anything, but just the few seconds of working the crowd with nothing but his spoken word was more than enough for me. the venue shook as the first few piano notes of 'welcome to the black parade' blasted out over the speakers and the crowd hollered their approval, and i sauntered over to one end of the stage, fingers itching to dance over the familiar notes, smiling and laughing and winking at the crowd. this was it. holy shit, this was actually fucking it.

(( sorry for the wait!! ))

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]i'll try to keep this as short and simple as possible.

1) 1-5 paragraphs (or more) is fine with me.
2) i'd like for you to be fairly active, though i'm lenient with this.
3) be fine with mature themes such as sex, violence, drugs, drinking, psychological scarring, and the like. let me know any limits you have.
4) honestly, if you're gonna ditch, fine by me. if i really like the roleplay, i'll ask you what's up, and if you don't respond then i'll take the hint.
5) don't be afraid to talk to me! c: i know i sound kinda bitchy but i promise i'm really talkative and friendly. *o*

i'm not up for anything with animals or medieval right now. what i'm 100% up for right now is down below.

+ bxb or gxg
+ cliches (country x city, nerd/"emo" x jock, bad boy/girl x good boy/girl, etc)
+ anything modern (i have so many ideas to make it interesting)
+ runaways
+ high school/boarding school/summer camp/talent camp
+ vampires
+ au sasuke x naruto pairing or au sebastian x ciel pairing (i'd prefer to throw them in a modern, fantasy, apocalyptic situation completely free from their respective series)
+ au destiel pairing (same as above)
+ apocalyptic
+ harry potter
+ bands (preferably frerard or any where i can play andy biersack; also looking for children of bands)
+ tumblr prompts/snapshot roleplaying (so much fun i'll explain what this is if you don't know)
+ youtubers (please do a phan or shane dawson x onision with me PLEASE I'M CRAVING SO BAD, also willing to throw them in a modern, fantasy, apocalyptic situation completely free from youtube if you'd like)

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;] i'd love one centered around a boarding school! c:
maybe the good girl has been going there for a long time already and the bad boy just got sent there this year because his parents were just sick of dealing with him and his public school shenanigans? like they thought he would be better supervised at a private boarding school?

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]hell i think if you could just make the thread, that'd be perfect! we can go with the flow. that sounds more fun and interesting because i love plot twists. (: you can be the good girl or the bad boy, i really don't care.

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;] it was good. c:

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;] (( question: is he where the girls are or is he outside of his own room? ))

[align=center][img width=477]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g1zq8joR1r2t74lo1_500.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]this was the most content and surreal i'd felt in years, up here on stage with the screams and the venue lights and the piano that was playing notes as familiar to me as my own name. all the sensations were coming back to me, the feeling of the guitar held firmly in my slender hands, the sounds and the lights and the thrumming deep in my chest. gerard's cheeky grin only intensified the feeling, and i wet my bottom lip with my tongue as i looked at him, suddenly getting an overwhelming urge to jump over to him and lock lips, like in the old days of stage gay and plainly not giving a fuck. i brushed that thought away, writing the feeling off as simple excitement and adrenaline for the show. maybe someday.

as soon as gerard opened his mouth, i felt tears spring up behind the back of my eyes, i swear to god. hearing his voice belt out the first verse of the song made me whole body melt and mend all at once. hearing his voice amplified with the chorus of sound, both fans and instrument, in the background made it sound so much different than when we were in rehearsal. there was a rough edge to his voice, a certain sound that conveyed all the raw and passion i could never have hoped to portray in my own voice. there was a reason i never succeeded solo. it was weird how fucking good he sounded, even though conventionally, he was a terrible singer. he emphasized his words too much, and the vowels sounded whiny and high-pitched, but it sounded so damn good and real when gerard sang it that i had to turn away from him for a couple seconds to blink the moisture out of my eyes. that would not have been good to be caught crying on stage before our first song barely even started.

i had always loved gerard's voice. it wasn't even a guilty pleasure of mine, i let him know how fucking awesome of a singer he was, all the time. the tone and pitch was so incredibly unique, to the point i wouldn't complain if i could be able to listen to his voice all day long. that was a pretty major reason i loved playing live so much, because i got to hear him sing for hours on end in that beautifully rusty voice of his, and it only spurred me on more. oh god, and there was nothing like seeing him sing. his mop of crimson hair was mussed and wild, framing his heart-shaped, pale face, his forehead already shining with a sheen of sweat and his adorably tiny teeth showing as he opened his mouth wide for the longer notes. my hazel orbs traced his long, slender fingers wrapped lovingly around the microphone like it was his anchor, the way his lips curled off to the right only slightly less than they did when he was talking, the way they cradled the tip of the microphone as he sang, brushing over the black wiring in the most passionate way possible. i couldn't tears my eyes away. all the thoughts of fangirls writing out theories of my intense staring, freaking out over the possibility of 'frerard;, all flew right out the goddamn door. i didn't care. i was going to watch him sing, because he was fucking gorgeous and i had missed this so much.

