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  • ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ ɪs ᴡᴀᴋɪɴɢ - ᴊᴏɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴅ

    [align=center]
    [size=33pt]☾ patrick thomas walters ☽[/size]


    [hr][hr]
    [align=center]• name •
    ❝ my name's patrick, but you can just call me patty. ❞
    patrick thomas walters c;


    • gender •
    ❝ oh dear, are you alright? ❞
    he's a male, and he identifies himself as a male.


    • age •
    ❝ erm, sixteen. ❞
    what he said.


    • date of birth •
    ❝ september 22nd. ❞
    exactly.


    • mythical creature type •
    ❝ i'm a water elemental. not too special, but it's pretty cool. ❞
    he loves his h20. aha.



    • hair color •
    ❝ dirty-blonde. not blonde; dirty-blonde. ❞
    not blonde; dirty-blonde.


    • eye color •
    ❝ they're like this weird light, silvery-blue color. i dunno, they're weird. ❞
    really odd.


    • height •
    ❝ i'm 5'4, but almost 5'5! ❞
    he's a shorty. yup.


    • weight •
    ❝ i dunno. how am i supposed to know? ❞
    113.79 lbs.



    • sexuality •
    ❝ i'm a proud panromantic homosexual. ❞
    he only dates guys, but he falls in love with their personality, not their physical appearance.


    • dating •
    ❝ nope. ❞
    nope.


    • crush •
    ❝ oh my gosh, are you high? i mean, um, not yet. ❞
    will more than likely develop.



    • history •
    ❝ pfft, pretty freaking normal, for being me. aha... ❞
    if you count growing up being thrown around like a rag doll in school - which means being stuffed in lockers - normal, then yeah, he had a normal life, i guess. his parents were kind and loving, but didn't smother him. they helped him through a lot, even if they didn't know it. he never told anyone of his bullies; not even his few select friends. he also didn't - doesn't - have any siblings, younger or older, which he is kind of bummed out on. otherwise, he's had a pretty normal life - as normal as one's life could get, being some kind of "mythical creature", or whatever.


    • personality •
    ❝ one word; awkward. ❞
    yes, he really is an awkward fellow. he is sweet and loving, probably taking it from his parents. he's generous, selfless, and utterly sensitive. even the littlest hurtful word could send him off the edge. he's pretty fragile, and very self-conscious. he's also loyal and forgiving, and some might say he's almost too calm, at times. yeah, that pretty much sums him up in a few words. he doesn't yell, like, ever; no matter what. and when he does yell, it's barely even a yell, if you know what i mean. he isn't angered very easily, but he is saddened - and gets upset - pretty darn easily. patrick isn't one to really socialize, but once you get to know him well enough, he'll be the weirdest, most random person you've ever met.


    patty gets stuck in his head a lot, meaning he almost always has his head up in the clouds. he just thinks a lot, okay? it's hard for him to concentrate on one thing at a time, with all the different thoughts running around in his head. hence why he doesn't really socialize very much, or very well. he's a stuttering mess if he barely knows you, or doesn't know you at all - that is, if he even talks to you at all.



    • themesong •
    ❝ pardon? ❞
    hmm... probably 'chasing rainbows' by bring me the horizon. or 'i'm not okay' by my chemical romance. //shrug//


    • secrets •
    ❝ wh-what? ❞
    patrick has panic attacks - yup. just going to be blunt and say it. patrick has stupid freaking panic attacks. he's scared of a lot of things, and isn't as happy as he seems to be with all his shy smiles and shiz. of course, not even his family knows. ssh.
    • other •
    ❝ oh, um... bye, i guess. ❞
    ha, hello. hope this is good enough. c:
    BlackDingo , you did not just use gee and frankie. hellz yeah, i love you, dude.

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    pfft, whatever. you're wonderfuller. ha.
    awesomeness! because awesomesauce is just... no.
    i don't mind; it's up to you, love. c:
    also, is it cool if they're both submissive and dominant? like, they're both both? i dunno, i've never done that before, and i think it'd be a cool change. c:
    tell me what you think after you have!

  • HAVE A SMOKE, POUR A DRINK [pafp & bxb] STEAL A KISS IN THE DARK

    [align=center][font=times new roman][size=10]i listened to him, unlike i did many of times. i didn't really listen to a lot of things other people beside daisy or my friends told me, because honestly, i was too tired to care. it sounded so rude, but i couldn't help it, really. my mind would just wonder elsewhere most of the time, and i'd end up having to just nod my head. it always worked, and it's not like i didn't listen to anything. i usually caught a few words - not that anyone would bother in wasting their time talking to me. i don't really ever have anything to say, anyway. i was pretty surprised i hadn't drifted off, yet.


    i nodded my head just a little, letting out a tiny huff of a laugh through my nose. at his question, i looked down, then back up again. "she's six," i responded, pursing my lips for a second or two. i gulped silently, and rubbed my nose with the back of my wrist. i kept that same small, shy smile plastered on my face, propping my elbows up on the table. i rested my head in the palms of my hands, closing my eyes. after a few moments i looked back over to jamie, leaning back and resting my back against the booth. i wrapped my arms around myself, glancing over at the girls.


