Posts by Waterfur

First of all, sorry I haven't been on lately.
Second- all accepted!

Meanwhile, Whitestar looked on as the camp was busy with cats padding about, herbs in there jaws, and small groups of cats clumped around the camp learning how to heal. Whitestar's stomach growled, and so he stalked quietly over to the fresh-kill pile.

OOC: Sorry, I've been really busy lately.
IC: "Fine, Sunwhisker, how's the prey running?" he asked. Then Whitestar laughed, "Wait a minute, why am I asking? I just ate!" After a few moments, Whitestar cleared his voice and said, "Sunwhisker, will you please go help gather herbs? We're running low on tnsy and yarrow. Thanks."

I'm handing this Clan over to featherwhisker, as I am not on very often and need somebody else to upkeep HerbClan.

This is the sign-up thread for my roleplay classes. Here is a preview of the ones I have to offer:
- Basic
- Intermediate
- Adavnced

Here is the sign up sheet:
Username:
Character's name:
Type:
Gender:
Class level wanted (basic, intermediate, advanced):
Other/Comments:

This is the link to my main class: http://warriorcatsrpg.com/index.php?topic=574962.new#new

Welcome to my class! If you haven't already done this, SIGN UP NOW! Sign up thread- http://warriorcatsrpg.com/index.php?topic=574949.new#new

Below is a generalization of my work:

So, you've come for roleplay help, eh? Well, you came to the right place. I'm accepting anyone who wants help- from beginners to advanced.
First of all, just to show you, here is a sample of my roleplay, taken from my bio:
Waterkit was tucked under her mother's cloud soft pelt, asleep, when suddenly the entrance to the medicine den rustled. She perked up and heard cats loudly wailing. What's going on? the little kit thought to herself. She squeezed through the tugging branches of the nursery and scampered out into the clearing. "What happened? Why is everyone out here?" A big she-cat sitting next to her, Roseheart, turned around and was about to reply when her eyes filled with grief. "Oh, Waterkit," she sighed, "I feel so sorry for you, just a little kit, to have her father..."Roseheart hesitated. “To have her father dead, killed by the evil sickness." Waterkit looked confused, the exclaimed, "You must have the wrong cat. My dad is the strongest cat in all the clans, and strong cats don't die from sickness, do they?" Roseheart did not answer her. "Do they?" she repeated, a little softer this time as if to show that she was realizing her father was dead. Waterkit brushed past the she-cat and bounded up to her father's body. It was cold and lifeless, as if he were merely a stone in a freezing river. She pressed her nose deeper into his fur, but only smelled the herbs rubbed over his fur to mask the scent of death. "No," she whispered, and then wailed again, "No! He can't be gone! He just can't be!" Waterkit stormed off, her tail sagging in grief. Roseheart was about to go comfort the kit, but a tail on her shoulder stopped her. "Leave her be. She needs some time alone, to take in the shock." It was Shadelake, the elder. Roseheart thought to argue, but instead headed off in the other direction toward the dead warrior Thornpelt.

Here is a bio/roleplay sample that could use a bit of work:
http://warriorcatsrpg.com/index.php?topic=447281.0

The main difference between a good and a bad roleplay are three things- grammar, spelling, and choice of word. We'll start off with choice of word. For example, if I wanted to say that Rainpaw went out hunting and caught a mouse, I could say, "Rainpaw went out hunting that day, and caught a mouse." That gets to the point, but it is dull and doesn't "paint a picture". Insted, I could write, "Rainpaw crept over the moor and through the heather, to her favorite hunting spot. She quickly spotted a small mouse, and made a clean kill with her teeth." This sentence is the better of the two, don't you think? (*NOTE: Remember, there is such a thing as verbiage, which is when you are too descriptive, and as a result more space is wasted than needed.*)
Now, let's focus on grammar- quite a few people have trouble with grammar but this can easily be fixed with a few simple changes.
Here is an example of a sentence with better grammar: "Upon Naissa's prey heap, there was an assortment of ravens, lizards, and rats; she was an excellent hunter." Sounds good, as compared to "Up on Naissas' prey heap, there was an assortment of ravens lizards and rats, she was an excellent hunter." See how a couple small changes can change how your writing flows?
Spelling is crucial to all parts of writing; daresay, the most important part. The rules of grammar apply to spelling, just as spelling applies to grammar- they go together like math and science.
Most of the time, guessing the spelling is very helpful if you don't know that word. If you know two spellings of the word but aren't sure, write both spellings out and use the one that seems to fit better. As an alternative, you can use the spell check program to help you check. This is useful sometimes but keep in mind that spell check will not always be available, and that sometimes it tell you that funny words are misspelled when they're not, such as "Firestar" or "gatito" (the Spanish word for kitty.)