i nearly missed my cue to start strumming the chords of my guitar in a slow, rhythmic manner along with ray and mikey as the song picked up and gerard spat the words of the song with fervor into the microphone. the song buildup was pressing behind my bones, in my fingers, in my heart. i kept my lips parted, eyes focused on the lazy flicking of my fingers over strings, until finally, the song slammed to a fullblown assault and i slammed into the guitar strings, picking out the notes with a rabid passion and jumping around in manic glee, true to my onstage nature, as the song began to pan out into the chorus. from the time the song picked up to the time the chorus began, i had made my way fully around the stage, jamming with both mikey and ray and running up to the front of the stage to kneel before the crowd to give them an up close and personal look of my tattooed fingers flying over my guitar. as the chorus began, i sauntered over to gerard, my lips easily forming the words along with him as i fell against his shoulder and let my eyes fall shut, ebony locks falling in strings against my sweat-stained forehead, heart slamming a tattoo into my chest, and god i loved being next to gerard as he sang.

"we'll carry on, we'll carry on!
and though you're dead and gone believe me,
your memory will carry on!"

(( so many feels right now i'm telling you /cries ))

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]bump!

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]is this still a thing? i hope it's still a thing.

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]hmm maybe make a completely different thread that states exactly what this is and put a date in the first post that you hope to have movie recommendations and votes in by, so we can watch the movie on that date. this thread just seems kind of cluttered now, but hey, everything is up to you. c:

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]kiss it better - he is we /sobs eternally
also far away - nickelback because it's not 100% angst sad but it is so beautiful and heart-wrenching, at least to me.
OH i also second terrible things - mayday parade

[align=center][img width=477]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g1zq8joR1r2t74lo1_500.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]it was odd how you could spend such a long time away from doing something or seeing someone, yet have everything rush back to you in an instinctual wave when the time came to do that certain something or be with that certain someone again. i hadn't melded my body against gerard's in this way for so many years, yet every muscle twitch and feeling burning inside my gut felt familiar as i rubbed my cheek against his shoulder and flashed a little smirk up at him as he sang. i always knew that i missed this, but the intensity with which i truly did never really registered until i felt what it was like to be like this with gerard again. doing what i loved with who i loved. there was absolutely nothing fucking like it and i never wanted it to end.

my brain stuttered and i almost missed a few notes when gerard angled his body towards me, clasping my shoulder in his hand and pressing his forehead against mine. thoughts had no power in my brain for a few precious seconds as my fingers moved over the strings on pure instinct alone, refusing to blink and miss any moment of this as i stared deep into his honey-golden eyes. i wasn't thinking about kissing him to play up the tension, or doing any other lewd act like getting between his legs to play or amping up sexual tension, no matter how much the fangirls' roars were begging for it. i just wanted to stay like this with him, feel his heart and my heart connect and thump in rhythm as our chests touched, heaving with frenzied breaths as his voice singing the words took over my brain and heart and i eventually heard nothing but him.

as the song began to wind to a close, i decided to take the chance on missing the last few notes in favor of draping my arms around gerard's waist and burying my face in his neck. it was gross and sweatier than satan's asshole, but i didn't care. i wanted to feel him moving and breathing against me as we finished the last song of the night. it's not like the sound of my guitar was noticed much, what with mikey and ray amping it up to the nth degree and the fans roaring so loud it could almost have been possible to drown out the music. i closed my eyes and pressed my lips against gerard's neck, feeling the vibrations of his throat and the fierce pumping of his pulse as he held out the last note, and i almost felt like crying right there. why did we give this up? this was so beautiful and perfect and i just couldn't understand why we had ever thought it was ok to give up something that was as gorgeously flawed as my chem was.

time was not of the essence and i lost complete and utter track of it as the night continued on. we played all our top hits and most popular songs from each album, everything from 'demolition lovers' from bullets and 'na na na' from danger days. i shredded notes on my guitar and belted backup vocals when needed, rocking out like a true punk star during revenge songs and bouncing around like an ecstatic little kid during danger days songs. i spent my time jumping up on the amps and shouting to the crowd, engaging them between songs with gerard, jumping up on ray's back at one point and accidentally hitting mikey in the head with my guitar at another. but he actually smiled at me. not even a mikey scowl, a genuine smile as i rushed up to him spitting apologies into my dead mic. yes, this reunion was definitely for the best. it even knocked the pissiness out of mikey, if only for a little bit.