    "she's home schooled," i blurted, shifting a bit so my legs and feet wouldn't fall asleep too fast. i sniffled, probably because i've just done it so many times and it became a habit that i really didn't notice. i figured that allie might be maybe a year younger than daisy, but what did that matter? the other little girl was pretty damn mature for her age, right? i gnawed on my lower lip, scratching at the back of my neck before loosely folding my hands and putting them in my lap. i stared down at them and started humming; out of old habit. it was a song i was working on. i only had the chorus worked out, and i was still trying to think of the verses and sh-t.


    ( why thank you for that wonderful compliment. i just had to, because the name holds so much sass. x3 AND ITS FREAKING GEE LIKE COME ON
    oh my gosh, these two, at some point, have to start writing songs together. *^*
    by the way, he's humming the chorus of 'teenagers'. yeah, i'm not really creative, so i'm just going to use mcr's songs. d: )

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    you're wonderfuller times infinity infinities. BOOM! 8)
    my honest opinion? well, i really actually don't mind. whichever works best for you, works best for me. c:
    oh, and i focus more on quality rather than quantity! i can still muster up at least two or three paragraphs at my lowest muse, though.
    yeeeaaahhhh awesomeness!
    do you have any 'triggering' things? like, well... you know what i mean.i could have worded that so much better. i just thought i'd ask, you know? c:
    ugh, I KNOW RIGHT?! he's so freaking amazing and ugh... just another band/person for me to obsess over. d:

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 400px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][size=43pt]w[/size][sup][color=black]hoop!
    * eats cupcake even though i don't like frosting *
    that's perfectly alright with me, darlin'. perfect. c:
    i'm not a big fanfan at all of rape, either. i don't have any triggers, thanks to music. <3
    would it be alright if patty, though he isn't in real life, had depression and anorexia/bulimia? it's totally fine if not. just, you know, angst.
    true, true. preach that sh.t! ;3
    i could create it, if you'd like. it might not be up for a bit, just forewarning you. c:
    also, patty's twenty-two. just thought i'd get that out there so you have an idea on what the age range should/could/would be. c: so many smileys.
    OHMYGOSH YOUR AVVIE AND SIGGY AND SCREEN NAME AND HOLY SHIZNETTS UGH ILY SO MUCH
    * dies bc they're too adorable *
    oh, and would they be sharing a bus? it'd be easier and stuff, and it's probably a stupid question, but i just thought i'd ask. c:

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 400px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][size=43pt]t[/size][sup][color=black]hank you, lovely. <3
    yes. we shall. i luffle muffins. they're delicious. very, very delicious.
    i just wish everyone could see that. :/
    sweet. c: what about your dude? or is he just gonna be, like, you know, "normal"?
    whoop! and i'd stay here right by yer side!
    HA HA HA i have the biggest potty mouth freaking ever. so, nope, i don't mind swearing one single bit. c;
    ha ha, 'hunting down a face claim' is my favorite part, too. i don't know why... //shrug//
    yeah, i think i change mine a little too much... oh well.
    d'aw, and i now deem you as my cuddly teddy bear. and you are no officially claimed by moi! <3
    //squirms// meep.
    awesomeness! oh my gosh, at some point, they should get drunkeven though patty, in real life, has never gotten drunk, high, or anything like that; and he says he never will, and cuddle or some sh-t after my dude just tells your dude everything. because fluff and angst mixed is perfection. *^*
    oh, and where should i start?
    i feel like i'm freaking forgetting something!! *^*

  • HAVE A SMOKE, POUR A DRINK [pafp & bxb] STEAL A KISS IN THE DARK

    [align=center][font=times new roman][size=10]allie was five, just like i'd guessed. it wasn't very hard to figure it out. it's not like she looked older or younger than she was. daisy was the same way; some people might think she's seven, but that's only a year over, so it doesn't matter any. they seemed the same age in personality, and age is just a number. you know, tommy wasn't the only guy i dated, though he was the only one who truly loved me. there were a few others, and some of them were almost ten years older than me. the oldest one i'd dated was twenty-five, when i was sixteen. nobody knew, of course, because it was illegal. now that i think about it, all of my relationships besides the one i had with tommy were illegal. huh.


    they were all the same, too. i thought they loved me, and they ended up leaving me for some other guy, or girl, because it was 'safer'. yeah, i knew exactly why they actually left me; they just wanted to use me as their toy whenever they got bored, or some sh-t. they wanted to impress their friends. i never understood how having me as their boyfriend would impress anyone. i was the definition of 'emo', besides the whole, you know... cutting thing. a really f.cking short emo.


    i couldn't help but notice how he had this dramatic touch to him. like, he was, honestly, kind of sassy. not in a bad way, of course, but there was a sassy-ness to him. i found it quite amusing, actually. and i guess we had some things in common too. we were both artsy people, and we both, as kids, wished we could've been home-schooled. i wonder why he wanted to be. the reason i wanted to be's pretty freaking obvious; bullying. all the f.cking bullying - being stuffed in lockers was one of the worst things, and no one seemed to care that i had claustrophobia. did i already tell you that? whatever, i don't care.


