Posts by Ibycus

DarkClan is quite interesting.

Lol. I guess I'll see you again in the not to distant future.

Hello

ℓeafy wrote:

[fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=#212121 borderwidth=0px; a: hover; font-family: georgia; font-style: bold; font-size: 30px; color: #aaa; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px; letter-spacing: -3px; opacity: 0.96; text-shadow: 2px 1px 2px #000000; text-align: center;][color=#BBF598][size=24]leafy ⚘[/fancypost]

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[align=center][fancypost bgcolor= ; bordercolor=; borderwidth= 0px; overflow: auto; width: 300px; height: 150px][justify][size=7pt]ookay the shop is closed!! please refrain from ordering.
[/fancypost]

Sorry, I must've made it clear, I was simply answer her question, the shop is still closed until further notice.

Put your order in spoilers and quote it for later, Wingspan.

Please do not spam the thread. There is a chat room for you fellow customers but otherwise we'd like to keep the place uncluttered. :)

Lol

The rule guide has recently undergone an update so you could in there though I doubt there is a rule against it. I know there used to be, but ever since they added the new filter feature there is really no point enforcing it since people have the option to avoid curses. It also may have had something to do with the sites transition to Pg13.

Put into slavery; I favour experience over the numbing of pain.

The death of Puddlestar or Gravelstar. Coyotestar was characteristically a gas-bag but it was still sudden when he supposedly died.

Hehe, all of you start at weird times.

I struggle with public speaking.
Today it was required of us to present in front of two classes. I tried to figure out a compromisation, but the thing was, for the plan to work, my remaining friends had to cover for me and do the prezzie instead. They agreed begrudgingly. I tried to make them feel better about it but they HATE me. They are so fed up with me. I'm not angry at them though, I'm fed up with myself too.
I've realized public speaking isn't just disabling for its host, but also for the people surrounding the host. I feel so terrible they also have to do this, and frustrated that I can't. I hate myself. I hate myself.
This whole thing escalated when my other friend got into an arguement with them after I ran out of the class room anyways.
I went to counselling because I'm always looking for solutions. I wish someone would click their fingers and I could be fearless.
Now the group is in an arguement because of me. I hate myself so much. So, so much.

Click your fingers...now!
I don't want to be who I am.

After all this, the friends who hated me performed twice in front of the whole of year 10 and this strange feeling came over me. I was jealous of their abilities but also I had this random idea that they went up there on purpose to flaunt what they're capable of.
It was sort of like adding salt to the wound.
I want to be unafraid. I want to be just like them, not me.

Number two

[fancypost borderwidth=0][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-shadow: 0pt 0pt 10pt #A6E5F3; margin-left: -20px; margin-bottom: -30px;][align=center][size=46pt][color=#A6E5F3][b]coldblades[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -21px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: -2px;][align=center][size=15pt][color=white][b]☆ DOIN' THINGS MY OWN WAY[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -19px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: 2px;][align=center][size=10][color=white][b]( NEVER GIVIN' UP )[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border-top: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-bottom: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-left: 0px solid white; border-right: 0px solid white; height: 200px; width: 380px; overflow: auto;][justify][color=white][size=8]It was Coldblades first day here in RiverClan and it looked like he was already caught up in the midst of a siege. It was exciting of course, hell, he enjoyed fighting, but right now he had been looking for a chance to simply settle into his new life. Obviously, joining had been the biggest decision he'd ever made in his life, and he'd sealed the deal with a vocal oath so there was no going back on his word. Not that he'd miss out the chance on a good fight anyways. Coldblades emerged from the warriors den, his blue eyes narrowed. The long-haired tabby tom had a bit of a scar on his shoulder right down to his flanks. It was old and healed, but it was still quite obvious which made him look intimidating an battle-ready, even if he'd just woken up. Inbetween each of his claws were metal, three inch substitutes with clinked on the ground as he left the frame to warriors residence and entered the battle field, tail dusting the ground.[/fancypost]
[align=center][sup][color=white] #yuetemplate

[fancypost borderwidth=0][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-shadow: 0pt 0pt 10pt #A6E5F3; margin-left: -20px; margin-bottom: -30px;][align=center][size=46pt][color=#A6E5F3][b]coldblades[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -21px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: -2px;][align=center][size=15pt][color=white][b]☆ DOIN' THINGS MY OWN WAY[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -19px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: 2px;][align=center][size=10][color=white][b]( NEVER GIVIN' UP )[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border-top: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-bottom: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-left: 0px solid white; border-right: 0px solid white; height: 200px; width: 380px; overflow: auto;][justify][color=white][size=8]It had been a long walk from the temple to RiverClan. Almost a days worth of journeying through mountainous ranges and strange territories owned by foreign and unwelcoming animals who quickly shooed him away like one would to a pesky child. It had all been worth it though, because finally the travel weary tom had made it to RiverClan. Coldblades entered the forestry, sniffing along the ground and surveying his surroundings, his new home, trying to remember every inch of it. If there was one habit amongst all the cat monks could not break it was his habit to count and remember things. He did it a bit compulsively, killing time and stress by counting how many leaves were on a tree and such. One two three four branches on that tree. Coldblade's shoulder sagged and a strained smile pulled at his lips. What would the world be without numbers? The tom was finding this stroll rather leisurely now, all his previous anxieties at the possibility of rejection was quickly put to bed as he listened to to trickle of a nearby river.[/fancypost]
[align=center][sup][color=white] #yuetemplate