most of my time was spent glued to gerard's side, however. i didn't want to leave him as he sang, wanting to feel his words fill me up and wash over me and feel the energy of the crowd feed his performance. i bathed in the surreal environment, praying for it to never end. but of course, all good things must come to an end. the banter and the rocking out and the cheering and the screaming all faded behind us as we bid the crowd goodbye and reluctantly tripped our way backstage. i dropped my guitar on the couch, feeling tears well up in my eyes good and true this time as i spun on my heel and stumbled back to the others. "goddamn it guys, we did it. we actually fucking did it," i choked out, running both of my hands through my hair and shaking my head in disbelief. i couldn't believe how much of a success that was, how alive and real and potent the emotion had been. i didn't even notice the tears running down my face as i broke out into a cheek-splitting smile, looking up and meeting the eyes of all of my boys and nearly collapsing to the ground in pure relief for the way things were turning out, clenching fistfuls of ebony locks in my hands as i continued to shake my head, waiting to wake up cold and alone in my bed at home and realize all this whole past month had been a dream.

[align=center][img width=477]http://data3.whicdn.com/images/169485687/large.gif[/img]
[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 475px; text-align: left; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 37px; color: #000000; text-shadow: 0px 0px 3px white; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 3px; margin-top: -29px;]frank anthony iero[/fancypost]

[fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 400px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: white; font-size: 11px;]it was amazing how comforting it was just to have gerard plop down next to me on the ground and take my hands in his. they were burning and the tips of my right were bleeding slightly, but his gentle touch soothed the pain to the point i barely even noticed it. my hands were going to take quite a beating these next few days until they got used to playing the guitar so frequently and vigorously again. i forced back my tears, the overwhelming emotion washing over me but i wanted to keep it at bay. i didn't want to break down in front of the guys, especially not after such an electrifying show. i let my thumbs brush over his as i nodded my head, his shy smile sending a spark of flutters through my gut. "i know it's real. i just...want it to stay real this time, you know?" i murmured, my quiet, somber tone disappearing as he whispered his thanks to me. i chuckled slightly, pulling my hands away from his to wipe away the tears from my eyes. "you fucking dork, gerard. you didn't need my help because i knew you had that inside you. there's no way a frontman could be that good without having lots of past experience and instinct," i pointed out, sticking my tongue out as i got to my feet and held my hands out to help him up. "but. you're welcome."

i pulled ray and mikey over from where they were standing rolling their eyes at us, and threw my arms around all of them. i just wanted to hug the guys right now, try and convey my thanks to all of them. i definitely couldn't put it into words, so i just tightened my grip around gerard's and ray's shoulders and hooked my chin on mikey's shoulder, pulling them all into a tight group hug that stayed for a lot longer than necessary. honestly, i think we all needed that support right now. just all our arms around each other and a collective breath of relief for everything going even better than we had hoped.

the sweet, quiet moment ended as the techs came rushing in, slapping our backs and shouting about how that was one of the best shows we had ever done in the history of ever. the exhaustion was starting to make itself prominent, however, so i excused myself as quick as i could to the back of the venue, where the small, shit bathroom was. winding through the crowded halls, i finally found the small door with the chipped ebony paint and shoved into it, running my hands through my hair and striding over to the sink. i gripped the edges of the cracked appliance and peered up through my bangs into the mirror. the sight that met me looked so familiar. tired and red and raw, but happy. so entirely, undeniably happy. all the past years of drinking and pills and cutting seemed to wash away, and it was almost as if this was just another show on the road, like our last show had been only the night before. what made me finally completely break down was the sharp, iridescent fact that i had absolutely no urge to get a bottle of alcohol or to take a knife to my skin.

that realization pushed me over the edge, and i let the tears fall, clenching the edges of the sink as a sharp whoosh of breath left my lungs and the tears began to stream down my cheeks again, in earnest now. it wasn't out of sadness, though. not even close. i felt so fucking happy, like i was floating on cloud nine. soothing tendrils of euphoria were slipping through my veins, gently cradling my heart and brain with calming fingers. i wasn't used to being this happy. i was used to things going wrong, i was used to being let down and disappointed. this much happiness was completely foreign and overwhelming and i wasn't much of the crying type of guy, but i just couldn't express my happiness in any other way.

(( ok so where do you want to take the roleplay now? like when they first start touring or what? any little plotlets you wanna do? ))