(Words in italic is a memory)
This whole thing is just so annoying to Árvakr. I mean humans just walk up to their territory and start dumping trash, do they have no concern for the wildlife living in the forest, for the pollution that this would cause. The insomniac raven stood at the balcony of the castle, his tired chocolate eyes watching the piling trash. I mean sure the Rogues managed to scare them off but what's stopping them from coming in here with tanks, solders and what now. It's a real hassle!
With a sigh, the raven let his gaze wanted on to the distance. They did manage to clean up a piece of the trash by dumping it on the tribe of the Harvest Moon and Breeze Clan but it's still so much and Árvakr has little to no energy to spare. I mean his nightmares have been haunting him for weeks now and he hasn't had a decent nights rest, it's like there is a beast clawing at his head, pounding, screaming and for once in his long life, he feels lost and scared. He lets out another longer and deeper sigh as his shoulders relaxed, his head dipping lower and his sleepy eyes closed. What now? He has come at a crossroad. I mean the only reason he came back is cause of Kylin but now things are so much different, he ruined everything just like he ruins pretty much everything else important in his life. It's like he is a winged disaster.
Slowly opening his eyes he lifts his head and looks at the distance, at the gorgeous green fores surrounding the castle. It's late in the afternoon and Árvakr can hear the sounds of his fellow Rogues as they go about their business, even some screams, probably results from a prank. He can hear chirping, herds grazing and the wind blowing across the territory with a gentle caress. A soft, barely visible smile stretched across his beak. Spreading his wings, the raven leaped off the balcony and let the wind carry him upwards and forward. He gently glides on the air current while his wings lazily flap every once in a while. Ah, yes, flying always relaxes him, it's the feel of the wind on his face, the fresh air and the silence that envelop him like a warm mothers embrace. When he is up in the sky he feels like he is the last animal on earth, he is far away from his problems, from his troubles and his mind wanders to more happier days. However, lately, joy has become a rarity in his life he is unhappy and lonely but he won't show his true self to his fellow Rogues, no, he will not be a burden he will keep flashing them smiles, he will keep cooking, he will keep laughing, his mask won't falter.
Árvakr is not one to wallow in self pity but some days he feels drained of life and happiness. It's a good thing he has just joyful friends tho, like Cthulha. That truth or dare contest was sure entertaining and he could barely contain his giggles.
The raven flew higher and higher, his wings flapping faster and faster as he shot up in a straight line upwards. But what if the mask falls?! What if they find out?! They won't love him, they will reject him! Murderer! The words repeats again and again in his head, judging him. The ravens hear starts thumping stronger and his mind floods with anger, his wing muscles straining and reaching their breaking point as he keeps on climbing, far away from the ground, far away from them. He just wants to be free of these chains that weigh him down.
"It's your fault!"
A screech echoes in his mind and the raven starts to panic, his eyes widen and his breathing now coming out in short puffs of air. No, no, no! It can't be! He isn't even sleeping so how can this be?! Insanity starts to slip through his insomnia, reality starts to mash with fiction, is he dreaming? Or has he finally cracked?!
And then his muscles overload and shut down, his wings stop flapping refusing to obey his command out of exhaustion. In a a single second of stillness Árvakr shut his eyes and let gravity take over, his small bird body plummeting to earth. The wind harsh bashes against his back and his ears ring from the speed but he doesn't care, he is tired, old and bruised, to him everything is still. Kylin was right, he is a coward that runs away, he didn't love her he just desperately looked for someone to love him, for someone to care for him, cherish him as much as he cherished her Ah yes...he remembers her like the soft kiss that she used to give him, like the way she wrapped her wings around him, the way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she smelled and the way she tasted. He remembers it all and wishes more than anything to be with him now, to feel her gaze, to touch her feathers....
Tears start to pool around the corners of his eyes as he falls closer and closer towards the ground like a rock, no will, no energy to save himself from certain death. He deserves to die, he destroys everything he loves he doesn't deserve happiness and Kylin did the right thing, she doesn't need this hump of feathers.
"Elina"
He whispered while his heart screamed out. How can he continue living with what he has done? His mind instinctively teleports him back to the past, to a memory of him and her. She touches his cheek with her sleek black feather and he smiles, leaning in to it.
"I'll be waiting for you but don't take too long I want you to see your chicks hatch"
Her voice, like a singing Siren, so gentle and mesmerizing as he can't tear his eyes from her mesmerizing dark eyes.
"I won't. I'll be back in a blink of your beautiful eyes"
He smiles at her and nudges his beak in to her neck pulling out a giggle from her.
"Here"
She turns around and pulls out a brown leather necklace with a gorgeous emerald gem in the shape of a water droplet dangling on it. Putting the necklace over around his neck she smiles
"When you feel lonely know that I am always there for you, just hold on to the gem and think of me, I will come flying to your embrace" She paused before adding "I love you"
Árvakr's eyes shot open. The necklace! Looking at the ground, there are only a few feet between him and death. Quickly spreading his wings, the raven flaps them hard trying to negate the falling momentum and fly upwards, but he has fallen too much and gravity pulls him down where he meets the forest floor with a harsh thund the momentum sending him rolling a few feet away lifting a small cloud of dust from his fall. With a groan the raven blinked his eyes and slowly hauled himself up on to his two feet, he ignores the searing pain tearing away at his left flank, he ignores the warm blood leaking down from his head, his only though concentrated on one thing. The necklace.