    i kept on humming the little tune, a little surprised when the other reached his arm over to grab a, erm, napkin. i watched him pull a pen out from his pocket, and start scribbling words onto the napkin. i watched curiously, my head slightly tilted to the side. i wondered what he was writing; if you couldn't already tell. i couldn't help the brightening of my smile, my gaze flickering over to the girls. they were chatting up a storm, smiling big smiles, being the little rays of sunshine they are. god, what jamie said was really true. if i didn't know any better, i'd think they were sisters separated at birth.


    i gnawed on my lower lip, looking up at allie with only my eyes, then back at the napkin. he'd moved it closer to himself, probably so she couldn't get it. i could tell she was curious too, and wanted to see what he'd scribbled down. even daisy looked curious. but she quickly turned away from it, and started talking to allie again. i took a silent deep breath of relief, then looked back over to jamie. my smile had faded a little, going back to that same small, shy smile. i shifted a bit, continuing to gnaw on my lower lip.


    i debated on whether or not to ask what he'd written. i'd stopped my humming moments ago, now just really wanting to know what he'd written down. don't ask why, i just was. i mean, he'd just suddenly reached over and grabbed a napkin when i started humming. "what'd you write? um, if you don't mind me asking," i muttered, then started to gnaw on my lip again. i looked at him instead of the napkin, shifting a little again. i wrapped my arms around myself, my shoulders tensed a little like they almost always were, and waited patiently for his answer.


    ( oh my gosh, i laughed more than i should have. x3 )

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 400px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][size=43pt]u[/size][sup][color=black]gh, now i want a muffin.
    no, i absolutely love that idea! cliche and cheesy? ha! i'm the most cliche, cheesiest person you'll ever meet. d:
    dude, it's always hard. there are so many good face claims, and it's so hard to pick from them!
    yes! teddy and bunny forever!! <3
    yay, i'm glad you like it! i literally squealed when i thought of the word 'cuddling'. x3
    ah, man, so many. i'm so indecisive. *^* hmm, let's start after their first show, and it's, like, 8:30 or 9:00 at night. sound good? c:
    yeah, we got this! i'm so freaking excited!!

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 400px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][size=43pt]a[/size][sup][color=black] chocolate chip muffin. mmm...
    oh no, that's probably one of the hardest decisions ever. they're both so adorable and awesome and ugh... sh.t. x3
    forever plus infinity. <3
    it's going to be totally fercking epic, dude.
    oh, that's what i'm forgetting! aha... do you roleplay in first or third person? i don't mind roleplaying in either. c:

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 400px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][size=43pt]h[/size][sup][color=black]oly sh.t, yes. ugh, i'm going to make my mom make muffins tomorrow. ha.
    nobody knows. it's a mystery why they, and many other band members, are almost too lovable. good luck! ;3
    same here!! :D
    forever times infinity infinities. <3
    yes, i totally understand that. okay, i'll go get started on it now! whoop whoop!!

  • [ploттιng] we go тogeтнer or we don'т go down aт all

    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 400px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][size=43pt]h[/size][sup][color=black]a ha. she probably won't make 'em. oh well. //shrug//
    good idea! and i know, right?! i just want to hang out with them all day, and have a big cuddle with all of 'em. <3
    forever and always. <33
    pfft, whatever. more like the worst post you'v ever read. d:
    okay, i'm starting it now. aha.

  • ɪ'ᴍ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ [ᴘ] sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴏᴜɴᴅ

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;][/fancypost]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;]patty walters[/fancypost]
    i'm fading fast, out in the cold unknown
    [align=center][size=17pt][ my heart is breaking and life won't wait ][/size]


    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 500px;][hr][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 550px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][sup][size=7pt]it wasn't too hot, thank the heavens. there was a nice breeze going, which helped a ton when you just got finished with performing songs for a lot of people. it was my first tour, and i was actually kind of glad it was with another band. good thing they were pretty cool, because we had to share a bus. i don't remember why, but that doesn't really matter. we were sharing a bus, and that was that. the guys already seemed to be best friends with the other band, which was a really good thing. it'd be a pain if they didn't get along, and i really didn't need that. i was struggling as it was; i didn't need a bunch of kids pouting and glaring at each other, and possibly fighting with each other while on the road. or backstage.


    me? i guess i was friends with them. at least, i hope i was. it's not like i'm that quiet, or anything. i'm just a little awkward is all, you know? plus, it's kind of hard not to show any emotion besides happiness when you're depressed. well, fake happiness, i mean. most of the time? i mean, i'm happy and all, with all the support from our amazing fans and our families. it's not the haters, or the fact i care what people think about me; because i don't care what they think, or say, about me. it's just how i think about myself, you know? it's my fault, and not anyone else's. that's one of the reasons i've never told anyone about my little 'problems'; they'd probably try and put the blame on themselves, or some other person or persons. i really don't want that, because it'd only add to the guilt that was already weighing me down. and if any more weight was added, only god knows what would happen.


    i thought i was doing pretty well, though. these problems of mine weren't as bad, anymore, as they used to be. i used to keep from eating for days, and now i ate at least a salad within a two day period. and the whole 'throwing up on purpose' thing? i rarely ever did that, now. it used to be every single day, but now it's only probably once every two or three weeks to a month. the longest i've gone, i think, was about a month and a few days, which i was actually proud of myself for. i knew if anyone found out, it'd hurt the guys. we were f.cking family - and speaking of family, it'd definitely hurt my mom and dad. like, it'd really hurt them. they thought i stopped all this nonsense in my senior year of high school, and i had stopped for a great amount of time; six whole months. but then i started getting stuffed in lockers, and the name calling was more frequent, and i just couldn't take it. their words got to me, okay? now i know not to care about what anyone says or thinks, for it'd just become a habit, and now i'm just thinking so lowly of myself because of unknown reasons. talk about annoying and stupid.