I also offer private lessons for those who need extra help- please PM me with the specifics of what you need help on.

I am willing to help but you have to be more specific.

I'll help, but first you should show me what you can write so we can work in those areas. :)
Here's the topic:
A wolf out hunting in the forest
^ You don't have to use that topic just a suggestion ;)

I am willing to mentor you.

Name: Freshwave
Gender: she-cat
Rank: elder
Appearance:
Personality: Sweet, but sometimes Freshwave is cranky. She hates starlings (her favorite prey is mice), and also does not like bothersome apprentices.
Crush/Mate: None (yet)
Other: Thanks for inviting me here (although I have no idea why you did X3)

Character Name: Rainpaw

Gender: she-cat

Clan{if any}: WindClan

Rank(CANNOT be leader, deputy or medicine cat/med apprentice unless you are making up their clan/tribe): Warrior

Appearance(Must look realistic--NO RED EYES!): A lithe, stormy feline with blue-gray patches, as well as blue eyes. In place of a tail is a small furry stump.

Personality: Friendly, but easily offended. Rainpaw has some favorites: Nighttime, rabbit haunches, and rolling around in the heather.

History(Not needed): Rainpaw's mother became WindClan's oldest elder in recorded history, living to be 132 moons old (22 years old.) Therefore, Rainpaw set out to become the clan's healthiest cat and outlive her mother.

Rainpaw trotted up to her, and asked, "Scarshadow, I-I know your not my mentor, but will you please take me hunting?"

Rainpaw finished cleaning out the elders' den, and thought to herself, Why do I have to clean out the elders' den? If StarClan really did care, maybe they'd clean it with magic. Then, she saw Crowpaw, and meowed, "Hi Crowpaw!"

Mister was sitting desperately in his cage, wanting to be freed. How did I get here? he asked himself. I was eating dog food in a gray shiny place (OOC: a shed) and then... some workfolk took me away... and now I'm here. He was miserable, but not enough to wish to go back to his abusive owner. Mister was just glad he wasn't left out in the wild, with those cats. He'd heard stories all about the wildcats, living in the sharpest thorn patches, eating each other for dinner. He shuddered just thinking about it.
The big, heavy flap swung open and some folk wandered inside. It was a female with two kits, and they were heading his way. Mister, of course, wanted to get adopted so he curled up in a little ball. The kits instantly noticed him and starting making noises and gestures. Mister smirked; he knew he was going to get a home.
A little while later, a folk with bright red pelting came over and open the cage. The folk stuffed him in a dark box with barely any light. Mister shoved his paws out the holes and started to scratch- only to find empty air.
A little while later, the box rustled and light slowly shown through. At last, Mister was at a home. The floor was soft, so he rolled around on it. Mister found another scent on the ground, and thought to himself, I smell another cat. Maybe one lives here already... Suddenly, a black and white she-cat stalked up. She had fluffy, long hair, but Mister could tell she was old. The new cat sniffed, then hissed, "Get off my territory!", and Mister ran to another room.
The next day, Mister went outside, licked his paw, and jumped on the fence.

Mister heard pawsteps getting closer, and he looked over. A light gray she-cat had jumped up on the fence next to him. Mister spoke in a high-pitched meow, "Hi there! Let me introduce myself; my name is Mister. I just got here yesterday, it's pretty nice."

Mister meowed, "Yeah, I bet it is. Just look at all this space!" He flicked his tail to the patches of sagebrush dotted about.

Cookie, the newest member of the animal testing subjects, looked around. She was a frightened kittypet, trapped in a cage.
She was thrown into a room with some other animals. Cookie scuttled to the corner and curled in a ball. She didn't want to be here.

Cookie cowered back in fear of the tiger kit.

A bowl rattled inside the nest and a Twoleg called to Mister. He meowed, "Well, I've got to go- my Twolegs just refilled my food. See you 'round, Narite."

Well, she seemed friendly, Mister thought to himself. I wonder who else I'll meet?