I appreciate your honesty and advice and I value it, but the thing is, I think the fear has been manifesting in my mind for way to long. I've become the fear. The truth you should know is that I was diagnosed with anxiety by my doctors and I'm going to therapy and getting medication and I'm doing everything. I can to shake ALL of my fears, but all I find is that when I'm in situations as such I just stumble into a knee-deep pile of stress and an uncontrollable feeling washes over me. I am so glad you got over yours, but the thing is you wanted to, I'm not really sure if I want to because when and if I fail, who am I supposed to fall on?

Hey, your a really good advisor, I love how you took your time to write that and I think your getting through to me. Can you address my next issue?

So those friends that hate me started ranting about me today. They called me selfish, attention-seeking and one didn't want to talk to me at all. She said I'm not facing my fears properly, and she's right. I'm all that, I'm TRYING so hard to do something I don't want to do but I can't and now I'm surrounded and caged and cornered by my own self-esteem. I can't do it. I get berated. I feel like when it comes to fear everybody wants to expose me to it (even you, though you were lovely and nice about it ) I feel like I'm trying to hold the world on my shoulders. I hate being in this situation.

[fancypost borderwidth=0][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-shadow: 0pt 0pt 10pt #A6E5F3; margin-left: -20px; margin-bottom: -30px;][align=center][size=46pt][color=#A6E5F3][b]coldblades[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -21px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: -2px;][align=center][size=15pt][color=white][b]☆ DOIN' THINGS MY OWN WAY[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -19px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: 2px;][align=center][size=10][color=white][b]( NEVER GIVIN' UP )[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border-top: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-bottom: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-left: 0px solid white; border-right: 0px solid white; height: 200px; width: 380px; overflow: auto;][justify][color=white][size=8]So, Coldblades is the new guy in RiverClan and I want to kick start his life with a couple of long term, interesting plots. Not relationships, that will come later I assure you. [/fancypost]
[align=center][sup][color=white] #yuetemplate

[fancypost borderwidth=0][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-shadow: 0pt 0pt 10pt #A6E5F3; margin-left: -20px; margin-bottom: -30px;][align=center][size=46pt][color=#A6E5F3][b]coldblades[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -21px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: -2px;][align=center][size=15pt][color=white][b]☆ DOIN' THINGS MY OWN WAY[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -19px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: 2px;][align=center][size=10][color=white][b]( NEVER GIVIN' UP )[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border-top: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-bottom: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-left: 0px solid white; border-right: 0px solid white; height: 200px; width: 380px; overflow: auto;][justify][color=white][size=8]They can be friends. He isn't doing serious relationships right now, and sure Mason, that would be fun![/fancypost]
[align=center][sup][color=white] #yuetemplate

[fancypost borderwidth=0][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-shadow: 0pt 0pt 10pt #A6E5F3; margin-left: -20px; margin-bottom: -30px;][align=center][size=46pt][color=#A6E5F3]coldblades[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -21px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: -2px;][align=center][size=15pt][color=white][b]☆ DOIN' THINGS MY OWN WAY[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -19px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: 2px;][align=center][size=10][color=white][b]( NEVER GIVIN' UP )[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border-top: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-bottom: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-left: 0px solid white; border-right: 0px solid white; height: 200px; width: 380px; overflow: auto;][justify][color=white][size=8]Coldblades ears shifted, he lowered himself to the ground. He could sense vibrations in the ground. Someone was watching him. The tom turned around and found himself looking at a young she cat. His brows rose in a questioning fashion. Was she going to do something about him or just stand there watching him? Coldblades then whipped his head around upon feeling the ground shake, in case you couldn't tell, the cat monks had taught him to use all of his senses. He'd been blindfded for two whole years in order to enhance his other senses. Touch, taste, hearing ect. From the vibrations it seemed as if a monster was lumbering through the forest until suddenly a bear burst through the forestry. Coldblades jumped back, his metal substitutes clinking as he did so. Name and buisness? [b]"Coldblades, joining."[/fancypost]
[align=center][sup][color=white] #yuetemplate

[fancypost borderwidth=0][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; text-shadow: 0pt 0pt 10pt #A6E5F3; margin-left: -20px; margin-bottom: -30px;][align=center][size=46pt][color=#A6E5F3][b]coldblades[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -21px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: -2px;][align=center][size=15pt][color=white][b]☆ DOIN' THINGS MY OWN WAY[/fancypost][fancypost bgcolor=; border: 0px solid white; margin-top: -19px; margin-left: -20px; letter-spacing: 2px;][align=center][size=10][color=white][b]( NEVER GIVIN' UP )[/fancypost]
[fancypost bgcolor=; border-top: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-bottom: 3px dashed #A6E5F3; border-left: 0px solid white; border-right: 0px solid white; height: 200px; width: 380px; overflow: auto;][justify][color=white][size=8]Ok docky!

Sorry xd/fancypost]
[align=center][sup][color=white] #yuetemplate