    see, this is one of the reason's i just kind of really hate myself. i mean, i'm totally f.cking selfish. there are so many people out there who have it worse than me, who literally beg for food, and just want to be held and loved. there are so many people out there who don't even have a roof over there head, even if that roof is just a bunch of leaves and sticks. there are so many people out there who don't have the love that i have, who don't have a family or support. there are so many people out there who are living on hope and prayer, and i'm here, starving myself because i think lowly of myself. what the hell does that say about me? i'm a selfish little f.ck, who can do barely anything right, and... god, i'm tired. i'm so sick and tired of all this sh.t that i put upon myself. sometimes i wish i would just go to sleep and never f.cking wake up!


    i yelped silently when feeling fingers at my sides, letting out a few embarrassing giggles as they started moving. s-stop! i swatted at ben's hands, and after a few moments, he finally let me be. i took a deep breath, playfully glaring over at him. asshole. ben just laughed at me, and draped an arm across my shoulders. jeez, why did i have to be so freaking short? i was probably shorter than frank iero and vic fuentes, no offense to those guys. i mean, they weren't too short, and i thought it made them cuter. yeah, yeah, i'm bisexual. i'm to ashamed or embarrassed about it, either, because it's not like i chose to be into guys just as much as i was into girls. i was technically pansexual, since i didn't so much care what they looked like on the outside. it was only a plus if the person had a great smile.


    the guys and i walked back to the tour bus, though we hadn't gotten inside before we stopped. we still have an hour or two before we head off, thanks to ben asking the driver so nicely. andy pointed with his thumb at andy, who smiled all cheesy like, making us all chuckle. we're all gonna go out and get a drink, and we're gonna ask the other guys if they wanna come." i hummed, nodding my head a little. i knew what his next words would be, so i answered his question before it even came out of his mouth. i think i'll stay behind, this time, guys. i shrugged, fixing my maroon beanie on my head. they all just nodded at me, letting me step inside the bus without a big fuss over me not going. the other band hadn't gotten back yet, which wasn't too surprising, i guess. i yawned silently and stretched, then walked over to the lounge part of the bus and plopped down on the couch.


    i slipped my shoes off, then immediately curled up, closing my eyes. i really needed some sleep; i'd only gotten about two hours of sleep last night, maybe two and a half, and i was now exhausted. onstage i was full of adrenaline, too preoccupied in singing my heart out to notice i was this tired. my limbs ached from moving around so much, and i could feel a headache coming on. my stomach growled; i also hadn't eaten a single thing today, but i told myself i wasn't hungry. yeah, right - i knew damn well that i was hungry, i just didn't want to eat. apart from not eating on purpose, sometimes i got these stomach aches that just wouldn't let me eat. i guess my stomach could be a little weak at times, huh?


    i should really change out of my sweaty clothes, but i was too lazy to get up. i got up anyway, putting my bare feet back on the floor of the bus. i stood up, stretched, and picked my shoes up. i started shuffling over to the bunks, and put my shoes in my duffel bag, which sat where no one would trip over it beside my bottom bunk. i sat down on the pretty comfortable bunk and rubbed at my tired eyes, yawning once more. hopefully i could catch up on some sleep, now that the guys are going out for a drink or two. i had a feeling two out of the other three were going to get drunk off their asses, which i kind of cared about, you know. oh well. let them get drunk; i guess they kind of need it. and i also have a feeling that ben is the one who is going to have to be the driver, tonight. he almost always is, when i don't go out with them. i've never gotten drunk, high, or anything else like that in my life, and i never will. it's not for me.


    even though it'd probably calm my nerves a little.


    ( out of character ) holy shiz, this was horrible. sorry, my posts will get better; i promise! and i thought we could get our guys some alone time to talk and sh.t. so... yeah. c:
    oh, and i kinda don't know the name of the other guy [the one who's not patty, andy or ben], so let's just call him jace. x3


    [align=right][size=7pt][color=white][c] gee.[/size]

  • HAVE A SMOKE, POUR A DRINK [pafp & bxb] STEAL A KISS IN THE DARK

    [align=center][font=times new roman][size=10]i gulped silently when he finally spoke, putting my fingertips of one hand on a corner of the napkin to slide it closer to me. he seemed a little surprised, which actually didn't surprise me at all. i mean, did i really seem like the one who'd take the time in noticing such a small detail? i liked to sit back, sometimes, and just observe things, i guess. it wasn't hard for me to pick out something like someone writing something on a napkin, or someone twitching their eye or nose out of nervousness, or something. it seemed kind of weird, i know, but i couldn't help it. i'd done it a lot back in high school, paying close attention to every single little detail of everything. i guess it gave me inspiration, you know? the way someone's hips would sway a little when they walked, or the way someone's eyes sparkled with something seemingly no one else could comprehend but me and that person. okay, yeah; that's pretty weird, isn't it?


    i hadn't even read over it, being stuck in my thoughts, though was snapped out of my own head when i heard jamie's voice speak over all the others. i hummed in response, and read what was scribbled on to the napkin. my smile grew a little, and i began running the lyrics through my head with the same tune i was humming. that's good - that's really f.cking good. i started to sing it out quietly, just getting the feel of the lyrics with the tune.


