[align=center][fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 450px; text-align: right; font-size: 10pt; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 95%]as life replayed,
we heard a voice proclaim:[/fancypost][fancypost borderwidth=0px][justify][size=8]First impression: unimpressive. That's usually how it goes with Polarispride. Past his wings and scars, he has nothing to separate him from the rest of the crowd. Not to say he doesn't like it that way; Polaris doesn't want to stand out. He's okay with working behind the scenes, being unincredible, being average, being unmemorable. He'd rather be seen as boring, because nobody hates your guts for being boring. Not how they hate you for being fragile. And Polaris, though he despises himself for it, is fragile indeed.
Without specific instructions, he is utterly lost. With them, however, Polarispride does remarkably well. He is wholly dedicated to his duty and will push himself to the limit to finish his job. On top of this, he is quick to alert authorities when he sees something that isn't quite right. And he's always watching. When he doesn't have an official assignment, he can be found helping out around the Clan, whether it's with cleaning, hunting, or gathering supplies. His paws are rarely idle. Yet, despite being so busy, he accomplishes tasks with care. And, while he does get shy and awkward about it, Polarispride loves hearing his work is appreciated.
Though he does enjoy praise, he isn't looking to win anything; in fact, he spends most of his life trying not to make enemies. He is a relatively peaceful cat who will bend over backward to avoid a fight, even if it hurts him to do so. His ProClan upbringing shows in how he handles conflict. With a few exceptions — criminals and those who threaten him — he will not kill with his own paws if it comes to combat. At the heart of it, he's just sick of death. If he has to make a few sacrifices to avoid it, so what?
He is also a complete pushover. This can't be blamed on his upbringing; since he was born, Polarispride has been surrounded by strong-minded individuals who had no problems speaking up when they didn't like something. It's a skill he envies. But he doesn't want to step on any toes, and so he hides his opinions from the public. He struggles with saying no to anybody, whether they're a warrior asking to hold a risky raid on a neutral or a kitten insisting they deserve to go on a border patrol with him. Worse yet, he doesn't handle criticism well; it makes him even more hesitant to stand up for himself. As time goes on, he is trying to break himself of this, with...some success.
Polarispride tends to hold the world at arm's length. Loss can do that to you — but fear can do that, too, and fear is what motivates Polaris to go through life more or less alone. He rarely presents himself as superior or aloof; if anything, he's downright polite, even kind, at first meetings. But he's just that; polite and kind and nothing underneath. Even after months of talking, he can come across as guarded, and questions put him more on-edge than usual. For his own safety, he values his secrets and holds them close. Only a handful of creatures have his trust and guaranteed loyalty. Those few will find that, however weak Polarispride looks, he is slowly learning to defend them with his tongue and his life. When he gets close enough to someone, he becomes a bit blind to their flaws; almost nothing can separate him from them.
Perhaps it's unfair of him to keep nearly everyone at a distance. However, Polarispride is unfair by nature. A lifetime of harm at the hands of AntiClanners and Exilers has given him a massive prejudice against them; even when they mean well, even when they're kind and gentle and as fragile as he is, even when there is no evidence whatsoever, Polaris tends to put his thoughts in their mouths and make them into a threat in his own head. And if they did make a few mistakes in the past? Forget it. Forgiving others is very, very difficult for him.
But none of these things make him fragile. What does is his inability to let go of the past. He is almost afraid to move on, as if starting over is doing a disservice to the memories of those he lost, or as if voyaging ahead into the unknown will be the end of him. Polarispride lets his mistakes shape almost every action in the present and worries when it looks like history is repeating itself — which, of course, means he spends a lot of time worrying. He has a firm belief that whatever can go wrong will, and thinking every choice leads to the worst outcome does not lend itself to productivity in the face of a crisis. It is his tendency to fall apart that weakens him.
MBTI Type: ISFJ (the defender)
Quirks: draws patterns on the ground, hums when in a good mood and alone, nods or shrugs, pulls wings close when nervous, rarely pulls out feathers when extremely stressed, ruffles feathers when agitated, touches the box on his necklace
Likes: awful (dad) jokes, bees, breezy weather, caves, cloudwatching, dragonflies, heat, mountains, music, running aimlessly, savory food, soft things, solo patrols, the sound of rain, stargazing, warm weather, "white noise," writing
· favorite color: dark blue
· favorite food: sparrow
· favorite season: autumn
· favorite location: anywhere in the mountains
Dislikes: alcohol, animals with hooves, AntiClanners, bears, being interrupted, dragons, fireworks, flying, humans, hunting, loud gatherings, manmade objects, parties, public speaking, snow, squirrels, sudden physical contact, the supernatural, surprises, total silence
Religious Beliefs: StarClan
· previous beliefs: none
Goals: to start a family and keep them together, to travel the world with Whiskey, to find a peaceful place to live, to be respected and loved by his Clan
Fears: abandonment, being hated, being recognized by his former Clanmates, being unneeded, dragons, dying again, exile from WindClan, humans, returning to WindClan, slugs, the supernatural
Addictions: none
Disorders: chronic insomnia, stuttering (undiagnosed)
Phobias: limaxaphobia (fear of slugs)
