Posts by une

lmao i feel like literal shit

i really?? just. why do i bother anymore yknow
i came out to my parent but she really isnt taking it seriously, all i wanted was a binder for my bday but literally got anything else but that. she didnt get me "boy clothes" either
apparently "male" clothing is more expensive than "female" clothing to her. wow lmao
i hate my body, and she doesnt care
i havent been able to tell my therapist or my school counselor because ?? what if they just, leave me
ive been feeling this way since the end of 5th grade, which is also when i questioned my sexuality. she thinks im getting all these ideas from the internet. she thinks im just some dumb teenager who is easily influenced. plus, she apparently has a boyfriend??? and that makes me super uncomfortable because it could be anyone that shes dating. ive lived on this earth for 14 years without a dad, you think bringing some random shit dude into my life would be great?? hes not my dad. i dont want anything to do with him. he could be in my house when im at school, and shes all saying "you dont want me to be happy" and how she doesnt wanna die alone. well, shit, i didnt plan to grow up half my life without my so-called "step brothers" i dont even know what my dad looks like, nor my 4 brothers. im your damn kid, i want you to be happy, but why should you be happy if youre not even trying to help me cope with my anxiety.
plus, i rescued a kitten on halloween, (he had a head injury, to where his brain was showing) and people are all telling me that im not doing anything for it and should just take it to the vet. i did, im doing everything i fucking can. be happy i didnt leave it to die. i cant afford to get it the treatment it needs, and i dont want to put it down, giving up on him would be like giving up on myself. but, ok, if im not doing shit ill just put him down, ill just give up and throw all the care i gave him, if "im not trying to help it". its been too much for me to handle lately, plus school and stress. i ended up hurting myself again because honestly?? if thats the only way my mother ever takes me seriously than maybe she'll start to fucking care instead of texting her "boyfriend" 24/7.
she always promises to do something but never does it.
i dont know what to do anymore