    "they're gonna clean up your looks
    with all the lies in the books
    to make a citizen out of you
    because they sleep with a gun
    and keep an eye on you, son
    so they can watch all the things you do    "


    i nodded my head a little, letting out a tiny laugh. "that's good. like, really good." i tapped my fingers on the table, then grabbed my pen and clicked it. i grabbed another napkin and thought for a moment, then my face brightened when i finally thought of something other than the chorus, and started scribbling the lyrics down on the new napkin. i hummed while i did, a little too excited over the fact i'd come up with something other than the chorus and tune; thanks to jamie.


    "because the drugs never work
    they're gonna give you a smirk
    'cause they got methods of keeping you clean
    they're gonna rip up your heads
    your aspirations to shreds
    another cog in the murder machine    "


    i opened the napkin up a bit so i could write out the chorus, continuing to hum through my writing.


    "they said all teenagers scare the living sh.t out of me
    they could care less as long as someone'll bleed
    so darken your clothes or strike a violent pose
    maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me    "


    i nodded my head a little, looking up and over to him. i really hated being so short. "really f.cking good, dude. i mean, uh, jamie." i let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of my neck with my partially-gloved hand. i looked down at the napkins, arranging them in an order that seemed alright. this guy was way cooler than i thought he was, which was really saying something. "just one more verse," i muttered to myself, tapping the pen on the table as i gnawed on my lip. it needed one more verse, and i think it'd be pretty much done - the song, i mean.

  • ɪ'ᴍ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ [ᴘ] sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴏᴜɴᴅ

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;][/fancypost]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;]patty walters[/fancypost]
    i'm fading fast, out in the cold unknown
    [align=center][size=17pt][ my heart is breaking and life won't wait ][/size]


    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 500px;][hr][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 550px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][sup][size=7pt]i really loved this time of night. it wasn't too dark out, especially since it was summer, but it wasn't light out, either. and it wasn't as hot as it was in the morning, which was another thing i was thankful for. that meant it wouldn't be too hot in the bus, tonight. i mean, it's not like the bus had air conditioning or anything. there were a few fans placed here and there, but no air conditioning. plus, with air conditioning, it did get kind of cold - i guess i'd rather have it be cold than hot though, because you could just bundle up and stuff. whatever, that didn't matter. i mean, i'd probably end up sweating a little, but it was only a little sweat. it's not like it carries a disease or some sh.t. and it's not like anyone else sleeps in my bunk, or with me. eegh, just saying that is weird.


    okay, i really love to cuddle, i admit it. me and the guys cuddle a lot, but give me one good reason why we shouldn't. because people will think we're totally gay? that people will think two of us are dating each other? pfft, we all couldn't care any less about that. sometimes we do it on purpose, for those fan girls - and fan boys - out there. you know, the little pecks on the cheek and lips, those hugs that look more than friendly, the butt-grabs, the hand-holding - that stuff. and honestly, i started to love the attention. i won't deny that i love being loved. i mean, it'd be weird if it were any love besides friendly-love and family-love. as in any loves besides the love of two people in love. did that make any sense? i could have worded that so much better.


    i started to hum, trying to get my mind off of those stupid things. if i didn't stop thinking, i more than likely wouldn't fall asleep. maybe if i thought too much and too hard i'd actually get more than two hours of sleep. i could hear the chatter from the guys and the other band going on outside, though it was obviously muffled by the walls of the bus. i wiped at my eyes, yawning a little bigger, but still silent. i let out a big huff of air after, gulping just as silently as i yawned. i was tired, but jeez, i didn't know i was that tired. if i were onstage i wouldn't be so freaking tired.


    i was actually kind of surprised when i heard the door open, but i shrugged it off. maybe one of the others was just getting a jacket, or something, in case it got a little chilly. it might have been summer, but that didn't mean that some nights couldn't get a little chilly. i mean, i didn't care if one of the guys - including the other band - decided to stay behind. if it was someone from the other band, maybe i could get to know them better. yeah, i'm sure my awkwardness wouldn't bother them - my blabbering, my weirdness, my fake-ness; in which they obviously wouldn't see. no one ever saw through the façade, which was a horrifically good thing.


    god, i was such a hypocrite. i told people they should never hurt themselves, because it never made anything better. that they shouldn't think so lowly of themselves, because no matter what, they were precious to the world. i told others that they should get their feelings out to someone; to anyone who'd listen. i told them not to listen to all those haters, and that those idiots were just jealous. you know, just kill those haters with your kindness. i mean, that part i wasn't so hypocritical about. i didn't care what anyone said or thought about me; besides myself, of course. i hated myself, i admit it. it was really leaving me restless; probably why i had all these nervous habits, and just couldn't seem to keep myself from moving, even the littlest bit. oh well, it wasn't a big deal, hence why i haven't told anyone. i mean, it wasn't like i was killing myself, right? right? right.


