Posts by Pixie_Stix

Bermuda slunk silently through the shadows of the forest. He came across a scent that confused him. Following the scent, he realized it had taken him in a circle. Territory markers, perhaps... He thought to himself. It was then he caught a scent of another cat, he crouched down in the thick underbrush and watched to see if the cat would show itself.

That was great, and you used good adjectives without overdoing it. That's a tip to remember: Although using description is great, don't go overboard and add in more than necessary. There's a difference between good role-playing, and trying way to hard. Now, is there anything else you'd like to learn about?

I can't think of anything. You're always welcome to come back later if you find something, though.

Quailfeather had padded through the entrance to the new camp "Well, someone could've told me you guys were here earlier, I've been searching forever!" She sighed in relief, then realized that they were working on the camp. "Oh, I'll help, what can I help with?" She asked just out loud to anyone who would answer.

Power playing is one player RPing another player's character without permission.

I will use the cat and dog scenario as an example:

The large, hungry rottweiler bounded after Whiterain. The she-cat ran as fast as she could to escape the rampaging dog.

See how I RP'd Whiterain, even though she's not my character (sorry, Prongs, just an example).

Username:
Pixie_Stix
Cat Name:
Fa-Rae
Age:
134 moons (11 years and 2 months)
Position Wanted:
Retired
Bio Link:

Other:
Would you like a role-play sample?

Bumping...

Alright! You have been accepted, I'll start right away!

Of course I can help you! Do you have a role-play sample?

Now, might I ask what the facial expression is?

"I can hunt," Quailfeather called. The young she-cat had found safety during the accident and was, for the most part, unharmed.

Bermuda noticed that she had caught a scent, and padded over in the direction her head was turned. He could smell the stale scent of fox and moved over to the thicket in which the scent was. While his focus remained on the scent, he had disregarded being inconspictuous and allowed the branches and leaves to crackle and shift behind him.

Quailfeather nodded, "Where will we be hunting?" She asked Frostbite.

I can do two cats, but I probably can't color them (I will shade them, though) For the second cat, would you like it just like the first one? (not exactly alike, but walking with the first one.)

Blackbird (Sarah) wrote:

Moon glided >><< across the ground, her silvery-white paws barely scathing the random leaves and pine needle squewed across the forest floor, her >><< eyes focused >><< on her prey. Her moon-like eyes flicked from side to side as the >><< rabbit jumped, left, right, left, right. Moon crept up slowly on the >><< animal, about to pounce when a dark shape bumped into her head, and she jumped back, startled. The rabbit immediately dissappeared into the >><< brush and Moon scowled >><<, looking at the >><< moth that had caused her to lose such a tasty morsel. "Mousedung." She grumbled angrily, scolding herself for her stupid reaction. Moon blinked >><<, and it looked as if the moon went from Full moon to new moon and back again all in a matter of a second. She plopped angrily on her rear and sighed inwardly. "Im so stupid!" She exclaimed >><<.

Very good! Now, let's try adding a few adjectives. Just a few, this post was satisfying, but adjectives always give it a little more. (I put >>...<< in the places that I thought you could add something.

The silvery tom froze and looked over his shoulder at the she-cat. She had spotted him. He crouched in the bush and backed up slowly, hoping she had noticed something else.

Moon glided softly across the ground, her silvery-white paws barely scathing the random leaves and pine needle squewed across the forest floor, her glowing eyes focused hungrily on her prey. Her moon-like eyes flicked from side to side as the plump rabbit jumped, left, right, left, right. Moon crept up slowly on the fluffy animal, about to pounce when a dark shape bumped into her head, and she jumped back, startled. The rabbit immediately dissappeared into the distant brush and Moon scowled, disappointed, looking at the stupid moth that had caused her to lose such a tasty morsel. "Mousedung." She grumbled angrily, scolding herself for her stupid reaction. Moon blinked, and it looked as if the moon went from Full moon to new moon and back again all in a matter of a second. She plopped angrily on her rear and sighed inwardly. "Im so stupid!" She exclaimed angrily.

Nice! Now, I just noticed a few mistakes that I put in bold. I didn't mention why, but if you have any questions, just ask!

I also noticed that you had used the word "angrily" quite often. How about finding a synonym or even a whole new word to use, instead?

Bermuda peeked his head over the top of the bush to meet a pair of eyes that were giving him an icy glare. He stepped out, "Alright, I surrender... Do with me what you wish," He said, waving his tail in the air as if it were a white flag.

Bermuda looked at the she-cat, confused, "You can talk to me, I won't bite..." He said encouragingly, sitting down and curling his tail around his paws calmly as if this happened everyday.

"Y-You can't talk?" he guessed, judging by her actions and her previous silence. He bowed his head sadly, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to not be able to talk. He had always used speech as his way of settling things, to talk things through with his siblings.