    i flinched when hearing the clearing of a throat, followed by a quit, yet soft voice. i looked up, my eyes landing promptly on the owner of the voice. a small smile came to my face out of doing it so many times before when my gaze met another person's. i rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged, looking down at the floor of the bus. i loosely folded my hands in my lap, then stuffed them in the pockets of my skinny jeans when i stood up. nah, i don't mind. i cleared my own throat, taking on hand and rubbing at the back of my neck again. i gulped silently as i looked back up, my shoulders tensing a little - they always did that when i was around anyone else besides my band mates and fans.


    jeez, why couldn't i remember his name? aiden, maybe? no, no, hayden. yeah, i'm pretty sure that's his name. that's a cool name, don't you think? um... up for a movie, or somethin'? i just kinda wanna be lazy and sh.t, right now, so... u-uh, yeah... god, patrick, could you be any more awkward? i continued rubbing at the back of my neck, gnawing on my lower lip and lowering my head. i shrugged my shoulders out of habit, pursing my lips and shifting a little. i started gnawing on my lip again, looking up with only my eyes.


    i'm so f.cking tired, and i need a f.cking cuddle. pardon my french.


    ( out of character ) d'aw, you're just saying that. :-[ aha... and please; your post was absolutely magnificent! don't worry 'bout it. <3
    same here, and same here. i'm still so excited for this. ^^
    ugh, that gif, though.


    [align=right][size=7pt][color=white][c] gee.[/size]

  • with heave above you there's hell above me [ p. cashby!? ]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -19px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 53px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;]marley radcliff[/fancypost]
    but tonight i'll make you feel beautiful once again
    [align=center][size=21pt][ [color=black]if i were you, i'd put that away ]    [/size]


    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 460px;][hr][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; height: 350px; width: 450px; overflow: auto;][justify][sup][size=7pt][color=black]//i love that gif so much. i don't know why, but it's beautiful. :3


    marley was honestly scared for max. there were so many thoughts racing through his head of what he could be doing to himself, and it scared him to no end. he knew max was that fragile; easily broken. the other teen might not show it, but marley always knew when something was up with max. he always knew if he was really happy or not, and something was telling him that max wasn't truly happy; at least, not as happy as other people. if he was happy, it was only a little bit, which hurt this tattooed teen. he knew he made a big, big mistake, but he had no idea it'd hurt the only one he'd truly loved so much. he knew it'd be hard for him, but he never knew it'd be this hard.


    it was hard for marley too, you know. being away from max, seeing him turn into this skeleton, seeing him so broken - it just really broke his heart to the point i couldn't possibly break any more. he was scared and utterly worried for his maxwell, and wanted to f.cking desperately to help him, as much as he could. marley would die for max, no matter what. he'd do almost anything for max, no matter what they said or did to each other. not like the taller would do anything to hurt the younger, or anything. again. like said before; marley would never forgive himself for breaking up with his truly beloved maxwell. and nothing - no one - would ever get him to forgive himself, or love himself again. it was impossible, now.


    the teen flinched a little when hearing the other's small, soft voice. his smile was small and sad, trying not to look sympathetic. marley himself didn't like receiving sympathy, and he knew max didn't, either. he looked away, nodding his head as he looked through the stacks of movies. he started humming, gnawing on his lower lip, messing with his lip ring. he honestly loved horror movies, but he knew all too well max hated them. marley didn't mind at all; it wasn't a big deal.


    he picked out possibly the cheesiest love movie he had - p.s. i love you. what? it was a really good movie. it might be sad, but in all honesty, marley absolutely loved the movie. he admittedly cried every time he watched it, and he got teased for it. it wasn't the hurtful kind of teasing, but rather the playful kind. anyway, marley put the movie in, then stood up and crawled onto the bed. he covered them both, and pulled max close to him, snuggling up to him. he reached for the remote on his nightstand, thanking the heavens he'd remembered to turn the lights off last night. sometimes he forgot to do that, okay?


    "i love you, maxxy," he whispered in the other's ear, kissing his jawbone just below his ear. he nuzzled his face in the other's neck, letting the previews play so he could just take this all in. something felt off, but he tried hard to just enjoy this moment. he knew exactly what was off, but he didn't say anything about it. they'd talk about it later, when they weren't cuddling and watching a movie.


    //pfft, it's totally fine. c:
    [/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 450px;][align=right][font=courier][size=7pt][color=white][c] gee.

  • ɪ'ᴍ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ [ᴘ] sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴏᴜɴᴅ

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;][/fancypost]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;]patty walters[/fancypost]
    i'm fading fast, out in the cold unknown
    [align=center][size=17pt][ my heart is breaking and life won't wait ][/size]


    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 500px;][hr][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 550px; cursor: url(http://media.tumblr.com/d8f7b2…ine_n7p8i5IQ241r6tyei.png), auto;][justify][sup][size=7pt]okay, so i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about death in the worst possible way - suicide - sometimes. i always tell myself that what i'm going through is a phase; a very, very long phase. all these horrible, negative thoughts and feelings'll go away soon enough. i'd just have to wait it out, and deal with it. but there was a bigger part of me that told me i'd never get any better; that i'd always have these ugly thoughts and feelings. i guess i'm just gone beyond repair. i haven't had a f.cking boyfriend or girlfriend in, like, five years - no exaggeration. but i guess that didn't matter, right? i had my friends and my family, including the fans that were oh-so supportive. they were all my lifeline, really, and without them, i'd be six feet under. since the band formed - since i found friends who actually cared - my panic attacks were getting less frequent. oh, yeah. i totally forgot to tell you about that, didn't i? yeah, i had panic attacks, and they were freaking... so freaking fun! sarcasm, if you couldn't tell; that statement was full of it.


    my smile brightened for a brief second when he called me 'buddy'. people called me that all the time, but each time it made my heart swell. it reminded me of just how many people cared. but then again, it reminded me of how i was practically lying to everyone, saying i was perfectly fine whenever someone asked if i was alright. just that one, simple word reminded me of how big of an idiotic hypocrite i was, and that i'd never be truly happy again. there was only a little light left, and that little light was the friends and family i had. it made me just the slightest bit happy that i had loved ones who didn't f.cking scream at each other, or hit me, or some sh.t like that. god, now i feel really bad. those poor kids out there who have to endure that kind of crap, probably taking everything out on themselves. hypocrite moment, i just had, right there.


    i sniffled, watching him move to the bunk right across from me. i slowly sat back down on mine, careful not to hit my head. i scooted back a little, crossing my legs so i'd be sitting indian style. i took the beanie off my head and a ran a hand through my hair, which felt the slightest bit greasy. i grunted silently, scrunching my face up for only a moment. gross. i wiped at my face after putting my beanie in my lap, licking over my lips. i leaned back until my back hit the wall behind me, closing my eyes. hayden was lucky i actually slept in pants, unlike some certain people i know. i chuckled almost inaudibly at the thought, slowly opening my eyes to look over at the other. i took the moment of silence to really look at him, a faint smile etching across my face. my cheeks were heating up like they always did when i looked at anyone for a certain amount of time, but i just completely ignored it. not like it hasn't happened before; totally normal. for me, anyways.


    his hair was unruly, but it still looked good. that unruly 'style' looked good on him, and i'm not afraid to admit it. the thing i noticed right away were how his eyes shined so bright. they reminded me of the eyes of a puppy, and my faint smile got a little bigger. i wasn't afraid to admit that he was a good-looking guy, because he really was. even straight guys would have to admit it. i mean, look at those f.cking eyes, man. plus, i knew he was a pretty cool guy. like, he wasn't full of himself, and he was really nice. he had a sense of humor, and was quite funny, himself; though something told me he was the kind of guy who could be serious when a situation called for it. like a funeral.


    i was snapped out of my stupid thoughts at the sound of a familiar voice, and i wanted to slap myself - it took me a few seconds to finally realize who it was. i mean, come on. he was right in front of me, for one, and second, he was the only other one in the freaking bus. i shewed that away, and had to think for a moment. hmm, what to watch, what to watch. guess i should have thought of that beforehand, huh? i guess i did just get inside like five minutes ago, and it was only a few moments ago when the thought of watching a movie popped up in my mind. yet again, i shewed that thought away, and started naming movies in my head. well, i loved the nightmare before christmas, a bug's life, frozen - don't judge me - and coraline. oh, and the corpse bride. any tim burton movie, really. they were my top favorites, with the nightmare before christmas at the top of the list. but i was kind of in the mood for the corpse bride. i hoped hayden liked tim burton movies.


    i looked at him with tired eyes - they might have been a weird, icy-blue-silver, but that didn't mean they shined so bright. because to me, they really didn't. i hated my eyes - i hated my eyes, my smile, my f.cking everything. ahem. i frowned at my hands, which were loosely folded in my lap. i gulped silently, then put that small smile back on my face when looking back up at him. i disgust myself. well, i hope you like tim burton, 'cause i'm in the mood for the corpse bride. i silently thanked the heavens that the reply didn't sound emotionless. usually when i was this tired my tone would get kind of blunt and... well, emotionless. i don't know, whatever. i let out a silent sigh, rubbing at my eyes before pushing myself to the edge of the bunk, putting my feet back on the floor.


    i got myself up to my feet, stretching a little as i did. i bent down and rummaged through my duffel bag, chuckling silently and lightly at the thought of ben, andy or jace smacking my ass. i shook my head a little, grabbing a pair of grey sweatpants and a sweatshirt, which had the design of a very colorful tiger head on the front. i looked over to the other for a quick moment before shuffling to the utterly small bathroom. i couldn't wait for a hotel night. i shut the door, though didn't bother locking it, and stripped myself of my shirt and skinny jeans, trying not to cringe at the side of my almost fully naked body. i couldn't help but poke at my stomach just once before slipping on the baggy sweatpants, which hung loosely off my hips. too loosely. the same with the hoodie; it was way too big, but i didn't care. these were my lazy clothes, and they were comfortable as f.ck. so leave me alone.


    i quickly brushed my teeth, then looked at my face in the mirror. dark circles were starting to appear under my eyes, but i shrugged it off and splashed my face with cold water. i understood that it was nighttime, and that getting sleep would be wonderfully amazing, but i kind of wanted to actually watch the movie without falling asleep in the middle of it. i dried my face off as much as i could with the small towel on the edge of the sink, then walked over to the door. my face flushed a little when i opened the door and stepped out, yawning and stretching once more. i ruffled my hair, then fiddled with the ends of the hoodie's sleeves and wrapped my arms around myself. habits, habits, habits.


    ( out of character ) you're so lovely, my teddy bear. <3
    well, i appreciate the compliment, too. ;3
    ha ha. you used awesomeness instead of awesomesauce. thank you. //fails at trying to be serious//
    ugh, i know. it's not fair. *^*


    [align=right][size=7pt][color=white][c] gee.[/size]

  • HAVE A SMOKE, POUR A DRINK [pafp & bxb] STEAL A KISS IN THE DARK

    [align=center][font=times new roman][size=10]i hummed in response to his thank you, then looked over to him to see his expression after i was done writing. i was pretty proud of those lyrics, in all honesty. thanks to jamie, my mind was finally cooperating with me on this song. thanks to jamie, i was f.cking talking and smiling. i was smiling. me. i was f.cking smiling. like, a real, genuinely true smile. and it was around other people i barely knew. thank you, jamie, for making me seem not so boring and bland.


    oh, where i got the idea for the chorus of this particular song? well, i think that answer is pretty obvious; teenagers. i mean, most of them these days were so fake, and they told you that you had to be f.cking perfect. they thought they had to be perfect in order to fit in - well f.ck fitting in. teenagers really are kind of scary. there are so many bullies out there who don't realize that they're slowly killing people from the inside, and sometimes even out. being a teen is some scary sh.t. and nowadays, lots of littler kids - even younger than thirteen - think they have to be all perfect and sh.t. the present time is so f.cked up - this whole world is just full negative things and it's so horrible. stupid media.


    i dunno, i was just walking around in the mall with daisy, and boom! there were all these teenagers walking around. okay, i know that not all teens are fake and stuff, but you have to admit that most of them are, these days. the world we live in is kind of scary, and to me, it all started out with the media. thank you, to green day, for making the wonderful song 'american idiot'. it really does symbolize the united states of america. i don't give two f.cks about what people think or say about me, but it's true. i'm just glad there are some people out there who actually agree with me. i guess you really are never alone, huh?


    i snapped out of my thoughts at his voice, looking down at the napkin he'd grabbed as he scribbled more lyrics down. i nodded my head a little at him, humming almost inaudibly. i read over what he wrote, nodding my head a little again. "perfect," i whispered to myself, getting lost in trying to find more lyrics. i gnawed on my lower lip, my gaze travelling over to daisy and allie. daisy gave me that look - you know, that look, and i only rolled my eyes at her. she smiled devilishly at me before turning back to allie, continuing their little conversation. i sighed silently, rubbing one of my arms in thought.


    ah, there we go. i put my fingertips on the napkin he'd just used and slid it closer to me, then started scribbling down more lyrics on top the other three. i hummed, satisfied with what i'd written. thank you, once again, jamie.


    'the boys and girls in the clique
    the awful names that they stick
    you're never gonna fit in much, kid    '


    "this is awesome. thanks, like, a lot. this was really gnawing at me," i said, my voice quieter than most other's, though soft and gentle. i gestured towards the napkins with a simple wave of my hand, so he knew what i was talking about when i said my last statement. "you know, the guys - my only friends, aha - would really like you. you should, uh, really come over to the record shop, some time." wow. i was really proud of myself for that. i rubbed the back of my neck, giving him a shy, kind of hopeful little smile. what? leave me alone.

  • with heave above you there's hell above me [ p. cashby!? ]

    [fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 49px; margin-bottom: -19px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;][/fancypost]
    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal; font-size: 53px; margin-bottom: -17px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: center;]marley radcliff[/fancypost]
    but tonight i'll make you feel beautiful once again
    [align=center][size=21pt][ [color=black]if i were you, i'd put that away ]    [/size]


    [align=center][fancypost bgcolor=; bordercolor=; borderwidth=0px; font-family: times new roman; font-style: normal [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 460px;][hr][/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; height: 350px; width: 450px; overflow: auto;][justify][sup][size=7pt][color=black]//ugh, a little too beautiful, if you ask me. d; ha, same here. way too many. also vic fuentes pics/gifs, and mike fuentes, and tony, and jaime, and oli, and gee, and frankie, and.. you get it. it's one of my favorite movies. it's so sad, and i cry every single time, but it's so beautiful. <3


    he'd heard those words so many times, but no matter how many times max said those words to him, they always brought butterflies to the elder's stomach. it was cheesy, but it was very true. he knew, now, that maxwell really meant those words, and it just meant so much, you know? to have someone you love romantically love you the same way back was an amazing feeling. max was so special, to marley, and he was determined to never make such a big mistake as letting him go again. ever. he loved him so freaking much, and he could only wish that he would tell him what was wrong. i mean, he knew what was wrong, but he didn't know what was wrong. and it made him feel sick.


    "hmm, i love you to the moon and back. more than that," he whispered against his neck, almost completely content, except for the unsettling feeling of not knowing.


    //totally not bad. i'll admit, i kind of like jason derulo. d: and ikr?! ha, mikey/kellin. yes.
    pfft, whatever. i totally understand, love. c:
    [/fancypost]
    [fancypost bgcolor=transparent; border: 0px inset transparent; width: 450px;][align=right][font=courier][size=7pt][color=white][c] gee.